Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

  • Country

    United States

Ona last won the day on April 16

Ona had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

364 Excellent


About Ona

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Interests
    Music, movies, books, travel (unfortunately not much time to do any of these lately, especially the last 2)

Recent Profile Visitors

1,086 profile views
  1. This is amazing! Of course half of its charm is that it's in French. Clearly there could have been no other choice in language! This video makes my day! Love the music too!
  2. Oh wow! I feel for you. 17 years is a long long time! Does she know you are bi? At least! I feel like this is something you could share without having to share any more of it. I've fallen for close friends before. But never someone with that much of a history. It's sweet torture, isn't it? But for me every time it became more torture and less sweet. I did have a guy I have known for 20 years (although we were never as close as you and your friend and had by that time lived very far from each other) declare his love for me some time ago. He was a very good childhood friend. I feel like I was very kind to him and tried to make it not awkward for him because I knew how hard it was for him to say that. So I guess I would expect that from someone I love. If they couldn't do that for me, I would think they were not worthy of my love in the first place.
  3. He does know. I told him I was bisexual on our second date. So he's known that part for a while. You can read the whole saga with my recent crush which prompted me to find this website if you search for a thread called friend crush. but that ended in tears and I told him about my feelings for her. And he already knew. And we have had a couple of very deep and great conversations about sexuality and our relationship and so on. After me reassuring him that I love him and that our family always comes first he was very cool about it. He opened up about people he thought were hot. I think I startrd another thread called my husband is amazing or something like that where I wrote about that. i actually met my girlfriend right here on shy's. I didn't come looking for that. She was at first just a friend I could talk about all of This openly but with time we grew a lot closer and then had an opportunity to meet in person a few times which was magical.
  4. My kid is not nearly as old as yours. So all of this is much newer to me. Not the bisexuality, I knew about that before I met my husband. But the ability to be in love with more than one person at a time. I thought the crushes on girls wouldn't happen once I was married. Once they did I had to wrap my head around that. And now I accept it for what it is. And acknowledge it is possible. And even love that it is possible. But I think my crushes are of a romantic nature. I mean yes, I want to get physical with them. But I first have to fall in love with them madly for me to start obsessing over sex. i've only ever kissed and made out and gotten semi naked with one woman. And thats the current girlfriend. It was amazing!
  5. YEs! Yes to all of this. I love my husband and our family immensly but I have also always had crushes on women but nothing ever came of them. right after we had a kid i was so busy with all of that that i forgot about crushes, bisexuality, etc. There was just no time to think of it. But as my kid has gotten older I crushed again a few times. While still being in love with my husband. So yes it's possible. i also have recently found a girl who I am heads over hills in love with, but unfortunately many continents away. But she makes me so happy. So yes it's possible to want both. And it's also possible to have both! ;)
  6. Well.. you have 2 options. You tell her and take the chance that it may go awesomely or it may be the end. Or you don't tell her and keep torturing yourself. I went with 1. with my friend. After she invited me to the gay pride parade "to go be lesbians together!" At first it seemed she was fine with what I told her but taken aback. But after a few months the really close friendship crumbled and we haven't spoken in 8 months now, and I am sure it's permanent. but I am still glad I told her how I felt. The fact that she couldn't deal with it is her issue not mine. And in retrospect I was seeing her through rose colored glasses and the initial fun we had together had become replaced by this need to touch her and be close to her and a lot of guilt and just bad feelings. At that point I just had to say something. Because it had stopped being fun and had become painful. And so I did and it ended it. But I think I definitely made the right decision for me. not sure what the right decision is for you... but there is my story.
  7. You feel how you feel. Whether it was because she helped you or because you know her really well and know she is a good person or you find her funny or smart or whatever... it doesn't really matter, your feelings are what they are. But if she doesn't want to go there... not much you can do..
  8. It doesn't work that way for some people. Just looking for people to be with. For me for example it doesn't work like that. And I know I am in a very very large minority being demisexual. I am perfectly happy without anyone in my life, but if I click with someone I click with them. And it's just how it is. So I am not sure how it works for @blueberry but for me there was no looking for another person. I wanted the one I clicked with. As it turned out she didn't want me and that was heartbreaking. But as chance would have it I did eventually click with another woman. But @blueberryhas not talked to this friend about her feelings. There is no guarantee that they are not being reciprocated or that she would be completely opposed to some kind of poly arrangement. Maybe yes, maybe not. But why not even find out and dismiss it before trying?
  9. I have never had a situation like that. But I would assume it's something only the two people involved can figure out. With lots of very clear and honest communication. I don't think anyone else can tell you what worked for them because it may not be what the two of you want. You and your girl each have to be very clear with yourselves first about what each of you wants. then with each other to gauge if there is compatibility. And then make a plan of what you want to do and what is possible. what do you want? What would happen in the ideal world? What about the real world? What would you be willing to sacrifice? What does she want? In the ideal and in the real world? What would she be willing to sacrifice? Are your answers similar? Can you find something that works with the two of you? What about the other people involved? i know it's a really tough situation you are in. And it sounds like you maybe still are not sure what you want or what she wants. But only the two of you can know the answers to that! Best of luck! Hugs!
  10. The only American accent that really does it for me is the Boston accent. The other ones are fine but are just not an extra turn on or anything. i used to be very much into the Australian and kiwi accents until I discovered the South African accent in my ear! dear god! but I love most foreign sounding accents really and people speaking languages I don't speak!
  11. I have twice in my life (actually 3 times now that I think about it) crushed on a friend I was very close to. In one case I didn't have to say anything (and I didn't really understand what exactly I was feeling at the time anyway) and she was very clear that she was not interested in anything more than friendship. This was many years ago...She had moved to a different continent since, but we still keep in touch and have visited each other since. Although we talk occasionally, we are not anywhere as close but I don't think it has much to do with how I felt about her but just physical distance and different stages of life. The other 2 both reacted horribly to my confession and both called me too intense and friendships ended after many months (or other case years) of me agonizing what I should do about it and finally telling them how I felt. in the end as much as both those friendships were very fun, they were also very very painful. I spent all my time over analyzing their smallest gestures or what they said and a lot of the time feeling sad or ashamed of what I felt or whatever. This is what I learned from it (this time hopefully for good!): If someone loves you back (as a friend or as a romantic interest) they will trear you kindly and not make you feel bad for feeling what you are feeling. If they can't do that, they were probably not as good a friend or person as you imagined them to be. And while I had incredibly good times with both of them, I also had a lot of heartache. A lot! In the end I am glad I lived through those experiences, but I will try to be even more straight forward about how I feel in the future and not have to repeat the situation where i pine for people who are funny or smart or whatever I find particularly sexy, but are just really not comfortable with themselves. And therefore incapable of being kind or understanding. I am so grateful to have found someone who returns all my intensity and more! And I don't have to be ashamed of being intense and of being me, just to make them feel more comfortable. And now that I know that is possible and what that feels like, I can't imagine ever again settling for crumbs you get from someone who knows you are crushing on them but it makes them uncomfortable. But not uncomfortable enough to tell you they are uncomfortable!! Or to know if they feel the same or similar... it's hard to come to terms with all of this in the middle of a crush tho! I know! I knew most of this before and still fell AGAIN for someone who was not comfortable with themselves. Hopefully never again!! Because you know what is better than a crush? Being loved back!
  12. I don't think i will ever understand women. She told you she liked making out with you and that she's talked to her boyfriend about doing it again, and you know she is bi and you have had a crush on her for years.... and this didn't make you go in for a kiss? After a bottle of wine? and her making out with you for a whole night didn't make you think she is into you? i mean I guess the only thing that would convince you she likes you is if she jumped you every time she saw you? But think of it from her point of view. Maybe she is waiting for you to make a move.... so you will keep being stuck in this waiting game forever... are you cool with that? Do you enjoy the space you are in? Or is it driving you crazy? maybe age has eroded any patience I may have had... but man...:)
  13. But some parts of the forum are now visible to all which are not the same as the ones that were before. I Agree that some places on the forum should be visible to all to make it searchable and easy to find for new people who may benefit from joining. but can we have some kind of compromise? Can it be clearly marked which parts of the forum are visible and which are not. I figured out by trial and error that "relationship discussions" is the only one that's not visible to the general public. it would be nice if this was clearly marked. It would also maybe be nice if a couple of more forums were not for general public. Just some thoughts and suggestions on how to balance people's fears and the desire to be easy to find for new members.
  14. Yes!!! A thousand times yes! I bet a whole lot more women here are bisexual (dare I say most!) than lesbians who don't believe bisexuality actually exist would like to believe! this whole line of argument is ludicrous. Just because someone's experiences don't align with yours doesn't mean they "just can't face it" Bisexuality is real. Deal with it! I also don't understand the point of hanging out on a bisexual site if you think everyone there is delusional.
  15. Demisexuality makes it kinda mainstream I know at least a few other people on here identify as Demi, so may find it interesting that there is a very mainstream article talking about it and relate to some of the sentiments in it. I had no idea what demisexual was until joining this site. But it's helped me understand myself a lot better, since someone pointed it out. I don't necessarily care for any of the labels but it's helped me find out I am not alone in feeling this way, and that's always a good feeling. This is not the best writte article, it doesn't really have an ending or anything, but it definitely describe pretty accurately a lot of what being demisexual has felt like for me. anyway... just thought I'd share!