Missme

So I have been doing some research on this and am thinking about talking to my doctor. I dread my period because right before it hits I turn into a huge ball of crazy emotions. I was just curious if any of you ladies have been diagnosed with it and what you are doing to "battle" it. Thanks!

Honest to god I don't know... that's scary as fuck... I just want peace of mind... i think I am ready to go... but i havent a clue how..

Well I finally stood up for myself. It felt fantastic. He decided one night while drinking that he was going to go on a rant for over two hours avout every flaw I have on life. How much I suck about everything while telling me he doesn't mean to be an asshole BUT.... I sobbed. Or lord did I sob. I felt like snail slime. I wanted to kill myself after that... But I didnt. I am stronger than that. I don't my kids hurting because of that. The next morning I calm so eerily calmy went off on him. Without anxiety attacks or anything. I proceeded to tell him I am sick of living like I am walking on egg shells. I am sick of never being able to do anything right. I am sick of being his flaws. He begged for forgiveness. Stated he didn't mean what he said that he was an asshole and went for the throat because of his own shit. I stated i didnt care. Whats said is said. Cannot be undone. Hes begging me for one more chance... im on the fence. (Stupid right??!) But it did feel really good to finally have the courage to tell him how I felt. He has been asking for hugs and cuddles. I am normally a very touchy person. I told him I do not want him near me or touching me right now... he knows I am serious. Should I just leave now before I become his human garbage can again?? Will he really change??

Okay. I know adamandeve.com but what else is out there for good deals and discrete packaging?

I need to Zen out. Like a vacation by myself.

Clearly I'm not important to him. Why you ask? I have made it blatantly clear to him that I would be more then willing for a little nookie. I've flashed him, said sexy things to him and did a few other things. All day. All day. Strike that. All damn week... I have flirted with him. The most I got was a smirk with a "ha". Whenever it comes to sex anymore I have to be the one to litterally drag his ass to the bedroom or where ever. And no he doesn't have anything wrong down. He can clearly get it up to a goddamn porno but not to me. (Walked in on him a few times here lately to a porn.) The porn didn't make me made... it's the him not wanting me anymore. Ugh. I'm sorry I'm just venting. I love this man dearly but I hate the shit I have to go through with him. I should just walk but I don't want our kids to hate me because I left him. I need to grab my tuts and chick up and get the fuck in my own. Easier said then done.

Well screw it. I can only do so much.

I wonder of I am on your mind as much as you are on mine.

So some of you may know I have been struggling this year with my marriage... it's been quiet the rollercoaster ride as of late. But I found this article on tiny Buddha. And wow... it took me back a bit. It's a fantastic read. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/strong-relationships-stem-self-love-develop/?utm_content=buffer09e39&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Thanks. We have been married for 10 years. It's had it's ups and downs but here since may march of 17 it's been a never end slide down. I told him I'd like to go to counseling as a couple. But he refused and said he'd like to get his shit fixed first before we work on our shit... I understand that. But in the same sense I feel like we are on the back burner again... blah. I hate sounding so much like a debbie downer because that is not who I normally am. But this stuff has me so torn and worn.

Update. He has gone back to therapy but... Since he's started his therapy he seems more depressed, more aggravated. He told me that when he tried to look at himself through my eyes all he sees is a villian. That hurt. . Because it's not true. He continued to say some other things about how he think I think of him is bad... it's not. I told him that he's projecting his thought if himself through me. Because I don't seem him like that. He says that's noce to hear that I dont. But he doesn't fully believe me. Ugh. This is all so frustrating... I feel like no matter what I am going to be the blame for all the failures... I wish there was an easy button to fix this.

Some where on a massage table by the ocean.

Why did I think yoga would be a good thing to do today?

I'm so feeling anti social. *plasters fake smile*

Thank you. @noobi