Silver Shy-Bi Girl
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About lovelace

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    Japanese hip hop/synth beats
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  1. I love that comeback!! xD I bet that shut her up! Your hair looks awesome!!
  2. Yes, its all to do with feminine energy - doesn't matter whether you are butch or femme! Haha that's happened to me on a couple of occasions and I was wearing the exact outfit you described! XD my hair has grown out now but I'm tempted to cut it!
  3. Yep, that's the thing others will assume your sexuality either way. What really matters most is that you know yourself, though it is annoying being assumed to be straight af.
  4. I agree, I'm very sensitive. Most of the time when I've been fingered (sorry for the tmi) I end up sore because of a little scratch from nails by going a bit rough!
  5. I don't assume people's sexuality but there's sometimes this 'what if she's not into women' voice in the back of my head. In the past - present I've just let friendships happen organically, I'm not a pushy or forward person and I don't see my friends in a romantic/sexual hence why my friendships with women stay platonic! With men however they've always tried to pursue romantic relationships and then couldn't resume back to friendship. That's why the only male friends I have now are either gay or colleagues lol I feel like dating apps aren't for me, from experience some of the people I met had an online persona which was completely different from how they were in person. Some would even lie! Hence why I avoid it and would rather do group activities/meetup (I've met some amazing people at meetups)
  6. I read a funny blog post; 'how to know if a girl likes girls', and one of the points were that they keep their nails short and clean xD it makes sense but obviously it's more hygienic in general. I always cut my nails!
  7. Do your husband or children know? Do you think meeting others will help you feel more part of the community?
  8. I think there may be groups like that in London or Brighton! If you're ever near by or live in those areas you could check them out... Perhaps there are even Facebook groups?...
  9. Me too! I'm introverted so going to meet ups alone kinda freaks me out too.
  10. I don't like to stick labels but it's the only way to describe to others my personal experience with navigating through the queer community. Because we live in a heteronormative society most people assume you're straight when you're actually femme.
  11. No one knows I'm bisexual, perhaps a few wouldn't be surprised if I was but I feel pretty invisible. I love makeup, softly spoken, love wearing mini skirts/dresses but I'm more of a doc martens/chunky boots kinda gal than stilettos; (can't walk in them to save my life). It's not like I want to wear a flashing top everyday saying "Bisexual Woman" across it, but I sometimes wish people wouldn't assume I'm straight, especially since I don't even speak about relationships/dating much and if the topic does come up I always use 'they' or 'people' instead of 'him/her' or 'men/women'. Which is how my mother sussed I am bi, though she is accepting we have never spoken about my sexuality. This year I've fantasised about relationships with women more so than men, where as before it was the other way around and I'd think about women only in a sexual way rather than romantic. I can't see myself being in a relationship anytime soon but if I had to choose it'd be with another woman. I suppose I have to start going to bi meetups/events in my area as I can't stand online dating! What's your experience with being a bi femme?
  12. It's so bizarre that she probably thinks "being there for you" would have prevented you from feeling something so natural. If anything it's good she gave you the space, I know from experience that being around certain family/friends/colleagues with strong views can suppress or delay who you truly are. Kindly send her this video so she can understand better... I find that a lot of non bi/pan people can't get their head around the fact that we can fall for any gender. If we're with the opposite gender we're straight but when it's the other way around we're gay/lesbian. When in actual fact we're still very much bisexual. I'm really glad you have a good support system... Especially someone you can relate to aswell.
  13. I fall between being bisexual/demisexual/sapio. When I was 19 I came out to one of my closest friends but never felt the need/urge to come out to anyone else. Growing up I thought I just admired other women in a girl crush kind of way and didn't get sexual urges when I kissed my girl friends, like I did with guys. It was only until my late teens when I actually recognised how much I liked this girl at my college - even one of the guys in my class noticed I did and playfully pointed it out. I liked another girl in my class too but we were friends. I still didn't quite understand my sexuality like I do now. I don't really discuss who I like with my friends/family. I only really discuss briefly whether I've had a date but ive always been a private person in that retrospect. I actually find having to tell people who I'm dating and why rather exhausting. Hetero people can date the opposite sex and not have to be questioned about it beyond who the person is and what they do. Where as for an LGBTQ+ person it's like we have to prepare for a Ted talk and Q&A... "is the other person gay or bi" "why have you hidden this from me" "so are you gay now" etc. I just want to be like Illana from Broad City. Unapologetically dating whoever she wants and not having any questions asked. Just being her!
  14. 5 or 6 years ago I told someone who was a friend of mine at the time. But I've never felt the need to announce it to anyone. My mum definitely knows even though I haven't said outright. I just say certain things and I've said a silly joke or two (one was about putting straight cut chips in the oven for her whilst I was having the crinkle cut ones because that's more me) I know lame joke lmao. She has awkwardly asked but I managed to change the subject. She also has mentioned to me previously that her neighbours son is gay and the dad is homophobic - she kept telling the dad to accept his son because he is the same person etc. My mum's a sweetie really and always says that people should embrace their sexuality and be unapologetically themselves and says hypotheticals like if any of her children were gay that she'd love them the same. My eldest sister is kind of homophobic/biphobic the first thing she mentions when she knows of someone not being hetero is that she doesn't want to hear about their sex life; as if they're rampant rabbits 24/7 who want to report their promiscuous sexcapades on BBC (British Broadcast Channel) News. I always tell her that I hear more about hetero friends sex lives than I do my LGBTQ+ friends but she's insistent her invisible gay buddies have done so in the past. I personally think she probably has confirmation bias for anything she deems "out of the ordinary". She also seems biphobic because she said that she knows of women that have apparently said they're fed up of men so are trying women and that after years of being with men and having kids they can't possibly be lesbians...that they're, faking it. I agree I can't stand people who say the whole "I'm fed up of men" excuse, in order to explain why they are now with a woman but surely if they are now actively in that relationship they can't fake their feelings/actions for very long without being found out. Whether those women are bi, queer, lesbian, or just don't want to label things it's their business and no one else's! My youngest sister is like my best friend but I haven't told her. There was a time when she kept saying that she was a lesbian & has a gf to my mum for a joke but I spoke with her and told her why it's wrong to joke about your sexuality like that, she apologised and hasn't done it since. I figured if and when I start dating again I'll let her know I'm bi or whatever. Other than that she is all round accepting of the LGBTQ+ ! The rest of my family/friends don't have a clue, my dads side of the family are mysogynist bible bashers [[my half sisters sister is a lesbian and her family doesn't acknowledge or embrace her sexuality positively]] and I don't really care to tell them or announce it because in all seriousness it's no one's business but the person I'm pursuing. I'm generally a rather private person and have become even more so since quitting social media and dropping toxic friends. That in no way means that I'm in the closet though. I've figured if it comes up or I'm dating/in a serious relationship with someone of the same sex or something than it'll be pretty self explanatory. The way I see things is that hetero people don't have to announce their sexual or romantic preference. I'm basically trying to break heteronormative views.
  15. Think I missed this earlier. I completely agree; companionship seems to be the only worthy reason or I'll rather be alone than have sex for the sake of it. Sorry for your loss, I hope you're well x