Songbird16

GoldenShyBiGirls
  • Content count

    158
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1
  • Country

    United States

Songbird16 last won the day on February 26

Songbird16 had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

114 Excellent

3 Followers

About Songbird16

  • Rank
    Big Tease
  • Birthday March 3

Profile Information

  • Music
    Classic Rock, Alternative, Classic Country and some newer stuff :)
  • Location
    Wonderland
  • Interests
    Hey, I'm 23, I like chatting/talking to friends as well as new people, Animals, music, reading (I like smutty novels lol), hunting and fishing, Netflix binges, writing. :)If you want to know more then feel free to message me. :)
  • Signature Fragrance
    Velvet Sugar
  • Favourite Book
    Crossfire series, 50 Shades, Harry Potter, Nancy Drew, etc
  • Favourite TV Show
    Supernatural, Doctor Who, Friends, I Love Lucy, Doctor Who
  • Favourite Film
    Monty Python & Mel Brooks movies, comedies, some scary movies, too many to name lol

Recent Profile Visitors

1,084 profile views
  1. Out with friends tonight! It feels nice to do something for myself for once :)

  2. It did feel good to write this, but it didn't give me any clarity really. I still I'm l confused and stuck like i did before. My husband can be so great, but he can be such an asshole. Plus, since he's one of the few people I've let myself be vulnerable with, he has the ability to make me feel so shitty and he has done that numerous times.
  3. I'm tired of the way you make me feel. I 'm tired of the ups and downs and the way you play with my emotions. I'm tired of you being a controlling narcissist and getting mad or suspicious any time I do something. I'm tired of being married to my dad. I grew up with an angry dad and he taught me how to repress my feelings and bottle up my emotions. He was always angry and the littlest things would set him off. I learned how to walk on eggshells at a young age. The abuse was never physical from him, it was all mental, verbal, and emotional. My dad had a way of making us feel stupid and insignificant with just a look or a phrase. I grew up knowing I'd never be good enough, I grew up knowing I'd always be lacking in some way. I learned to tune out the yelling, I built walls around my cold, hardened heart to keep the hurt out, my humor became cynical like his, I learned to turn off my emotions, and I learned to accept and also expect disappointment from people in my life. His cheating and affairs made me angrier and so full of hate and resentment. I grew up hurting and angry...and then I met you. You made me smile and tore down my walls and defenses. You accepted me and my flaws with open arms, and you made me want to be a better person. I couldn't believe you were real or that you had fallen for me. You took care of me and held me at night, listened to me when I needed a friend...you genuinely cared. I loved showing you off and bragging on you to my friends because you treated me well and you were so respectful and sweet to me. I woke up smiling and went to bed snuggled in your arms. My heart was so full of love that I thought it was going to explode on a daily basis. You made me feel again....you made me want to feel again. You made me feel confident and strong and beautiful and loved. You made me feel smart and special and loved doing anything and everything with me....I felt like I could conquer the world with you by my side. You made me feel whole. Then I lost you. Physically you sit here across the room from me, snoring as you nap on the couch. The laughter and smiles have become fewer, and the arguments and degradation have become the norm. Those dark feelings of insecurity and unworthiness have started creeping up on me, waiting to once again become a part of me. My heart is gradually turning to stone as I write these words, and the bricks are being laid in a circle around it. My emotions are as drained as the Tequila bottle on the counter, and part of me has begun to disappear. That woman in the mirror? She's flawed, her imperfections are too many to name. She talks too much, she's too trusting, she gets zits and needs to lose weight and she never does anything right. You remind me with your words that I didn't do something right, you remind me with your actions that I'm not enough. "If I were enough for him, he'd want to be intimate with me once in awhile." Says the woman in the mirror. I try to fight the hurt and despair, but it follows me everywhere. I am tired of this battle. I am tired of always being wrong and feeling insignificant. I am tired of trying only to be crushed and hurt. I sometimes catch a glimpse of the man I married, the man you used to always be. But sometimes isn't enough...sometimes doesn't make me feel like you used to. I sit here and shut down my feelings, I only feel hurt and confusion. I look at you as I feel my heart harden and the wall continue to go up. I will not let anyone hurt me anymore. I will not be vulnerable to you, even if it means I have to shut down completely. The dark feelings cover me like a blanket and suddenly I feel nothing at all. I'm becoming numb to feeling and I'm okay with that. I'd rather feel nothing at all if my other options are hurt and confusion. I can be comfortable being numb. I light my cigarette and let the feeling of feeling fade away. I feel a little cold inside, but it beats the way you made me feel. I tried so many times to tell you and each time was less important to you, I was less important. With each puff of smoke I notice the numbness growing inside me and it feels so familiar, like going home after a long vacation. I welcome the numbness and let it cover me completely like a blanket. I snuggle in and get comfortable with it, I think it is here to stay this time.
  4. Typically I'd prefer the evening, but morning sex is awesome once in awhile too. I don't mind morning sex, but I feel like I'm more confident and more "aware" when it's evening time and I've had dinner and maybe a couple beers or so. In the morning I have to pee first thing and then I'm worried about my morning breath, etc. Lol
  5. I am a huge sucker for accents in general, but the ones that really get me are Australian, Scottish, Irish, and Italian.
  6. I hope I don't come off as too much of a freak when I say that thjs drives me wild! I love kissing someone after they have just gone down on me! I don't know what it is about doing it, but tasting myself turns me on like crazy.
  7. I don't have a specific body type that I go for, but I do tend to prefer curvier girls like myself. I love some curvy hips and a nice thick ass to grab onto just as much as I love a full chest on a woman. That being said, I have had my share of crushes on thinner/leaner women also.
  8. Already 4 shots of Tequila and 4 beers in and feeling alright! Celebrating my brother turning the dirty 30 and today marks 4 months into my dry spell and I haven't lost my shit yet! Definitely good reasons to celebrate!! 

  9. Do you ever have those days where you question every decision you've ever made that, at the time, seemed like a good one but now you're wondering what might have happened if you had done things differently? 

    1. Girlygirl

      Girlygirl

      ABSOLUTELY!!

    2. Songbird16

      Songbird16

      I'm really having one of those days today and it's bugging the crap out of me...glad it's not just me though :)

    3. Girlygirl

      Girlygirl

      You're not alone! I could write a book on recent regrets alone!

  10. I have acne prone skin (not terribly, but I get breakouts around my chin/ jaw area all the time) and I currently use Clearproof from Mary Kay and it works okay usually, but lately it hasn't been keeping up with my breakouts. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for some really good facial cleanser that works well without breaking my bank. Also, any that I should stay away from? I have pretty sensitive skin, but it's not terrible...any suggestions would be appreciated!
  11. I use organic coconut oil for cooking and I seriously LOVE it!! I've heard it's great as a lotion/moisturizer, but I'm afraid it will cause a major breakout or something if I use it on my face. Has anyone with acne prone skin had any experience (good or bad) with using it as a facial moisturizer? I already have fairly oily skin, so obviously the fact that it's an oil is making me uneasy to use it on my face lol.
  12. I'm getting a piece on my right shoulder blade soon, it's going to be a phoenix and I'm super stoked to get it done! I've always loved Phoenix tattoos, but it's going to be for my Mother-in-law also (she's fighting stage 4 Lung Cancer). Then I'm going to get one for my mom and my brother is going to get a matching one, but we don't have it picked out at the moment lol. I also want my dog's paw print on my left side like at the top of my ribs (closest to my heart) and I want my stepdaughter's name and adoption date somewhere too. I'm so excited to get these done!
  13. It's amazing how getting your hair and nails done can make you feel so amazing and confident! Feeling pretty good about myself today! :)

    1. tbare13

      tbare13

      That's always a wonderful feeling!

    2. Songbird16

      Songbird16

      It is indeed! I'm glad I decided to do something for myself for once!

  14. How's my day going you ask? My dog chewed the hell out of my vibrator and left it by my bed on the floor. <_<

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Songbird16

      Songbird16

      I laughed afterwards, but initially I was like "what in the hell is wrong with you??? What's wrong with the trash??? Why did you choose THIS??"  Lmao

    3. tbare13

      tbare13

      "Why can't you be like other dogs and just chew up the remote?!"

    4. Songbird16

      Songbird16

      Exactly!!! Lol 

  15. Why are things so complicated? :blush:

    1. tbare13

      tbare13

      Sometimes life likes to be that way. I'm always around if you ever need to chat just pm me. Hugs

    2. Songbird16

      Songbird16

      I think I need to take you up on that

    3. tbare13

      tbare13

      Feel free to shoot me a message any time