Jump to content


Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

  • Country

    United Kingdom

lsroses last won the day on April 2

lsroses had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

1,257 Excellent

About lsroses

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Music
    Most genres.Whatever makes me feel good and suits my mood.
  • Location
    South East uk
  • Interests
    Nice walks, the beach, Art and design, architecture, films, cooking, music
  • Signature Fragrance
    YSL - mon paris, Hugo - deep red
  • Favourite TV Show
    Blindspot, Stranger things, Jessica Jones

Recent Profile Visitors

5,857 profile views
  1. Haha! Well who can blame her. Rachel is rather captivating.
  2. In contrast to the comments regarding women being used, I have to admit that I totally used the first man I slept with. I'd stuck to the 'no sex before marriage' rule for most of my life, until curiosity got the better of me. I was struggling with my sexuality, and wanted to confirm that I was, indeed, straight. So I hit on this guy in a class I was taking. I should add we were both on the same page, and he knew I wanted him for sex. It was very casual with no pressure and no commitment. I would NEVER have pursued anything if I thought he had feelings for me as it wouldn't have been fair. I really enjoyed kissing him but the sex was just boring and did nothing for me. If I had made a decision about my sexuality based on that experience, I would have been full on lesbian from that moment on! But I had no expectations other than ticking it off the list of rebellious things to do. I then met the man I later married, and the sex was amazing!! I understand that it's different for everyone, but for me, in order for it to be "earth shattering" I have to feel totally connected to that person, and that is a very rare thing. Even then, it might take a little time to figure out where and how your partner likes to be touched. If you get that perfect first time you're either wonderfully gifted, or incredibly lucky. To assume an experience with one woman/man applies to ALL women/men, just seems ridiculous and a little narrow minded.
  3. lsroses

    New to this and confused!

    There are so many people going through the same process as you and trying to figure it all out. I know that for me, once my daughter was older and I was finding myself again, socialising etc, that's when things started to change. There are many "late bloomers" who develop attractions and feelings for women later in life, and it's both exciting and terrifying. Suddenly, the life we've worked hard to build feels wrong somehow, or as if something's missing. And as much as we want to be happy with everything we have, there's no escaping that empty feeling. Does your husband know about any of this? About her? Maybe it's best to address any issues you have with him and your relationship first, and try not to let her cloud your judgement, though that's much easier said than done. There is no judgement here, that's what we love about this place! I had an emotional affair too which made me question everything. It all spiralled from there and I've had to make some difficult decisions. Life really is short, and I think sometimes, even if you think you're hurting someone, it can turn out to be the kindest and best decision for everyone.
  4. So glad I'm not alone. I have a little mum crush atm. I love seeing her on the school run but also dread it in case I make a bigger tit of myself. The struggle is real!
  5. The way you word that question makes it sound like we shouldn't have married a man if we were interested in women. Or made the wrong choice! I was aware on my attraction to women in my teens, but circumstances meant acting on it would never be an option, and I was ok with that at the time. Tbh, I was happy dating men. But then he crossed my path and I fell completely in love with him, and I knew he was "the one". I didn't tell him about my previous attraction to women because I didn't really believe it myself. I had firmly supressed it by that point. I had NO interest in anyone else but him. I figured those attractions I had were all part of growing up, and that every teenage girl goes through the same thing. It was 14 years later that I had that moment. Locking eyes for a second with a stranger and that bolt of electricity that ran through me, and that was it. Something took over from that moment on. It happened again and again and I had to accept that this was a big part of me that I had absolutely no control over and had hidden for too long. Yes, because this would be the best solution, right!? Well in my case, no. Even though he thought that's what he wanted, cos he got a kick out of it, he ended up thinking he couldn't compete. Yes, it improved our sex life for a short while, and I was honest about my feelings and desires. And then my honesty was too much, and my focus was elsewhere and insecurities and jealousy took over. I'm bisexual. It doesn't automatically mean I want multiple partners of each gender. Or that it's some fun, kinky thing that I can bring into my marriage bed. All that does is make it worse for me cos he isn't a woman! I can't handle it, and I don't want both. It's part of me, and not something I'm prepared to share with anyone, even my husband. I didn't want to hurt him, or be with anyone else. He was actually the one that pushed me to explore and I stupidly thought we could both handle it, which we couldn't, because I actually am monogamous, and I didn't handle it well. It's not as easy as you're implying and if I really could choose, it would be him and the picture perfect life we've built together. I wish those "electric" moments wouldn't happen, but they do and I hate it, because it's not what I chose, but I can't hide away from it either. I can only choose whether to act on it or not. I admire those who have strong values, and believe in monogamy, who are single or dating, who acknowledged their sexuality at a young age and had the freedom and the guts to be true to themselves. Some of us haven't been so lucky and are still trying to figure things out. Some have found a way to make it work that ensures everyone is happy, and no one should ever judge those people for how they choose to live their life, and ensure their happiness. A life of regrets would be so much worse!
  6. I'm sorry I veered off the subject matter slightly, so coming back to the originial question you asked @Rani......There is a quote from a poet that often flashes up on my Instagram feed that says "what we crave most is a best friend, that we can't keep our hands off of" which, for me, sums it up perfectly. My husband has always been emotionally detached and if you met his family you would understand why. So I agree with what @moonbynight and @HerbanOrla said, and I don't blame him for any of that, but I also believe that we have a choice in how we behave and being raised a certain way is no excuse for bad behaviour. He has become better over time, but still struggled, and what he lacked emotionally, I received from my close female friends, which I think is true for many women. Yes, it's probably more likely that a female relationship would work well because women are used to having that closeness and bond anyway. Despite the men bashing we sometimes hear, I have dated men in the past that were very caring and emotionally connected. It simply didn't work out. So I dont think we can form opinions on someone based on their gender. I think it's more about personality traits, and I could find those in anyone. Whether they're a man or a woman has never come into it. I'm simply more comfortable with my sexuality now I'm older, and finally accepted that my attraction to women goes beyond friendship. That has opened up a door thats unlikely to close anytime soon. Yes, women who have been in long term relationships will complain about their husbands. Over time, the excitement wears off, we settle down. Then kids come along and throw the whole dynamics off. We end up falling into a role that works around the kids. More likely it's the woman that stops working to raise the children and keep a home, and the father works hard to provide. It works for a short while, the couple get used to it, and then the mother returns to work, and still has the same role of raising the children and keeping the home, but now has less time do it as she's also at work all day. It's then become unbalanced, and she's drowning. When she does eventually have more time for herself, she starts to get her life back, and this either makes or breaks a relationship. Likelihood is that they have grown apart, she does her thing and he does his. Some, of course, are lucky enough to embrace their time together and start a new phase of their relationship. I would imagine this is very simular in same sex couples too, unless they really do have a 50/50 split on everything even if children come along, which seems unrealistic to me. We don't live in a dream world, there are no perfect people out there. Some people simply arent compatible. The main thing is communication, respect and kindness. And some really are lucky enough to find a best friend that they can't keep their hands off of! That, for me, is a great reason.
  7. I can understand how frustrating it can be to see comments pop up here, especially if you've experienced a deeply loving relationship with a woman and know how amazing it can be. But lets face facts, threesomes happen, a lot! People enjoy sex, a lot! People have a "type". Some women enjoy a sexual connection with men without forming an emotional connection too, but for some reason that is more acceptable. We don't see it here because this is for women only, obviously, but it does happen. For some, sex really is just sex, without all the complications of emotions and ties. It doesn't mean there is no love, respect or care for that person. Just set boundaries, the same way that you could form a romantic, platonic relationship without having sex. Mind blowing, i know! Lol! Truth is, unless we've experienced that feeling ourselves, it's hard to understand someone else's reasons behind it. It doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just different. A common response by men who know their partner is bi, is to ask for a threesome, and for some, this works. I know that for many women who are just becoming aware of their sexuality, the desire can be overwhelming, and it's less about feelings and emotions and more about the sexual experience. It's not as if they're forcing a woman to join them, after all, so as long as they're all on the same page and no one is getting hurt, it shouldn't matter. Of course theres always the chance that it goes beyond sex, and deeper feelings develop, in fact it's often the case for those that haven't experienced it before. Everyone is free to live their own life, and make their own choices, so as long as everyone involved knows what they're getting into, and is happy with that arrangement, it's really no one elses business outside of that.
  8. lsroses

    The 12 Hours

    I was thinking the same thing! I miss this
  9. Personally, I'm generally very friendly. If you saw me on the school run, I'll stop and chat to people, maybe touch their arm, hold eye contact, laugh......so all the things that most people would think is flirtatious. Truth is, I'm comfortable talking to women, I'll flirt if I think I can get away with it, and I will compliment them if they deserve it and it's not creepy. It doesn't mean I'm interested! In fact, if I do find someone attractive, I'm a nervous wreck. My heart races when I see them. I struggle to think of something good to say. I stumble over my words etc. Honestly, I'm an embarrassment half the time. And something I've noticed recently...I smile at them differently. I guess it's mixed with nerves and blushing, and possibly a large intake of breath. Wow....I'm painting a great picture here. But once I'm comfortable, I relax. It just takes some time to get past the awkward phase for me if I really like someone. Anyway, I'm no help whatsoever. Good luck figuring out if a married woman is interested!
  10. lsroses

    Searching for the "ideal"

    Have you had any more discussions with your husband? I hope everything works out for you. It's by no means easy. My story started out much the same. All I did was tell him I was attracted to women and he was the one that suggested I embrace it and become comfortable with who I was. He gave the go ahead for kissing, and asked for a threesome (of course, but no). Then he wanted to be involved and wasn't happy with me going it alone. But again I wasn't comfortable with that. But even an emotional connection was enough for his insecurities to spiral out of control. I had been honest with him every step of the way, and that was my problem. I was too honest, thinking he was ok with it, and then finding he really wasn't. At which point I was so wrapped up in her, I couldn't see the pain he was going through. He thought it was just about sex, and maybe I did too, to begin with, but it's not. It's so much more. I envy those that manage 2 relationships or more, because I really don't think I can, and I don't want to. No one should have to compete for affection and someone always suffers, at least from my experience. I do love him deeply and we've had a strong connection from the start, I just can't fight this pull that's leading me in another direction. I might regret giving up my forever with him but this isn't something I can switch off, and I can't see us working out if I never regain his trust. So true @CallistoDidNotWin Ideal, perfection etc, doesn't exist and only leads to disappointment. I'm generally a very, positive person. I'm surrounded by the love of great friends and family and I really do enjoy life right now. As for worrying about what it 'isn't', well who know's what that is. We tend to want what we can't have, and it's always more exciting when it's forbidden. Again, it's riddled with disappointment when expectations don't meet reality. So you're right, it's best not to worry, and live in the now! That quote is spot on.....all anyone wants is to be happy. Hopefully one day we can all happily sit and watch the world go by
  11. TBF, He's always been quite well groomed, but then in my opinion....so was I at this point!! I don't mind hair on a man, as long as it's not his back or belly and it's trimmed and clean. I think it's masculine. He knew I wouldn't like him shaving his legs, which he also did in protest. But it didn't put me off sex and I didn't tell him it was gross or anything, it was just weird cos I wasn't used to it and the top half was still hairy! If anything I was just jealous cos he has better legs than me and they looked too good!
  12. lsroses


    @these-broken-wings(TBW) why did you delete the link!? It's beautiful, a strong message, and brought a tear to my eye. Everyone should watch it so please add it back in cos it's absolutely allowed! Yes words are powerful, and kindness goes a long way. There's no sense in letting bitterness and resentment destroy you, or you will simply stop living a full and happy life and be filled with anger. I suppose it can apply to many things....bullying, pushy parents, a religion telling you it's a sin to love someone of the same gender. It hurts and it can ruin you. But if you're lucky enough to meet someone that helps you accept yourself fully, then that is a beautiful and precious thing, even if the method used, or lesson learnt, isn't quite how we expected to figure it out.
  13. Well I greatly admire you for standing your ground, and please, by all means, carry on being you. I just think it would be more considerate to try and tone it down, for the sake of keeping this site a lighthearted, happy, and safe place to be, for everyone, old and new. I believe your delivery could be viewed as derogatory and insulting to those that still believe it. And providing a link with "bullshit" in the title, only makes that worse, to me anyway. If you're offended by that, it's up to you, I'm going to say it anyway It sounds like you've had a terrible experience of spirituality, and I'm sorry about that. I had a terrible experience of Christianity for the first 20 years of my life. Some even call it a cult. I walked away and I'm happier for it. It seems like every belief system has people that will manipulate it to suit themselves, resulting in frauds, fakes, cults, extremists etc. It's how many religions are born!! And I agree, it's awful. We just have to choose whether to believe them or walk away. In answer to the opening question....I think there are many potential great loves that enter our lives. I thought I'd found "the one" in my husband. I had no doubt whatsoever. I knew it when I married him and I still believe that. I just think that we meet certain people to serve a purpose, or help us grow. I'm not the same person I was 15 years ago. So maybe now I'm ready to meet another "one" Twin flames?......Maybe it's true, maybe it's been romanticised and people get their hopes up only to be disappointed when they don't meet. Or maybe you meet someone that you click with on every possible level and you simply search for an answer or title to such an electric, magical, connection, and TF fits perfectly. No one can be 100% certain on anything. Just hold onto perfection if it comes your way.