ChemFem

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Everything posted by ChemFem

  1. TW: suicide Hi Shys, sorry i haven't been on much. I have a question. A friend just told me that her metamour (partner of her partner) just jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. This person's death is causing ripple effects throughout her romantic network, including bringing suicidal ideation to the surface. How can I best support my friend through this situation? So far I have just been operating the same way I would to support somebody whose friend died, but there are additional nuances to this because of her relationship with the deceased. Any input from people who have personally handled grief in their poly network is especially appreciated.
  2. Wow i wish i could afford this lol. Have a blast.
  3. I've never smoked myself, but a friend who is in the process of quitting said that he has started listening to music when he gets the urge to smoke. That way he's getting a reward signal, but not a drug induced one. He also mentioned cooking and eating good food to appreciate that his senses of smell and taste are better when he doesn't smoke. (On a different note, this is the first time I've referred to him on here as a friend, rather than ex-FWB, without thinking about it. Maybe I'm finally getting over him lol.)
  4. I would have posted this in the condolence corner forum but I'm not seeing it
  5. I am in accord with all three of the wise souls above. Once he accepts that things are really and truly over between you two, you may be able to be friends with him again. Until then, any efforts at friendship will just lead to frustration and heartbreak, as your goals are fundamentally different. Staying firm about your boundaries may be a challenge, but you have already cleared the most difficult part.
  6. Wow a lot has been revealed since I last logged on. No advice but just want to tell @treelover123 and @Ona that I'm rooting for you, individually and together.
  7. Take your time. Updates are for your benefit, not ours.
  8. That is positively angelic compared to some of what people say in this forum
  9. erotica

    Equal parts sweet and sexy, I love it
  10. Not that into Master/slave but that was quite good
  11. Sex

    Mmph I wish someone that age would "take advantage" of me...
  12. Lol the cleaning crew!
  13. @Sithandra are you volunteering as a headwrecker?
  14. Great reminder. The dynamic will be different around different people, and few people will fall completely to one extreme or the other. Like you said, some people can grow out of being headwreckers, but don't count on it happening while they're with you.
  15. HI

    Hi! Happy to have you back.
  16. Hi @Bella Blake. I had a lot of the same thoughts when I was your age. I say that like I'm so much older, but I'm only 23 myself. It's amazing how much difference a few years can make in growing into your identity. There is enough programming out there to be straight that in my case, and likely in yours, i figured the fact that I had seriously considered being with a woman at all probably meant I wasn't exclusively heterosexual (spoiler alert I'm not.) Hopefully being on here will help you contibue to figure yourself and find the words to describe this fluid, complex mess we call sexuality.
  17. @Sukeybaby if Offspring are a local band for you does that mean you're from SoCal? I'm from Long Beach.
  18. Hi! You're definitely in the right place to discuss bicuriosity. Good that you've already initiated a conversation with your bf. Friendship is a good basis to build a relationship on. Most of the members on this site have expressed a preference for independent exploration over threesomes, so you're certainly not alone in that regard. Hopefully you will find good information and support here on ShyBi.
  19. I'm working to be a unicorn. Right now i want to take the opportunity of being single to work on myself and be a positive influence to those around me.
  20. Take your time, there's no rush.
  21. So sweet. I didn't actually realize that you two have never seen each other nude. It will just make it that much more special when you can meet in person.
  22. Yeesh. Have they heard you talk about your girlfriend? Like, ever? Cause at this point I'd bet on a nontrivial chance that you marry her. You're taking the high road by focusing on the love they have shown in the past, and good for you. I'm not sure I would have that kind of patience.
  23. Absolutely. I'd still be poly even if I were straight. More and more I've been looking on my bi/pansexuality as a gift rather than a burden. It makes it easier for me to see the good in everybody and generally spread love to the world. I sound like a hippie wannabe when i say that but it's true, i just want to show everybody some love and care.
  24. You did the right thing and behaved honorably towards her. It's difficult sometimes to accept that someone you have feelings for is not in a position to hear it at the moment, but putting your desires aside and giving them what they need is a mark of true love. We'll see how this plays out. Good luck.
  25. @QuestioningMarried sorry to hear. It's good that you're being honest with yourself, but does make the next steps more difficult. Are there any LGBT-affirming therapists in your area whom you could discuss this with?