Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Ona last won the day on April 16 2017

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About Ona

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    Music, movies, books, travel (unfortunately not much time to do any of these lately, especially the last 2)

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  1. That’s too bad! But if she can’t give you space to work out your issues, than maybe she wasn’t so great for you in the long run. You can hopefully just think of this as a great first experience that made you think about what you really want and how to work it out with your husband and now you can be ready when you meet the next lady.
  2. Well that sucks. Maybe he thought he would be ok with it but when it actually happened, he wasn’t? How much did you tell him after it happened? Did he keep asking for details or did you feel like you needed to talk to someone after it happened and so you told him? i’ve been in a somewhat similar situation. Well not the bdsm part, but starting to see a woman while married. My husband said he would be cool with it and he was. It’s also different in that she lives thousands of miles away and I mostly communicate with her while at work. But we talk daily and are very close. he met her and her family and has been ok with me going to spend weekends with her. Because of the distance that happens only a few times a year. He has never asked to join in, not even jokingly. He has joked about me running off with her the morning before I got on my flight to go meet her alone the first time. He also never asked for details afterwards. i also would be ok (in theory, no idea what I would think if it actually happened) with him seeing a man or a woman like that on the side if we discussed it before and talked it over. i don’t know if I have any specific advice for your situation. But I would have an honest conversation with your husband and explain why you need this and that you have no intention of leaving him. i would also examine why you have issues if he wanted to have a similar experience. It’s of course completely normal if you do, but I would spend some time thinking about why. And this not only to figure out why you would have issues with him doing it but also to be able to be more compassionate to his fears and know what kinds of things would make you (and therefore maybe him) more comfortable with it. Thats the best I got
  3. My husband, my girlfriend, my 2 ex crushes who couldn’t keep being my friend after I told them I was crushing on them and a male ex-best friend who just drifted apart for his own reasons (nothing to do with me being bi, at least I hope not). so I guess from people still in my life only husband and girlfriend.
  4. So happy for you! That sounded super hot.
  5. I saw it with my girlfriend. I really liked it. Very moody. Well acted. But I actually didn’t care for the sex scene at all. Everything else about it was well done though.
  6. Oh and what grade did you get in her class?
  7. No! Not mental! i am the same way. I am all or nothing too! I very rarely fall for people but when I do it’s obsessive. Maybe that’s what my crush talked about the last time I saw her almost 2 years ago and she called me intense and said she needed time :( A lot of reflection and self exploration has helped. Still I would feel very uncomfortable if I ran into my crush. Granted we were actually best friends at one point. But I still know what you are going though. My only advice: Find someone else to obsess over. Someone who deserves it and reciprocates! It’s a 100 times more of a high and none of the negatives you get with the unrequited crush. Easier said than done, I know!
  8. The way I read the original post is that a unicorn is someone who is open about their feelings and honest and not out to hurt other people. A headwrecker is someone who either doesn’t know what they want or purposely messes with people. Reading later posts it seems to me people read the original post differently than me. To me a headwrecker is just someone who is either immature or has a cruel streak. I’ve outgrown that kind of headwrecker. of course this reading is colored by my experiences and ymmv.
  9. I told my husband on 2nd or third date. It wasn’t anything I gave a lot of thought to it just came up I don’t even remember how. At the time I didn’t have much experience with men or women, but I knew I was attracted to both. I didn’t go into any detail just said something to the effect that I just click with a person and it doesn’t matter to me if they are male or female. Which is true. And as much as I knew about my sexuality. It didn’t really come up in any serious way until 7 years later.
  10. I have a difficult mother too. So I relate to a lot of this. It’s easier to deal with when she is thousands of miles away. What gets me through most of it is thinking “she has her own issues, don’t take it personally” its soooo hard not to. Hugs to you.
  11. No. some time ago I might have said yes. But not now. And you are a good person for telling her how it is and not leading her on.
  12. Nah, the headwreckers opened for the unicorns, broke up and were never heard from again.
  13. I think both people in the relationship have to be unicorns according to the description in the original post in order for it to work. Because when you are out looking for someone crazy and full of drama you will not appreciate someone who just wants to be honest with you. So even if you get yourself in a position where you are ‘a positive influence on those around’ you, the person you meet may not be ready for that. Just something to keep in mind...
  14. True, and I love that you used statistics to describe it. But some of it is cultural. The movies and the books you read make you think that it has to be hard and complicated to be love. It took me a long time to discover drama and headgames have nothing to do with love. i know that I am extremely lucky in that I found two unicorns. A husband who is fine with me having a girlfriend on the side and a girlfriend who doesn’t do head games and is everything you described a unicorn to be, into complete honesty and everything else.
  15. I don’t know about ‘very’ high, but I often think “I have a lot of sex... for an asexual person” But it’s very situational, especially when I had an unrequited crush on a friend, my sex drive was through the roof. but at times I am not crushing on anyone sex doesn’t even cross my mind