Silver Shy-Bi Girl
  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Country

    New Zealand

Community Reputation

14 Good

About Emeliac

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Location
  • Interests
    Surfing, bush walking, rock climbing
  • Signature Fragrance
    Chance by Chanel
  • Favourite TV Show
    Orange is the new black, suites
  • Favourite Film
    Maze runner
  1. I doesn’t mean I don’t want people to know. I came out to a few close friends. But in the work environment? I’m not so sure if it would be appropriate. I work closely with women. If one day I came out to everyone and if they aren’t open minded... would it be awkward?? It will definitely change the way they behave around me. I am not sure if I want that yet. A million dollars question, should I tell her that I am bi too?
  2. No I don’t think so.. or maybe she’s got the vibe?? We work in the same team. We hang out together with other work colleagues sometimes. I was being very careful to not let it slip. At work function last night, She was behaving normally like we have never had the conversation. Only one thing changed, she didn’t give me a hug when she said hi like she used to. Is that weird?
  3. There’s more. She often gives me gifts. Sometimes expensive ones after I helped her with something... I guess it’s a way of her saying « thank you »? She often text me (work related stuff mostly). She’s normally a very private person but become flirty around me. She’s very reserved around other people.
  4. I forgot to mention that she’s married and she has two kids. Isn’t it unusual for her to come out?. I asked if her hubby knew. She said sort of. It was a never serious discussion. Because he never asked so she didn’t see the point of bringing it up.
  5. I have a friend whom I am not so close to came out to me. As we were discussing about a mutual friend who’s daughter just came to her. She casually said that she’s bi and she wanted to know how it feels to be on the other side of the fence (as a parent). She said it’s not a secret. Her family and some of her friends knew. She wouldn’t deny it if someone ask. She didn’t think her sexual preference is of anyone’s concern. Why do you think she told me that?
  6. When i am with her, i enjoy the moment. We had a lot of laughs and I never wanted the conversation to end. This is the first time i tried to push her away and I intend to keep it that way. Whereas before, it was her that has been pushing me away countless times especially after she has shown interest in me or I had shown interest in her. All of the sudden, she stopped responding to my messages and talking to me in a heaps formal way instead of being friendly as usual. It’s confusing really. To be honest, I am not sure what I really want. I have never been in a relationship with a woman before so I really don’t know what to expect. we are married. I don’t expect her to leave her husband for me and neither will I. I just want to make her happy, I want to be there for her when she needs someone, and I want to know if she felt the same way. I guess what I want is a romantic partner.
  7. It was a tough day today. So I started being cold to her and so was she. It was like we were trying to do the same thing. It hurts every time i see her knowing i can’t have her. I tried to avoid talking to her or looking at her. I had to force myself to turn my back on her. I cried in my car after I left work. It was such an overwhelming feeling. If this is what it’s going to be like every day then how am I suppose to cope with such painful feeling?
  8. I’m going back to work on Monday. I don’t know if I should talk to her and make it clear that I don’t want us to cross the boundary and maintain our relationship to just work colleagues or should I slowly reducing our contact and limit to just work related without saying a word. The later is hard to do because I am very direct. I say what I want most of the time. I don’t like the guessing game it’s exhausting! What if she said friendship was all she ever wanted. Would that makes things awkward between us?
  9. I know exactly how you feel. That’s exactly how I would describe my husband and my marriage. I really don’t know how to fix it. I just got really tired of trying for far too long. Recently, I’ve shifted my focus to my career and it has driven us even further away.
  10. So I’ve decided. As much as I love spending time with her, chatting to her and seeing her big beautiful smile, I think it’s best that we draw the line here. I really don’t know if we keep going like this, where this is leading us to. One thing I know for sure is there will be heartbreak. It hurts to love someone you can’t have. I just don’t know how to back away without things becoming awkward between us.
  11. To be honest, I don't know if I want a sexual relationship. I admit the thought has crossed my mind although I have never been with a woman... I know I want a romantic relationship but that's also wrong. My husband doesn't know I'm bi. I don't think he will that open minded. He's a great dad but not a loving and caring husband. He moved himself out of our bedroom for a while now. i know he loves me as a person but not sure if we are still in love. I'm good looking, I'm educated and I am a good mum. But I don't know why my husband doesn't find me attractive. I have been trying really hard to make him happy but I just got tired because it seems like I was the only one trying. Getting the attention I'd got from my boss was refreshing. when I said I'm not going to leave my husband, it's just for the sake of my children.
  12. I know there’s no future there. We might ended up sabotage both of our career. It will impact her the most cause I know how much she loves her job. I only plan to work for this company only three years anyway and she knew that. A friend of mine asked what if the feeling is mutual. Would I leave my husband for her? At this point, the answer is definitely a "no". I just love the connection and attraction we have. The kind that, I have never felt with anyone before. I will be devastated if we stopped talking one day.
  13. According to her, she’s not an affectionate person especially to her husband. I have never seen her came in contact with anyone physically. Couple of weeks ago we went out for a drink, it was almost midnight when I got a text from a work colleague. She looked at my phone screen and asked me why did the colleague texted me? she was a bit of a sticky beak I think. This colleague used to ask me out on a drink and my boss accidentally overheard it.
  14. So I have an update. Let me know what You guys think. I’ve just started a new position. I still have to do a training for a month before I start working in her team. She has been working from home for nearly two weeks now because her son has some health issues. We talked almost every day. Our conversations would go on for 30mn- 1.5hr. On the day we didn’t talk on the phone, we sent messages. We are keeping in touch every day. The content wasn’t all about work. We like to talk about meaningful things, we have a lot in common and our values are align. I can tell from the tone of her voice that she was happy that I called and she's always available for a talk or a chat even how busy she is. We have been a lot closer that she comfortably drank off my glass, eat off my plate, placing her arm next to mine touching like it was nothing. I don't know if I have been delusional or there's something there. She obviously knows that I like her but I don't know if she was just trying to be nice. I'm just a massive nerd who knows how to dress up but when it comes to this sort of things... I have no clue!
  15. If you have an answer to that, let me know. I’m not far behind