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About MidnightBabe

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  1. According to the calendar, almost 55. Otherwise, I'm more like 25 or 30.
  2. I can't say what is normal but I'm learning this is way more common than most people think. And more so for women in their middle years. Maybe younger women are more in tune with their sexuality as the world is becoming more open to LGBTQ lifestyles?
  3. I recently discovered this podcast and thought some of you might be interested. There's a trio of relationship coaches who have fresh ideas and a great way of sharing insights in a direct, kind manner. They are very engaging and down to earth when talking about improving relationships and not just polyamorous relationships. They talk about sucking less at communication, as they call it, and they embrace alternative lifestyles and also monogamy. There are over 200 episodes! The one on boundaries, rules and agreements really highlights how to handle open relationships. https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/68-rules-agreements-and-boundaries There's also a primer on boundaries which I think is helpful for a variety of relationships, not just romantic ones. https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/178-basics-boundaries And here's what I'm going to watch, on fighting. https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/210-take-the-fight-out-of-your-fights And this: are you ready to be polyamorous? https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/are-you-ready I hope you watch and enjoy these podcasts. Feel free to comment on them, and please share any other podcasts that might be of interest to the rest of us.
  4. MidnightBabe

    Is this it?

    @Delia I am glad my analogies were helpful. It's so hard to make shar of some of these feelings, and it helps when we connect with someone else who gets it. Feel free to send me a private message if you want to chat further. I think we have a few things in common.
  5. MidnightBabe

    Is this it?

    I would say it is that we are socialized to value monogamy. There are social science theories on how monogamy serves men in assuring their children are indeed theirs, and this happens best in a monogamous relationship. Just as we can love two parents, or two or more children, we can love more than one person at the same time. If we are open to this idea, we can recognize and love the qualities each person brings into our lives. This may not make sense to everyone, but it makes sense to me. My observation (not experience, not yet!) is that for a poly arrangement to work, all parties should communicate clearly all expectations and needs, so there will be no doubt or confusion about what's happening and with whom.
  6. Before I realized I was bi, I hit surgical menopause. That means I went into menopause right after my total hysterectomy. I used a vaginal moisturizer then which helped me during intercourse with my husband. When I explored my sexuality more recently, needless to say, I realized how very strong my attraction was to my gf, and I've never needed that moisturizer since. Not even close! Along the way, I added Premarin, as a vaginal insert. That hasn't changed my libido, but it does improve the health of the vagina. Talk to your doctor about vaginal estrogen like Premarin. It can't hurt and might help you feel better, which could spark your mojo.
  7. MidnightBabe

    Online bi book/movie club

    Never heard of the book. Sounds interesting, I guess. Still not sure how much time I can squeeze in to read. Work and life are getting busier and busier.
  8. Really loved this scholarly, well written article, @moonbynight. Loved the research and the stories. Thanks for posting. I think more of us would want to read this. Good to know that I'm not alone.
  9. MidnightBabe

    Online bi book/movie club

    I'm interested, just unsure if I can commit. Keep me posted!
  10. MidnightBabe


    I agree @Sithandra, vibes are stronger when you're more comfortable in your sexuality. And I think vibes are also stronger when you feel good about your body, or confident. Confidence is damn sexy. There's two things here: picking up vibes, and sending vibes. I think men have found me sexy for a long time, as I was ok with my sexuality...or so I thought. And I'm okaayy with my body. So there would be vibes, looks, comments. Now that I'm bi, and I really love my attraction to women, I am sending and receiving some nice vibes with women. With time, I'm getting better at noticing vibes from women, but the more I've embraced my sexuality, the more women seem to send me vibes. But no vibe anywhere can surpass or even match the vibes I share with my girl. She's hot, loving, sexy, smart, really sweet and totally adorable. We are so very in tune with one another on many levels, including sexually. So any other vibes just don't count any more.
  11. MidnightBabe

    An old friend

    Getting therapy as I explored my sexuality was so deeply helpful. I have a place that's totally safe to figure out things and feelings and situations I cannot discuss elsewhere. My therapist really gets me and doesn't judge me. And she challenges me, too. I highly recommend taking to a therapist who knows about alternative lifestyles.
  12. MidnightBabe

    An old friend

    This is so exciting, @VirgoGirl! Looks like love may be in the air! What will you do next?
  13. MidnightBabe

    New and confused

    I think when we communicate openly in our marriage, we can create arrangements that work for us. The rule is, the couple makes the rules for the couple, together. Look around this site, the are all kinds of polyamorous arrangements. Some couples go for threesomes but both of you need to really understand how that goes and really want it. That wasn't for me. My h and I are talking this through, and it's not easy, but we're trying. Our relationship wasn't so great before I came out to him, and that makes it harder. Sounds like you have a great, open, supportive husband, @KayB Keep talking, you'll figure it all out. Keep us posted!
  14. @Ravenclaw13, welcome! I think you found a great place to connect with women like yourself who are figuring out who we are and what we want. It's ok if you change your views and realize that yes, you may be attracted to women. I didn't make the realization until I was married for over 25 years! I agree with @WingedPixie, your sexuality can and will change over your lifetime. It's more common than I ever thought myself but the more I explore, the more friends I make who have similar thoughts and experiences. It's really important to communicate with your husband. Even if you are unsure, you can say you're finding that you have these new thoughts, and are unsure what they mean or what you need. Finding a therapist who understands sexual fluidity and bisexuality was tremendously helpful to me. Good luck on your journey!