Bea10

Members
  • Content count

    5
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  • Last visited

  • Country

    United States

Community Reputation

34 Excellent

3 Followers

About Bea10

  • Rank
    Bashful
  • Birthday 10/19/1964

Profile Information

  • Music
    Love all music!
  • Location
    NJ
  • Interests
    Crafts,outdoors,nature
  • Signature Fragrance
    Egyptian goddess oil
  • Favourite TV Show
    The L Word, The Walking Dead,Grace and Frankie,Empire
  • Favourite Film
    Ghost,Interview with a Vampire,Practical Magic

Recent Profile Visitors

412 profile views
  1. The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new.

                                                                                     -Socrates

  2. Thanks CR- He is doing much better. He is staying nearby-his work is also local. He went back to work . He is talking more and listening. I know he really loves and cares about me. I love him too-but not IN LOVE with him. I am being patient with him and trying to understand his side. Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude and kind heart while waiting. I am continuing my relationship with my special woman and it is wonderful to speak openly about her. I feel the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.:)
  3. I am a  down to earth caring person who hides a thousand feelings behind the happiest smile.:)

    1. JadeBleu15

      JadeBleu15

      Keep smiling, praying you find peace soon.

    2. Bea10
    3. shazza21

      shazza21

      I think we all do. Its part of being a caring human xx

  4. We spoke quite a bit last night. He was calm and more himself. He feels he needs time to get away and think. So I still am unaware if it is permanent or not. It seems like he wants to understand. We are all ok here-Thank you for all the concerns. I'm seeking counseling also. I will post daily updates of how things are coming along. .
  5. Thanks for directing me .He has left now and I can take charge of my life and find my path. I appreciate the support.
  6. Hi, Thanks so much for the response. Reading it made me feel not so alone. Today we talked quite a bit and he is trying to understand and accept it. It is either going to take a long time or our relationship will end. I am hoping we can work things out mutually. Hugs back-Bright Blessings!
  7. I got Orange My fav colors have always bin Purple and Black!
  8. I have been going through a real tough time with husband dealing with my Bi sexuality. I think the realization that the person he married and thought he new really well for past 18 years- is not the person he knew at all has been devastating to him. It seems like the biggest issue for him is that I am attracted to women. If I was attracted to another man, at least he'd feel confident I still have attraction to him. But since I am attracted to women-it makes him feel that he can never full fill me completely in our relationship, which is probably true..To him It is a whole lifestyle lie.By coming out later in life , it also feels harder to get acceptance from family/friends. Especially being married for 17 years with children.I was hoping something could be worked out in our relationship, but he feels it is all him or nothing. Those of you who have understanding husbands should be proud of their unconditional love for you. Mine just seems to be manipulating me to feel sorry for him and to change who I really am inside.I cannot change who I am and what I feel in my heart. Sometimes our path in life leads us in a different direction than what we had planned-it can be a good thing. I just want to have the strength to move forward and be proud of who I am.
  9. I got 56% Lesbian 34% Bisexual 10% bi curious
  10. Thanks Lizzy
  11. No family/friends nearby. He came back home from errands looking better, but he claims he keeps having anxiety attacks and it's hard to be in public, with always thinking about me-what I am doing,who I am with or talking to-etc. He is in the family room now alone watching tv, but If I stay upstairs too long doing anything, he gets more depressed again. But if I do sit with him, he keeps holding his chest, and mumbling things under his breath. I ask him what he said-he tells me never mind or don't worry about it. It has been like this for a week now.
  12. He seems very depressed-but strange to happen all of a sudden after so long of a non intimate relationship. He told me he's never be violent with someone he loves, but he can be a violent person.In the 17 years I have been with him-I never saw a violent side of him. He has always had a controlling type of personality and I think he doesn't like the fact of not having control. We have 6 boys. 5 living home. Oldest age 23 is adopted and mine- 4 biological boys are ours ages 10-18. Two oldest are aware of what is going on. My mom also lives with us age 77 and she is homophobic , but staying neutral in the situation. I gave up relationship with my woman friend for him, and he still isn't happy. He is obsessed with thinking if I go for a walk, to store or anywhere alone, I will meet another woman who clicks with me again. He just can't accept any of it. If he does leave, which would be best, as I really don't feel comfortable with him anymore-he is the major wage earner and there will be issues with kids and mom also. Just such a mess right now.
  13. Thank you for the responses. I am having a really hard time.He is constantly saying things under his breath that hurts me, he goes from ,"we will work this out" to " "I will never be able to get over this." The marriage is not going to work. But if we split, I will lose so much. I'm giving him some time, but he still didn't go back to work-says he's too depressed yet. He sits alone in the dark holding a knife(SAYS IT'S HIS TOTEM AND GIVES HIM STRENGHTH), when I talk to him, he looks up at me like he's surprised I'm there , then smiles and says"-hey baby ." I'm finding it creepy and uncomfortable. He just went out to do errands and I'm am so relieved-I can get on here without worrying he is looking to see what I'm doing. He gravitates to me if I'm on the computer,tablet or answer my phone. He doesn't trust me. He is putting a lot of pressure on me to feel sorry for him and sorry that I am attracted to women.I'm still trying to figure out what to do next- Thanks for the support..
  14. Hi and Happy New Year to everyone.I have been married for 17 years- my second marriage to a man. All my male relationships have had issues and for the past 10 years I have a longing that I am missing something. I did have a relationship with a female when in my teens-went no where as it was unacceptable in society and my upbringing/family. This past summer I became very close to another woman and it felt wonderful .My husband cannot accept it even knowing years ago that I was attracted to women and now is depressed and angry at me constantly.He doesn't want the marriage to end, but will not share me and constantly makes me feel guilty for how I feel.. It would be so great to meet others in my/or was in my predicament.I love my husband, but still cannot get passed feeling something is missing for me.