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About khichihouvan

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  1. Couldn't have said better myself !!
  2. @Lizzie1967 hey thanks for your post Lizzie. You're right about being paranoid and gaydar being weak and everything in between! : ) I even delete history on my phone each time I visit this site!! Not because my husband is checking my phone (he doesn't have my password nor does he really care for it) but it's something I'm terrified about all on my own. Normalizing new experiences really helps and I again thank you for it. Just not there yet.
  3. I Can empathize. I agree with everyone who had posted on this thread so far. The challenge is to convince our partners that we are not going anywhere and that can't be done unless we find someone and still be with our husband. However, how can we do that unless we let them know and once they know they may think we might leave them and so the inner conflict continues. The only ideal situation (at least for me) is that I am able to find a partner outside of marriage who is either in similar situation or is understanding of it. Husband would know her as my friend. Eventually may Feel that there's something more to our friendship, BUT would just have an understanding and never mention it : ) Super wishful thinking huh?!
  4. I'll second a few of the posters here and say for me similar sense of humour is number one. If you can feel comfortable with someone on that level instantly, it's quite incredible. Authenticity is also what I notice in people fairly quickly and that helps with the "clicking". I had a crush on my personal trainer and I remember the first time I met her, she was just a stranger at the gym but in that one conversation we had several laughs and many f bombs were casually dropped and I felt comfortable with her right away even though I was quite nervous ...weird.
  5. Thanks @Cute&Curious i am not really into dating websites, never done it. I'm of the exact same mind as you that it is best if it happens naturally. I just wanted to ask the ladies here who have been in my place and have found a partner and have had the experience they had longed for. Ask them how they met and how their relationship went forward. Just curious : )
  6. So I've been browsing and reading different posts and I feel like I want to individually reply to most of these posters to say I am in the same boat! It's mind blowing how many of us are out there. By us I mean married women who are happy in their marriage, have a family and don't want to leave but would like more. I was also reading in the same threads that women DO meet other women in these situations and most of the time it turns out pretty incredibly. Married women meeting other women either married or not but who are understanding of the situation It is one thing to express your desire to your partner and them saying yah go for it (or something along those lines even if they are not sure), it's another to actually go out there and find someone. It makes it even more difficult if you add emotional compatibility and connection to the mix. My question is where do you all meet them? How does it really work? Someone like myself who has never been with a woman wouldn't even know where to begin.
  7. Thank you @Vette You are right, it's a great community with pretty incredible ladies.
  8. Thanks for sharing @TBD78, really appreciate it. Your H is quite far ahead in the game than mine. Maybe we will get there some day. I find those conversations so heavy and scray. It is my hope that you and yours find happiness. You are right, sometimes you do have to make things happen to find out what's behind door number 2! I suspect it'll be like going to the gym. That first couple of steps of getting out of bed early and putting your gym clothes on is damn hard but once you get to the gym and get your sweat on, you wonder wtf was I crying about two hours ago?!
  9. Thanks for the warm welcome @Cute&Curious. Yes, I do feel grateful that I am in a pretty decent position. However, I'd rather he just say yes or no. Then the decision would be a tad bit easier. I have no idea how he would feel if in fact I do go through with it and he finds out. I've read it several times on here it worth breaking up a perfectly happy family? Arrrgghh! Thanks again : )
  10. Hey! There you are! And here I was trying to find myself for years! ; ) Thanks NOOBi for the encouragement.
  11. I just wanted to make a short introduction. Glad I stumbled upon this website. Was being a little douche-y and browsing the forums for a few days before mustering up enough courage to actually sign up. Even though, one can be as anonymous as one wants on here, I am still feeling a bit nervous and cautious. Been married for 14 years with two beautiful children. Absolutely in love with my husband. Feel extremely grateful for my life and all that I've been provided. However, just like a lot of ladies on here (remember stalky me was reading up on you guys?!), I have always felt attraction towards other women since forever. I had casually mentioned that to my husband when we were dating and he had made comments like, "oh too bad, you missed your chance" and "let's have a threesome!" We both knew that was just a lighthearted banter going nowhere. Plus, we are not that adventurous. Over the years, we'd talk about who we found attractive and agreed we had the same type! Again, this was all just talk. He is a pretty straight vanilla guy who just happens to be open minded enough to have chats like that. Him and I have an incredible relationship, he is my best friend and our greatest strength is healthy communication. Well, I had a very honest conversation about wanting to have an experience with a woman before I turned 40. Like a goober, I was hoping he'd give me his blessings and maybe even help coordinate! In reality, that conversation got quite intense and I think at that point, he may have realized that I was serious about it ...I had always been serious about it. He basically said that his biggest fear was that I'd leave him for a woman and he will be devastated. That broke my heart. And I kept reassuring him that, that wasn't going to happen. I have told him several times and I've meant every bit of it, that he is all the man I need or want and what I am curious about is something he can't give me. Our last conversation on this topic ended with him saying that he would like me to be happy and we have one life to live so if I want to experiment, I'd have to do it in secret. He wouldn't be able to be ok with it. I don't want to hurt him but I also agree with him that I should be able to experience what I think will bring me joy. I have found certain people attractive off and on throughout my life. I am finding it to be true more so now than before. I have never been with a woman before but I have a very strong feeling that I will love it provided the stars are aligned and the chemistry is there. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't see myself being the initiator. I am hoping it'll all happen organically. That's the only way I can justify it with minimal amount of guilt. Guilt. That's another topic for another day. Sigh. I have NEVER admitted to being bicurious to anyone other than my husband so writing this post has been terrifying as well as liberating. Thanks for reading and thanks for allowing me to be part of this community. I promise to keep my douchery to a minimum! Cheers.