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Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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caliwoman last won the day on March 5

caliwoman had the most liked content!

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586 Excellent

About caliwoman

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  • Music
    Anything and everything except 75% of country
  • Location
    Palm Springs, California
  • Interests
    Any and everything.
  • Signature Fragrance
  • Favourite Book
    She's Come Undone
  • Favourite TV Show
    Game of Thrones, Dexter, Ray Donovan, Wings
  • Favourite Film
    No Country for Old Men, Six Degrees of Separation, When Harry Met Sally, Postcards from the Edge

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  1. caliwoman

    What Was The Last Pic You Took With Your Phone?

    Grrrr. It won’t let me upload the pic via URL :(
  2. @CallistoDidNotWin Makes sense to me, as that was my experience as well. In addition, I was raised in a household where if I spoke up or showed self-confidence, my dad would question me: Why are you trying to be like a man? When I did something wrong (as a kid), my dad would chastise me and make me lead the family as a way of punishment. For example, if I did something that upset him and we were in a mall, I’d have to lead the family back out to the car so everyone else would know how stupid I was acting. “To lead” was always a punishment in some way. That kinda thing. Things of that nature went on when I was growing up.
  3. caliwoman

    Dating Married Women

    No, as a single woman I wouldn’t entertain a married woman. I used to, for sure. For me, in the experiences I’ve had, the unleveled playing field has always screwed it up. Although I’m only looking for something casual at the moment, I only seek out other single women.
  4. About a year ago, I was telling my friend about a fantasy I had. I wanted to visit a strip club and pick up a woman there, maybe even hooking up with her in the restroom. That same day, went to the strip club and sat at the bar. Minutes later, a hot chick sits next to me. A little after that, she’s eye-fucking me to the point that the person I went with told me to invite her to the restroom or out to the car with me. I couldn’t do it and flaked. She was totally down; I’ve never had a woman be that obvious before. Ugh.
  5. caliwoman

    New and a Biwife

    Hi Shell! I see couples on Tinder looking for girlfriends. Have you tried there? I’ve also seen a few on Bumble. Or even if you wanted to post for yourself (and not w/your hubby). Other than that, Her and POF are also options, along with bisexual meet-up groups.
  6. caliwoman

    Twin Flames/soul Catalyst

    Need advice: can’t get away from the signs. I’m trying to put this situation behind me. I’m over being “in it.” But the damn signs won’t let me go. Yesterday, I did such a great job staying away from looking for signs and focused on work. Was so proud of myself! I even gave my number out to a woman, asking her out on a date. Guess when she texts me back (for the first time)? 5:25. My twin’s b-day. Ugh! And it happens like this when I try and pull away. I get the most “in your face” signs when I try and leave. Has anyone gotten past this stage? Is it just not time for the signs to go away? Grrrrrrrr!!
  7. I almost wonder if the OP is a dude. Just the vibe/energy I get from the post- and I’ve never wondered that b4 in the years I’ve been on ShyBi. My mistake if you’re a woman, but with the newness of your account and the way the question was phrased- it’s off-putting to me.
  8. I sometimes can get behind a small nose piercing, but anything else is usually too much for me.
  9. caliwoman


    Tinder. Her. Pof. Bumble. Heck, even a meet-up for bi women. I am hoping they bring the Craigslist personals back, now with the re-emergence net neutrality talk.
  10. Why did she ask you to find them a therapist? She doesn’t seem to have the best boundaries. I’d understand if she wanted your input on a modality, perhaps, but that would apply more to individual therapy and not (so much) couples counseling.
  11. As a therapist would say when you tell them about someone else, “I can’t diagnose them because they aren’t here; however, we can discuss your feelings on the matter.” 1. If a woman is staying in a controlling marriage (or any dysfunctional marriage), nothing you can do or say will change that. She has her reasons and when she’s ready to confront that (if ever), she will in her own time. I was in that situation myself. 2. Boundaries. I think you’re jumping over them in this particular situation, especially when it comes to looking for a therapist for them. I wouldn’t like it either if l were her husband. I’d suggest you examine your own feelings on this and respect the boundaries of their relationship. There are controlling marriages that apply to all types of situations. I know women who stay in physically and emotionally abusive marriages, regardless of how they identify (sexually). It’s awful to watch, but as I’ve stated above, you can’t tend to the situation for them. You can be a support system, listen and love unconditionally, but you cannot insert yourself or solve their issues. Are you certain your feelings are strictly platonic? To answer the other part of your question, yes, I was married to a man who said he was okay with it, only to waver later on. But, there were insecurity issues before then and it wasn’t completely a shock. When I was trying to stifle my feelings, nothing I could do would assuage him and the marriage spiraled downward. When I talk to LGBT women, I’m surprised when they ask me how I was so “brave” to tell my ex-husband and eventually leave him. There is an inference of strength they believe I had. It wasn’t strength, courage, or bravery- it was that I knew, intuitively, that I had to tell him and that desire outweighed everything else (such as, “how Is he going to take it”). While I made mistakes about how I went about it (and have regrets), everything turned out the way it was meant to.
  12. Yesterday. Amateur video of a woman getting fucked in the ass, moaning/screaming, then squirting. I was still throbbing minutes after I came. Ugh!
  13. So many posts asking for advice, thought it would be beneficial to compile a list of regrets you MIGHT have when it comes to the experience of coming out to your hubby (or in my case, ex). If “regret” is not the term for you, then “what would you have done differently?” As a disclaimer, these are obviously specific to me. MOST PROBABLY WON’T RESONATE. As with all other advice here, don’t take it as concrete evidence and instead, filter it through yourself and listen to your own intuition (you’ll never go wrong with that). With that being said, here it goes: 1. TELLING HIM TOO SOON. I freaked out in general. Spilled the beans way too soon. 2. TOLD HIM TOO MUCH. Every therapist I had advised me that- although I considered him my best friend- it wasn’t his job to listen like a “female friend.” Our marriage was too enmeshed and it’s a big regret I have, divulging too much. 3. MANIPULATING HIM TO GET WHAT I WANT. I wanted him to be okay with me being physical with a woman (on the side). I was under the guise that if he was “secure enough” he would accept me being with another woman physically. Now, after many conversations, I can understand he simply wanted a wife who only wanted to be with him (and there’s nothing wrong or “insecure” about that- I wouldn’t want my future GF to be w/anyone else either). At the time, I wanted what I wanted. 4. NOT DOING ENOUGH HOMEWORK ON OUR SEX THERAPIST. She was horrible and completely freaked us both out. 5. ALLOWING MY HUSBAND TO BE TOO INVOLVED. On my first date with a woman (which was out of town), he was adamant that he go (he stayed in the hotel room). I allowed it out of pressure. 6. STRADDLING THE FENCE FOR TOO LONG. After my first time with a woman, it was apparent it wasn’t just physical. It was emotional, but I still couldn’t pull the trigger and end the marriage (although he wanted to work on it if I agreed to not act on my feelings again). I held on way too long, trying to figure out a way to get the best of both worlds. In the end, wasn’t fair to either one of us 7. ASKED HIM FOR AN OPEN MARRIAGE, MULTIPLE TIMES. This probably blends in with the above, but when he gave me a firm “no,” I should have respected that. In the end, we’re human. We all do the best we can, but those are my biggest regrets. IF you have any regrets or “would have done things differently,” please share.
  14. It’s been nearly two years without the physical contact of a woman. Oyy. So at this point, I’m beyond the flirty back and forth “is she or isn’t she.” I will approach at a bar or send a drink over. I don’t have time for anything else! Lol
  15. I guess that’s my question as well. Are you wanting to tell explore with a woman? Make him aware of your feels? Personally, the only guilt I have now is how I handled the situation. At the time, it was so very scary and difficult. I did the best I could- we all do. There are so many variables to this situation. And you can never go wrong with following your own intuition.