Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Ona last won the day on April 16 2017

Ona had the most liked content!

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About Ona

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    Music, movies, books, travel (unfortunately not much time to do any of these lately, especially the last 2)

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  1. Welcome! I relate to a lot of what you write. I also identify as bi and demisexual. This is a great place to try to figure yourself out. I also had experiences when I was much younger with people (both male and female) liking me and me not knowing what to do with it. Good for you for being in therapy and figuring it all out. Took me longer on my own!
  2. Here is a link to my similar story (except my friend was not a lesbian, but otherwise very similar behavior). I hope it works and i hope it helps you. I basically did a lot of interspection and thinking about what I wanted in the future and got a lot of support on here and from my husband. It really ended up as one giant learning experience for me, and was very necessary for me to get where I am now. And I like where I am. Wishing the same for you!
  3. I relate to your situation so much. Read my thread called “friend crush” it also seemed to me like it went well when I told my crush my feelings although she never quite said if she reciprocated. When I tried to confront her about it the last time she made me feel like I was a creepy stalker for bringing it up. It’s now been about a year and a half since then with zero contact. I can’t believe how infatuated I was at that time. But I remember it well. So I know what you are going through. Women are so weird. Best of luck!
  4. People are so weird. Took me a long time to get that. No way to know why she didn’t want to tell you about this other relationship. Or the exact nature of that relationship or how she feels towards you. She seems confused or a bad communicator or some combo of those two. All you can do is keep being yourself and reveal as much as you are comfortable revealing to someone who may or may not be comfortable with that.... i have no real advice to give. But I feel for you. Sounds like a complicated situation.
  5. To me, the worst is a non answer or not knowing. Knowing where I stand is so important for my own sense of well being. That state of reading every little gesture or every word is exhausting and can drive you crazy. It’s exhilarating at first, but to me it eventually becomes painful. And I don’t really want to ever have to live through that again. if she can’t handle what you tell her she probably wasn’t that great to begin with. If she handles it gracefully with either reciprocating your feelings or not, than she is someone worth having in your life. I guess what I am saying is, talking to her is worthwhile, and will get you to a better place. No matter the outcome.
  6. I also think M sounds like a total douche and is winding you up. I mean maybe you just want to sleep with him too, and don’t really care if he cares about you, but he sounds like he is just messing with your emotions. Your husband may be horrible but you don’t make this guy sound much better. I would run from that situation. Sure it may be a little ego boosting to have someone write to you once in a while and to daydream about making out with them. But the things this guy says to you and the way he constantly changes his tune and the fact that he just dropped your husband as his friend to be able to mess with you scream really loudly to me “he doesn’t give a shit about you” And if it’s just about sex that’s fine. But if not, I would look for someone else to cheat with.
  7. I kinda feel bad for the ghosters. And I can only say this many years later. But I think they just don’t know how to deal with their emotions. And they end up hurting people who they obviously have some very confusing emotions towards. if you just didn’t give a crap, but have proven to be a generally polite person, why would you act that way? Why wouldn’t you try to do the polite thing if you had no emotions of your own at play. It wouldn’t cost you anything....to just say goodbye or tell the person you don’t wanna be friends anymore... or whatever. That’s only uncomfortable if you do care in some way. Otherwise it’s just another conversation.... or.... you are just not a very nice person to begin with.
  8. Aimee & Jaguar is one of my all time favorite movies! It’s so good!
  9. I had this happen in real life with someone who was a friend for about a year and a half, was intertwined with my family, hung out with all of us, came to parties where we had similar acquaintances, and hung out in similar circles, we went on a long weekend trip together, just the two of us. We texted or talked on the phone daily, hung out a couple of times a week, did a hobby together in a larger group. I told her I had feelings for her. She seemed to take it well, said all the right things, but started acting more and more distant. When I flat out called her out on it she said she needed time. I gave her 2-3 weeks and then checked up on her and she acted like I was the biggest stalker/weirdo. Have gotten one text message from her since, tellIng me her baby will be a girl and that’s it. It’s been over a year. so I know how you feel somewhat. Makes you question your sanity. Makes you question a lot of things about yourself. but in the end, it was a decision she took to act the way she did. She is the one with issues. Who knows why or what those are. All I can say is for me it sent me on a quest to find out more about myself. Including joining this site and many other things all of which has been very helpful and enlightening. It’s helped me feel much more in touch with who I am and what I want. so in that sense it was worth it! For me anyway.
  10. I relate to a lot of this. But not all. so I met up with my long distance girlfriend about 2.5 months ago also in a neutral big city and also for 4 days. It was magical. She lives on another continent and we had met once before while I was wiTh my family visiting her country on vacation. But that was different. We are also both married to men. My husband knows; hers doesnt. coming back from those 4 days together I also went through a lot of emotion. But where our stories differ is that I like my life and where I live and I don’t want to change that. I like having my cake and eating it too. ;) I like both the relationships I have. I wish our long weekends could happen more often, but I fear some of that magic might be gone if we lived together. i think my girlfriend mostly feels the same. Although she has a more bumpy relationship with her husband than I do with mine. i think for your situation you need to be clear with your girlfriend what she wants. What’s her ideal situation? What are the hurdles in the way to makIng it happen? What kind of compromise would work for both of you? Or can you compromise? I think talking to her about it would be best, because you would both need to consider what to do next. Then you can look into any changes you want to make in your life with your husband, either small or drastic... good luck!
  11. I think my current situation is fairly close to my perfect situation. And I didn’t even know it was my ideal until I embarked on it. I have a great relationship with my husband. And I have a long distance girlfriend who he knows about and is perfectly fine with. I get to see her in person about twice a year because of the vast distance between us. But I talk with her daily and she is the closest person emotionally to me. Having that strong relationship with her and knowing that she cares about me is amazing. Being able to listen to her issues and try to be supportive is also pretty great. i guess when I first started thinking about all this i.e. bisexuality and nonmonogamy, I thought the situation you described would be my ideal. But I think practically it would just be too hard to give enough attention to both people and I would be exhausted and couldn’t hold down a job on top of it or have time for my kid. So in practice it would not be so ideal, just leave me stressed. the drawback of the current situation is that obviously I don’t get to spend as much physical time with her as I would like. But we sure make up for it when we do. And it’s nice that it’s this uninterrupted time where we can just be in our own magical bubble for a few days. That also would likely not happen if she were more physically integrated into my daily life. so, yeah I would call this pretty close to ideal all things considered. Could be maybe a little more ideal if she lived less than 20 hours of flying time away
  12. I am super excited about your story and I hope it all works out and she is just waiting for you to make a move. But I feel like I have to tell you that it didn’t work out for me. Twice. And both times I felt I was very very close to these women. True maybe the physical things weren’t as pronounced as they seem to be in your relationship. But we were very close. My very first girl crush lived continents away and we talked and emailed daily for hours at a time and took vacations together, knew ins and outs of each other’s lives. But she freaked out when I told her how I felt. so I don’t know, it all sounds great. But it may not be. Maybe she loves the ambiguity. But maybe she would be fine with making out with you. No one can know that... hard to tell... but you will either keep going this way, or something will happen and move you closer or further apart. There is really no predicting it. so just a little word of warning from me. I would love it to work out for you but it doesn’t always, even if it seems to be heading that way...
  13. Welcome! You will read many stories like yours on here. Of course not all the details. But similar enough. it sounds like the 2 of you are even closer than my crush and I were. It sounds like this is very much mutual. But it’s unclear how she will react to having an open conversation about feelings. As I have learned some people are REALLY not into that. so I don’t know what the next step for you is, but I am guessing it will progress naturally and you will eventually have even more intense physical contact. what helped me was reading a book called “sexual fluidity” by lisa diamond. it explains the wide range of female sexuality and made me feel like what I felt was well within the studies she conducted. what also helped me was being on this forum and reading about other people’s experiences. I hope you find this place helpful too!
  14. When you start a new topic , there is an option uptop to make a poll. It's kind of fun, it limits it to only 3 questions tho.