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Dreamcatcher last won the day on May 24 2016

Dreamcatcher had the most liked content!

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About Dreamcatcher

  • Rank
    French Kisser

Profile Information

  • Music
    Christine and the Queens, Chase & Status, Earth Wind & Fire, Supertramp
  • Location
    South West UK
  • Interests
    My horse, my dogs, meditation, swimming, riding, walking my dogs, spirituality,
  • Favourite TV Show
    The Fall, Made In Chelsea

Recent Profile Visitors

630 profile views
  1. Hey hey Dreamy, long time no see. How are you? X

  2. twenty years married, for at least the last ten years for me exactly the same as you, oh my how sex is a chore, I hate it, no sex drive, I do it for him, for me no pleasure. Maybe once every two weeks he says...fancy a shag...and I think 'oh shit' but I say 'yeah fine' and then afterwards I say to myself 'well that's over for another two or three weeks anyway' I gave up communicating a long time ago, my big mistake was to pretend I enjoy it and still do, how can he know I don't and things need to change if I don't tell him? Thing is I don't even know if I want to try.
  3. I clearly need to find whatever it is I've lost because I have no sex drive whatsoever and haven't enjoyed sex with my husband for a very long time. Somewhere inside I know I have the desire to make love with a woman but right now I just feel dead. So when I see how most people here love sex and enjoy it so much I confess I feel very envious and very under confident about being sexual with anyone. I don't even bother pleasing myself. If I'm a raging ball of hormones it's due to the menopause and not in a sexual way....damn!!
  4. Were you finally able to make the break because you had somewhere to go? I have always felt that the only way to do this is to be in a situation where I can just go, and be able to be independent. Like pack up, sorry I'm leaving, and go. I've never been in that position to be able to, it's always meant he would have to go and I wouldn't manage financially on my own to continue living in the same place alone without his income.
  5. I just must say a big thanks for your replies and for each of you taking the time to tell me your thoughts. It's very rocky at home for me ATM but I've got to this point so many times before...almost breaking up but just not finding a way to see it through. I dont know if that is because I lose my nerve or because of practical reasons, probably a bit of both. I don't believe that he would ever be the one to leave me, so how do you force someone out if they have no intention of going and every intention of making it as difficult and hurtful as possible?
  6. I've been spending a lot of time lately telling myself to make the best of my situation, that I should bury the thoughts of wanting a different life and that being twenty years married is something to be proud of and I should work to keep going. But..... There's no emotional connection, we are at different ends of the scale, he avoids thinking or taking about anything remotely meaningful so I live in a world of my own. I loathe having sex but I do it to keep life peaceful, it's easier to give up twenty minutes of my life doing that and then get it over with for hopefully a week or two, or if I'm lucky three. I pretend to like it....always have done. In reality I feel nothing. I thought it was my fault and that I was frigid, so I've always faked it during penetration, earlier in the marriage foreplay was good and that compensated for the lack of pleasure during intercourse itself, he was a great kisser! I've always found kissing such a turn on with him, until he got lazy and forgot how to kiss. I have never experianced anything physical with a lady but the desire to just grows within me, as well as to feel that emotional connection I'm convinced I could only feel with a woman. I don't think it's fair tho to try to build a relationship with someone outside my marriage because I want to give 100% to that lady and not be entangled in this marriage. I've only communicated with one lovely woman that I just knew I could've fallen for big time (if we could ever have met each other) but I need to be single, cheating isn't the answer it won't solve the fact I don't want a man in my life and would happily never have sex with a man again. I have tried so many times to talk to him about the rut our relationship has slipped into, but he just says it's fine and because we've been together so long what's the problem. He's happy, he gets his meals his beer his space to chill out doing what he wants with no issues to worry about because I deal with everything and can't tell him anything that worries me. If this is what my soul mate is supposed to be then I'd rather be alone. I'm trapped, if I was in a position to be able to leave and be independent then I would have done so before now, but honestly I cannot see a way out. So like I said earlier, I decided to just make the best of it, for the last few months I stopped posting here on Shys to express myself and tried to keep my mind occupied with my work and other things, and really tried to forget any desire to leave. We don't argue, most days we just get on fine, live seperate lives in the same house. Yes it could be worse that's for sure. But this sums up why I can't stand being with a man any longer and perhaps it really is the end of the marital road when.....after a few weeks with no physical affection ....he walks past me in the kitchen, gropes my boobs and says "I'll have some of them later".....
  7. You can't go wrong using coconut oil, it's fantastic as a conditioner, you can leave it in your hair overnight for an extra deep condition. Also when you apply the bleach you can rub coconut oil into your hair and scalp first, it doesn't stop the bleach from taking, but it protects while the bleach is working. What bleach do you use? I've tried many over the years but Loreal Platinium is fantastic and I think it's available at Sally's.