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About clever-username

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  1. clever-username

    Veggie challenge- flexitarian.

    I've been doing this kinda sorta for about a year. My old ob suggested a more plant based diet to help me lose weight. I don't think it really helped (my problem has always been portion control so it doesn't matter what I'm eating I guess) but I will say that I feel less sluggish when I'm not eating as much meat. One of the meals I see the biggest difference in is spaghetti because I do spaghetti squash and lentil meatballs. Gives you that spaghetti and meatballs feeling with none of the need to nap afterwards, haha
  2. clever-username

    I don’t wanna do online dating alone! Vent here

    @caliwoman I'm just about ready to do the same thing. Weirdly enough I tried out Her this past week but I'm not really impressed. About 75% of the profiles are just a picture and a gender so it's like...are you actually single...are you looking to date.... You don't get any information to base your decision on. I'd delete everything to but my problem is my area has literally nothing going on. My mom actually said that she feels bad for me because meeting people is practically impossible and finding someone to date (let alone a woman who is into women) is even worse. It's just so damn depressing sometimes. Especially when people are like 'you need to get out more' and it's like THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!!
  3. clever-username

    I don’t wanna do online dating alone! Vent here

    Isn't that the most frustrating thing? I've had a bunch of people like me so when I liked them back I got the prompt to send a message then...nothing. I think I found out why it is that way though... I read a thing on twitter the other day (granted it was about how straight dudes act on dating sites but I think it's just people on dating sites in general) that said most people don't even look at your profile. They swipe through and go strictly on whether they like your profile pic even the slightest bit so they are liking probably 80% of their matches. But then when you like them back, they'll actually look at your profile to see if they *really are* interested. So, statistically speaking, it's likely half the people that are liking a profile probably are not going to follow up on any initial messages because the person they liked isn't someone they would've swiped right on if they had actually taken two seconds to scroll down to the profile. In conclusion, people suck and don't like to read.
  4. clever-username

    Me in a nutshell

    @Tallish Oh, I didn't say it right, my sister in law is extremely supportive. What I'm worried about regarding the group I met at the party is not being invited back to future parties/possibly being allowed to join their group due to me possibly making one of them uncomfortable. I probably am over thinking but I just can't help it sometimes, especialky since I feel like I screwed up my first shot of possibly making like minded friends by being an awkward weirdo who can't leave well enough alone.
  5. clever-username

    Me in a nutshell

    @moonbynight I mean, I guess she's being awkward too but I feel like I shouldn't have pushed it. I just wish I knew if she was freaked out, mainly because I met her originally at a party that my sister in law's aunts invited us to and I really had a good time because everyone there (excluding my sister in law and brother) were either lesbians or bi-women. I'd never got to be in an environment like that and I really enjoyed how nice it was to relax but now I'm worried I've freaked the aunts' friend out so I won't ever be invited back :/
  6. clever-username

    Me in a nutshell

    I have found the perfect image to show how one half of my brain feels about the other in regards to the stupid decisions I make whilst online dating... Because I was dumb and naive and listened to my terminally optimistic sister in law (who I love to death, don't get me wrong) I liked a girl on okcupid that I'd had my initial message on bumble time out on. Her reasoning was that I sent the message on 4th of July so maybe this girl hadn't had a chance to check her messages before it timed out. I was reluctant to believe it but then when the same girl popped up on okcupid, I (with the encouragement of my sister in law and against the one part of my brain screaming at me not to be a pscyho) decided to try again. Nothing happened so that was that. Then this morning, several days later, I get a message saying that this girl liked me. Hooray, right? No...no..not hooray... Because when I go to hit the notification, I get an error that says the person has either deleted their account or put it on private. And it was then that the wise words of Wayne came to me.... I wish you weren't so fucking awkward, bud...
  7. clever-username

    I don’t wanna do online dating alone! Vent here

    *drops into the thread and grabs a pint of ice cream* Oh boy what a fun two days I've had... So I found somone decent on plenty of fish last weekend. We've been chatting almost constantly for a week: Plenty of Fish lady: "Oh I'm just looking for friends really..." ...then why does your looking for say "looking for relationship"? Then today a chick fron bumble who I though ghosted me starts messaging again..great for me, yeah? Bumble girl: "oh I can't believe I haven't told you this before...I have a fiance..." ...is there no one on dating sites single amd looking to date anymore...
  8. clever-username

    I don’t wanna do online dating alone! Vent here

    I have been on plenty of fish for less than 12 hours and so far I've been messaged by a girl three states away who is either very creepy and pushy or possibly a dude pretending to be a girl and the second person to message me said "hi, i'm looking for unconditional undying love' in their unprompted message *insert gif of judge judy slowly closing a laptop with a haunted look in her eyes* (I'm on mobile) This account may not be around for very long...
  9. clever-username

    Awkward...but not for me...

    So, remember that chick who ghosted me? You do? Good Because I saw her at the grocery store on Friday My mom and I were up at the grocery store on Friday and we ran into my aunt at the one entrance so we stood off to the side to chat, as you do. Well, after we were done, my mom wanted to pick something up from the small display that was down by the self checkouts so I went to follow her with the cart. Nothing weird... ...until I looked up to see ex-lady friend. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have even really noticed her except she had very obviously spotted me and was working extremely hard to blend in with the distinctly crowd-less area she was in. I mean I was worried she'd give herself neck damage with how hard she had her head turned to the side and that she might run into the wall for not looking where she was going. Part of me was a bit shocked that she was going to such lengths to avoid me. What? Did she think I was going to invade her personal space and bother her? Because if that's what she thought, I'm also a bit offended. I am a grown woman capable of respecting people's choices. I wouldn't bother someone who has made it clear that they don't want anything to do with me. Another part of me thought this was hilarious. Because, honey, don't think that I need to chase after you. You're nice and all but I'm not going to bend over backwards to impress someone who doesn't want me. And maybe it's a bit mean of me, but I'm (not so) secretly enjoying this little encounter because I think being starkly reminded that just because you ghost someone doesn't mean you won't see them around town is a fitting reward for not having the balls to handle a situation like this like an adult.
  10. clever-username

    I don’t wanna do online dating alone! Vent here

    So I finally broke down and bought a month of okcupid so I could see who liked me...I wished I hadn't because it's official that this dating site is sort of garbage.... What part of I'm looking for women is unclear? I have only women checked on my profile, nothing else. That is literally all I'm looking for because as personal rule, I do not look for male dates online thanks to too many creepy messages and profiles over the years. W-O-M-E-N is plastered all over my profile. Half my likes were men. (I like how they still give a percentage match on them since the match percentage should a big fat zero because they are goddamn men) Then of course there was the requisite profiles for couples. Again what part of "I'm not looking for a threesome" do these people not understand? Should I post a photo of me with a big sparkly glitter sign that says "Not a damn unicorn" for my profile pic? I think the thing that pisses me off the most about this is, these people think it's okay to bug someone who explicitly said "No, I don't want that". The only good thing is they can't message me because I hit the pass button with a passion. So I guess it's not so much the sight that's garbage, it's just some of the people on it.
  11. (Fair warning I don't have any experience with this) But it sounds like the fact your partner is right there on the phone listening which might be triggering your shyness. So maybe try writing a little script and recording it on your own to send to her? Like a nice dirty recording just for her. That way you can plan out what you want to say (since writing this stuff doesn't bother you) and you can get practice saying it out loud with less pressure. Because if you feel like you flubbed it, you can just record it again. This might help you get more confident about saying the dirty things out loud and it might feel more natural when you work your way to a live conversation. Plus the added bonus of her being able to listen to your practice recordings whenever she wants.
  12. clever-username

    I don’t wanna do online dating alone! Vent here

    I just got back into the online dating game too. So far I haven't gotten too many messages but I will say that I'm annoyed that I can't see who likes me. I mean I know I can just pay to see them but after the time I got duped into paying for an entire year's worth of a dating site, I tend to just stick to the free stuff.
  13. clever-username

    Interlude - Gardening

    Taking an interlude from the turmoil of my love life...I finally made my raised garden beds! I'm am super excited. I've been planning on doing this for years but I've never you know....actually started the process. Which is really a shame since I have prime building materials sitting right there in my yard. My uncle used to work for the railroad so he was able to snag a nice pile of big ass wooden railroad ties. Now that he's older, he gave them to my dad who in turn gave me the go ahead to use them to make these babies: I'll tell you what, those bastards were heavy o.O For the longer ones (a little over 8 ft each) it took me and my brother to lift them up onto the bucket of the tractor. It was a lot of work but totally worth it in the end. Next step...dirt
  14. clever-username

    Shouldn't Have Thought About It Too Long...

    Right? I mean, I know that I really didn't want to call that one guy up and tell him it was over because he was nice. I just wasn't attracted to him at all after several months and that's no way to build a relationship. It wasn't going to work and even though it would have been easier to just not contact him again, I knew he deserved the honesty so I did the grown up thing and made the call.
  15. I made a mistake today... I woke up about 15 minutes before my alarm and instead of getting up and just starting my day early, I let myself lay in bed and think about my relationship problems. Repeat after me, everyone: Because now I'm mad. I have dated four people (an outrageously high number, I know...), two men and two women. Or, should I say, I've attempted to date one man and two women because out of these four relationships, three of them have ended the same. I realized that the other person was not into me because they made no efforts whatsoever after the first week or so of getting to know each other but they didn't have the guts to tell me they weren't interested. So eventually, I wait to see if they will text me back without me asking for a response...and I never hear anything from them again. In case anyone was thinking "Well, wait just a minute, lady; what happened to the other guy?" Well, man #2 was actually interested in me very much but I was sadly not attracted to him at all so I called him and told him it wasn't going to work out...like the goddamn considerate adult I am. And that leads into what I'm pissed about this morning. What about me is so horrible/annoying/boring/etc that I am not entitled to the common courtesy of being told "Sorry, I'm just not into this anymore"? I am very upfront when I date people. I tell them that I am very slow on the uptake on nonverbal social cues so if you need me to know something, it's best to actually tell me what they are thinking/want. And at the time they all say the same thing "Oh, that's great to hear. I hate it when people don't tell me what they are thinking. I'll definitely do that"... And they never motherfucking do... It just makes me so angry to think about. I know that I can be a bit annoying and I tell people that it's okay to tell me to back off. I won't be offended because I know that I'm bad with noticing that oh, it's time to calm down a bit. So even though I am upfront with how I function as a person, it's like they are shocked and pissed liked I lied to them. It's the only explanation I can think of why I apparently don't deserve the courtesy of a text telling me that things just aren't working out. And it makes me sad too. I'm always being told (even by the people that eventually ghost me) that I'm "so nice" and "a great person to be around" but then why does everything always end the same? Are people lying to me to spare my feelings? Because if they are, my feelings don't feel very spared when I have to go through this all the time. It actually hurts a lot to be lied to to build me up when it's starting to seem like it's not true considering the physical evidence I have. Because, if there's something wrong with how I act, how am I supposed to correct it without someone being upfront about it? So yeah...lesson learned, next time just get the fuck out of bed....