LavenderMage

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About LavenderMage

  • Rank
    Bashful
  • Birthday 07/15/1982

Profile Information

  • Location
    Hampton Roads area
  • Interests
    Drawing, writing, YouTube gaming channels, 8-bit and 16-bit games, fanfics (the weirder the better), knitting, MST3K, Tumblr, Twitter, educational and true crime podcasts
  1. I know, it doesn't make sense. Why would a woman want to fantasize about a guy who wouldn't be into her? But I've entertained it. The fantasies sometimes include sex, but it's never mindblowing; it's more adorably awkward from his end. It also seems more pure, more about trying to figure out what sex with a woman is like, and how he can make it good for her. He may find it interesting, but it doesn't drive him wild. Other times, it's just a deep friendship that borders on romantic, but neither of us cross that line. Like hand holding and cuddling on the couch. I'm guessing this stems from my desire for a more emotionally fulfilling relationship, one that's less physically demanding. Am I the only woman who's thought about this?
  2. I'm just recovering from a nasty cold that took me out of commission for four days. I think this is the worst one I've had in a long time. It almost felt like the flu, with body aches, but I didn't really run a fever. I was hit the worst out of anyone in my household; everyone else seemed to take two days off and then get back at it. I'm an absolute baby when it comes to sore throats. There wasn't a throat spray or lozenge in the world that could help me. Thankfully, that only lasted for a couple of days. (Two agonizing, seemingly interminable days...) Strangely enough, I think sipping warm mulled wine might have helped me relax enough so I wouldn't concentrate on the worst of my symptoms after those two days. Alcohol usually doesn't have that effect on me. My voice is still hoarse and I'm sneezing a lot. It's going to be fun being at work... I hope everyone else has been able to avoid getting sick, but if not, I hope you get better soon!
  3. After going for a standard checkup, I found out that my cholesterol has skyrocketed. And despite looking thin, I'm actually chubby; my belly hangs over my belt, but you wouldn't know it unless I was shirtless. It's not a pretty sight and sometimes I struggle to breathe after eating or while bending down. I'm going to minimize meat, include more vegetables, fruits, and nuts into my diet. I also plan on incorporating tabata into my weekly activities. I'm pretty active at my inventory job, but it's not enough to get the heart pumping. And since the exercise is usually four minutes long, I have no excuse to not do it.
  4. I recently started Mario Odyssey. It's such a fun game, gorgeously made. Even Mario seems to have a sense of wonder about the places he's visiting.
  5. I've been a KitH fan since I was 13. It was the show my parents wouldn't have let me watch if they'd known, but I enjoyed getting away with it. (I was a sheltered child.) I spotted their mini-series "Death Comes to Town" on TV one day and it rekindled my interest in the troupe. I bought the entire series on DVD years ago, but I like to look up certain clips on YouTube for a mini marathon. I love how they experimented with the absurd and surreal. A lot of their material might be considered tame by today's standards, but back in the 90s, their show caused some controversy (especially when it dealt with sex and sexuality; Scott Thompson, who's openly gay, was often a target). I also think that they portrayed women pretty well. They could never keep women in the group back when they performed in theaters--they would move on to bigger and better projects--so they had to play female characters. And it was never mocking or degrading. Their ladies ran the gamut of being the straight men (ha ha) to being just as nutty as the male characters. The humor came from the writing and not the drag. If you search for any clips, I should warn you that some of them do contain comedic violence... and some fake blood. Especially the doctor sketches. Quite a bit of dark humor. (That might explain a lot about myself, actually... )
  6. I love fanfiction, especially well written ones. I skimmed a few RPF (real person fanfiction) about my favorite YouTubers, but some were kind of... eh. I did find a few steamy Game Grumps pieces (Arin x Jon) a couple of years back. I keep certain scenes filed away for when I need an erotic boost. I keep searching for good Asagao Academy fanfics, but too many of them seem rushed. There wasn’t enough time to explore new routes or possible relationships. I’ve been wanting to write some fanfic, but I have my original works to consume my free time. *sigh* Maybe I can set aside a couple of hours a week and write my own Asagao Academy story. Besides well written fanfic, nothing entertains me more than a troll fic. Not a mean, nasty one, but something so utterly ridiculous that you know the writer did it to give everyone a good laugh. One particular piece that stands out in my mind is a Vinny Vinesauce x Barry B. Benson (Bee Movie) story. I’d never laughed so hard. Someone here mentioned My Immortal. I’m currently re-reading The Draco Trilogy. Keep me in your thoughts.
  7. Ian MacLeod AKA Brutalmoose. He can be a little cynical and sarcastic, but he's really a thoughtful guy dealing with the negative effects of an anti-gay religious upbringing. He's come a long way, and now he's on a personal mission to find what makes him happy. His videos never fail to make me smile; even the older ones are worth revisiting.
  8. When I was younger, sure, I'd check out the other girls (and then quickly tell myself that it was wrong). I'm in my mid-30s now, but I can pass for my early to mid-20s. It's kind of hard to tell these days who looks their age. Personally, I don't look at younger people. The older I get, the more childlike younger people seem to me; I prefer people with more life experience and wisdom. Younger people (early 20s) can be nice to look at, but there's the age gap, which is a big factor for me.
  9. Holy crap, this is me! I've had better luck with friendships and relationships with men, but women seem to want nothing to do with me. It's also an issue at work, where I've received training from men, but have suffered backlash from women because of it. And the women who had climbed the ladder would prefer to train and promote men but leave other women in the lower ranks. But inevitably, most of the men would start believing that they could have something more with me. They'd try to flirt and make advances. But these were always older men; the younger ones tend to keep things platonic, or at least not make any romantic notions known. My ideal situation is like OP's. A close female friend who shares my interests. We can go to the mall, explore weird shops, record videos for YouTube... platonic doings. But we can share a kiss or a passionate hug in private. We can cuddle on the couch while watching Netflix. If the other isn't in the mood, then a kiss can suffice. We could enjoy making out or dry humping if getting unclothed isn't in the cards that day. It wouldn't have to be like it is with men, where the end result is usually sex. She could be married and/or have kids. Our husbands... well, I don't know about being open about that kind of thing. I'm afraid my husband would want details, or he'd blow up or demand a divorce. That's always the stumbling block for me in these daydreams, and I end up shutting the whole thing down and trying to distract my thoughts again.
  10. Funny how bi and straight are equal.
  11. I've been wanting to make my own! I even have beeswax and shea butter saved on my Amazon wishlist (though I may end up buying from Mountain Rose Herbs; the wishlist is more of a reminder). After hearing that some lip balms have ingredients that purposely dry out your lips so you use more of it, I decided that I was going to try my hand at making some. Oddly enough, it's the holiday-themed Chapsticks that have the best results for me. The cinnamon flavor is so mild, I can't even taste it.
  12. Books, especially those I can use for references. I'm always looking for ways to build my fictional worlds, and books are my go-to when I need knowledge or inspiration. Sure, there are ebooks, but I like to highlight and occasionally jot down notes. Besides, I tend to forget that I have ebooks. (I have so many that I haven't read. :( ) And office supplies! I love me some pens, more than I love breathing. My main "dealer" is JetPens. com. I used to be big into yarn and stickers. Since I got back into knitting and saw some Final Fantasy stickers on Red Bubble, those indulgences may make a comeback.
  13. I did take something like an improv course back when I was attempting a degree in theater studies (I was hoping to become an actress). I didn't do too well overall, but several years have passed. I might be better at it this time around. Ah, anytime I looked for meetups for cartoonists, artists, or the like, they all happened on the weekends. I may have to generalize my search results, then. I'm a bit of a Ghosthead. My main love is the RGB cartoon and the comics (both from the 80s and the current ones published by IDW). The movies were awesome (well, the second one... ehh...), but you never fall out of love with your first introduction to the Ghostbusters. Oh, same here with the "no feelings" thing. My dad would actually yell at me if I started tearing up. I was a preteen when I finally learned how to not cry, but I became stone-faced and quiet. It also contributed to my ongoing loneliness. I've gone over this countless times in my head. There are nights when I do want to be intimate with him, and then there are nights when I think, 'Fine, we'll do this so he can finally shut up.' I do remember enjoying foreplay early in our relationship, but years later, the thrill isn't there. I do have crushes on men, and I even have daydreams where I'm flirting with them or cuddling/kissing them. But when I'm trying to get aroused, I find my thoughts usually go for women or gay couples. It's rarely ever a heterosexual couple that enters my fantasies. There was a time when my husband did turn me on, but in ten years... well, he's let himself go in big ways, and he's not the provider I'd hoped he'd be. That may have contributed to the tolerance and lack of passion. There's a lot more to my story, but I'm sure I'll divulge in bits throughout the forum.
  14. Alexis. We were both 19/20 (I'm now 35). She was a classmate in our college Creative Writing course and we worked part-time at the same Albertson's. I remember going to the beach with her, wearing bucket hats to her amusement, and wishing there was a moment I could steal a kiss, or which perfect gift to give her for Hanukkah. I still remember her blue eyes and freckles. She had a boyfriend, but I wasn't jealous. I just wish there had been a time I could have experienced something more physical with her, even once. I don't know if she felt the same, but the feelings I had will always give me a little glow in my chest.
  15. I'm currently on a Final Fantasy kick (the original first and third games), and the Black Mage is my favorite job class. I also like various shades of purple.