Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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ChemFem last won the day on June 1

ChemFem had the most liked content!

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About ChemFem

  • Rank
    Blinding You With Science
  • Birthday 03/28/1995

Profile Information

  • Music
    Classic rock, choral music, funk, many more
  • Location
    Phoenix metro area
  • Interests
    Crossword puzzles, museums, tinkering
  • Signature Fragrance
    IPA (the beer or the cleaning product)
  • Favourite Book
    Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)
  • Favourite TV Show
    Lost Girl, Gallivant
  • Favourite Film
    Doctor Strangelove, Muppets From Space

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  1. Meetups in general are a great way to make friends. There are definitely accepting lesbian groups out there. Obnoxious "gold star" types are often the loudest, but they're not the majority. In general, the lesbians I'm friends with take the attitude of "I don't see the appeal personally, but whatever makes you happy." If you have a hobby such as sport or music, there are often gay organizations centered around shared pastimes. The fact that everybody is there for a specific, nonsexual purpose means there is no expectation that people are looking to hook up. I'm in a women's chorus that is a member of the Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses (GALA Choruses) and it's been wonderful. We are unapologetically queer, but at the end of the day we are first and foremost there to sing with each other. They're very accepting of bisexual members, of which there are many. We even have a few straight members, though in some cases I didn't realize it at first. It's nice being in a space in which the default conversation about marriage is "tell me about your wife" "husband, actually" rather than the reverse.
  2. More info about FOSTA-SESTA:
  3. this is the relevant section of the updated community standards
  4. Facebook just updated their community standards to restrict any mention of sex acts or sexual organs "beyond mere naming." They also say that any "suggestive statements" will be interpreted as solicitations for sex. You can thank SESTA/FOSTA for this. For those who aren't familiar, this is a recent piece of legislation with the ostensible purpose of fighting human trafficking. It gives the government authority to shut down any site used to solicit sex. Previously, FCC rules classified internet platforms as common carriers who were not liable for material posted on their site. This law creates an exception. Already, Backpage, Rentboy, and Craigslist personals have closed down as a result. Other companies are rushing to make changes to their terms and conditions like this one. But hey, if it keeps people from being trafficked, that's worth sacrificing some freedom of speech right? Except the people who have most stringently opposed these laws from the beginning are sex workers. Before the law passed, they predicted that removing internet platforms that enabled them to screen clients would put them in more danger, not less. Tragically, the numbers have borne this out. As for trafficking, law enforcement agents have said that these changes make it more difficult to prosecute traffickers by driving them underground. My primary purpose here is not to lecture you about politics but to give you information to plan future action. As always, contact your members of Congress (if you live in the US) and give them a piece of your mind if you disagree with your actions. In the meantime, be aware of how this might impact your online experience. Please don't self-censor; that's giving in to people who want to control you with fear. I just want you all to be prepared in case you get messages that you've "violated community standards" and don't know why. To me, this underscores the importance of independent online communities like ShyBi. Heartfelt thanks to everybody who keeps this place going.
  5. @lsroses @kairi rereading this thread, I am realizing that some of the brat versus brat banter I use with my girlfriend now was stolen from you two.
  6. I say if you can't have them both, go for the red haired woman. The fact that you have to convince yourself to give this guy a chance suggests that you already have your doubts about him. The difference between how you describe him and how you describe her is the difference between acceptable and excellent. Don't get psyched out by the fact that someone you want intensely wants you back (this is waaay easier said than done.) She wants you, and you want her, because you're compatible. Try not to think of it in terms of leagues or numbers. Just enjoy the ride
  7. Wow i wish i could afford this lol. Have a blast.
  8. I've never smoked myself, but a friend who is in the process of quitting said that he has started listening to music when he gets the urge to smoke. That way he's getting a reward signal, but not a drug induced one. He also mentioned cooking and eating good food to appreciate that his senses of smell and taste are better when he doesn't smoke. (On a different note, this is the first time I've referred to him on here as a friend, rather than ex-FWB, without thinking about it. Maybe I'm finally getting over him lol.)
  9. I would have posted this in the condolence corner forum but I'm not seeing it
  10. TW: suicide Hi Shys, sorry i haven't been on much. I have a question. A friend just told me that her metamour (partner of her partner) just jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. This person's death is causing ripple effects throughout her romantic network, including bringing suicidal ideation to the surface. How can I best support my friend through this situation? So far I have just been operating the same way I would to support somebody whose friend died, but there are additional nuances to this because of her relationship with the deceased. Any input from people who have personally handled grief in their poly network is especially appreciated.
  11. I am in accord with all three of the wise souls above. Once he accepts that things are really and truly over between you two, you may be able to be friends with him again. Until then, any efforts at friendship will just lead to frustration and heartbreak, as your goals are fundamentally different. Staying firm about your boundaries may be a challenge, but you have already cleared the most difficult part.
  12. Wow a lot has been revealed since I last logged on. No advice but just want to tell @treelover123 and @Ona that I'm rooting for you, individually and together.
  13. Take your time. Updates are for your benefit, not ours.
  14. That is positively angelic compared to some of what people say in this forum
  15. erotica

    Equal parts sweet and sexy, I love it