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Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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these-broken-wings(TBW) last won the day on May 14

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About these-broken-wings(TBW)

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  1. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Today's Mantra

    My mantra for the past week has been... "Self-control is strength. Calmness is mastery. You have to get to a point where your mood doesnt shift based on the insignificant actions of someon else. Don't allow others to control the direction of your life" (not sure who the author is). I've been practicing removing myself from thought. Dissociation of sorts. Bystander effect. I think, thus, I react. So I've been practicing stopping regardless of thought. allowing thoughts to be narrated and I'm the one being told the story (talking to myself but not out loud). I'm not sure what yogis do. This buys me time to simply 'watch' without judgement, thus, without feelings or attachment to those feelings.
  2. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Is this it?

    Thanks @ThatElf =) today was interesting! I'm not sure if the guy (in the 'what looks like a heterosexual couple') is bi or straight, my gaydar was 'hmm... check him out, is he or isn't he flirting with my hubby?' but. It was kind if a turn on! I think I'd get a kick out of having a bi hubby. Anyway, we had a lez couple attend who were soooo cute! Everyone in the training was 'meh'. No one batted an eye which was the most beautiful thing. Now you might be thinking 'yeah, lesbians are the norm these days'... not so much with migrants who come from conservative religious backgrounds where being gay is a sin. So it was really brave of them. The guy (Mr. Questionable) who took the training used hubby to practice on. Mmhmm. I didn't pluck up the courage to talk to him about his LGBTQ involvement. Maybe next time. Small steps, but at least hubby is on board supporting my bi side in a public setting, so that's a bonus!
  3. these-broken-wings(TBW)


    @HerbanOrla loved the article. It highlights exactly how I feel and captures the essence of my experience with LGBTQ groups (which I posted about prior to this post).
  4. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Is this it?

    Thank you @ThatElf that means a lot. I've been talking with hubby about attending LGBT events as a couple. He's okay with it. I told him that when I've attended events in the past, I've been viewed as... well let's just say lesbians can be bi-phobic and I've never felt welcome in a womens LGBTQ group. Even when I've come clean about 'not being single' it's the same old storyline "so where's your partner?" Umm... given it's an LGBTQ womens group where do you think??? And while I'm at it "wtf do you think B stands for?" (Sorry, went off tangent and letting a bit of steam go). Anyway, needless to say, I've heard/seen enough biphobic nonsense which has only left me feeling like scum on the bottom of a shoe. Because 'ewww... you are one of them'. I've had conversations end, ladies turn their back on me - freeze me out, to being told "oh, I was married to one once, and had children" as if the person was a sperm donating object. BUT! The exciting part is I found what looks like a hetero (have no clue what their orientation is, and really don't care) couple who attends LGBTQ events and I'm working with him tomorrow. This excites me no end! It means hubby and I can attend without me having to 'hide my dirty little secret' aka being married to a man. I will be in a position to live and be seen as a bisexual! I'm friggin excited hubby is happy to support me at these events because it means we get to go to LGBTQ movies with others (aka socialise). I've felt so isolated and lonely, this (shys) has been the only place I can talk openly, and I'm hoping (fingers crossed), that I'll find my peeps in rl. Wish me luck!
  5. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Anyone watching Gentleman Jack? SO HOT.

    I started watching this tonight but felt awkward watching it in front of hubby. I felt the same way I'd imagine feeling if I watched porn in front of my parents.
  6. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Going down - on a man

    I feel the same way towards women and men.
  7. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Bi/Pan flag clothing/accessories. Do you use any?

    I really like this site https://www.spreadshirt.com/bisexual+t-shirts Found it after reading this thread. Already have a few designs I really like. Quite like the pan bee. Too many to choose from.
  8. these-broken-wings(TBW)


    Congratulations on your engagement! A great positive post. I'm pretty okay with who or rather, what I am though it's nice to be in a place where I dont feel so isolated. A big ol hi from me!
  9. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Life's typos...

    This is bound to be full of typos. That's what happens when using your phone. Life feels like that too... full of typos. Ones you wish you could erase without the dreaded *edited* at the end of the last sentence. That crowning word that gets the last say. That glorified bastardized expression that tells the world a story of a person frantically recalling her words racking her brain whether it sounds okay, not too rude or perhaps not rude enough. Mistakes you wish you could fix without guilt or shame. Wave a magic stick and poodley-poof all solecisms disappear like a fart in the wind. No trace to be found, and no big ol neon sign hanging around its neck that simply states... *edited*. Wouldn't it be lovely to have the freedom to fix things, put things right, without getting an 'aha' sideways look of 'mmm-hmm... I knew she'd come to her senses', or a gasp followed by 'well I never saw that one coming'. Yeah, that's it! Putting things right without the diabolical external world and dialogical-self creating a nonsensical narrative of competing values. And. Judgments. They say we learn from our mistakes. Well, I did and always will. I hope. But life is like that. One big typo just waiting to happen. No matter how delicately the tip of your fingers seemingly caress the keys stroke by stroke, you can guarantee there'll be a time they stumble. Not that there are keys to stroke on a phone. It's more like a stab in the dark hoping predictive text will actually work in your favour without autocorrect sweeping thru like a tornado just waiting to swallow your innocence because it lacks its own. The bastard. Then there's the grammar police tutting in the background after you hit send. Oh no! Not the grammar police! Being graded by the grammar police is just. Dumb. As dumb as a typo wrapped in a vexatious sparkly ribbon. And sometimes life is like a ribbon with tattered ends, while other times you just can't wait to pull the string to expose the gift, of life. So long as it doesn't include typos. Which its bound to. Because, that's life.
  10. 'Control' is the word that jumps out at me after reading the definitions and descriptions. One having control over the other in the situation, with both on the same page of course. Don't think I could 'get off' on having someone control my pleasure, my body. Dont think I could 'get off' on having control over another persons pleasure, or body. Who knows? I'd rather enjoy each other bodies without having to control the moment or have it under control. The thought of having to control something or someone feels forced. It reminds me of games. Of throwing on a cape and running around the house pretending to be a superhero. Role playing. Drama. Things I can not connect with on a physical or spiritual level. I'd feel like a dick. A fake. A fraud. I'd rather be in the moment and let loose. Two loosey-goosies enjoying a sexually charged physical spiritual connection. Boom! Two souls intertwining, soaring into ecstasy together. But. I completely understand why others might enjoy it. I'm all about sharing.
  11. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Game of Thrones [Season 8 - may contain spoilers]

    Well... I'm not giving away the ending. But. Just wanted to say I liked it. I know a lot of fans didn't. Did anyone (without spoilers) like it or hate it [the ending]?
  12. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Femme vs Butch

    Ditto. Depends on what I'm wearing.
  13. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Femme vs Butch

  14. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Killing Eve

    Whoa! Better than any Mills and Boons! Love this show. A very intense relationship that has me fixated. It takes me back to my delusional days with my love object. Poor thing! Thank gosh it never went beyond the fantasy in my head.
  15. these-broken-wings(TBW)

    Killing Eve

    Yep, and relationally its 100% about limerence.