Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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TBD78 last won the day on April 5 2017

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  1. Just saw it, I enjoyed it - felt the dynamic between the actresses was strong and quite relatable. Slightly unsettled with the ending - left a few questions open. Surprised with the two leading Rachel’s this movie didn’t have a bigger release...but i guess religion and sexuality are still taboo to mainstream movie goers.
  2. If you can, find someone who is in a similar position as yourself, a married mom with other priorities (ie Work). Someone who can balance life and you in a way that assures you when life takes time away from you. It’s a like finding a diamond in the rough if ur lucky enough to find the right fit.
  3. yay!! so happy for you!! enjoy it.
  4. Defintely don’t want to jack this discussion - and I respect your reaction to my post. I missed some detail that made my post very general - so i think your points are valid. Men can be dopes ✔️, my H couldn’t be a mind reader ✔️ (100%) What i failed to articulate was that once i realized what it was that began to fall short (beyond the physical needs) with my H and asked for those things... he didnt “get it” as his interpretation and delivery of what i asked for was different than what I needed and asked for. Led me down a path of trying to compartmentalize what can be achieved and accepting of what cannot in a human being. The outcome becomes what u and your spouse make of it. Tying this babble back to @Curious Jane - if u can sort through emotion and jealousy with H and establish boundaries - u can perhaps set his mind at ease - but that is an action speaks louder than words phenomenon and happens over time following good dialogue. My advice - put a lot of thought into what u want and need and don’t be afraid to ask for it and try not to settle if it doesn’t feel right.
  5. Hey @Curious Jane ive been down this path with my husband too. I had a green light but he needed detail and i couldn’t offer detail. I tried to offer an open-marriage with rules of be safe/discrete and considerate, but that didn’t fly. The conversation went from a fun, safe space to a point of contention (over time)...Jealously reared it’s ugly head and rightfully so bc what i thought was merely a physical attraction with someone i already had a comfort level and connection with (a female bestie of mine) turned out to offer me so much more (then physical). my mind was blown at the basic needs i was not getting fulfilled emotionally, romantically in addition to physically. i didn’t even know i had or was missing these needs until they started to be fulfilled. This reality was really hard to navigate and sadly for me resulted in mostly a conversation ender. While he was eager and pushing it in the beginning bc he wanted me to have the experience and he looked forward to hearing about it, I no longer felt “safe” discussing the topic. if i am being honest, this definitely opened my eyes and created a wedge in my marriage and taught me about that the fear of falling for someone else can be reality, transparency is really hard in these dynamics and maintaining my own personal balance is key to my navigation. Good luck, if u can, keep talking. if there was already a crack in the foundation between u and H prior to this- be mindful of ur inner feelings and be aware when u feel things start to change in both your relationship and mind.
  6. yah i find someone who “gets you” inside and out, who helps you achieve without pushing, lets you decide for yourself without judgement, helps slow & relax the spinning mind with ease, can love and balance you, can turn weaknesses or anxieties into more tolerable outcomes by just knowing exactly what to say or do and someone who adorably challenges you to be a better version of yourself is pretty darn rad... so yah, i get what your saying @NoOne- i like this thread! @BiTriMama i love getting knocked off my game in the best possible way, super sexy and adds to the intensity of the relationship.
  7. After reading a very disturbing article about the lead singer of Tool - i switch the channel or skip a song by them - they will never have my support.
  8. all of this resonates and took me two years to be settled with it. i am married and this discovery on my part has helped to explain and make sense of so much in hindsight. On paper I created the perfect life (based on society norms and what was expected of me)....& then she came along (as if she fell out of the sky and into my life at the most conflicted and vulnerable time) and unaware of it, challenged everything i was “taught to want”... and in a way i guess i did the same for her. Feels good to see responses above and know that there are so many in the same place, with the same clarity and preferences.
  9. Dang.... pretty spot on from my perspective...
  10. Never tried it but has suddenly become top of the list of things I want to experience! If you asked me even a year ago, I would have said no thanks....but now...sign me up -I think exploring both roles could be super hot.
  11. Run @caliwoman Run, you do not need wishy washy out of the gate - too many good people out there to waste time wth someone so oblivious to your feelings or common courtesy when in a get to know u phase.
  12. Welcome!
  13. I agree with @BiTriMama and this is how i discovered something beautiful with my best friend... i was honest and threw my most vulnerable self out there and i consider myself to be a very lucky girl
  14. Wow @Curious Jane that’s a hell of a first experience!!!! Cheers to more wonderful experiences!!
  15. Hand raised. Only my Shy friends know about my secret situation.