Mandolin

Silver Shy-Bi Girl
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About Mandolin

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  1. Ugh, hungover a bit myself. No, can't say I have slept with anyone who was supposedly in a committed relationship. Dating others, yes, but that's different I suppose. Nor have I ever 'cheated' on my partner. @Apsalar15 being ghosted sucks! Have experienced that side of things. For anyone, have you ever ghosted on someone who was into you? If so, what made you take that approach to cutting things off? I'm not so naive to think that everyone is worthy and capable of having that open, honest 'break-up' talk....sometimes you just gotta run from cray-cray!!
  2. Haha k.d. lang's 'Constant Craving' just now playing on my 90's mix station. So true...
  3. Shit forgot to leave a question. Have you ever crossed the line with a friend and it pretty much immediately ruined your friendship?
  4. Haha I suppose my answer is the same as yours! Hmmm makes me wonder, is it smart or stupid?? I feel like I have options maybe? Hmmm what to do what to do... Ugh I usually err on the side of caution. I don't REALLY want to sleep with so-and-so, I'm just fucking lonely, ya know? Yeah cider's kicking in haha
  5. Haha ok sleep well. I understand the frustration! At least you have your man, that's good! I am single for the first time in over a decade. Intimacy died in my relationship a few years ago. Very much looking forward to dating again! So for anyone wanting to play this game, what is the stupidest or smartest thing you've done to cure your own loneliness?
  6. I'm about to crack open a bottle of homemade hard cider. Yeah buddy So @Apsalar15 why tipsy tonight? Just for fun or is there more to it?
  7. @mystical1 great song! This has been one of my fave tracks recently. Not so good when it pops up on my Pandora at work haha...I tend to get lost in it for a few minutes. Everything about it speaks to me - the lyrics, his voice, the instrumentals, the relative dissonance between the purity of the supporting music vs the rock edge of the vocals - perfect. Thank you for sharing
  8. My signature fragrance is the original Curve for men - Amber bottle. It's not too masculine, and frequently earns me compliments from both women and men! Soap - Irish spring usually Lotion - this is where I'll mix it up if the curve is just feeling like too much. Bath n body works has a ton of awesome scents of course but I probably like the cherry blossom best.
  9. Bachelor of arts in music here - you know, one of those degrees parents try to talk you out of? Haha yeah, totally not using it as I work in business/accounting.
  10. Omg that's an easy one - world news for sure! Small town here, years behind the 'modern' world haha. They tend to be very narrowly focused on local stuff, and only bring up world topics as it suits them. Morning eggs: fried or scrambled?
  11. Right? Very nice imagery @Kailee! Sounds very nice, relaxing. I do miss the beach so much! Grew up going to Daytona and Tampa Bay all the time. Naples was my fave in FL. Sand dollars everywhere, soft, light sand that was like silk on your toes... As for fav place in NE, I'd have to say Lake Champlain. Loved kayaking and fishing there!! The mountain view from the VT side, looking towards NY, beautiful!
  12. Again, I feel like we are on opposite sides of the same coin, so to speak. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I think my friend has been trying to return our friendship to its former glory as well and I find myself getting more and more irritated by it. I'm not saying that what I'm feeling is definitely what your crush friend is feeling, but there may be similarities I suppose. This is purely my experience...take from it what you will...and sorry for the novel! We were great friends and coworkers, and we got very close. Close mentally, emotionally, and a few times physically but yet reserved (nothing like your dancing adventures!) Yes, we were somewhat flirty with each other and really connected deeply with eye contact, deep conversations, etc. I do incidentally also find her attractive. However, I never thought anything about the nature of our friendship beyond just that: friendship. I too am recently out of a relationship (10 years with a great woman, we just grew apart), and my friend had been a wonderful support throughout the slow breakup. She is married to a man, and I figured she was just one of those women who could really connect and tended to be flirty. Yet was completely straight. No big deal - they're everywhere! After my breakup became 'official,' she took it up a notch. Constant flirting, compliments, gazing into my eyes waaay longer than appropriate. Told me her marriage was just a business relationship for their kids. Cut her wedding band off her finger after 20 years and communicated to me vaguely about the circumstances. Told me she loved me, loved our friendship, loved the way I made her think, said I was cute, complimented my haircut (short n spiky), my perfume, my clothes. Always finding reasons to be near me, call me, talk to me, etc. On my side, I slowly grew to see a potential relationship here. I mean, who wouldn't with all of that attention?! The tension built for about 2 months. There came a point where it was 1am, we'd been drinking a bit and talking deep stuff in a hotel room (work trip) for hours. I wanted her so badly then, and I just knew that if I made a move, she'd reciprocate. But I didn't, not without being crystal clear about what she wanted. I knew her marriage was rocky, but felt I had no right to tread on it. So I tried to talk to her about everything. Told her I was attracted, and that I felt I was getting signs she felt the same. I told her that the line between friends and more was getting fuzzy, would she help me define it? I was so nervous, bumbling, really. It didn't come out right, and she ended up misinterpreting my message to 'hey this is fuzzy, you're sending me all these signals, knock it off.' Oi.... We talked again a week later. I confirmed that she was confused about what I'd said and I clarified my feelings. I got the feedback I was looking for and she asked a lot of questions. Essentially her answer was that she'd never had a female friend like me, she liked me a lot, but didn't want to pursue a romantic relationship. I reeled for a bit from the rejection, but tried to respect where she was coming from despite my belief that she wanted more. Weeks passed and there was some distance but for the most part I felt good about our friendship staying intact. These things take time... Meanwhile I joined an online support group, made some actually awesome online friends, spent more time with family, etc. These things kept me busy and my mind off my friend...for the most part. Fast forward a bit again. I was struggling with a few things - grief for a lost family member, trouble with my former partner, etc. I let my friend know that I was having a hard time. Her response was literally to turn around and walk away! I don't know if she just thought I needed 'a moment' or that I was upset over her, or what? This kind of thing happened a couple of times. It pissed me off because I ALWAYS ask her what's wrong, console her, and listen to her vent about whatever's troubling her when she's having a bad day. Why couldn't she reciprocate? I tried to initiate stuff outside of work (lunch, drink after, etc) and every time, she turned me down/made some excuse. At that point I was like, fuck it, I guess that's it. But whatever, we still work together and I figured as long as we can keep working together professionally, fine. I don't need all the extra drama right now in my life anyway. Then, last week, out of nowhere, she started in on the flirty shit again. Like, hardcore! Comments, eye contact, getting close to me, flaunting a new skirt and making me really investigate the damn thing in my office, saying she missed us talking/hanging out, etc. Her behavior made my head spin, and not in a good way. When I didn't play along for a couple of days, she became sulky? I guess for lack of a better word. It culminated in her declaration to me that she felt work was coming between us as friends, eyes teared up to the brim. I told her that although there have been some challenges at work, I thought it was 'other stuff' that really came between us. At this point the tears spilled out and she backed out of my office, mumbling stuff I couldn't hear. A few minutes later, her office door slammed (I'm assuming it's related). We have not spoken privately since. I'm upset, to a point. In a way, I just want to walk away. On the other hand, I do care for her and recognize that she's unhappy and likely struggling to make sense of her feelings for me, or perhaps her sexuality as a whole. But the way she's going about it....not working for me at all! I want open, honest conversations, regularly. No games, no assumptions. I don't think I'm going to get that. Again, I don't know if anything here will speak to you, but I do wish you the best.
  13. Oooh Indian - I can't get it where I live now! Miss it so.... Car or truck?
  14. Congratulations for getting to this point in your life! It sounds like chapter 2 is truly yours to create and you're off to an exciting start! I too am starting a new chapter and am eager for new opportunities in all areas of my life. I wish you the best with your new lady friend. Hoping one comes into my life as well!
  15. White! Or rose, if I'm needing something sweeter. A terrible storm comes through and you have to make a choice for a week: no electricity or no running water?