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CallistoDidNotWin last won the day on March 8

CallistoDidNotWin had the most liked content!

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About CallistoDidNotWin

  • Rank
    Big Tease

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  • Interests
    Life is dancing and dancing is life. But aside from that being the motto of my life, interest are Politics, Philosophy, Psychology, History, Astronomy, Physics, Biology, and books books books
  • Favourite Book
    Crime and Punishment, Dune, The Shining
  • Favourite TV Show
    The Walking Dead, Stranger Things
  • Favourite Film
    Picnic At Hanging Rock, 11:14, Inception

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  1. Physically, 51. Mentally, oh, 25 or so
  2. CallistoDidNotWin

    Ask The Person Below You A Question????

    It was at a sort of Street Fair. And there were these women from a local belly dancing school, just amateurs of wide age ranges having fun with being adventurous and giving belly dancing a try. And a group of these women put on a little show in the midst of this street fair. One of these women, she was dressed all in white, this amazing sheer gauzy fabric, and of course in the belly dancer style of dress. She had brilliant long red hair, a nice natural tan. And the smile on her face! Oh my goodness. Such an amazing smile, obviously coming from a depth of inner joy and inner happiness and inner beauty....and then the dance she was doing. Oh I was riveted to the spot, just frozen, so captured by all of this... Without question the sexiest thing I ever saw. And all the other women too, some of them not with "perfect" figures, some of them in their 50s, or so, but all of them dancing with such sexy and un-self-conscious abandon. All of it really the sexiest thing I ever saw. Question: If you could have any job/occupation at all....absolutely anything....what would it be?
  3. Well, I would need a little clearer definition of what they meant by "fear of successs." If it means that we sometimes engage in forms of rather subconscious "self sabotage" that then holds us back....yes, I do think that is the case for some women. Owing to things they might have internalized from around them as a child. So, yes, I think that could be at play for me. An example of what I mean, of the sort of thing that can happen to a young girl in certain environments (such as the very conservative environment I grew up in, both in my home and in the community and most certainly in the school) I was always extremely precocious, smart, rather very ahead of other kids at my grade level....and I tended to hide this. Why? Because a girl who stepped forward and demonstrated her superiority would experience a certain backlash and end up being ostracized, categorized in various derogatory ways (like being called a "snob"), etc. Thus, it was strategically advantageous for me to conceal the fact I was smarter than most of the boys. Could get along better that way. This of course was something all operating on much more of a subconscious level than a conscious strategy. But I certainly witnessed other girls doing the same, not "stepping forward" in a way that would "intimidate and frighten" boys. And again, it was just the very conservative, very highly male-dominated environment I grew up in (in my school, boys marched off to the "selecting a career class" while girls congregated in the "learning how to cook and sew class" fer cryin' out loud -- yes, that was how bad it was). But it is our subconcious that always sabotages us doesn't it? So if that is the "fear of success" we are talking about, i.e., to, with some duplicity, seek to not "make others uncomfortable" by putting our strengths on too conscipicous display....well, there you are. Age lessens that of course. So I certainly do not now have any "fear of success" in operation at all. But I think it did somewhat retard me in achieving some things earlier in my life, I think. Does what I say make sense?
  4. CallistoDidNotWin

    Is this it?

    I would say, yes, to a degree, I think I can relate. I am not so sure that I could truly completely positively "function" 100% well in a triad situation or polyamory.... but part of me also really does think....I could....? But then you mention these "monogamous values" and yes, I think that would be the one key thing nibbling at the back of my mind....that whispering voice (Society's voice, isn't it?) fighting hard to try and make me feel bad about loving a man and simultaneously loving a woman. One thing I definitely have begun to wonder about of late (been wondering a lot of things of late, but this most prominently), and I just pose this as a hypothetical philosophical question (so please, nobody jump on me, as I am not trying to "advocate" anything one way or another)....but I wonder....is adherence to "monagamous values" something we have, pardon my choice of words, been "brainwashed" into? I truly have started to wonder about this. Philosophically. And wonder what you might think? Is it something just "in us" that we feel? Or is it something from outside of us that we internalized along the way.....? I did come back to edit this to add though that what you said @these-broken-wings(TBW) about exchanging your husband for a woman would still leave you with the same problems, was actually a very insightful point.... that I think maybe some bi women don't entirely consider. That ole "grass is always greener" saying, you know? A trap we could still fall into..... Yea, these things all do make me a little bit melancholy sometimes. But then I still remember, that even if I don't have a perfect life, don't have (can't have) everything I want and desire and crave, I do still have plenty of good things to be grateful for. Perhaps when your melancholy lifts a little, you might feel that way too? Thank you for posting your thoughts.

    1. celeste teal

      celeste teal

      Incredible! And, one long 4 minute shot :P for extra incredible on top. Thanks for sharing this.

    2. CallistoDidNotWin


      Yes, I think "incredible" is a good word to describe this dancing.  :)  

  6. CallistoDidNotWin

    New to this and confused!

    Oh my dear, no judgment here! And you have nothing to be ashamed of over this "emotional affair". You are human being. And every human being has a heart that will wander where it will wander. Absolutely no judgment against you for being a human being! In the ideal world, there would be complete societal/cultural acceptance of having an expansive heart capable of loving multiple people. Some do indeed manage to make that a reality in polyamory relationships. For others, it is not so simple or easy to accomplish. But there is no crime whatsoever in having these strong feelings for another person.
  7. CallistoDidNotWin

    New to this and confused!

    Well, as you say yourself, no magic solution to the situation, so I have no real advice to offer. But I did just want to jump in with an offer of a big sympathetic hug to you, because I can very much relate to how you feel. I am married, for 31 years (got married very young) and I do still very very much love my husband. But due to physical ailments/difficulties for him, our sex life has shrunk to zero, just at a time in my life where my own sexual feelings have gotten very strong. And along with that, though I have felt attraction towards women all my life, that feeling of attraction to women has gotten extremely strong for me over the past few years. It has been a struggle to say the least. No easy answers here. But I just wanted to share with you my own situation as a vote of sympathy to you. And as you have seen from reading other posts on here, there are indeed sooo many women struggling with similar situations and feelings. For me, I found there at least was some small comfort in the discovery of the fact of "not being alone" and for that reason I found ShyBi to be such a wonderful eye-opening discovery for me. (Particularly since I grew up in, and have lived in, very conservative environments) To have the chance to chat with "like-minded" women is so valuable. So a big hug to you @bigheartbicurious.
  8. CallistoDidNotWin

    A random discussion

    This discussion has reminded me of an incident many many years ago ( more than a decade ago, actually ) in the workplace. During breaktime, a group of us (all women) were gathered in the breakroom and a couple of basically obnoxious women (obnoxious in all respects, not just on this topic) started chatting about how disgusting the thought of lesbian sex is, how can they do that, it is so terrible, so awful so disgusting etc. etc. etc. And then another woman joined in, and then another, and then another. Each seeming to be trying to outdo each other in voicing their agreement that lesbian sex is soooo disgusting. At this time in my life, I was mostly completely closeted about being bisexual (only my husband and one good friend was aware). And sitting in the midst of these women, I folded my arms and began to scowl slightly....and as the conversation continued....my scowl deepened....my eyes narrowed.....and part of me was hoping someone would notice A) I was not joining in on this enthusiastic group-affirmation of heterosexuality and properly worshiping the phallus and B) notice how deep my scowl was getting. But nobody noticed (I was always a very shy, quiet, retiring person, so people rarely paid much attention to me anyway). But as break time ended and the group dispanded, continuing to laugh about lesbians and continuing to be mutually self-congratulatory over how all of them loved hetero sex so much .... I remember feeling rather very bad at how gutless I was and how much I wished I had spoken up and said what I wanted to say, namely something along the lines I guess of STFU. Not to mention the fact I would have liked to remark that some of these women seemed so desperate to so quickly and firmly jump on this bangwagon, that I I suspected they were trying to hide the fact they had in fact done this so-called disgusting thing themselves. (And as a matter of fact, some time later, I learned that one of them in fact had). Well, that was then and this is now. Now, in a similar circumstance, I think I would speak up. And would relish and enjoy the wide-eyed shocked deer-caught-in-the-headlights looks I would get as the normally quiet little ole me told 'em where to stick their disrespectful BS.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. CallistoDidNotWin


      Thanks @celeste teal.  Although I am not sure if you meant the first one I put on here....as there are two shuffle dance versions of this song that I found...both were very good, and fairly similar in style, but I replaced the first with this one (as the first had a 1-minute long unnecessary intro to it).  But I agree with you -- I never much like music videos that make my head spin.  I love dancing and dancers, and this is what I am always on the hunt for good samples of.  

    3. celeste teal

      celeste teal

      @CallistoDidNotWin I was referring to the first video that you replaced. I found it and timed some of the shots to see how long they were, out of curiosity, and many are over 10 seconds long and some were even greater than 25 seconds. It's refreshing to be entertained solely by the energy (and sexiness!) of the dancers and not by artificial cuts to new scenes. The replacement video above is good too but the average cut duration in it seems to be around 5 seconds, which is long compared to most music videos but still a tad too fast for me. :)

    4. CallistoDidNotWin


      Sorry about that @celeste teal.  I always have a very bad habit of changing my mind.  :)  But the other one was good (other than the odd 1-minute intro).  So I am going to put it on here too.  Adding it now.  As I do agree, longer shots are better.


    1. BenedettaC


      Ah, I recognize that from the soundtrack of Basic Instinct...which features the gorgeous Sharon Stone at her very naughtiest...

    2. CallistoDidNotWin


      Her very naughtiest indeed


      (An interesting side note -- for anyone wishing to check it out -- the DVD of Basic Instinct has a commentary track by Camille Paglia :D which I found entertaining in spots.  Except that Paglia never stops to even take a breath....which is a little taxing on the brain of the listener, and she will at times describe what is happening as though she were watching the movie with a blind companion :rolleyes:.... but still some fun commentary in spots.)

  11. I really had never before given much thought to it -- just finding, I guess, the term "fisting" off-putting -- but after reading that link to that "how-to" article, wow.... puts into a whole different light so I can see what you mean about it being an intense sexual and emotional connection for women. Really a pity it is called "fisting". Just doesn't have a good sound to it. That term should maybe just be left to the gay men, and lesbians should come up with a different term...... Though I am not clever enough to think of a suggestion at the moment.....
  12. Never have been ....but ditto that about not wanting to be by a man! Mainly because my man's hands are waaaay too big. But also because it sounds like to be done properly requires a very great deal of slow, patient, sensitivity ....and though my guy is a gentle guy, don't know that I could count on him to be that careful/slow etc.