annak

Ladies... I did write a short 1st installment in a separate thread. Thanks for your suggestions!

The first time. Yes, that first time... In the beginning when really contemplating being sexual with a woman, I was convinced I could never be a "downtown" girl. Fantasizing about being with a woman, I was always a pillow princess. I was really torn about going down on someone. I didn't think I could. In reality... it was quite a different story. I hesitated oh, about 0.5 nanoseconds. I couldn't wait to explore every inch of her. It was probably the most sensual experience I have had. Thank goodness she was in no rush and made that first experience so damn sexy. I love to visit downtown as often as possible! How bout you ladies? Where you a DT girl your first time too?

Thanks for the feedback. I make no apologies for the way I feel. I also would not consider the way I feel a flaw, though some may think so. I like relationships with women, I just don't feel connected in the same way I do with a man. I am a very friends first, through, and hopefully if and when that relationship ends. Trust is trust with men or women. I think that is what is built through friendship. When the relationship grows or wanes; at the end of the day,we can only hope we have enriched each other. I have no issues with having feelings. Dammit I love to feel, means I'm alive! I like to share my feelings, I am not emotionally stingy. If I like you, you know it. But why does that have to translate into being in love? That is the dilemma. @noobi, the last line cracked me up. I have met people that were such an instant turn on, that spark could not be denied. But jumping in the sack with someone I don't know, not my thing. But some really hot kissing is not off the table if I am attracted to someone I just met. I hope you get to experience whatever it is that you want. @Hungry thank you for your insight. Yes, I feel like I've grown two heads sometimes. @FlaGrl08 I appreciate the answer from a woman who does have that ability to fall in love with a woman. It is nice to hear from a different perspective and non judgey wudgey. Chicken soup for all! Thank you ladies:)

Discuss your bi sexual journey... I am honest in my relationships. I'm not perfect, but I try to be up front when it comes to feelings. I love women. I love men. I can only be in love with men. Soooo, being on the up and up I try to explain to women, I love being really great friends with the most awesome benefits. That's it. I am not emotionally stunted, you are not going to change me, please don't tell me I am afraid of discovering I am capable of having romantic feelings with a woman, If I was gay, I would be gay. And more power to me. NO. I am just not designed that way. Like me for me, I'll like you for you. So why get angry at me or tell me I'm intentionally hurting you when your feelings change and mine don't. I don't want a threesome, I don't want to be a girlfriend, I just want to enjoy your company and have some really fantastic sex, or some super hot make outs, or going for coffee and talking about everything. I want to be involved, but I don't want to be your partner. Why is sometimes so difficult to understand I like being your side chick... your friend, confidant, lover, shoulder if you need it, your go to girl. I'll even make you soup when your sick. But just because I can't be in love with you, doesn't mean I can't love you. That doesn't make me an emotional chicken. Is it just me? Please someone out there tell me it's just not me.

I would have to agree with ChemFem and mladylove. Reach out to the Lesbian meet up admin, or look for Bi Meet ups. I don't think it's a good idea to lie. I mean what's the point of lying? Chances are no one is going to ask you about your sexuality credentials. If you begin a conversation and it happens to come up, you can politely say I prefer not to discuss my sexuality until I get to know you, or tell them the truth. It's not like you are going to be chased out of the room. LOL. I probably would not want to go on my own, ( I'm a chicken sometimes ) so I think I would probably find a meet up that involved an activity I enjoyed. That way you already have plenty to talk about, and hopefully meet a lot of new friends who like the things you do! Good luck!!

Not that! Actually, I write, or at least attempt to. I write about my experiences and instead of journaling I put them into a story format. I like to read erotica, so I thought what better way to share than to write about it? Sometimes I do write some fictional aspects into a story, but as an embellishment. I try to keep these stories based on experience and if they are embellished I would say so. Names have been changed. I have never, ever put any of my stories out publicly, so please be gentle in your critiques. This is actually scary as hell. Any way, it was suggested that I may want to do short and sweet increments. So here it goes. Part 1. I Won't Ask Twice. “Come here” I said softly. I looked up over the rim of my wineglass and stared directly into her eyes. I took a long sip and deliberately slowly licked my lips. As she stared at my full lips I took my bottom lip between my teeth, and gently bit its softness. When I did, she noticeably shifted in her seat. “I said come here”. My voice low and sensuous. She slowly rose and stood unsure of whether she should move forward. She knew that if she did, there would be no stopping. I leaned against the wall with my arms crossed, I casually tossed down the remainder of my wine and said, “I’ll not ask ask again and I never like to have to ask twice”. Emile stood rooted to the spot. I shrugged and push myself from the wall. “No wait”! Emile nearly shouted. She walked without hesitation and stood in front of me. Her green eyes questioning, even a little afraid. I reached out and lightly cupped her shoulders and slowly ran my hands down her arms. They stopped as I entwined my fingers around hers. I looked into her eyes and watched her breath come in short gasps. I could feel the hard pulse in her fingers. Her desire and fear evident on her face. I abruptly pulled her hands behind her back and spun her so her back was against the wall. An unexpected OH! escaped her lips. I held her hands tightly in mine, sure to let her know I was not releasing them. I leaned in and softly kissed her warm neck. She was trembling but did not try to release from my grasp. I gently nibbled the tender flesh of her neck and she moaned softly as I slowly ran my tongue from her throat to her ear. I lightly licked her lobe and whispered low so my breath would warm the wetness my tongue had left on her sensitive ear. “Don’t make me ask you for anything more than once again”. She nodded slowly. “Say it”, I whispered as I gently bit her pale neck. “I won’t make you ask more than once again” Emile replied, her voice shaking with desire. I know she was turned on. So turned on, as was I. I haven’t touched her with my body and I wasn’t going to. Not yet. “I’m going to let your hands go, but I want them in your back pockets and don’t remove them until I tell you”. She nodded yes looking directly into my eyes as I released her hands with a gentle squeeze. I kissed her deeply and achingly slow. My lips lightly brushing against hers, “Say it” I softly demanded as my tongue lightly licked her full lips. “I won’t take my hands out of my back pockets until you tell me to” she said as our lips rubbed ever so softly against each other. “Good. Thats’s good” I whispered. I ran my hands through her dark auburn hair, my fingertips traveling gently down her neck. I felt her heart racing as my hands skimmed lightly across her breasts. She involuntarily sucked in her breath, my hands traveled down to rest on her hips. I took a step back and she said “please don’t stop”. “Don’t stop what Emile”? “Touching me, I want more”. “What do you want?" I asked softly. She replied quickly, “I want your hands on me, I want you to make me feel more of what I’m feeling”. My fingertips slowly skimmed across her breasts.”You mean like this?" “Yes” she whispered quickly. I cupped her breast in my hands and gently squeezed the fullness of them and trailed my fingers slowly down their sides. Her nipples quickly hardened and I slowly brushed them back and forth as they grew even more erect. “Oh god” she said through gritted teeth as she rolled her head and clenched her fists in her back pockets. I teased her nipples with my fingertips and increased the pressure as I cupped her breasts harder in my hands. I slowly unbuttoned her blouse, and as I undid each button I would run my hands lightly across the silkiness of her full breasts. She was panting lightly as I slid her blouse down her arms. My hands lightly resting on her shoulders, gently caressing her soft skin. My fingers slowly skimmed the top of her bra where her warm flesh met the delicate lace. Her nipples were erect and the sheer fabric was taught across them, brushing against them, also teasing. I gently rolled the hardened points between my fingers and she moaned aloud. “Oh god that feels so good”. I trapped the hard points between my fingers as I slowly ran them between my fingers in long light strokes. Her breath sucked in between her teeth,” Oh fuck” she moaned. I jerked the lace down and pinched her nipples hard. “Please. mmm, oh please” she pleaded through clenched teeth. I leaned down and lightly licked one taught nipple as I pinched and squeezed the other gently. Her head whipped back and forth as she rubbed her thighs together. “Watch me do this to you” I said in a voice low and husky filled with lust. I alternated, gently sucking on each nipple as my other hand caressed and squeezed her warm, creamy breast. My nails ran lightly across each breast and ever so slowly over the darkened aerolas. She shuttered. I sucked and kissed her beautiful breasts as she watched. Her pussy squirming across the knot in her tight jeans. I sucked harder in response to her moans. I pinched harder knowing I was causing slight pain and she moaned even louder. I greedily sucked her swollen nipples as I released them from my fingers. My hand trailed down her belly and I slowly unzipped her jeans as she squirmed. “Yes please touch me” she whimpered. “No!" She looked up quickly at the sharpness of my voice. She was confused; and before she could ask why, I leaned into her and I kissed her as pressed hard against her. I quickly said “I want to fuck you so badly right now I have to stop Just let me kiss you because I want this to last. Do you want this to last”? “Yes, she replied. “I do. I want you to tell me what to do next”....

Scary yes... But also liberating! We have all been there, so welcome to the here:) I am new to the site as well, but it has been fantastic so far.

I really don't like the labels. I think it's confining and stereotyping to a degree. But I do see how to a person just beginning the exploration of their sexuality, a definition of a feeling makes them feel less alone and perhaps more knowledgeable. Just as I did when I kept getting the ? upon describing myself. I think there are people who want to define a "type" so they can use it to bash people over the head too. I mean come on, sex and love have been here since the beginning of mankind. Why does a name have to turn into a radical statement within our own? I know there are some hard line people that think a Bi woman is a cop out lesbian or it's a gateway to go live in lesbian town. I am neither. I just like what I like and I am ok with the label of Me, because I am good with Me. I also don't want to war over a name. If some women do not like me because I like my cake and really like to eat it too. (yes, pun intended) then that's their issue not mine. I also say you be whom ever, you do what ever and and I'll do me. I was just wondering, and I certainly do love seeing all the different point of views here. Thank you all for sharing.

I'm not even gonna lie, my sexuality is a bit of an obsession. I made the decision to stop fantasizing and finally act upon the desire that was so strong it was making me crazy. Once I did, and awoke my sexual self, it was like discovering Santa Claus really does exist. Ok maybe not, but it has impacted me in ways I could have never imagined. I feel more confident, more alive inside, and actually much more open to the world around me. Weird? IDK? But the more I learn about myself and being able to discuss with other women, the more empowered I feel personally. But I sometimes find when I explain my feelings to other women, they are like huh? So of course to the internet I go... Heteroromantic bisexual... those who are attracted to both women and men but are exclusively romantically involved with members of the opposite sex. Yep! That's me. I have my "LABEL" But wait, someone said, no that's actually heteroromantic homosexual. Another says, "You are pansexual or fluid sexual" I'm now confused. I'm neither entirely heterosexual nor entirely homosexual. Therefore; I think I will go back to the label of ME. Do you guys think labels are important as an identifier, an easier means to explain your feelings or just a bunch of bs?

I'm new here and still getting my bearings. I have some short stories I have written and it may be they are too long for the forum. Do y'all prefer to read stories short and sweet or a little longer? Or at all? I'm trying to decide to post here or in a blog. Personally I love to read ww erotica, but I notice the postings in this particular forum are a little older. What say you ladies?

Thanks for sharing everyone. I appreciate the candor.

@ViolettaThank you:)

@ChemFem Let us all walk triumphantly away from the tracks.... That is awesome.

Poof! Gone with no explanation. What?? I had a friend, or at least I thought... I had a great conversational relationship with this woman for about a year. We spoke at least once a week, email and texted each other often. She lived very far away and at the time, we were both married to our mutual spouses. She still living with hers, I was separated. Neither of us were "out" in any form within our personal lives. I had experiences, she had not. The majority of our conversations were about ourselves, our families, our jobs and yes... at times convos were very naughty;) We considered ourselves friends. We were able to talk about the things we really couldn't with anyone else. Just before she vanished, she had expressed she was sure no matter how much she wanted to be with a woman, she knew she probably wouldn't. I respected that, but I didn't take it as bye just due to the fact we would probably never physically be together. That wasn't what "us" was about. There was no decision to stop talking, as one would probably do given the time. One day talk, the next day nothing! She stopped answering any communication. I didn't chase her, but I wanted to make sure she was ok. After a week, I stopped trying to reach her. A year later, she emails me an apology, "I'm sorry" was all it said. I told her I missed our discussions and I was sorry she chose to leave in that manner. I was ok with her choice, it just could have been a more respectful exit. Hoped she was good. Nothing. Have never heard from her again. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Short term / long term friendship, romantic relationship or sexual relationship? It really bothered me. Maybe it still does. Maybe that's really why it's called Ghosting.

I chose mine bc no matter how much drama, conflict, or F***ery is going on in life...as happens sometimes. I'm never gonna throw myself under the metaphoric train. Life is just too damn good and the bs passes. The anti Anna Karenina. Annak