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About blueberry

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  1. Therefore it is rather a speculation with a hint of certain agenda as far as I can see. Sadly this kind of information can potentially put a healthy relationship at risk of doubting and concluding a predestined doom in their relationship..
  2. Ahh loving friendship. I suppose that's what most women want. Emotional connection is what we yearn more than the physical intimacy. However, if one has breathed the scent of a woman, has felt her softness and tasted her sweetness before, the yearning for another physical closeness is undeniably there and grows more and more as life goes on.
  3. I don't see any problem with dating a nerd. You're being nerd is one of the things about you but not all about you. You have other attributes that you may not be aware of but others will find attractive or interesting enough to be drawn to you. I got infatuated with someone who's a geek and anti-feminist (how about that?!) and even that couldn't undo what I felt for her because of her kindness to people, authenticity, humility, simplicity, and positivity in life. Sure you don't want to give up something that you deem a big part of your life. The question lies in how you are going to adjust in a relationship that will take away some of your time and energy from the usual stuff that you normally do. How much are you willing to give to adapt in someone's life as she adapts in yours? It's a two-way thing. If you can show in your profile that you're not a nerdy person who's in your own world all the time then maybe you can attract more sensible women who'll give you a shot. Although, if you want somebody to date you because of you being a nerd, then that's a whole different topic to discuss about.
  4. I couldn't agree more!
  5. Oh, @Hungry. You've covered everything in a snap.
  6. Statistics can only be accurate and matter if they are reliable. It can be misleading when done inappropriately. I should be able to know first the source of the raw data, how the indicators are selected, how the variables are compared, or to simplify things if the study itself is peer reviewed, before it makes any sense to me.
  7. Some people do enjoy being with someone but not necessarily to have “the” relationship. Either they are testing the water and taking things slowly or unsure of what they want while they go with the flow. This is okay. Everyone is entitled to go slow, to be cautious, to be confused at times and retract because it is natural. More often than not, when a person feels secured then she comes out of her shell, gives without being asked and does things in her own volition. I am not sure if she's into you but from your story, she undoubtedly likes your company and cares for you. If she's cold sometimes, it could mean a lot of things and maybe it's got nothing to do with you. If I may ask, what were your expectations during those happy times you’re together? Did you find yourself enjoying what you were having or spending a lot of time thinking on what’s going on? Now, that you’re pushing her away and maybe she’s doing the same thing as a natural reaction to your behaviour, have you tried at least to pause from grieving and evaluate your realistic expectation in the future? In same sex attraction/relationship (I’m talking in general and not just in this specific situation of yours), what do you want? You’re married, so what would you give? What would you want to take from? Having a realistic expectations is a must although these expectations are NOT set in stone -- they are there to KEEP YOU ON TRACK. In general speaking, trying to know what’s in someone’s mind is futile and purely a speculation unless you’re good in mind reading. Trying to fix something when there’s nothing to fix is a rather waste of time and energy. Much worse is when one already concludes a bleak and gloomy future when the present is here to come to prove its worth. If circumstances change and both of you come into good terms again, I suggest to let things happen naturally. There are things that need no further explanation or confirmation. Sometimes, it is to be able to enjoy what the moment brings in and not worry about what comes next to it. If you can manage to be patient and keep sailing with the wind and not against it, then, perhaps, you’ll find that this journey is not only a risk for heartbreaks but rather something that you embrace and accept as part of living and loving. It's a beautiful journey depending on how you put things in right perspective. If and I hope not but I assure you that you might do (do I make any sense here? lol), get your heart broken, remember to keep in your mind while you are in such emotional turmoil that this is part of life. As life continues, so you must. My two cents.
  8. You've established what you want - FFM. That's a good start. I think no straight hardcore would want FFM or fantasise anything to do with women. So you're bicurious in my book. Welcome to shybi!
  9. @Married&Iknowit what makes you more confused? The woman is hinting an attraction and you feel more confused to what? Your own sexuality? Sorry, must be heaps of Christmas cake slowing down my brain.
  10. Welcome! Sometimes the perfect time to come out is when it is done on the spur of the moment. Remember, though, that at this stage, the last thing you want is a judgmental and a harsh environment. You are just opening up and so what you need is a lot of support to boost your spirit. This is your personal journey and you can come out to your bestfriend and parents when you're ready. What is being ready then? As for me, being ready is when I'm comfortable in my own skin; when I'm happy to be who I am and the opinion of others don't matter anymore. My brother knew about me but my mum didn't. I had thought about telling it but my gut was telling me not to, that it might not be a good idea and it'd bruise me. I don't feel the need to tell my mum these days. I don' t think about it. Maybe one day it'll just happen on the spur of the moment. Goodluck and stay in touch here if you need to. Happy New Year!
  11. @Spicysweet thank you for the encouraging story of yours. I hope the perfect woman for me comes.
  12. Wow! Happy for you @noobi. It looks like your mum's cool.
  13. I would stay the same. I have forgiven myself from things that I failed to do or that I did wrong. I do not dwell in the past but have acknowledged its implication in my present life. Whatever is missing in my life now, I’ll deal with it. I’ll keep my heart open and I’ll find my way to her. Would you rather have sex with the lights on or lights off?