bi-the-ocean

GoldenShyBiGirls
  • Content count

    194
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Country

    Australia

Community Reputation

278 Excellent

1 Follower

About bi-the-ocean

  • Rank
    Big Tease

Profile Information

  • Music
    varies with mood, oldies, pop rock and hard/industrial rock straight to sappy love song playlist
  • Location
    NSW
  • Interests
    family, art and the ocean
  • Signature Fragrance
    eucalyptus oil, and/or lemon
  • Favourite Book
    Adams Empire by Evan Green
  • Favourite TV Show
    The Walking Dead, True Blood,
  • Favourite Film
    Harry Potter movies,

Recent Profile Visitors

815 profile views
  1. Plenty of Fish... POF seems to be working for me, have had lots of interest, 20+ in a week, a few awkward and a few really good conversations, and met someone locally that i'm going to try and get to know better over lunch and a game of pool tomorrow. I joined as a spur of the moment thing and so far so good. I haven't upgraded to a full account but don't think it's necessary. I can see if someone 'wants to meet' and send them a message, just can't use the rest of that feature. Go for it ladies.. there are people out there just like you looking for people just like you.
  2. No spark at first sight.. it smolders and grows.
  3. Hey girl do you remember me? Cake by the ocean.. I thought you left ... Good to see you around here .. :-)

    1. bi-the-ocean

      bi-the-ocean

      Sure do! I'm in and out all the time, get busy and come back when i get a chance,Thanks for checking in on me ;) 

  4. I'm all hormonal here too.. I can tell it's bad when i'm listening to sad 80's music and crying randomly and even knowing logically that it's partly a hormonal response, it doesn't help at the time. The feelings are real, the depression is real and intense.. It will pass though, hang in there!
  5. I've had a year of ups and downs and would love some stability and peace next year. I'm heading to the beach with kids and friends to watch the fireworks from across the bay and see what we can see locally. My resolution is to stop with the drinking that's crept up slowly to become a regular thing. It doesn't make me happy or relaxed, doesn't help me sleep, it's just become a stupid habit and it will be done tonight! Wish you happiness and love Vampire . Happy New Year!
  6. Sara - Starship troopers Love me like no one has ever loved me before hurt me, no one could ever hurt me more I'll never find another girl like you.. for happy endings it takes two we're fire and ice A dream won't come true... No time is a good time for goodbyes
  7. Haha blueberry, doesn't that sound horrible!! I've really cared enough to keep trying through hard times and hurtful behaviours that I know aren't right, kind of accepting that everyone has their 'things' about them, but not forever! and i don't need or want the drama either.. ! Thanks Vampire, you know how much it meant to me to finally meet and click with someone.. so yeah, the tragic first really hurts
  8. Hiya vampire... i've been in and out, just not as much, it's great to hear from you , hope you are doing well! We've already had a few of ...those talks , i put my big girl pants on and confront her directly and things improve for a little bit but always seem to end up back in the uncomfortable space. Socially dense .. at times!! and so 'cold' she has a well earned reputation as 'the ice queen' ..but she's not always like that, I have seen her softer, more open and vulnerable side, just wish she'd show it more often. I can handle her criticisms and moodiness, and was happy making compromises on the personal space issues, knowing that she really is just used to being alone, but it seems so one sided. I'm the only one trying, so every day it gets harder to keep the peace. I am considering my kids, we've all made behavioural changes to accomodate her and most are a good thing, but letting them see the tension and unhappiness and me accepting that, is definitely not something i want! I don't think there will be any more in betweens, I've come out already and told her to leave if she wasn't happy.. our next conversation will be me demanding that she leaves.. and i really didn't want to have to do that!
  9. thanks for the comments both of you! getting it out did help a little... I wish I could put it all down on paper, just doesn't seem to work that way, and i haven't been able to relax and 'let go' enough to really paint for months. I hope we can talk about it too but one weekend just wasn't enough time to heal, everything feels as raw as it has done for weeks. Chemfem - she didn't move here to be with me, she'd been talking about it for years before i met her. She made it clear that studying was her priority but also couldn't wait to spend time with each other.. A little bit of mixed messages. She's pushed other people away by being a bit judgemental, a little bit self absorbed, insensitive to other people's feelings, demanding when she wants to be and then closed off and unavailable whenever she feels like it. Eventually people just stop trying to be her friend when she makes it so hard! Her friends are my friends, so the awkwardness between them means group activities are almost impossible these days, and again, you just stop trying eventually. I'm worried that she's going to end up really alone, which is just going to make her harder and colder. She's not my responsibility, but i do care about her enough to want her to be 'okay'.
  10. It's been one whole year since i met my tragic first ff love..... she is a friend of a friend who I met when she was on a three week holiday in Australia from overseas.. we hung out, did touristy things with other friends, and then spent the last four days of her holiday completely together. It was amazing, beautiful and powerful. She left, and we chatted, and kept chatting, for months. It turned into saying good morning every morning and good night, every single night, but we made no promises and asked nothing of each other. We chatted until four am on christmas eve and when she called on the phone, just her voice left me floating for days. This went on for eight months, before she came back on a study visa. Naturally i made the offer of her coming to stay with me, to see how things went and/or help her get set up here. She's been here four months, and everything we had is gone. When she first arrived it was a little awkward, it took a few weeks to reconnect, but we did and waking up next to her was a dream come true. Then University started, she got busy and just suddenly turned cold. She still lives here , but has emotionally disconnected and it is so hard to try and be just her friend. I knew it would be hard and might not work, she's a completely free independant woman who has lived alone most of her adult life and i have two kids who constantly need time and attention, so there was always issues. Then there are personality conflicts, she's 'sensitive' to noises whether that's my typing or the scratching of my pastel painting or my breathing, or sometimes my mere presence and i'm trying to give her enough space to feel comfortable, but it's coming at the expense of my personal space and productivity in my own bedroom and home. I need some time to heal but don't want to ask her to leave and be pretty much alone in a foreign country ( she has pushed away her other friends here with some of her behaviours), plus as much as i tell myself I accept things, if she walked in the door tonight and kissed me I would instantly melt. It's so hard.. I know i should be selfish and do what's right for me, but I promised her I would be there for her and I meant it.. It wasn't dependant on whether the two of us worked as a couple, it's just hard, so much harder than I could have known... i've tried to talk to her but the words don't come out, have written it down but can't press send.. i'm going insane, drinking wine and listening to sad music while she is away for the weekend with some new uni friends... I know nobody can tell me what the 'right' thing to do is, there is no right , everything hurts..
  11. How are you and how is the clean up going post cyclone in Queensland? How easily we forget and move on when those impacted will remember for many years and live with the consequences of nature!

    1. bi-the-ocean

      bi-the-ocean

      cyclone :blink: guess I missed something ... I'm in NSW but I don't think the last cyclone did too much damage. Both states are more likely to still be cleaning up flood damage from the recent and not so recent rains. Ahh Australia.. gotta love it, the only place that can go from bushfires to storms and floods, sometimes in the same week!

       

    2. Leopard

      Leopard

      For sure but the floods were the tail end of a cyclone I believe. Yes thats our amazing nature in Australia

  12. I love your username. I'm jealous and wish I was near the ocean :)

    1. bi-the-ocean

      bi-the-ocean

      Thanks.. just do it, move and I promise you will never regret it!

  13. Relax.. it happens! Maybe you're trying too hard and making yourself anxious. I've always been shy and awkward, and have found that if i focus more on other people, I can almost forget my own worries and insecurities. Hope it helps and welcome to the forum!
  14. Black leaf tea, no milk or sugar, with some fresh choc mint leaves added to the mix.. yumm
  15. I saw it.. has some nice scenes.. but... SPOILER ALERT... Honestly, a commitment phobic casual player sees a woman from a rooftop, makes a rude catcalling comment that outdoes the wolf whistles from the men, and then decides after one brief meeting in a bar that she's the one person in the world she can really love and change for! *shakes head* It's not quite a romantic fairytale!