My mindset with my ideal situation has changed / evolved over time with my journey. Recently my current situation is pretty ideal and may even be in part slowly turning into pretty close to what I originally envisioned. I feel like I'm a bit of the exception to the rule as I have a hubby and a GF that are both equally cared for and loved. I'm also a mom and I have a full career. My hubby is fully supportive and knows about her, she recently met my family actually and they all get along great. She is also a married mom, hubby knows of her sexuality but not of our relationship. He now knows of me though, as her friend, and soon I'll be meeting some other family members of hers. I feel whole having both sides, it just feels right!