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Sithandra last won the day on December 23 2017

Sithandra had the most liked content!

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About Sithandra

  • Rank
    French Kisser
  • Birthday 10/12/1977

Profile Information

  • Music
    Maybe classical, maybe jazz, or maybe something with a pounding beat.
  • Location
    North Carolina
  • Interests
    Reading, painting, gardening, (especially wildflowers), kayaking, cooking, especially Indian.
  • Signature Fragrance
    Black Opium
  • Favourite Book
    Anything by Dan Simmons
  • Favourite TV Show
    Game Of Thrones
  • Favourite Film
    The Lord Of The Rings

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  1. It depends. I'd say a fairly inexperienced man makes a better lover than an inexperienced woman. A woman, when she's not really experienced at making love with another woman may be kind of a pillow princess. She may be more passive. But once she learns....she may be more willing and eager to please. She doesn't automatically assume she's a great lover, and she may be more amenable to instruction. And there's a kind of emotional intensity with a woman. There's that thrill ride of learning just how another woman can make her feel. Also, if you want a lover who's willing to be submissive, men are much more likely to try to top from the bottom, which I don't like at all.
  2. Favorite Classes in High School: 1.) English sophomore year. The teacher was wonderful, and I loved reading Shakespeare. 2.) Band. I played clarinet. In college: 1.) Greek epic poetry. I had a prof who was deeply into the subject, loved it, and could make it come alive. 2.) Greek and Roman history. The ancient Greeks and Romans own a part of my soul. 3.) English Literature.
  3. I do not wish to be someone else. I do not wish to be like everyone else. I have my struggles, my wants, my mistakes, my failures, my unfulfilled dreams. But then so does everyone else. Being straight would nt make me happier. It would mean giving something up. It would mean giving up a part of myself in the hope of being ordinary and unremarkable.
  4. How did I dominate my partner? What appealed? So how do I dominate a partner? The answer is with their consent. Because there has to be consent. And consent requires trust. They need to know that I’ll respect their limits, that I won’t put them in danger, that I won’t embarrass them, that I’ll be safe, and sane, and discreet. The second thing is that how I dominate a partner is very largely a function of how they want to be dominated, and how their willing to be dominated. Because they get a say in it too. I’m not just imposing my will on people. We’re going to talk about this a lot, before and after. What are their fantasies? What do they desire? What turns them on? What turns them off? As for what appeals...I honestly don’t know that I can put it into words. I don’t want a doormat for a submissive. I want a submissive who’s strong, proud, and independent, who’s willing to give me their trust. If I cause pain, well...I also want to give pleasure. I ant this to be beautiful, and intense, and amazing for both of us.
  5. Normal perhaps. Boring never. Lola: Yes, IT is worth a watch. With someone
  6. In The Air Tonight - Phil Collins You Belong To The City - Glen Frey The Commissar - After the Fire Who Can It Be Now? - Men At Work The End Of The World As We Know it - REM Shock The Monkey - Peter Gabriel Queen Of The Broken Hearts - Loverboy Beat It - Micheal Jackson
  7. Every marriage is tested in one way or another. Some of those tests can get pretty scary. Unemployment, illness, alcoholism, infidelity, the death of a child. The test may be more prosaic. Arguments over one thing or another. But the tests come one way or another, and hopefully you come through it. But thee is one thing that no marriage, no human bond will ever survive, and that is contempt. What you husband did borders on contempt, and may have crossed that line, and that's why your feelings towards him have changed. If your spouse isn't going to be there and support you emotionally at a time like that, then what are they there for? Why do you tolerate having them take up space in the house.? Your feelings are perfectly legitimate, and have to be addressed in one way or another. That could take the form of a marriage counselor, perhaps. Someone you could discuss what happened with. Maybe the two of you sit down and talk about this. But I'd say that at the end of it, he has to show contrition and there has to be repentance. (I'm not a churchgoer, but that word has legitimate uses) And then you'll have to decide if you feel that he understands that what he did was wrong and is willing to some how put things right. And if the answer to that is no, then you have to decide if this is something you can live with, and still continue in the marriage.. But what he did was a the very least wrong, callous, hurtful, and detrimental to your marriage. he failed you. Your feelings are real, they matter a great deal, and you have every right to them. You have to talk things over with your husband, and quite possibly with a counselor, and then you have some decisions to make.
  8. Oh, I'm definitely a talker. Words of encouragement, praise, dirty talk, questions, to see how she's doing, telling her what I like, asking her what she likes, and what she's feeling. And I'm a moaner sometimes. And I almost forgot...I've been known to give orders
  9. And now every woman who was in her thirties when you were in your twenties feels like she missed out.
  10. OK, so you go with the plaid shirt for cold weather, and I'll have a cable knit pullover sweater. Something very warm that makes me look huggable. We'll make a lovely couple.
  11. Yeah, you can. A wifebeater and a set of well toned arms and shoulders.
  12. You need to be you. Don't try to become someone or something that you're not, because you will reek of phoniness. As for trying harder, sure. We all need to try harder. We are all able to improve ourselves, and we should. I once heard a guy (Who was something of a player) say that women were a lagging indicator, and if you wanted to "get women", (For any given definition of the word get), you needed to first work on getting your own life in order, because when you were taking care of your health, your appearance, your career, your own state of mind and sense of well being, you were going to be more attractive. So I'm not saying that you aren't already doing these things, but I think you need to be working more on being better at being yourself than pretending to be someone else.
  13. I will admit here that in fact I cheated on my husband with another woman while still married. (I no longer am) I said in my introductory post that my being bi wasn't a factor in the ending of my marriage, and that's the truth. The marriage didn't end because I cheated (he never knew). I cheated when the marriage was more or less of a sham and beyond repair. I don't regret it, I don't apologize for it, and I'd do it again. I'm not going to tell you that it's OK to cheat. I'm saying that I had a relationship that taught me something about, that's wrong. It showed me something I'd thought for a while. I chose to be authentic and true to myself. Which meant, in this case, having an affair. (God, I sound like a whore.) For the record, we didn't have any children, so there were not children seeing their secure loving home life evaporate. I don't know what I would have done if we'd had children, but that wasn't a factor. So to answer the question, can you be happy in the marriage if your husband doesn't know, and you never act on your feelings towards other women? The answer is maybe, maybe not, because I don't know what's really important you. If you are happy in the marriage, then maybe you can continue to be happy without acting on these particular feelings. Maybe you want to go there, but you're afraid. That's a perfectly good answer. Maybe you're willing to risk an affair. Maybe you're willing to tell him because you don't want to keep this secret, and you feel that you have to be honest. Maybe a better question is "Will you be HAPPIER acting on your feelings.?" That's going to take a lot of soul searching to answer that question, and I can't answer it for you. EDIT: Old Spanish Proverb: "Take what thou want and pay for it sayeth God
  14. I am me, and I don't feel the need to supply a label for myself. if you want to know me, then you can get to know me, but I resist being filed, stamped, numbered, labeled, briefed, or debriefed, to steal a famous line from an old TV show. These days I'm almost entirely attracted to women, but I don't call myself a lesbian because there seems to me that a lot of baggage goes along with that word that I don;'t really wish to carry around.
  15. All of that is true, but at some level, honestly, it doesn't matter. So at 43, he's single, and attractive. he's up front and honest that he's not interested in a long term relationship. Now, I'll give him points for honesty. Some guys aren't interested in a long term relationship, and not all of those guys are honest about it. They'll string you along. His reasons for not wanting a long term relationship don't really matter. Apparently they're good enough for him, so I'm not going to debate that. But I'll give him points for honesty. (EDIT: Unless, of course, the guy has issues that have scared off all previous women who showed any interest in him, in which case he's dishonest about who he really is, but not about his relationship goals.) Now he says that his woman better like women, because he's freaky, and he wants a freaky girl. Well, I like women, and I don;t consider myself freaky. I'm perfectly normal. (Which is not to say that I'm average, mind you, but I'm not freaky. and I'm normal) So right there he's kind of narrowed his prospects. He limited to the subset of women who like women and are freaky, and who are basically willing to be his side chick, because he's not interested in a long term relationship, So he's really eliminated a lot of possible matches right there. That's his problem, really, not yours or mine. But moving right along.. So what's in this for me? I get to be his side chick who helps fulfill his threesome fantasies With who? Has he got another side chick somewhere? Has he like, already picked out the girl I get to have the threesome with? If so, do I even get a say in this? Or am I expected to help him find the other girl? I don't regard him as a user, in that he was honest about what he wants. And he's allowed to want what he wants. We all are. But what he wants may not be realistic, and even if it is, it's not my job to help him get it. And at 43 and never married...either he can't form a long term relationship or he won't. If you're not looking for a short term relationship on his terms, whatever those happen to be, then he's a waste of time.