moonbynight

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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moonbynight last won the day on June 25 2016

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About moonbynight

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    ShyBi-Goddess

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    Edge of nowhere

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  1. I am not good with platonic physical affection, to an extent that is probably pathological. I mean, even stuff where there's no ambiguity, like friendly hugs that I'm absolutely sure are purely platonic or the idea of something like getting a professional massage, makes my skin crawl. Some of this is upbringing - my family was not very physically affectionate. Some is habit from internalized homophobia when I was younger - even though I don't have much of the internalized homophobia anymore, the habit to avoid and pull back from touch is still there. Some may be a sensory processing issue - I've had tactile sensitivities of other sorts my whole life. I'm ok with touch, platonic or otherwise, within the context of a relationship or serious mutual flirtation. Still not as touchy-feely as many people, but I can enjoy it as long as it's on my terms. I've learned to fake physical affection. I'm a nurse. Touching to provide comfort and establish rapport is an useful tool, like a stethoscope. It's rare that I use it outside of work, though. In fact, I think I use my stethoscope outside of work more often.
  2. shybi

    When I asked to be added to the FB group, I never got a response, so there's that, too. Maybe we could start a FB group named something innocuous and not obviously related to the website?
  3. Yeah, sometimes I want to be out to people not because I'm interested, but just because I want community. And that can be a little hard when you're married with kids because chances to casually drop it into conversation don't often come up.
  4. Nah, that describes probably 3/4 of the people here on Shy.
  5. Well, it could be that she's comfortable being open (at least with friends, maybe not random strangers) about her sexuality and is just making relevant conversation. Or it could be that she's taking the opportunity to specifically communicate her sexuality to you for whatever reason. I know that's not particularly helpful, but it really isn't much to go on.
  6. It's a very good article. When I saw the title of your post, I thought about posting a link to it, and then I clicked on the post and realized you already had. I liked this quote: This encompasses what I've felt from the start of this. It's not a minority of evil people. Someone can be overall a good person, or at least not evil, and still push sexual boundaries.
  7. Just when I convince myself it's all in my head, she says she thinks we should go watch Fifty Shades Freed.

    1. moonbynight

      moonbynight

      Though it was not entirely clear from the context if she meant us, or her and another friend.

  8. I get the same way. I won't talk about where I live even in broad terms because I'm afraid someone is going to recognize her from what I've written, and end up eventually deleting anything that seems like it might be too recognizable (I don't think this is actually quite as paranoid as it probably sounds, as she's fairly well-known around here in our field). I have no real worries about her finding it herself, since she isn't an internet person at all. I do worry about the possibility of someone else finding it and saying something, though. I agree with everyone else - absolutely nothing creepy about this, and teachers usually LOVE this sort of comment.
  9. For years, I consistently got INFP. These days, everything but the I is so in the middle that it basically depends on my mood the day I'm taking it. ISFP today.
  10. Regular drug use, or desire for mutual drug use. I'm subject to random drug tests because of my job, so it's totally out for me, and it doesn't really appeal to me anyways. Nor do I really want to watch someone be altered on a regular basis. Same applies to heavy alcohol use - I drink occasionally, but don't enjoy actually being drunk, or watching other people being drunk. Bad personal hygiene. My standards aren't that high - if you shower, brush your teeth, and change/wash your clothing regularly, you're probably good. But you gotta at least do that. Insisting on using more than extremely light perfume/cologne (if I can smell it from normal conversational distance, it's too much). It gives me headaches. Inconsiderate smoking. I have a tendency to be attracted to smokers/former smokers, which is funny because I really don't like smoking, so the smoking isn't a dealbreaker in itself. Just as long as they keep it out of my airspace unless I choose to be there. Homo/biphobia, for obvious reasons. Being blatantly disrespectful or intolerant towards anyone/any group. Any overwhelming interest that I don't share. I'm totally fine with having separate interests and doing stuff apart, but if the only thing you want to do on a regular basis is watch sports/play video games/run marathons/talk politics, it isn't going to work. There has to be some common ground. Pushing your unshared personal beliefs (religion, politics, diet, whatever) on me. Anything that would hurt my family - they're my first responsibility. Gotta agree with that one. Right wing views... an awful lot of people I know and like are further right than I am, though they tend to be more in the libertarian direction than actually conservative. So I guess, as long as their politics aren't actually hitting on one of my other dealbreakers, it isn't a dealbreaker in itself. But someone who is too far right is likely to be hitting at least one of my dealbreakers.
  11. I've seen Christians who think that yoga opens you to demonic influences. (Obviously, not all of them. Just some sorts.)
  12. I know this is an old thread, but it pisses me off every time I see it. 1. Men aren't *allowed* to ogle teenage girls, except to the extent that there's no law against it. They just do it. Same applies to women. 2. Ogle implies a visible, disrespectful, creepy way of looking at someone. There's a difference between looking at someone and being deliberately blatant about it. So do you really want to be a disrespectful creep towards kids? If so, there's no law against looking. But it doesn't make it ok, from men or women.
  13. I think that there's a key element to this that is missing - this statistic seems to be specifically about marriages where the not-straight partner came out after they were already married. And that, in itself, implies that the relationship may have deeper issues than just the person's sexuality, like mistrust or lack of self-awareness/self-acceptance. I know an awful lot of bi people in stable, long-term, heterosexual relationships where everyone knew about the bi part from early on. I'd also be curious to know what percentage of marriages where the person came out as bisexual break up vs. where the person came out as gay, since one implies an inherent incompatibility, while the other doesn't.
  14. I've never been into online dating, and I'm pretty sure every woman I've "met" (I'll define that as anyone with whom I've had some strong indication of mutual interest) has been organically. Most of them at work or school, a few in other social-but-not-dating-oriented settings.
  15. That's basically the conclusion I came to, but forgot to mention in the post. She doesn't seem to deal well with questions about personal stuff, so I'm just going to give information about myself with no questions attached and see what happens.