wickedcat

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
  • Content count

    1,610
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  • Country

    United States

Community Reputation

130 Excellent

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About wickedcat

  • Rank
    crazy cat lady
  • Birthday 07/22/1965

Profile Information

  • Music
    Eclectic. I love classical, folk, classic rock, pagan folk, medieval and renaissance. . .
  • Location
    North Carolina
  • Interests
    Knitting, reading (current favorite: Nordic Noir), writing, gardening, nursing, all things witchy and pagan, my cat family, renovating our 90-year-old farmhouse
  • Signature Fragrance
    Lavender
  • Favourite Book
    I'll need a few paragraphs for this. . .
  • Favourite TV Show
    Sense8 at the moment
  • Favourite Film
    far too many to name

Recent Profile Visitors

9,813 profile views
  1. I prefer circumcised but I think that's just because I got accustomed to it. Although I find it more aesthetically pleasing I am very bothered by the idea of cutting on baby boys.
  2. Neatly trimmed bush. I prefer some hair on a lady. I think it's quite beautiful, actually. It's perfectly clean if you keep it clean. I'm not a fan of the bald look.
  3. I was hopelessly head-over-heels in love with my first girlfriend, and we both had primary male partners. My love for her and my love for him were apples and oranges. It was many years ago and we eventually drifted apart, though I've never stopped loving her. I'm now married to a man who accepts my bisexuality and would love to find myself in this situation again one day.
  4. A similar thing happened to me once (with a man). He just dropped off the face of the earth. Stopped calling, wouldn't answer phone or email (this was before texting). It was an LDR so I couldn't even show up to see what was going on. Things had been tense because I had recently told him I was concerned about a few things, mainly his drinking, but I had no idea that he'd do something like this. I actually called hospitals to try to find out if he'd been in an accident. Turned out he'd met someone else. The way he handled it hurt far more than it would have if he'd just been honest and told me we were breaking up. I'm a big girl; it would have hurt but I'd have gotten over it a lot faster if he hadn't handled it by disappearing. His behavior only proved that he did not deserve one tear that I cried for him. He actually tried to come back later and was genuinely surprised that I was mad at him and didn't want him back. She's not worth all the pain if this is how she treats you. So much easier said. I'm sorry for your pain because I know exactly how bad this situation stinks.
  5. Is this only happening in England? I haven't encountered it in the US.
  6. I've seen all the films mentioned here and of them I loved "I Can't Think Straight" and "Imagine Me and You." "Kissing Jessica Stein" is another that comes to mind. But my all-time favorite now is "Carol." I've seen it 5 or 6 times and it never gets old. Plus I would eat Rooney Mara with a spoon! It's just been added to Netflix.
  7. It sounds to me like she has a drinking problem. It looks like she can't handle this part of herself without the lubrication (ha!) of alcohol, and then she can blame her actions on being drunk. Her behavior is toxic for you. If I were in your situation, I would tell her that you won't talk, text or spend time with her when she is drinking, and take it from there. I've had two relationships end over drink, when I made it clear that I didn't want to be around someone who had to have alcohol in order to have a good time. There's a time for a little alcohol indulgence here and there, but it shouldn't be every time and it shouldn't be allowed to be an excuse for hurtful and disruptive behavior.
  8. She hit you. That behavior crosses a definite line and you can't ever go back to before that happened. I know from experience that once physical abuse starts, it escalates. Maybe not right away, but it most likely will happen again. Most everything you've said about this relationship sounds toxic, and damaging on every level. You deserve better. I hope my bluntness doesn't sound callous. I've been there more than once. Please consider ending it. Cut all ties to her and focus your energy on healing. I wish you all the strength you need. xx
  9. My first was when I was 17. We were each other's first. We had been friends for awhile and had gradually developed a sexual attraction, and had talked about it for some time before it finally happened. It was utterly and completely amazing! I'm 52 now and still remember each and every detail as though it were yesterday.
  10. I think the fact that he's coercing you into sex that he knows you don't want, that he knows is physically painful for you, because he has "needs" is abusive. I'm sorry to be blunt and I don't mean to come across as insensitive. You do not owe him sex. You should not feel guilty when you have been honest with him. He has absolutely no right to demand this of you. Especially when you aren't asking him not to seek it elsewhere.
  11. It sounds like your DD might need a restraining order against him as well. Is that a possibility?
  12. Thank you so much for all the time and energy you have put into this post. I'm not on here as often as some but I have experience with physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse, gaslighting, narcissism. . . basically the works. I try to offer gentle advice when I see a woman in pain here and reaching out for help.
  13. I don't know about the getting drunk part. . . I have done this in the past and can tell you that the pain is ever so much worse when combined with an epic hangover. No judgement here, just sharing wisdom of a lesson I've painfully taught myself.
  14. I know it's a lot to take in, but if you're always terrified, as you say, then that's a huge sign that it's time to consider a change. No one deserves to feel terrified in a relationship. I really urge you to seek legal advice about visitation rights with your stepdaughter. Does his explosive anger ever extend to her?
  15. It sounds to me like he might cheating. It's often the case that a cheater will make accusations when he or she is the one who's straying. Also the lack of physical intimacy between you and that he's on his phone all the time are highly suspicious. All of his behavior is abusive, and abusive behavior only escalates. I understand you don't want to leave the child. Could you consult a lawyer about the possibility of having visitation rights if you leave him? I think you need to get out NOW before you become so beaten down that leaving becomes more and more difficult. I've been there and I know how hard it is. I stayed in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship twice in my life because I allowed it to go on for so long that I simply lacked the strength to get away. It had to hit rock bottom the first time, and I was finally able to muster the strength to leave after he tried to strangle me. Thankfully the second time the asshole left me. But I still had lots and lots of healing to do to restore my mental and emotional health and my self image. I'm sorry you're going through this. Stay strong and try to care for yourself.