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justonekiss last won the day on July 22 2016

justonekiss had the most liked content!

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About justonekiss

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    French Kisser

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  • Music
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    Writing, Reading, Music, and casual talk.
  • Signature Fragrance
    Variations of coconut
  • Favourite Book
    Too many to choose from

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  1. I am so sorry this has not improved. :( It is very inconsiderate on her part and makes it really hard to continue being friends. You can ask her whatever you want, but I would say be really sure you are ready for the answer.
  2. justonekiss

    tragic first..

    :( I'm sorry you are going through this. I would say that maybe she will have to find a new living situation because it isn't okay for her to invade upon your personal pain so much anymore. Either her consideration returns or she has to get out of your space so you can heal.
  3. justonekiss

    Ladies, Your thoughts

    That is scary. I think I would share your words. Have a talk and let him know why this is not okay.
  4. justonekiss

    I'm out; it helps; but what has changed?

    This honestly just made me cry. Thank you so much for the kind words and beautiful considerations that I can actually do. I mean it. Thank you. <3
  5. justonekiss

    I'm out; it helps; but what has changed?

    I am learning to be patient and loving towards myself for the first time in my life.
  6. justonekiss

    I'm out; it helps; but what has changed?

    Thank you, @NooBi I am happy to have him. I am working as slow as possible and appreciate his patience more than he'll ever understand.
  7. justonekiss

    I'm out; it helps; but what has changed?

    Thank you so much! I am trying to do both.
  8. It's been months since my last entry, and I've honestly missed being brutally honest on here. So much has happened, almost all of it a mess. My friend, who I fell hard for, told me to pursue relationships because she saw me as just a friend. Still, she acted weird every single time I started talking to someone, male or female. I tried to maintain, and I accepted that I probably wouldn't be with anyone. I was accepting that I had come out as bisexual, people were generally accepting, and I continued to work hard in therapy. While doing some activities completely alone, I met someone. A beautiful man who wanted nothing more than to make me happy, to show me that I could be vulnerable, that not everything had to be scary, He asked me to just give him a chance, and I said we would get nowhere without complete honesty. With nothing to lose, I told him everything. Everything that hurt, everything I had been through, every reason I could not possibly be a good girlfriend. Most of all, I bit the bullet and told him that I was bisexual. I had never told a potential partner this, and he had reasonable questions. How many women had I been with? Did I try to be with women? If we have a real future together, am I ever going to regret not being with a woman, because he wants 100% commitment? I answered every question honestly, including assuring him that if I was with ANYONE I would want 100% commitment too. He was looking to settle down, plan for a family, and it felt so natural. We've now been together almost six months, The painful part comes in about three months ago when my friend, my crush, decided that I was not there for her enough. She felt uncomfortable with my relationships elsewhere; she said I was forgetting her and leaving her behind. Instead of talking to her about my pains, I shared everything with my boyfriend. Then, she observed me with a group of friends - having a good time - and said she had lost me. I tried to explain; we argued, screaming and crying, for hours with no resolution. I finally said, "I can't do this anymore. I need you to realize you are wrong on this one. It isn't fair what you're doing." She said I needed to do the exact same thing. I concluded, "I have to let you go." We have not talked since. I had already paid for an expensive vacation which I took on my own, and it was so weird to know that she and I will never talk again. I explained to my boyfriend that ALL of this was complicated; he took the embarrassing details far better than I would've had the roles been reversed. I hate that I feel like I ruined everything with that friend by admitting the truth; however, I am so lucky. I have met the absolute love of my life. He has shown me so much peace and acceptance that I've fallen so deep in love. It worked out for the best, and I'm glad I'm out. It is just that now I have completely new fears. This man wants to be married, to have kids, and grow old together. I am terrified to be intimate again, especially since I've only been with one person - a violent, abusive man. I am terrified I will be a terrible wife, terrible mother. But I want this life...I want to be with him. I don't want to be afraid anymore. If I made it through the pain of losing a woman who I was sure would always be in my life, I know I can face these new fears. Wish me luck!