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dirtyshirt84

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About dirtyshirt84

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    Bashful

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  • Music
    80s is my fav!
  • Location
    Scotland
  • Favourite TV Show
    GoT, Vikings, Stranger Things

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  1. Wow, that’s so interesting! That’s cool that you are able to be open about your sexuality and poly relationships. I kind of also did things backwards in that I had a gf when I was at University (my first serious relationship) and then I went in to have relationships with men. When I had a gf everyone assumed I was a lesbian and now I’m with a man everyone assumes I’m straight. Unless I correct them of course... How did you find the women you became involved with? I would open to trying this type of arrangement with my husband but have no idea how to go about it and if it would work. Have you ever read professor marsden and the Wonder Woman? It’s about the creator of Wonder Woman and the poly relationship he had with 2 woman (who went on to have a relationship with each other long after he died). It’s really interesting. I also hope to be more open with my kid when he’s older. Just now I make a point of emphasising that it’s normal to have 2 Mums or 2 dads just as much as one mum and one dad. Realise we have kinda hijacked this thread...haha :)
  2. Yes, I feel like the same - it’s a safe way to express my sexuality (although frustrating sometimes). Have you ever been with a woman, if you don’t mind me asking? Are you quite open about your sexuality? I’m out to a few people but would like to me more open about it. I also have a kid so I feel ya!
  3. This woman was a bit of a control freak, she would say that herself. She’s still in my life but we no longer work together and she’s doesn’t have the same hold over me anymore. Realising I was attracted to her initially hit me like a ton of bricks and set off the process of me properly accepting my sexuality (even though I’d had a gf when I was much younger). So the two things were very connected. It was for a long time definitely a form of torture! But a pleasurable sort of torture? Although I think I knew after a while nothing good would ever come of it. She is a bit of an ego maniac and enjoyed the attention so much. I often suspected I wasn’t the only person she had this type of relationship with. Hopefully it was a one off, I think I’d be wary of getting close to someone with the same type of personality again. I think because I’m in a relationship with a man but so miss being with a woman it might make me vulnerable to this type of thing?
  4. This is really interesting. The women in the first category are good people. I had a similar experience with someone who falls into the second category unfortunately. (Which seems a very common experience for Bi/Gay women??) As you say, more than a friendship, less than a proper relationship. We were both in relationships and worked together, so we spent a lot of time together. I think there was a mutual attraction there, but she never intended to do anything about it. Our relationship definitely crossed boundaries though. Thats interesring that you say if you like giving attention you will draw people who like receiving it. I never thought of myself like that before, but I must like giving it. I think she definitely enjoyed the power and in some ways the control it gave her. I also spent too much time wondering, over analysing and living a fantasy unspoken relationship. If I were ever in a similar situation again, I would definitely cut to the chase. A persons reaction will probably tell you everything you need to know about what kind of person they really are.
  5. Just wondered if anyone else finds it difficult to come out as Bi? I feel like being gay (or of course being straight) would be easier. I sometimes think it’s harder being something in between. How do you come out casually without making a big deal of it? Have you ever felt like you have to explain or justify being Bi? Some people seem to think in the binary where as in reality I think most people can probably experience romantic or sexual attraction to both men and women, although most people have a strong preference?
  6. It is! But we are both in relationships so i dont really know what to do with it :-/
  7. I think this is so true. I recently started a new job and (sorry if tmi), I found myself thinking about one of my coworkers when I was having sex with my husband. I hadn’t consciously realised I was attracted to her at all before that. Anyway, later I found out she is a lesbian, I’m Bi although I’m not out to her yet. I think as you say I must have been picking up on subconscious signals. I feel like there is an energy between us.
  8. I’m out to my partner (a man), my sister and some friends. As I had a gf when I was younger anyone who has known me for a long time knows. Ive recently started a new job and considering coming out to a couple of girls who are lesbians. I think they might suspect. I also find it hard to bring up in conversation and dislike lots of personal questions (that I don’t feel a straight person would be asked). I’d like to be more open about it though so hope to tell more people this year. I don’t want to hide it.
  9. Hey 

    How are you? 

    Just wanted to say thanks for the advice - I forget sometimes that genuine mutual attraction would make itself clear sooner or later regardless of what you identify as.

    Are you also in a hetero relationship? If you don’t mind me asking. Have you been with a woman before? 

  10. I relate to this so much. I definitely think sustained eye contact is something a straight woman would never do and is a big sign of being Bi/Gay and of course of attraction. I definitely do have a gay vibe and always have. Friends of friends have asked if I’m gay and as I said before I’m a bit of a tomboy. I am actually interested in someone. I think she wondered about my sexuality initially and then was probably a bit confused when she found out I have a male partner. She’s a lesbian btw. As you say genuine mutual attraction will eventually make itself clear. I feel this energy between us, even if I’m just standing next to her. And yes, what to do with it is a whole other question... I’m a little reluctant and slightly hesitant about touching other woman as I’m afraid of making them feel uncomfortable. However I feel I should do this more, especially women I’m attracted to that I know are gay. Having said that I’ve hugged this woman several times already so seem to be managing ;)
  11. I definitely have a gay energy I think ;) So hopefully that’s noticeable to others. I’m a bit of a tomboy too so Im sure that’s noticeable as well. I guess I’d like subtle ways to tell others without making a big deal of it. Like maybe saying in passing ‘she’s cute’ or mentioning my ex gf etc?
  12. If you are married/committed to a man how do you tell or signal to other women that you are Bi? Fed up of people presuming I’m straight because I’m married to a man but unsure how to subetly tell people without making it a big deal?
  13. dirtyshirt84

    Scottish Lass

    I’m from Scotland too!
  14. dirtyshirt84

    Pride Month

    I’ll need to go and visit North Yorkshire ;)
  15. dirtyshirt84

    Pride Month

    Anyone doing anything for Pride month? It’s not until July in my city. I’ve never been along to anything but would love to go!
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