Ona

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Ona last won the day on June 18

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About Ona

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    Multi-Orgasmic

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    Music, movies, books, travel (unfortunately not much time to do any of these lately, especially the last 2)

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  1. The way I read the original post is that a unicorn is someone who is open about their feelings and honest and not out to hurt other people. A headwrecker is someone who either doesn’t know what they want or purposely messes with people. Reading later posts it seems to me people read the original post differently than me. To me a headwrecker is just someone who is either immature or has a cruel streak. I’ve outgrown that kind of headwrecker. of course this reading is colored by my experiences and ymmv.
  2. I told my husband on 2nd or third date. It wasn’t anything I gave a lot of thought to it just came up I don’t even remember how. At the time I didn’t have much experience with men or women, but I knew I was attracted to both. I didn’t go into any detail just said something to the effect that I just click with a person and it doesn’t matter to me if they are male or female. Which is true. And as much as I knew about my sexuality. It didn’t really come up in any serious way until 7 years later.
  3. I have a difficult mother too. So I relate to a lot of this. It’s easier to deal with when she is thousands of miles away. What gets me through most of it is thinking “she has her own issues, don’t take it personally” its soooo hard not to. Hugs to you.
  4. No. some time ago I might have said yes. But not now. And you are a good person for telling her how it is and not leading her on.
  5. Nah, the headwreckers opened for the unicorns, broke up and were never heard from again.
  6. I think both people in the relationship have to be unicorns according to the description in the original post in order for it to work. Because when you are out looking for someone crazy and full of drama you will not appreciate someone who just wants to be honest with you. So even if you get yourself in a position where you are ‘a positive influence on those around’ you, the person you meet may not be ready for that. Just something to keep in mind...
  7. True, and I love that you used statistics to describe it. But some of it is cultural. The movies and the books you read make you think that it has to be hard and complicated to be love. It took me a long time to discover drama and headgames have nothing to do with love. i know that I am extremely lucky in that I found two unicorns. A husband who is fine with me having a girlfriend on the side and a girlfriend who doesn’t do head games and is everything you described a unicorn to be, into complete honesty and everything else.
  8. I don’t know about ‘very’ high, but I often think “I have a lot of sex... for an asexual person” But it’s very situational, especially when I had an unrequited crush on a friend, my sex drive was through the roof. but at times I am not crushing on anyone sex doesn’t even cross my mind
  9. Sorry you went through this. She certainly was not completely honest and kept leading you on, trying to twist the situation to what she needed instead of being respectful to your needs and wants. That sucks! Hope you find someone whose goals in a relationship more closely align with yours. Hugs!
  10. I also identify as demisexual. But as many things it’s a range. I actually thought I was asexual for a long time. Things in movies or books?? I actually really enjoy sexual things in them. And the weirder the better. Not because they turn me on in any way, just because I find it so interesting because it’s so different from me. I find it interesting in a way I find traveling to places with different cultures interesting. So in that way I am totally fine with voyerism in the way you are not. I have felt this way since my teens about the media I consume. But despite liking anything sexual outside the very hetero mainstream, I initially stayed away from most lesbian themed things. Maybe I had to clear it all up in my mind before I was comfortable with watching it or reading about it? Now I watch anything and everything. But for me asexuality/demisexuality means that I don’t NEED to have sex. I would actually be perfectly fine without it. If I am with someone I am in love with I do really enjoy it, and I may even initiate it. But outside of that context things just don’t really turn me on. And I find it fascinating that so many things turn other people on.
  11. But then what you did is not ghosting. Ghosting is just stopping communication out of the blue and never letting them know why.
  12. I agree that the letter will probably not accomplish anything. But I don’t know, if it will make you feel better to send a letter, then send a letter. Who cares if it will set off her stalker alarm? She was the asshole in this situation and you do not owe her anything. What happened to you sucks. I am sorry you were hurt by this person. But by acting the way she did, she does not get to decide what you need to do for yourself for closure. Having the gall to act like the person you just ghosted is a crazy stalker ? I know people do it, but it blows my mind even more than ghosting!
  13. Ha! Right here on shy’s. Long story short I joined here for support with a situation with a close friend I was falling for. Initially made a friend here who listened to me bitch endlessly about this frustrating situation. She lives half way around the world, but coincidentally where we were planning a family vacation to. So we met in person about a year later. By this point we were already messaging a million times a day and speaking once a week on the phone. Surprise surprise we clicked in person. Neither one of us had ever kissed a woman before. It was very sweet.
  14. When I joined shybi about 2 years ago I was where you are. I now have a pretty awesome girlfriend.
  15. What do you want out of this relationship? What do you get into fights over? I think those are things to think about...