LizzySizzles

Eyes still closed, I woke up with a deep breath and a quiet moan, while my body thrust my hips up in a grounding motion in search of whatever pleasure that had woken me. It only took me seconds to realize what was going on. I opened my eyes and looked down and saw Cassie, laying on her stomach with her face in between my legs, tongue gently but surely licking big circles over my vulva. She circled her tongue slowly and firmly from one labia, down to my vagina, up the other labia and then put a little extra pressure on my clit before flicking her tongue on it and starting the next circle. I watched her for a minute,momentarily distracted by the way her ass was moving up and down while she worked me, and I could feel how wet I was getting when I made eye contact with her and she smiled and lifted her head, "Good morning" she whispered quickly, then buried her face again. I smiled and let my head fall back on the pillow as I lifted my hips slightly and ground into her face a little more aggressively. I loved the way I could feel her tongue making long, hard strokes on my lips. I spent a few minutes laying there enjoying the feeling, feeling the wetness of my body as she licked and kissed the inside of my thighs, then brought one hand up and used two fingers to gently begin to stroke my lips with her thumb, letting her fingers graze my vagina while doing so. She began to concentrate on licking and kissing my clit, while working her fingers less on my lips and more inside me, slowly at first then with more speed and pressure as I moaned loader with each stroke of her fingers inside me. I thrust myself towards her hand over and over, feeling her fingers exploring me inside, feeling her sucking on my swollen, throbbing clit. I felt my legs turn to jelly as my body shook with orgasm. I felt Cassie run her face all over my inner thighs, leaving kisses all over my pussy lips, my inner thighs, my clit, my stomach, and my hips. Her hands eagerly explored the rest of my body, as she tucked her legs under herself and grabbed my ass cheeks, then pulled me down so that I was laying with my lap on her, she was on her knees, but my back still on the mattress. She left me there for a minute while she explored my breasts, gently rolling my nipples with her fingers, kissing my arms and chest, cupping my breasts and rubbing her face in them, running her tongue over my nipples, which were standing at firm attention. She then scooted her knees quickly out from under herself and I fell all the way on my back on the mattress. She let her hands trail down my body, pinching one of my nipples on the way down, and then slowly climbed on top of me, straddling my hips. While she licked and kissed my nipples and fondled my breasts, she ground her pelvis into mine then moved up to lick on my collar bone, leaving perfectly wet kisses on my neck, and whispered into my ear, "I'm so glad we decided to take a weekend away together. I laid there for at least 15 minutes and watched you sleep naked before I couldn't resist anymore,and I had to eat you awake". I kissed her deeply and let my tongue explore the taste of hers while my hands felt all over her body, raking her back a little as I reached into her hair and pulled her head down until her ear was right next to my mouth. I whispered back to her, "Me too, this has been an amazing time so far. Now it's your turn", and here I tugged on her hair a little bit, "now climb onto my face.". She sucked in her breath quickly and moaned, and I felt her body grind against mine as she began to lift her legs to put herself in a position to let me taste her. She straddled my face, with her legs on my shoulders and her thighs resting on my cheeks, as she smiled and leaned in, ready for me to taste her. I looked up at her and smiled as I closed my mouth over her lips and moaned, thinking how much I couldn't wait until i could surprise her tomorrow morning.

When the weather is nice so the gardens can bloom. I'd think by June it should be good to go!

I found myself stalking her facebook friends list and finding the girl she had the threesome with and I instantly started to feel upset. Even more so when I see her commenting on her stuff. All perfectly normal, acceptable behavior, but it's clearly invoking emotions in me that I have no right to have. I don't think even talking to her and telling her that I still want to be friend is a good idea, we tried that and now I know I want more. This sucks. I wish my stupid heart didn't need to go get all fucking butthurt about her stupid sex life. It doesn't have anything to do with me. Probably why it's bothering me so much.

I don't think I was looking for advice, somewhere safe to vent was more likely. My head is getting all fucked up. I feel like I should say we can't be friends, even though I don't want that. But I don't think we can be just friends without my heart being hurt all the time. And she acts like she doesn't want to be more than friends most of the time, even though occasionally something leaves her mouth that makes me wonder if she also wants me to be more. I just need to talk to her, find out once and for all what the fuck we are even trying to do here. If we are going to be just friends, I just need to know. Maybe that will let me set my mind right and I can proceed accordingly, without losing her completely. I'm pretty scared to bring it up though. She's not really the "Let's talk about it" type.

Awhile back, sometime near October 2017, I entered into a...thing with a girl I worked with. She made it very clear she was bi and proceeded to heavily pursue me. The fact that I was married did not bother her, nor did the fact that I only suspected I was bi and had never had an encounter with another woman before. Many conversations later between me and her, me and my husband, and me and myself and things happened. I was given the go ahead from him to engage sexually with her. Things progressed, she joined my husband and I in the bedroom, but she only did so to include him so that she could still be with me, and told me so. I didn't mind, he didn't mind, she didn't mind. It was...really great actually. As most good things come to an end, we ended up "breaking up" or lack of a better term and didn't speak for some time, like almost a year. I spent a lot of time over that year thinking about her, sometimes checking her facebook page, but never contacting her. Well this past February I decided to send her a friend request. About 6 months after the break up she had sent me one and I ignored it for a few weeks and she eventually rescinded the request. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if she did the same to my request and it was what I was expecting to happen I think. Imagine my surprise when she accepted, I believe the next day if not the same day. And then immediately began commenting on some of my stuff, a clear sign that my request wasn't unwelcome. Over the next couple days we actually opened up to one another and had a chance to talk enough about what happened to determine that neither of us held any ill will or hard feelings towards each other. It was quite the relief for me to hear her say that. Also I had missed her tremendously. I enjoyed my time physically with her, of course, but I enjoyed everything else about my time with her too I love her confidence, her attitude, her sense of humor. I love the way she makes me not feel insecure, as I am incredibly anxious and my insecurities stop me from doing many things, but when I'm with her I don't feel insecurities as crushingly as I do on my own. Before things went bad we had spent so much time together, just hanging out, when we parted ways my life felt void of friends because I had given her so much of my time so often. Anyways, we began messaging and agreed on having lunch that week. She is now in a relationship and I'm very happy for her, but when her boyfriend found out who I was and that I had popped back into her life, he was (understandably) wary. My husband was also less than thrilled that I was seeing her again. Not that either one of our significant others didn't want it to happen, but they were both...hesitant. I know my husband knows she was more than a friend to me, sex aside. I understand completely where his hesitation came from. And she had told her boyfriend who I was, and that she had slept with my husband as well. They're relationship is relatively new (6 months) and he's concerned, rightfully so. We both made sure everyone was okay before we met and we were only having lunch, not getting wasted alone. No one had anything to worry about anyways. I was really looking forward to seeing her. I really had convinced myself that we were , and would only remain, just friends now. And I was not only fine with that, but looking forward to possibly being able to hang out (as friends only) again. Like I said, I enjoyed my time with her. Well....late the night before we were to meet for lunch she sent me a message. She has told me many times before how she is an emotional person, but I don't have that experience with her. I find her to be...very in control of her emotions compared to me. Mine take over and affect how I act, I am quick to rise, quick to anger, quick to cry. I'm working on it, trust me. But she has always struck me a very onward and upward type. Things happen and she just accepts them and moves on, seemingly without suffering or doubt. It's one of the things I admire about her, her stoicism. But when she messaged me, I was not getting that, I was getting a side of her I was not used to. She was doubtful about whether meeting for lunch was the right thing. If it was a good idea or not. I couldn't figure out why, we weren't on bad terms any longer and neither one of us were hiding anything from our partners. I wasn't asking for anything more than her time. But I told her of course if she didn't think it was a good idea then no big deal, we wouldn't meet. I emphasized I was just glad to have had an opportunity to reconnect and tell each other no hard feelings, because it had not ended well. Then some of the most emotional words I've ever heard from her came out and she spoke (Wrote?) aloud the fear of feelings. She actually said, "What if this is a bad idea? Maybe we shouldn't meet." I said I wasn't concerned but didn't want her to stress about it. What was the worst that could happen? I said I won't fall in love and as you to leave your boyfriend. You won't fall in love and ask me to leave my husband. And she said, "You're right I won't ask you to leave your husband". And I suddenly realized that I was not the only one holding onto some very emotional feelings. We did not really touch on the subject to much more that night, and we did agree it was okay to meet. We have since gotten close again, and have spent a lot of time together. Our partners have met and are okay with us hanging out, and so far that is all that has happened. And I'm starting to realize that is probably all that will happen...and I don't think I was honest with her when i said I wouldn't fall in love. As far as having some fun together goes....While my husband was willing to share me with her before, he certainly is not interested in letting another man touch me, and neither is her boyfriend willing to let another man touch her. I did mention to her that we would likely be able to arrange something that makes everyone happy and still get to be physical with one another, but we pocketed any mention of it quickly because that wasn't important, we were working on being friends and having our partners comfortable with it. I knew she wanted to have a threesome with him and another girl though. He had never had the experience and she wanted to show him a good time. So another ex of hers contacted her and they did end up having a threesome. Now at that point, I realized I might be in trouble. When she told me about it, she mentioned she hadn't been upfront with me about her plans the night that it had happened and I understand why not, besides the fact that it's not really my business anyways. It had to do with why and how things had unraveled the first time around. Then when I worked up the nerve to ask why she hadn't wanted to tell me, she said she cared about my feelings and didn't want to hurt them. I told her that her life and her relationship were her business and I would hope that if she chose not to tell me something it was because she didn't want to and not because she was afraid to hurt my feelings, that my feelings are not hers to worry about, she owes me nothing. But it made me realize that I...also care about her feelings, and mine were hurt. Not because of what she had done, after all we're not together or committed in any way, and some of me is just jealous that I didn't get to be the woman to please her again. But I feel..IDK. Passed over maybe? When she brought up any type of sexual encounter and I offered what I could, she chose something else. And of course she did, it was exactly what she wanted instead of a compromise. I keep having to remind myself I'm not upset that she had an encounter with this other girl. I'm...struggling to deal with my feelings about it because its making me realize I do have deep feelings for this girl, even after I told her it wouldn't happen. I have contemplated a hundred times in the last few days about just cutting it off, and that it would be better not to be friends at all, but strangers with memories. I'm afraid my heart is at risk here and it seems as though hers possibly is also. I'm so confused.

I spent a LOT of years letting my upbringing and society lie to me about sex. When you consider things from a perspective that the society you grow up in conditions you to see things a certain way, it's easy to see why your first thought was what it was. Paying for sex seems weird...but why? Sometimes I change my oil myself, because I can. Sometimes I ask my husband to do it, because he likes to keep me happy. But sometimes I pay a professional, because why the hell not? And no, I've never paid for sex but I can't say I never would. I'm certainly not morally or personally opposed to it, it's just not something that appeals to me or would be necessary at this point in my life. However...if there was a local place where I could go get a yoni massage....you never know.

I disagree. If you consider that sex work is just like any other work, and they are choosing to do it. That's not to say everyone had the best options to choose from (We've all worked jobs we hated), but if a person is offering sex for payment....in my opinion it's only demeaning if you make it that type of experience. If paying for a woman makes you treat any differently than you would anyone else, that would be demeaning. Just the act of choosing to pay someone for a service that they offer, that happens to be sex, itself doesn't seem demeaning to me.

She is in her early 20's and GAY AS FUCK (her words). lol She texted me the day before the King Princess concert and said, "I need something gay to wear to my gay concert!". I do like King Princess music, her voice has a calming effect on me.

My first time wasn't earth shattering, but I hadn't expected it to be. I did my very best not to expect anything, but to just be open to the experience. My first time was...sweet. Eyeopening. Sensual. Satisfying. But I don't remember laying there thinking my world had just gotten rocked sexually, I just felt satisfied. Content. To be fair though no first time sexual experience for me, with man or woman, is earth shattering. When you know what my buttons are to push, my favorite spots to kiss, how gentle to lick...when we've been psychical and intimate enough with one another to know what we want and how to ask for it, then the experience becomes phenomenal for me. That being said, her and I had some phenomenal, mind blowing (to me) sex, but certainly not our first time together (Which was my first experience, but not hers).

I have a friend who looks just like her and thats how I found out about her. Good music!!

I always love going to Casa Loma and wandering the gardens, but it's not the right time of the year for it.

Literally in a casual conversation with someone else today I randomly learned something else about her that she had lied to me about. We weren't even talking about her, the girl I was talking to didn't even know about us, but the girl mentioned her and casually dropped some information about something that I had been led to believe had went differently. Just....UGGGGGG!!!! This is why I don't let people in!!!

I call it a slow burn because it seems to be getting worse the longer it goes. And I've started to see even more that I chose not to before because I had rose colored glasses on. I'm just very upset with myself, I usually have better judgement.

I had undesirable side effects that I choose not to put myself through again. Personal choice, or principle I suppose.