Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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brokengirl0407 last won the day on April 15 2017

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About brokengirl0407

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  • Birthday 07/04/1980

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    USA, Midwest
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    shoe shopping
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  1. I moved this post from the talk sex to here OK, I have been putting is off for a while now. I am a nurse so that is a big part of reason for my reluctance I guess, it just seems to be embarrassing in a way, even though I know I should not ever feel that way about a medical condition. PIV sex has always cause me discomfort. When I was younger I thought it was just my inexperience an it would eventually get better. But as I got older the pain got worse and worse to the point that I dread having PIV sex with my hubby ( even dildo's are uncomfortable unless they are very small in diameter. That pain and discomfort after PIV sex now make the thought of it distasteful, I am in pain long after we are finished,sometimes I am brought to tears afterwards, which makes my husband feel terrible and in turn makes me feel bad because he thinks it is his fault. I feel so awful , not being able to have a full PIV sexual experience with my husband. He is very understanding, but even though he says he is ok and understands,I can't help but feeling he has some resentment . While I know intellectually it isn't truth and I shouldn't feel that way but I times not being able to enjoy PIV sex makes me feel less like a woman , I hate it when that thought worms it way into my head. It is depressing when that thought shows up and it takes weeks to banish it. I have rarely ever had an "O" with PIV, the total is most likely something I could count on both hands and have a few fingers left over. I have no problem at all "O"ing with Clitoral stimulation. I have tried, different positions, literally dozens of types of lubes, tried lidocaine cream to numb everything ( helps a little but not enough), alcohol (drinking a few more than moderate) and even self-hypnosis all to no avail. I have discussed my condition with several doctors and have received several opinions , of course very few are in agreement. they ranged from "it's an emotional thing take some Valium" to "surgery and ablation of some nerve endings". Bottom line is they just don't really know the true cause or a solution. AS a result, I satisfy my hubby with oral sex. If judging form his reactions , I have become exception at it. It is kind of strange in a way, Now how I feel about giving my hubby a BJ , like an adaptation I guess. maybe like how someone afflicted with loosing their sight becomes more adapt at using their hearing and sense of touch to compensate. I find I have become very aroused by the act of giving my husband oral. it in itself is very sensual and erotic for me to pleasure him in that way. He too has reciprocated and have honed his oral skills as well. It has not been that big of issue with my Lady friend, although she has mentioned a few times she might enjoy using a strap-on with me since i have played with one on her before. We have discussed my situation at length and I know she is very understanding, but again I do feel bad at times that I am denying her. So, after that long rambling explanation, I guess my reason for posting this is , am I alone,? Does anyone else suffer from this condition? Has anyone found a way to overcome this problem? Has anyone found they enjoy giving oral sex to their hubby more than PIV? I guess I am just looking for comfort in the form of others who can relate and understand what I am experiencing. I just want to feel normal.
  2. This is going to sound callous and a bit cold, certainly do not intend it to be, truly I do not. But just wondering if we married bi-ladies were totally honest with ourselves how many of us, knowing how we feel and are attracted to women now, would we have married? You could assume you would still how have your children even if you never married or entered into your existing relationship (after all this is totally hypothetical so assume anything you wish) . I find myself wondering that that from time to time. I do love my husband, he is kind, sweet, loving a great provider, strong, everything I had hopeful in a man. Having said that, if I had meet the lady I now have as a friend and lover before our marriage, I wonder if I would have done so. There are times I think I would not have married him, not because I didn't love him or still don't, because I do love him tremendously , but because of the special connect ion, that "thing" ,I find I can only get in my relationship with another woman. That thing that no matter how hard he tries my dh can not give me. Am I selfish wanting the best of both worlds, yes totally. Am I fortunate to have close to the best of both worlds, absolutely.... But still in the back of my mind I day dream about what if.......
  3. Other the years my attractions towards men as ebbed and flowed as they also have those towards women. Although much more fluctuating in regards towards men. My attraction towards women has grown more ever since my early 20's so even though it ebbs and flows, the highs are getting stronger each time and the low points are getting higher at the bottom of the cycle. Hope that makes sense.
  4. this morning, a hand held shower wand is a girls best friend!
  5. sorry, reposted in a more appropriate forum.o
  6. depends on how my diet has been going, but I guess bikini foot rub or back rub?
  7. Heavens, no. (pun intended)
  8. no
  9. I had an maiden aunt. No one ever said anything, but looking back on things now I am pretty sure she was a lesbian . She was the funniest of all my aunt and uncles. Loved being around her. I miss her so.
  10. uuuuuh I am a bit of a germophobe so the bare feet thing makes me cringe thinking of walking down the street or worse into a public rest room yuck. And not much of a public exhibitionist either, so this is a tough choice. If fore to pick I would do the bare feet nad then soak them if antiseptic each night when I get home. Holiday Party Dress, heels or flats?
  11. Really Hot Casual dinner out, would you rather have Italian or Mexican food?
  12. I enjoy the party game ."would you rather" and think it might be fun to start it here. To play, answer the "would you rather..>" posted above you and than propose your own would you rather for the next person. Ill go first Would you rather have a Beach vacation or Sight seeing vacation?