Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Ona last won the day on April 16

Ona had the most liked content!

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About Ona

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    Music, movies, books, travel (unfortunately not much time to do any of these lately, especially the last 2)

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  1. If someone asks I will tell them. Most people don't ask. Very few people have I felt the need to say anything about it unless they have asked. Some of my close friends, I have never told because they haven't asked. But at some point I feel like I probably will.
  2. Welcome! This is a great place to explore and find like minded women. My story is very similar to yours. I've had crushes on women but my husband was my first real relationship.
  3. Oh I remember this "does she like me" business. And how painful it is. You can basically never know. And it's so frustrating!!! I mean I had a girl keep calling me and texting me all the time, and stopping by my house, bought me a gift, told me I smell good, would not move my leg from hers when I leaned into her, invite me to a gay pride parade to be "lesbians" together, told me she felt she was emotionally cheating on her husband with me. And then when I told her I liked her claim she had no idea. And eventually be weirded out enough by the whole thing to stop talking to me altogether. Did she like me or could she just not handle what it meant that I liked her back? I have no idea and I'll never know. But I was very clear about expressing my feelings and I feel good about that. I don't think there could have been any confusion about how I felt because I came out and told her. i guess my only point here is that all you have control over is how you feel and what you do about it. Some people may or may not like you back, or may or may not be comfortable with telling you if they do. But you will really never know unless they choose to tell you. The lesson I learned from that experience is: don't waste your time and energy in figuring it out. If they can't send clear signals, they probably don't know what they want. And I am too old to be messing with people who don't know what they want.
  4. I get this with people I think are interesting. It doesn't have to be a romantic interest or anything. But I like the feeling of meeting someone interesting I would like to know more about or get to know better or hang out with. I get very excited! My husband is really great about chatting up random people in cafes of whatever so he meets new people all the time, so I've met a lot of people just hanging out with him getting coffee or something. Of course he also meets a lot of strange people this way, but sometimes you hit that gem you just really click with. i am actually in a cafe by myself right now. Very rarely do I meet someone when I am by myself. But then I am usually working and not looking to chat
  5. I relate a lot. I hate that feeling when you like someone so much that their mood or some small off-hand comment they make has this huge effect on your whole day. Or you feel like you are hanging on their every word. You can read my posts about how things went with my crush. And how I am getting over her best advice I have is distance. Distance yourself from people who don't return your feelings. For me nothing else works. Spend less time with them. Preferably no time. And get your self in a good positive frame of mind. Then you can test if you think you are over them. I saw my crush (who used to be my best friend) for the first time in 9 months and I still felt I didn't want to have to interact with her. So I guess I am still not over it. But I am working on it.
  6. This show is my guilty pleasure. I love it, but I have only admitted to my husband to watching it (and I guess all of sybi's now :)) I don't hide it from friends because of bisexual themes, tho, but because the acting is atrocious and the writing is pretty bad too. But the actors are hot. And it's true, that it's probably one of the very few pieces of popular culture with a positive portrayal (with no explanation necessary) of bisexuality. I think this show actually had a lot to do with me 'remembering' I used to be bisexual once upon a time.
  7. I can give some tips that worked for me in a slightly different situation; I.e i told my husband on our second or third date that I like women. There was really no reason to get too much into it until about 8 years later when I fell for a friend. hard. then I had to tell him That. I did it in phases: 1 I told him I still get crushes on women in general. 2. I told him I have a crush on that friend what worked for me was having a bit of alcohol at a party where we had a really good time. Then coming home and watching a movie with a lot of unconventional sexuality discussed. It was easy to say I find that "whatever was on the screen" hot. the other time we just stayed up talking after particularly good sex and for a long time and all kinds of topics came up and so I slipped my information in there. I was not sure how he would react but he has been super supportive of everything. and it has been nothing but positive for our relationship in general and sex in particular
  8. Who knows. Only she knows. You will never know. Especially if she is not willing to talk about it. I have no idea why my friends no longer speaks to me. All I can do is consider this all a huge learning experience. And I also have no idea if what your friend is thinking is similar to what my friend was thinking. Maybe this all turns out very differently for you. Or maybe the way I handled it is not right for you. Who knows? I just know that your description sounded eerily familiar to me.
  9. Everything you wrote hits so insanely close to home. You can read about my experience on a thread called "friend crush." If you search for it. my friend started withdrawing too, we had fights, and then I called her out on it. Then she said she needed some time. She was married too. So am I. And we haven't spoken in 9 months now. And this is someone I would text with daily, talk to on the phone a couple of times a week and hang out with at lest once a week. And sometimes the whole weekend. She was my best friend. It sucks. But I don't think there was anything I could have done differently. If she had just wanted to talk about it. I would have been fine just being friends. She just couldn't talk about any of it.
  10. The question is how long can you last with the flirting and ball in her corner? I lasted a little less than a year. I wish I said something sooner and spared myself some heartache. She at first acted flattered but still no direct resoonse: when after months of torture I pressed for a direct response we had a huge fight and haven't spoken since. Some people are just not comfortable with who they are. Hopefully your friend is. But there is only one way to find out. But maybe you enjoy the mental torture? I thought i did too. Until I got out of it and then wondered why I did that to myself.....
  11. This looks amazing! Can't wait! And I didn't even see Wonder Woman ;)
  12. Well asexuality is a spectrum just like bisexuality. i identify along that spectrum as well. Although I have a husband, a kid and a long distance girlfriend on the side. it means different things to different people. You could ask her what it means to her if you are intetested. She may or may not want to talk about it but you seem fairly close, so I don't think it would be out of line to ask her. It's taken me 25 years to basically understand that its a spectrum and where I fit along it and how it changes with time and what it all means for me. And what I am comfortable and not comfortable with. i can tell you how it works for me if you are interested, but I don't know if it will help much. It would be like asking one bisexual person how bisexuality works in general. But as we all know from hanging out on this forum it works in a wide variety of ways. And there is no one way that's representative for everyone. but if you can ask your friend how it works for her, you may make some progress. And not all people who identify somewhere along the asexual spectrum are necessarily sex averse.
  13. I am pretty clear on this. I have known I am bi for many years and before I got married. Although never had any physical contact with women. also, I'm not having any problems in my marriage, so the two are not related for me. although it was a little tough figuring out I have no objections to non-monogamy and bringing that up with hubby. But he has been super ok with everything. but I can see how that would be a question you can never really answer if both pop up at the same time...
  14. I think labels are just that labels. You can pick whatever feels right for you. i have identified as bisexual for about 15 years now although I have never had any kind of physical contact with women, until very recently. There is a really interesting book called "sexual fluidity" which goes into detail about wome who were studied and how their labels changed a lot throughout their lifetimes and a lot of them ended up not wanting any label by the end. It was really fascinating. but i think you get to pick what you feel fits you best.
  15. I didn't know about demisexual until I got on this site either, someone mentioned it about a year ago when I first joined. But it so closely matches my experiences. It was maybe an even bigger relief to find other people feel this way than bisexuality which seems pretty main stream in comparison. I have learned so much from this site.