Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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caliwoman last won the day on November 29 2018

caliwoman had the most liked content!

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About caliwoman

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  • Music
    Anything and everything except 75% of country
  • Location
    Palm Springs, California
  • Interests
    Any and everything.
  • Signature Fragrance
  • Favourite Book
    She's Come Undone
  • Favourite TV Show
    Game of Thrones, Dexter, Ray Donovan, Wings
  • Favourite Film
    No Country for Old Men, Six Degrees of Separation, When Harry Met Sally, Postcards from the Edge

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  1. An interesting topic came up in a lesbian sub reddit, with bisexual women weighing in and to not drone on... Would you rather be with a woman, but for whatever reason (include your reason), choose to stay in hetero relationships? I did for a time. I was married for over a decade; my Hispanic family wasn’t about to be okay with this. My husband was the head of the household and was the “man.” It was hard to wrap my head around not having that. By the end, we’d been married for 15 years and together for 17. My feelings for women ran much deeper though and I knew it. To pull the plug on the marriage was like a death, but looking back it was the right thing to do. Does this resonate with you? Do you stay in hetero relationships although your feelings for women are deeper for that which you feel for.a man?
  2. You don’t manually stimulate these women? Is using a strap-on or vibrator an issue? As Blueberry said, there are workarounds.
  3. My ideal situation (when I was married and considered myself bi) was as you described but my feelings for women simply outweighed what I felt for a man. I will say it would have been a whole helluva lot easier to stay married to my husband and try to have a GF on the side, but he wasn't okay with this and it would have never worked out. Now identifying as lesbian, I am approached/propositioned by wayyyyyyy more women who are bisexual.and partnered. Sometimes the male partner knows, sometimes they don't; in the beginning, I dabbled with the women whose partner didn't know, then changed my mind about that and would only talk to women who were honest w/them. Most of these women want what I previously desired. Now, after multiple bad experiences, I've determined it's best to leave that alone altogether. Even though I was completely okay with them being partnered, I was always at the whim of the other woman and what her relationship allowed for. That's completely understandable, but I can't live my life on one minute he's okay with it, one minute he's not and the push-and-pull of all that (not to mention, her feelings as a result of this).. I've now changed my online dating profiles to reflect this; what irks me is when I'm upfront and the woman hides the guy until the last second when we're talking about meeting. That is a huge waste of my time and shady AF. I've never met a bisexual woman who wasn't partnered in some way. Of course, they are out there like I was once, but I've yet to meet her. As for myself, I know I wanted that situation (being married, yet having a GF) because I wasn't ready to pull the trigger and leave my marriage. Damn, that was a huge deal and very scary. Sometimes, I can't believe I was able to leave because once I left the safety of the relationship and you're full-fledged in the LGBT dating realm... shit gets real. LOL.
  4. Oh girl. Same. My same sex feelings can leave me completely embarrassed and occasionally ashamed. Still! I watched the Miseducation of Cameron Post and it triggered the hell out of me, probably because it’s set in the 1990’s when I grew up and the girl is in love w/her best friend. It brought up all these memories I’d long since forgotten and had to leave the house and take a drive. When I got back home, I had to say that: “I’m gay. I’m a lesbian” until it was numb to me and held no meaning. I still do it. My past is confusing because I was married to a guy and was such a boy crazy teenager, but I’m starting to think it was because that was expected of me. The more I come to terms with my sexuality, the more memories pop up and I can see where I was in denial and avoided the signs.
  5. I always find it interesting to read these replies. I’ve met more than a few women who ID as straight and continue to dabble with women. Trips me out, but I get it Some people don’t do or need labels and that’s cool. Others do. I fall into the latter and had to tell myself (out loud) “I’m gay. I’m a lesbian.” Occasionally that internalized homophobia pops up and I have to talk to it. Lol.
  6. I haven’t met the love of my life, but I’m hopeful she’s out there and I can’t wait to meet her.
  7. This wasn’t quite true for me when I was “bicurious.” I was more... scared.
  8. My heart goes out to you. I was married as well when these feelings hit. My condolences re: your hubby. I know that urge all too well (most of us do). Once you get that thirst for a woman, quenched... so hard to put it away again. Are you still in marriage counseling?
  9. I freaked out because the feelings made me uncomfortable, but I had already expressed interest in the person. I've been freaked out on, too. Mainly by bi-curious women but it had already gotten to the expression of interest phase. They've freaked out in various forms, ghosting, starting fights (I did this, as well), nitpicking, back-and-forth push-and-pull dynamics. We never know what someone else is going through or where there head is at. My journey from a straight woman to LGBT started out with my dental hygienist inappropriately touching me during an exam, she and I became friends and it ended horribly, with nothing ever coming from it. All we can control is ourselves and that's why I only pursue when the person makes it clear that they are romantically interested and even then, it hasn't always ended well. I don't invest time in women who aren't sure about their sexuality. I've learned the hard way about that and honestly, it saves so much energy that I no longer have the patience to give away freely. Now that I"m a few years into this, I've seen women run the gamut. Some like the attention and prey on it, some are just being "the way they are," and some enjoy the flirting, but don't want anything physical with a woman and consider themselves straight. At a strip club, I once saw a woman grab a stripper indecently and then proclaim she couldn't have done anything wrong because she's straight and the strip club is for "fun." Humans are motivated to do all sorts of things for their own reasons. Rarely do we understand them, but to the person, they make perfect sense.
  10. Sometimes they freak out. I did. Lol. Big time, although not in that way. It's truly best to keep work and personal separate for these reasons.
  11. I’ll post upcoming meet-ups (the larger ones) to see if anyone is interested in joining. I’ve never been to this one, but it gets great reviews and nearly 80 ladies will be in attendance. Orange County area.
  12. Yes. A longtime friend straight up asked me if she could watch me have sex with another woman. She said she just wanted to watch and that she wouldn't be involved or even pleasure herself. I gave her a very firm 'no." I don't mind sexual advances, I mean, we all have them, but it's when they don't accept the answer of "no" the first time, do I start to get aggravated. Don't make me repeatedly tell you that I'm not into it, if I've already told you once. Later, this same friend and I had a complete falling out. I walked into her office, which she shares w/another male (gay) friend and he handed me his phone and said, "What do you think?" It was a woman with her legs spread open, pussy visible, and bra pulled down and breasts spilling out. I was a little confused and asked him, "Who is this?" and he pointed to my friend, right next to him. The look on her face screamed to me that this was a set-up. I politely handed the phone back and we started to talk about how she wanted boob implants. When I left, the guy came running out after me and said, "Why are you leaving so soon? Are you interested?" The next day, he Facebook messages me and said if I'd like to see more. I read it, didn't reply. The following day, he asks me to call the office so they can talk about how they were joking. I didn't call. The next week, both unfriended me. Wayyyyy too much drama. And on top of that, I already said no.
  13. Killing Eve. The female character who plays the assassin totally wants to bang Sandra Oh's, Eve. And now, so do I. Ugh.
  14. When I was married and also considered myself bisexual, I was only out to my ex-hubby. There really wasn't a way to segue that into a general conversation unless you're talking about sexuality. "What's your favorite food?" "Women. On the side. Because I"m married." LOL. Now that I've transitioned to being gay, obviously, I don't run into that problem. And I only bring up my sexuality when someone assumes I'm straight. Which is most of the time.