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pinklotus

GoldenShyBiGirls
  • Content Count

    146
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    United States

pinklotus last won the day on February 15

pinklotus had the most liked content!

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229 Excellent

About pinklotus

  • Rank
    Big Tease

Profile Information

  • Music
    I like pretty much all genres but I'm kind of stuck on 90s grunge. Favorite singer: Fiona Apple
  • Interests
    movies, television, erotica (writing and reading it!), and art

Recent Profile Visitors

1,330 profile views
  1. pinklotus

    Bi is beautiful!

    Welcome, @Ziantha!
  2. pinklotus

    Confused

    Only all the time!! Welcome to shybi!
  3. pinklotus

    Anybody else?

    @brokengirl0407 it definitely sounds like something worth exploring & it seems like he won't mind! Would love to know how this progresses for you guys!! :)
  4. pinklotus

    Who Speaks Another Language?

    I don't speak a bit of Welsh but I have been to Wales and have a soft spot for such rare languages plus I love the way it sounds.
  5. pinklotus

    Help

    Yikes - sorry I couldn't help. There's not an option for others to write on your feed either. This seems to be the case for you and a couple of others who have the 'Clubs' drop down instead, though perhaps that's a coincidence?
  6. I've probably been hit on by women more times than I can count and was clueless every single time LOL.
  7. pinklotus

    My neighbor

    @BrownEyed I'll tell you that I missed a lot of opportunities big time for assuming that the other person wasn't interested in having an encounter or a follow up but was actually just shy or embarrassed to say anything bc they were insecure about their sexuality and thinking I might judge them since I didn't bring up that I desired them. They were, in most cases, waiting and expecting me to initiate a conversation about it. Having to find out about that after the fact when it's too late to do anything about it SUCKS! If you are really into her & can muster the courage, you should consider gently broaching the topic. What's the worst that could happen and would that be worse than regret?
  8. @dirtyshirt84 With zero hard facts to back it up, I'd say yes because in my view, people don't take being bi as seriously as being gay. We're in this gray area that neither hetero nor gay people understand, a no man's land really. There isn't a set of characteristics or behaviors that you can place on a bi person like you can with a gay or straight person and I think that weirds people out so they diminish the label to be just about wanting to have selfish sex, looseness, confusion, etc. There has been a great deal of championing LGBT+ as a whole, but little in the way of championing of bisexuality, specifically. Which I understand can be difficult to do because it's our identities at stake, not so much our rights though that could ultimately be a factor should we choose to settle with a same sex partner. It's a catch 22 because if one comes out as gay and people see them later in what looks like a hetero pairing, they'll just think they're confused about what they want and again, not take them seriously. As for my personal experience, more often than not when I've opened up about it to girls in the past, they'd then feel comfortable revealing their curiosity about it or telling me that they were bi too. Or I'd get the I'm straight but I think women's bodies are beautiful line . So I agree with you completely that if people were to let go of their conservative ideals and inhibitions, there would be a while heap of people identifying as bi or something similar, even if they leaned toward one gender more than the other.
  9. pinklotus

    Help

    Hi @these-broken-wings(TBW)! You can post status updates from your profile page where it says, Write a public message on your feed. Whatever you write there will show up in the social stream. HTH! :)
  10. pinklotus

    Anybody else?

    I tried to imagine it (I googled it actually lol) and I'm not sure how I would feel about it, but I think it's awesome that you guys stumbled upon something that pushed your hubby out of his comfort zone. Makes me wonder if there might be a sort of subconscious D/s dynamic at play between you. Either way, who knows what sort of fun this could lead to for you guys!
  11. pinklotus

    Desert Rose (by request)

    Thanks @Rani!
  12. Interestingly, this has never been my experience and I've had a quite a few threesomes. I've never been approached by a man, always a woman. It was generally the woman's idea in each instance, including threesomes I've had with my own partners where I was the instigator and it was the men who were ambivalent. I just don't think this topic is nearly as cut and dry as that. There are plenty of women like me who like and initiate threesomes and plenty of hetero men who'd rather not participate in a threesome when they are committed (which admittedly, I'm often surprised by). I would say that there's a very wide range between ambivalence and adamance when it comes to who wants this. In fact, I think that because of the negative social connotations, likely derived from careless participants, that are placed on threesomes keeps women from being as open about their desire to do it. That is, excluding situations where the woman has issues with jealousy, but then I'd say that type of person wasn't a proper candidate for threesomes anyway. Even here on this board many married bi women are very vocal with their dispassion for threesomes, with a strong preference toward 1:1 encounters with women - yet their stance on infidelity is much more lenient. My point in saying that is to say that people want what they want and unfortunately sometimes something that could otherwise be enjoyable is ruined by the actions of wreckless people. And that the same distaste could happen with any sexual activity, like anal sex. I tried it; wasn't for me. But I wouldn't let my opinion of the activity be the reason someone else shouldn't try it. Some people love it!
  13. I also wanted to add from the other perspective as I've also been the unicorn a few times back in my single days. Having been on the other side, I know what it's like to be in that situation where things have gone really well and other times mediocre. In my personal experience, most of the time, I'd have to lead the session. I didn't mind doing this, personally, but I could see how this would turn off the type of unicorn that wanted to be the center of attention. This is another compatibility dynamic for those considering threesomes. My point in bringing this up is that I think many threesome scenarios that fail when everyone was honestly in at the beginning likely boils down to assumptions about what people think is supposed to happen in a threesome when they lack real experience.
  14. I think the gender of the participants is hardly the issue, whereas the contention lies with introducing a third to an established relationship. I also don't think that a couple's sexual proclivities are up for debate either. As with any sexual desire, some people enjoy watching their partner engage with others. I would say that the best candidates for three-some are people like this as well as people that don't mind being observed - after all, this type of sex is no longer a 1:1 intimate act. Therefore, it cannot be judged as one. Further to your point, any time a person is intimate with another person, there is potential that feelings may become involved - even in your own examples. I also think that sex with men and women is only different if it's different to you. If you like women more than men, then that will be your lens. I don't think this is true overall as some people are truly able to enjoy each equally. I think, with regard to your comment about being a notch on the guy's belt, that this is a characteristic of how you feel about men versus women. You don't even consider that you might be just another notch on the woman's belt. Men are not the only people capable of looking at sex as a conquest and it's not a guarantee that all men engaging in threesomes with their wives are after this. Some people truly enjoying sharing. You ask what happens if the 3rd develops feelings for the wife. I ask: what if she develops feelings for the husband? What if the husband and wife both fall for her? What if the trust between husband and wife grows closer? What if her sexual confidence grows? So many possibilities exist and there's no way to suppose that you can tell by doing it or avoiding it that any of these things will or won't happen. The bottom line is that if you have reservations about feeling left out - you haven't found the right couple; if you have reservations or guilt about sleeping with someone else's partner whether male or female, a threesome is not for you. And that's ok. Threesome (or insert any other multiple here) sex is not for everyone. But neither is bondage, cuckolding, peeing, rimming, or any of the other vast kinks and fetishes out there. What you like and don't like is ok, you just have to figure out what your limits are (or aren't!) and adjust your sex life accordingly.
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