Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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About HulaHoop444

  • Rank
    Resident Bookworm
  • Birthday 03/29/1987

Profile Information

  • Music
    Anything and everything
  • Location
    Upstate NY
  • Interests
    Reading, writing, law, film, theatre.
  • Signature Fragrance
    Nude by Rhianna
  • Favourite Book
    Too many to mention, I love Harry Potter, The Hunger Games and a bunch more
  • Favourite TV Show
    Friends, Modern Family, So You Think You Can Dance, Law and Order(all 3 series of them)
  • Favourite Film
    Ever After, The Color Purple, Dirty Dancing just to name a few

Recent Profile Visitors

7,668 profile views
  1. I have always had a close relationship with my mother. The one thing we butt heads about it is my sexuality. She is in deep denial, refusing to believe that I am a lesbian. She keeps telling me, "You need to find the right guy," and "If you marry a woman, I'm not going to be a part of that." She thinks that only straight marriages are valid and are for people who want to raise children together. She also thinks that kids need both a mom and dad, and that gay/lesbian couples who raise families in her words, raise "messed up" kids because children raised without one biological parent will always want to know about that missing parent. I know in my heart that I am a lesbian and want kids. Hearing my mom say all this homophobic crap bums me out. I have tried for years to get her to see things differently but it's like talking to a brick wall. How do I come to terms with the fact that my mom is not going accept my sexuality or the family I hope to have someday?
  2. There was a meetup section but it was for trusted members and it looks it like it got deleted with the site upgrade, As of right now, I am just going to have to keep the loneliness away by saying busy and not let it keep me down.
  3. I don't have any friends who know single gay women. I am gonna die alone.
  4. I am really getting sick of being single. I feel so lonely lately and I don't know how to make myself self feel better. I stay busy all day but at night I lie awake, wondering if I am going to always sleep alone and ever have someone to share my life with. All my peers seem to be paring off, getting married, having babies and I have not been on a date in ages. I don't want to alone forever but at the rate things are going, I am doomed to be an old maid. I have done online dating but it's a big freaking joke. Dating sites are geared towards straights and the few dates I were able to snag didn't work out. I don't know any gay or bi women who are single so it looks like I am going to have to become a cat lady.
  5. Here is an update, Now that the initial rush of feeling free and content is gone. I feel very blue lately. I am lonely all the time and want to stay in bed and eat all the junk food, (which is something I would do if I were not a graduate student). I am a black woman, gay and overweight and I wonder if I will ever find true love and happiness when I feel like the stacks are against me. I've been messaging people on dating apps for eons, but nothing has come of it. I feel like I am always going to be alone which I have been for most of my life anyway. Did anyone else feel like a freak after coming out? I think things will look up when school is over; when I have a good job, and I am finally able to move out of my mother's home. Right now, things are just hard, and I don't feel like I have enough support. I don't feel accepted or loved by the people that matter to me. I can't just blow my mom off, she's threatened to kick me out before, and I can't let that happen. Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom, so I don't completely lose my mind before next summer?
  6. I realized I wasn't bi but gay this summer. I clung onto the bisexual label for so long because of societal and family pressures to be straight. I came out to my mom who is still in denial about my sexuality. She thinks I just "need to meet the right guy." I don't know if she'll ever come around but l will no longer continue to live a life that is a lie Since I have embraced being gay, I feel at peace within myself and secure in my sexuality. Now I am hoping for my dream woman.
  7. Thanks for all the advice, ladies, I also changed my password to my laptop too so she can't snoop around. She has read my IMs in the past if I left my laptop unattended. My mom is worried I won't get my work done in time because in the past I have not done so well in school if I let my work pile up too much. By being on my behind, she thinks it will prevent me from flunking out of school.
  8. I am mainly telling her when things are due. I don't let her touch my laptop so she can't get into it. I can also do my work in my bed room so she isn't looking over my shoulder or I can go to school early before class and do my work there as well.
  9. The main problem that occurs when I have work is that she thinks I should have the work done as soon as possible which is stressful because I like to take my time with my work. I also recently wrote a personal essay that I did not let her proofread because it had stuff about my sexuality and she thinks I should keep it quiet. It's my assignment so I am going to write about whatever the hell I want. I have talked about my sexuality in class and everyone was supportive. Times they are a changing and the more we can live our lives openly the better.
  10. I really wish I could to my city's pride but I have no one to go with and I don't want to take the bus...or rock the boat with my mom.  It sucks not having supportive family.

  11. Thanks for all the support and tips ladies. I know cats will happen once I move out of my mom's house and hopefully I will find a lady love sooner rather than later.
  12. Thank you for the advice, BiTriMama! I am planning on going to my city's Pride this year which won't be until July. I am sure I will be able to find support there and at the local LGBT center.
  13. How do I find ladies that are gay/bi in my community? How do I deal if my mom disowns me?
  14. I began to realize my attraction to other women around 8 years ago. I got a huge crush on a classmate of mine when I was going to community college. I thought since I have had experiences with both men and woman, and would consider a relationship with either gender, I thought I was bi. I was able to form a relationship with a woman I met online which went from friendship to my first real romance. We dated for 3 years but after so many complications, I ended it. It will be 3 years this fall since the break-up and I have played around with dating apps and even got a few in person dates and all of these dates were with women. I began reflecting on my past experiences with both men and women. I came to the revelation that my feelings and relationships with women were much more intense than the feelings I had for men. My first real love was my ex-girlfriend. I did date a guy when I was 20 before my lady crush but I think what I liked about the relationship was the fact that he was the first man that took a real romantic interest in me. I went along with it because I thought in time I would grow to love him. Things ended abruptly with him because he ended things by just not calling me anymore. In retrospect, I did things when boys/men because it is something that most people expect women to do. I am also of Jamaican descent which means that my mother has echoed some very homophobic views towards me. She hates the fact that I like women and when she finds out that I am not bi and just a full blown lesbian, I know my relationship with her will be in major jeopardy. As of now, I have only told a handful of friends about my change in labels, They have all been supportive. I am so glad I figured out all this stuff before I ended up marrying some dude just appease my family and society. I just turned 30 so I still have plenty of time to be able to form the kind of life I want for myself which is a big lesbian stereotype. I want to find love with an amazing woman, get married, have children and adopt all the cats. If anyone has any advice for me going forward that would be cool. If not, thanks for reading my story. I just wanted to get this off my chest.
  15. Thanks for the follow! How have you been, lady?

    1. endilwen


      Been okay hun how are you?? 

    2. HulaHoop444


      I am good, I am in grad school and loving it.