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moonbynight

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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moonbynight last won the day on May 23

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About moonbynight

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  1. Not the best picture, but oh well. You can see the band a little, too. (Yes, in having a lazy day. Would be out walking right now but it's thunderstorming!)
  2. I know that for me, I tend to notice, but I'm unlikely to directly say anything.
  3. moonbynight

    Shylesbian?

    Yes, there used to be much more diverse topics. I kind of think this is just the way the internet has evolved in general, and not specific to here necessarily.
  4. moonbynight

    Shylesbian?

    I think the site is weighted towards women who are already in well-established relationships with males, who have other socially acceptable outlets for their male-talk, and therefore don't feel the need to talk about men so much on here. This leads to an environment where talk about women dominates, which makes it seem like talk about men doesn't belong, so it's kind of self-reinforcing. I think there are also a lot of women who are pretty burnt out on men, which doesn't necessarily mean they're a lesbian. As for why lesbians would be here... most identified as bi at the time they joined the site, and stayed because they continue to enjoy the community despite their identification changing.
  5. This thread (the comments, not the post itself) is a good example of why I think it is important for me to be visibly accepting as a healthcare worker.
  6. moonbynight

    The girl I've been crushing on is ace

    I have an ambiguous friendship with someone asexual, and it's definitely been an opportunity for exploring what matters to me in a relationship. Before meeting her, I'd see asexual people on dating apps, and wonder what the point was. I don't have the world's biggest sex drive myself, but isn't that just friendship? Now... I can definitely say it's something beyond "just" friendship. It's intense and fulfilling in a way I've never experienced before, even in official romantic/sexual relationships. Asexuality means different things to different people. Some people who are asexual are totally adverse to sex. Others are willing to have sex, and even enjoy it, but don't experience sexual attraction (like, they enjoy having sex but don't experience attraction towards a specific person). Some may be ok with some form of sexual contact, but not below the waist. Some want romantic relationships (with or without sex), others don't. A good analogy I've seen was a comparison to hunger - sometimes you eat when you're not actually hungry, and you may enjoy what you're eating. Or sometimes not being hungry means you can't stand even the thought of eating. So, I guess don't assume she's on the sex-positive side, but don't write it off entirely either. And if plain ordinary friendship is all that comes out of it, you're right, that's still a good thing to have. https://www.asexuality.org/ is a good place to get more info.
  7. moonbynight

    Who's out who's in

    The thing is, it really isn't a binary. I think an awful lot of LGBT people are out to some people and not others - maybe they're out to everyone in their personal life, but not out at work. Maybe they're out to pretty much everyone, but don't talk about it with their grandmother. Maybe they're totally out to everyone they actually know, but don't "look gay", so random strangers on the street don't know. It's also not a one-time thing. You don't just come out once and be done with it - you have to keep doing it with everyone new you meet. If you're on here, then you're out at least to yourself and to random people on the internet, and that's more out than a lot of people are! I'm actively out to many of my friends (including my husband), some co-workers. I'm passively out (I don't talk about it, but I've got an awful lot of rainbow stuff posted if they feel like seeing it) to everyone at work, the rest of my friends, and much of my family.
  8. I've been doing keto for about 2.5 years. I started with a goal of losing about 25lbs, lost about 35, and am now well within my normal weight range. I do extremely lazy keto - for the most part, I don't count macros or calories or anything, but I have a good knowledge of nutrition and know what to avoid (and look it up if I'm not sure). I can't really say this is super effective - for the first year I really didn't lose much at all, but stuck with it because at least I didn't gain. The weight loss I did have may realistically be more because of fracture healing (super effective for increasing your caloric needs, but I can't really recommend it!) than anything. I do find that I lose much better if I am strict about avoiding dairy. Cutting out cheese makes me sad, but I'm perfectly happy without it other than that. I stick with it because it helps so so much with reducing carb cravings, and hopefully can continue to do so for life, though when I'm at a good weight I allow a little more fruit. I'm one of those people who has a really hard time with moderation - if I get started eating carby stuff, I have a very hard time stopping. Keto doesn't get rid of my sweet tooth entirely. I'm not at all one of those people who start to actively dislike sugar. But makes it much easier to pass things up and avoid getting started in the first place. I did fall off the wagon recently and have about 5-10lbs to lose again to get back to where I was. Or maybe not, because my clothing actually fits better where I am now. But I would still prefer to be back on track diet-wise (and have been pretty good for the past week).
  9. moonbynight

    Femme vs Butch

    I don't believe you've ever seen me in a girly top!
  10. I looked back at my goals from the other thread. Haha... I did start biking to work shortly after that post and did really well with that. That's the sort of exercise I do best with - when it's just an unavoidable part of the day. Then I got knocked down by some loose dogs and got a number of injuries that, while not life-threatening, are probably going to be lifelong problems. So I don't feel like I can go back to that, which kind of breaks my heart, because I've always been a biker. I still need to get back to doing weights. Even moreso now. Still resisting it because it's sooooooooo boring and I hate it. Plus I probably really should get one of the problems evaluated and some physical therapy input before doing much. Still haven't changed jobs. Still need to. Since the weather has gotten better, I've been good about getting out and walking on pretty much a daily basis. I've been meeting my fitbit activity goals most of days. So that's something.
  11. For my own purposes... so that other not-straight women know that I'm fair game. And general community-building. From a non-selfish perspective... Being visible helps others feel safe. I live in a fairly conservative area, and I work in healthcare. I know from personal experience how it feels to feel unsafe and when you're in a vulnerable position as someone seeking healthcare, and I've seen that fear in others. So I want something to make me visibly accepting towards LGBT patients. That's why I'm leaning towards an equality symbol for at work, because it's less a statement of my own sexuality. Similarly, when I started this job, it helped a lot to see openly LGBT co-workers being accepted. If there was some sort of magical symbol that LGBT people would recognize and straight people wouldn't, I'd absolutely go for that, because it really isn't anyone else's business. But that doesn't exist.
  12. I think you should listen to your body. If you're not getting the energy you need to function, then maybe it isn't what you need right now. Another way to look at it... keto teaches your body to burn fat, and IF can eventually develop naturally out of that. You may have more success if you wait until you're a month or two into keto. You might also want to start with the 16:8 version of IF (eating only within an 8 hour window), rather than jumping straight to a full 24 hours. Or look at other forms of fasting, like broth fasts or fat fasts.
  13. I have a rainbow strap on my watch, but it's subtle, and I'm not sure anyone has thought twice about it. My clockface also has rainbow stuff on it, but turns off after a few seconds (FitBit) so isn't anything other people are likely to notice unless I go out of my way to show them. I want to get a bracelet with the equality symbol on it, because I work in healthcare and have to walk a line between being visible/supportive to people who need it and excessive self-disclosure. My personal biggest barriers... I have a very hard time spending money on myself, especially over something "unnecessary". If I'm wearing it to work, I have to get something that can withstand washing and be easily disinfected, and isn't otherwise a safety risk (eg. necklace is a potential strangulation hazard), so that limits my options. I feel weird about wearing rainbow stuff, being married with kids. Bi/pan colors would be fine, but aren't nearly as identifiable.
  14. moonbynight

    Femme vs Butch

    Exactly. Sometimes long hair is basically my only nod to femininity; sometimes I wear stuff that is distinctly feminine. I think if I were starting my wardrobe from scratch without worrying about what anyone else thought, I'd lean more towards the masculine end of things, but I suspect the girly tops would still end up in there.
  15. moonbynight

    Femme vs Butch

    I also don't really identify as either - I'm pretty much in the middle. I tend to be attracted to women who are somewhere in the middle, too. And men, for that matter.
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