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About lovelace

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    Japanese hip hop/synth beats
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  1. It's so bizarre that she probably thinks "being there for you" would have prevented you from feeling something so natural. If anything it's good she gave you the space, I know from experience that being around certain family/friends/colleagues with strong views can suppress or delay who you truly are. Kindly send her this video so she can understand better... I find that a lot of non bi/pan people can't get their head around the fact that we can fall for any gender. If we're with the opposite gender we're straight but when it's the other way around we're gay/lesbian. When in actual fact we're still very much bisexual. I'm really glad you have a good support system... Especially someone you can relate to aswell.
  2. I fall between being bisexual/demisexual/sapio. When I was 19 I came out to one of my closest friends but never felt the need/urge to come out to anyone else. Growing up I thought I just admired other women in a girl crush kind of way and didn't get sexual urges when I kissed my girl friends, like I did with guys. It was only until my late teens when I actually recognised how much I liked this girl at my college - even one of the guys in my class noticed I did and playfully pointed it out. I liked another girl in my class too but we were friends. I still didn't quite understand my sexuality like I do now. I don't really discuss who I like with my friends/family. I only really discuss briefly whether I've had a date but ive always been a private person in that retrospect. I actually find having to tell people who I'm dating and why rather exhausting. Hetero people can date the opposite sex and not have to be questioned about it beyond who the person is and what they do. Where as for an LGBTQ+ person it's like we have to prepare for a Ted talk and Q&A... "is the other person gay or bi" "why have you hidden this from me" "so are you gay now" etc. I just want to be like Illana from Broad City. Unapologetically dating whoever she wants and not having any questions asked. Just being her!
  3. 5 or 6 years ago I told someone who was a friend of mine at the time. But I've never felt the need to announce it to anyone. My mum definitely knows even though I haven't said outright. I just say certain things and I've said a silly joke or two (one was about putting straight cut chips in the oven for her whilst I was having the crinkle cut ones because that's more me) I know lame joke lmao. She has awkwardly asked but I managed to change the subject. She also has mentioned to me previously that her neighbours son is gay and the dad is homophobic - she kept telling the dad to accept his son because he is the same person etc. My mum's a sweetie really and always says that people should embrace their sexuality and be unapologetically themselves and says hypotheticals like if any of her children were gay that she'd love them the same. My eldest sister is kind of homophobic/biphobic the first thing she mentions when she knows of someone not being hetero is that she doesn't want to hear about their sex life; as if they're rampant rabbits 24/7 who want to report their promiscuous sexcapades on BBC (British Broadcast Channel) News. I always tell her that I hear more about hetero friends sex lives than I do my LGBTQ+ friends but she's insistent her invisible gay buddies have done so in the past. I personally think she probably has confirmation bias for anything she deems "out of the ordinary". She also seems biphobic because she said that she knows of women that have apparently said they're fed up of men so are trying women and that after years of being with men and having kids they can't possibly be lesbians...that they're, faking it. I agree I can't stand people who say the whole "I'm fed up of men" excuse, in order to explain why they are now with a woman but surely if they are now actively in that relationship they can't fake their feelings/actions for very long without being found out. Whether those women are bi, queer, lesbian, or just don't want to label things it's their business and no one else's! My youngest sister is like my best friend but I haven't told her. There was a time when she kept saying that she was a lesbian & has a gf to my mum for a joke but I spoke with her and told her why it's wrong to joke about your sexuality like that, she apologised and hasn't done it since. I figured if and when I start dating again I'll let her know I'm bi or whatever. Other than that she is all round accepting of the LGBTQ+ ! The rest of my family/friends don't have a clue, my dads side of the family are mysogynist bible bashers [[my half sisters sister is a lesbian and her family doesn't acknowledge or embrace her sexuality positively]] and I don't really care to tell them or announce it because in all seriousness it's no one's business but the person I'm pursuing. I'm generally a rather private person and have become even more so since quitting social media and dropping toxic friends. That in no way means that I'm in the closet though. I've figured if it comes up or I'm dating/in a serious relationship with someone of the same sex or something than it'll be pretty self explanatory. The way I see things is that hetero people don't have to announce their sexual or romantic preference. I'm basically trying to break heteronormative views.
  4. Think I missed this earlier. I completely agree; companionship seems to be the only worthy reason or I'll rather be alone than have sex for the sake of it. Sorry for your loss, I hope you're well x
  5. For me it depends what mood I'm in but usually if I fantasise about a guy it almost always includes a woman... Some of them are: kissing a woman, sucking/caressing her breasts, she holds my hips as we grind against the vibrator wedged between us. Or A femme couple that I befriend who tie me to the bed and have their way with me. Or A threesome with one woman grinfing her wet pussy on my face whilst the other uses a strapless dildo on me.
  6. I do that too! I love seeing myself cum
  7. Typically around 5-6 times a week. I do Hiit because I can't stand the gym or regular cardio. I also do butt/lower body exercises 3 times a week and abs/back/upper body 4 times a week. I'd like to try kickboxing when I get the time.
  8. I used to laugh at it. Now I just ignore it, its super normal.
  9. Perhaps its because I've not been in a proper relationship yet (had a "boyfriend" as a teen but don't class that as a proper relationship) and I've only dated and its not gone as well as I hoped. I've been single for about 5/6 years maybe? and I like being single, spending time on myself, family, friends etc. I understand that sharing your life with another person isn't all sugar and spice, there are challenges etc. but sometimes I find myself questioning why I would want to be in a relationship... Maybe its because I haven't come across a person I want to be in a relationship with and it naturally takes me a while to open up and get used to people platonically and romantically. I'm not asexual and I do have a high sex drive (although I cant bring myself to do casual sex - thank the universe for sex toys & my hands lol) I'm just really happy single and I kinda want to keep it that way so I can do as I please.
  10. Thank you for this! You hit the nail on the head. I'm also a private person so it's not something I want to have to explain to everyone or give them the opportunity to ask me 1001 questions, I mean they wouldn't if I announced I was straight. I don't think that is being self absorbed!
  11. Having lots of time for myself and focusing on my goals etc. It might sound selfish but I like to invest time in loving myself and I like having those non-social days. Sometimes I just switch off my phone or its on silent most of the time. When I date I think I fantasise about the future too much and think of how that person will fit into my life & vice versa (I've learned from it).
  12. I love dancing! But I can dance in front of people without being intoxicated. I was really shy in my teens and despite the fact that I would dance at home all the time, I had never done so in front of everyone. After 100s of nights out drinking and dancing my confidence grew and now I don't really care who sees lol
  13. Thank you! I'm going to look into this now
  14. I know, I'm not picky in terms of looks so much but just about the person in general. I seem to be more attracted to someone based on personality. You're right! I think I know who that person will be too. I'm finding it hard to even say it out loud to myself at the moment.
  15. Thank you. That's how I feel about being taken seriously. Also one of my sisters seems to be a insensitive/homophobic she always says things like 'I don't mind if they are but I don't want to know the details' and I've always said well they're not going to tell you that just like that - I've heard more hetero people open about details of their sex lives. I'm confused as to why she degrades non-hetero people to sex. Mind you she is a bit of a prude generally. She'll most probably say 'but you were with a guy... is it because he hurt you' - I'll be really surprised if she said otherwise. It doesn't help that another sister keeps joking that she's a lesbian for attention and saying 'what would you do if I was... No, I don't think I could be one...'.etc. So now I feel the pressure because my mum now thinks that she is and keeps saying 'You shouldn't suppress it, you should be proud and own it if you are'. So that puts me off coming out even more so right now, I'm going to have to wait for it to cool down. I also feel a stronger attraction to men despite that connecting with one emotionally without them wanting to sleep with me first is rare. I'm thinking of joining a bisexuals meetup group here in the UK. I hate dating apps. Perhaps try to see if there's one in your area?