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About Bruna_V

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  1. When my attraction to women re-emerged a few years ago, I felt for a while like I needed to create for myself and for the few people I told a cohesive narrative about how this happened. People seem to be more comfortable with a simple story of having denied or suppressed these feelings in the past then finally having the courage to acknowledge your true self. Saying you had a genuine attraction to men muddies the water for many people and makes the story less believable for some reason. But now I genuinely don't care about having a label or being believed. It just doesn't matter. I know what's true for me.
  2. I really understand. If you tell this story to the objective listener they will advise you just to leave. But when you are dealing with a person whose feelings you care about and towards whom you feel you have obligations, it's very hard to just pull out of the relationship. I hope working through your feelings here will help you figure out how you're going to do this. But only you know the pace.
  3. Hi Laurie! I'm also new here and have a situation a lot like yours. Great that you have the courage to seek out support here. It took me a long time to put myself out there even in this protected forum. Welcome!
  4. Thank you for sharing and for your honesty. It's a hard thing to talk about bc no one wants to be in this position. I think at least we can respect the fact that every marriage is different and support each other in the struggle to be true to ourselves and our partners.
  5. Thank you so much for acknowledging this. I have debated this long and hard and tried to look at it from all different angles. But I can't find a good solution. So many comments that I read say to just speak frankly about it, hide nothing from your husband. But I have so much to lose if this potential negotiation goes wrong. We are living in a country that is not native to either of us and we have children born here, so divorce would be a catastrophic option for that reason. And when my options are divorce or a sexual arrangement on his terms, I do feel I have to be secretive. I don't think this is ideal, but when I'm looking at the rest of my life stretched out before me, maybe simple solutions are not in the cards for me.
  6. So many similar elements to my situation here. I really resent the micromanaging way he needs to have sexual encounters, and that is why, although he would be interested in my bisexuality, I don't want to give it over to him or reveal it fully. But I honestly don't know where my "rights" begin and end when it comes to sexuality within a marriage. I should honor my monogamous commitment and not act out on this alone, but if I reveal it to him my attraction to women will never be my own again. Other men might react differently, but I know my husband.
  7. See above
  8. I'm in Holland and have tried to find some kind of meet up for bi women with no success. If anyone plans smt in the Benelux region, let me know.
  9. You basically just told my story @EllieCruz. I was in exactly the same position about 4 years 37 and mother of 2. I had the same fears about my husband as you do and the same deep need to explore this and go farther. It's taken me about the same amount of time to work up the courage to join this site. Anyway, I'm with you. And you are definitely not alone.