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About LizzySizzles

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    Big Tease
  • Birthday May 27

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  • Music
    Incubus, Ani DiFranco, Broadway, Christmas music, Billy Joel, Eric Clapton, Cake, Sublime, Eminem
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  • Signature Fragrance
    Peppermint oil
  • Favourite Book
    Any Harry Potter
  • Favourite TV Show
    The Office
  • Favourite Film
    A Knights Tale

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  1. This afternoon I had an appointment with the Dr, who will actually be the one to perform my surgery. Last time this cyst grew, it was in my right ovary. The tech that did my ultra sound told me it looked like it was in my right ovary, which makes sense. Well it's not, it's in my left ovary. Which means now we can only really suspect what it is until we get in there to take it out, although it looks like it's probably another dermoid/teratoma. She (the Dr) said because of the fact that that it's in my other ovary than before, and my age (34) she's only slightly more concerned about it. The chance of re-occurrence in the opposite ovary, and in someone over 25, is very small. Like 1%. So some blood work was ordered to make sure that there aren't any indicators in my blood that she needs to schedule an oncologist in the operating room with her. The bad news is that because of it's size, I will have to be cut open again. It's too large to safely remove any other way. She and I agreed that taking the entire ovary, dermoid and all, is the best route and she's okay with that because my other ovary is healthy and functioning just fine. We also discussed and agreed on taking my tubes.She indicated there is a lot of evidence that ovarian cancer sometimes starts in the fallopian tubes, and since she's leaving me an ovary, removing my tubes is a good preventative option. We are done having children, which is one of the reasons I made it a point to have my husband with me at this appointment, so he could also help convince the Dr that we were in complete agreement about not having any more children. I feel pretty relieved that she agreed to take the ovary whole instead of cutting it open and trying to save it, and she seemed a little relieved that I didn't have a problem with the other ovary staying in. It will be major surgery, she said to expect 6 - 8 weeks for recovery. The only real plus side of that I can think of is that now I won't need to figure out childcare for my son for a large portion of this summer! He's old enough that he's capable of helping me in the recovery process,so it will prevent my husband from having to take as much time off to help in the beginning. I feel like I've done my fair share of complaining about my neighbors, but things have gotten out of hand and the chief of police has gotten involved. This guy is threatening, his girlfriend is aggressive. I've seen him be violent and to be frank, I'm terrified of him. She's screamed at me (fuck you bitch, fuck you) from her house, which is about 10 feet from mine, when she saw me sitting at my dining room table once, doing homework with my 8 year old. I can barely stand the idea of being outside in my own yard or driveway and am literally only leaving my house when my husband forces me to, other than to go to work. I'm feeling trapped in my own home and it sucks,it sucks worse than almost anything I could have ever imagined. We've discussed it and as soon as we can we are putting the house up for sale. Not just because of this situation, but this is making us realize how important it is to NOT have to share our driveway with anyone. It's a huge nuisance and we've been lucky the first 12 years here that we didn't have issues before. I'm slowly shutting down. I've started pretty much ignoring everyone and everything, I just want to sleep. All the time.Which I know is a dangerous sign of a depression headed my way and I keep thinking if something would just give I could fight it off. But right now, I've thrown in the towel. Between these pricks next door and the idea of surgery, again, I'm not up to it. I asked my dr a few weeks ago for something for anxiety and he obliged. I've used it extremely sparingly and it's helped, but I'm afraid to get addicted so I won't use it even daily. I am so tired.Just tired of it all, all the time. Bigger and better things will surely come my way, eventually, but for now I just want to bitch about it. I'm a good person. Hard worker. Loving, caring individual. Kind and compassionate, trying my hardest not to raise an asshole. Contributing member to society. But for the next few months I think even being a member of society is asking too much, I plan on just existing. And by next year this time, when I'm back to normal, I'll just remember this as a dark time I don't talk about.
  2. So my PCP called me this morning with the MRI results and it is definitely just a mass or cyst. No cancer and no infection. So I'm still waiting for a call from the OB who I will need to schedule surgery with. Next I get to wait for surgery. I am not looking forward to surgery. I'm scared to be put under to be perfectly honest. I know that it's done every day and lots of people go through it just fine, but I'm scared. I've even had 4 surgeries in my life, 3 of which I've had to be put under for. And I hate it, it terrifies me. The mass is 3.34" by 4.1" by 5.6' (approximately). The average grapefruit is about 4 inches in diameter. So this would explain a lot of the symptoms I've been having for a long time now. Although the one thing every dr or tech I've seen about it up until now seems to think the weight loss shouldn't be a side effect of it. But there has been a pretty major weight loss, considering I'm not trying. Looks like more waiting on the agenda.
  3. I'm doing the same and we are stronger than anything depression throws at us. Every time I feel defeated by my depression, I find some new mental muscle somewhere to flex that reminds me that I am, and will always be, stronger than it. Good for you and you got this!
  4. I once heard the saying "Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins" and it helped me stop trying so hard to make them so even. I mean, I still try but I careless if they are uneven than I do abut over plucking.
  5. I also won't empty pockets before I do laundry and that one he learned the hard way. I washed his wallet three times before he started remembering to check before throwing his clothes down stairs. And now he warns the 9 year old "Don't leave it in your pocket or it'll get washed!"
  6. I just won't go out of my way to get his shit done anymore. If you want your clothes washed, they need to make it down the laundry chute. I don't care if I step over your dirty jeans to get to the laundry room, if they are not where they should be they won't get washed. But I think I got lucky, my husband is the one who is much neater than I am. I just don't mind a mess as much as he does,but he cleans up after himself pretty well. Even with a husband and a 9 year old in the house I don't have to ever put the toilet seat down, unless someone else has been in my house. The ONE thing he does lately thats driving me up the wall is leaving pop cans on the counter. He's the only one in the house who drinks pop so I know they aren't any one elses.And he leaves them sitting on the counter RIGHT ABOVE the cupboard where the container for them is. BY the time I get home sometimes there are 2 or 3 cans sitting there,just INCHES away from where they go. I think I'm going to start lining them up on the hood of his truck and see how he like that.
  7. Ooh fun!! I'm glad he'll watch, that way at least he's involved a little. I hope it turns out as amazing as it sounds!
  8. So he can't decide if he wants to, but do you get to participate either way? ;)
  9. I am not the person that generally takes pharmaceuticals unless completely necessary. I use oils a lot and will try many homeopathic remedies before resorting to seeing a dr (in most cases) or even an over the counter medicine. I know that surgery is happening one way or the other, but depending on what type I may be able to get away with no pain pills at all, which I hate taking. Even a Motrin 800 will make my body feel jacked up for awhile, even if it does provide relief. Thanks for your experience and luck
  10. I didn't realize HRT could be a short term thing....I thought it was a pretty final thing. Like once you started you'd need to continue indefinitely.
  11. This is why I want to keep one of my ovaries. I have no interest in HRT unless absolutely necessary and I can avoid it longer by keeping my healthy ovary.
  12. Hungry the horror stories don't scare me. The truth is the truth and we must know it all if we are to make well informed decisions. I don't mind the idea of not being able to have any more children. My husband,son, and I all have had health scares and turned out just fine. That definitely made us think twice about having more kids. If I changed my mind down the road, I'd adopt. I did enjoy being pregnant, but my mother had killed herself the year before and my PTSD just got the best of me. I feel like I'm a much healthier person (physically and mentally), and will remain that way for my family if I choose not to have more children. I had to make peace with the idea of not being able to have kids at all before the first surgery, now I have one and he's healthy and amazing. I'm content.
  13. There's no medical reason for me to have my uterus removed, but my periods are awful and I would happily give it up for those to be done with. But not if I have to lose both ovaries. I don't want HRT if I can avoid it. I suppose my periods being so bad may not be an issue when I have the cyst removed.That hadn't occurred to me.... Hungry, I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through!!
  14. I am going to need to have surgery soon and think I may have an opportunity to have a hysterectomy in the process, or I'm at least very heavily leaning towards asking my Dr about it. I'd like to know if anyone can give me any advice, or personal experience stories? I'm fairly sure they will be taking one of my ovaries with this surgery, but I'd like to ask about having my uterus removed at the same time. The way I understand it is if I leave the one ovary, even if they remove everything else, it will still produce enough estrogen to most likely prevent me from going into menopause immediately. It's still going to happen earlier without two ovaries, but by leaving one in I wouldn't have to start hormones right away. Anyone have any experience with this? Suggestions on how to ask the dr to remove the uterus? Anyone have only one ovary after surgery that can tell me what they went through?
  15. Since my Dr's appointment on Tuesday I've had a couple things done that have kept me busy, besides work. The day of my appointment I was sent in for an ultrasound, which they did an external and internal. The results of that prompted my primary care physician to order me an MRI and that was done just today, I got home about an hour ago. Everyone seems to be pushing getting things done quickly, which makes me think this cyst must be very large. I'm not too concerned about cancer, I honestly thought the dr ruled it out with the ultrasound but apparently not, since I was given contrast at my MRI today and that is to see cancer, so if he had cleared it through the ultrasound the contrast wouldn't have been necessary. After the MRI was done I was told by the tech that she was going to mark the results urgent and that I should expect a call from either my PCP or the OB/Surgeon I'm being sent to. Here's what I do know. A dermoid cyst grew inside my right ovary and I had it removed 10 years ago. a dermoid cyst is... Dermoid cyst of the ovary : A bizarre tumor, usually benign, in the ovary that typically contains a diversity of tissues including hair, teeth, bone, thyroid, etc. A dermoid cyst develops from a totipotential germ cell (a primary oocyte) that is retained within the egg sac (ovary). Being totipotential, that cell can give rise to all orders of cells necessary to form mature tissues and often recognizable structures such as hair, bone and sebaceous (oily) material, neural tissue and teeth. 10 years ago when I had it removed they didn't know what they were going in for, we knew there was an issue because a laparoscopy was done and a mass was seen,but unidentifiable. The Dr said an exploratory laparotomy was necessary and he would find out what was going on in surgery. So I had the procedure and it turned out that he removed a large dermoid from inside my right ovary, stitched me up and sent me on my way. They worked to keep my ovary because I was 24, had just gotten married, and had no kids. We wanted kids and with the go ahead from my Dr, we started trying 3 months after the surgery and within 3 months I was pregnant. But I don't think the right ovary contributed to that, I don't believe it started working again for years after I had my son and quit breastfeeding, because after my periods started again they were 60 day cycles, but within the last couple years they have switched to sometimes shorter than 28 day cycles. This makes me think my right ovary is working again. But really none of that matters. I gave birth 9 years ago and I think both my ovaries work now. So what is happening, that I can tell so far, is that the dermoid cyst is back. And apparently it has had 10 years to grow unchecked and is large, there is a very noticeable fist sized lump that protrudes and thats just what I can see. The ultrasound tech mentioned that the mass was definitely on my right side and I asked how could that be if all my pain is on my left? She said the growth is coming off of the right ovary and growing towards the left side, shoving all my organs over where they don't belong and squished together. It's no wonder I'm in constant discomfort and sometimes pain. So here I sit, waiting for the call about to consult with someone about surgery. Here's what;s going on in my mind. If they are going to have to go back in to remove the cyst,and I've been married for 11 years and have a child,I feel like I'm done with the baby maker stuff and I want them to remove the right ovary. Just the right one though, because I've not had an issue with my left and if they take both I will either go through menopause at 35,or have to go on hormones, which is a risk in my family. My sister tried birth control and ended up with blood clots in her lungs. I'm also going to request they take my uterus. I'm a little more nervous that I'll have to really talk them into this one though, because it makes things more final. I could certainly still have children with only one ovary, but not without the uterus. I just want it all over with.