Curious Jane

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Curious Jane last won the day on July 15 2014

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  1. I'm sorry to use this forum as a sort of diary, but it's the only avenue of venting and comfort I have right now. Today was the final test and quite possibly the final moments I had with my wonderful teacher. But it ended on such a great note. By the time we were told to put our pencils down, there were 3 of us left in the room. I had a little gift for her (a customized mug that one of her friends told me she would love). I also just needed one more person in the class to sign the card, as I wanted to make it a gift from the class (not just me). I slipped the card to the last student, and my teacher was right behind me. She was waiting for another student to finish the test,and I am sure she was curious as to what I was doing. After the card was signed, I tucked it into the gift bag, turned to face her, and said, "I know this is something that little kids do, but this is a gift for teacher appreciation week. It's from all of us." She thanked me and made a joke about me changing my mind about giving her a gift since the test was so hard. I thanked her for all of her help. Before I left the room, she told me that she appreciated that I never complained about the things we had to learn and always stayed positive. She said it was nice to always "look over at your smiling face." That's all I could ask for -- to receive such great affirmation...and knowing that she thought of me in a positive light. I thought she would remember me for being timid and shy, but I'm so grateful that the real me somehow came through! Now the waiting for final grades...
  2. @bendettaC You're speaking truth, this I know. It's just all so easier said than done. I know nothing could possibly come of this. Still, I drive myself crazy. I think it might be because I am afraid and not comfortable with it all. If that makes sense.
  3. I suppose...but I just feel like I make a conscious effort not to stare or even glance in her direction. When she is speaking to the class I look at her, but so is everyone else...because we're paying attention. Maybe she gets a vibe from me. Maybe she senses that she makes me nervous and she wonders why.
  4. Also, for anyone new who cares to know, but doesn't know the backstory -- Myself and my teacher are both adults.
  5. Okay, so...I'm still trying to move on. Lol She keeps eye contact with me now more than ever. And I'm not saying it means anything, but it doesn't help my situation. There are so many times when I look up from my paper (during her lesson) and she is looking at me. She will be looking over the head of the student who is directly in front of her, at me. I mean, she can only see my eyes and not the rest of my face, but she lifts her head to see over the person in front of me. This is while I am sitting at the desk and she is standing at the front of the room. One time I caught her looking at me while she was having a conversation with another student. I looked up, we made eye contact, I smiled, looked away...but when I looked back her chest and face were flushed red. Granted, that has only happened once (her getting red) and she could have been flushed with embarrassment because she didn't mean to look at me at the moment our eyes met. But like I said, these little things aren't helping me move on. Today I was yawning and held my hand to my nose the way you'd try to hold a sneeze. It was just so nobody would see my open, yawning mouth. I looked up and she was looking at me, with a huge smile and said, "Bless you" obviously thinking I was trying to hold a sneeze. This was during her lecture. Another interesting thing that happened a week or so ago: She asked me if I had said something during class because I had said it so quietly. I tried to be funny and rescinded, "Well, you know how loud I am." But I was nervous, so my tone came out sounding rude rather than silly. She just said, "Okay." And moved on. After class I approached her to apologize. I said something like, "I didn't mean to sound rude earlier. I was trying to be funny, but it just sounded rude." She was standing up at her computer, looking at it as she clicked around. I was right in front of her, maybe 3-4 feet away. But she didn't look up. She made a confused expression and didn't say anything. I tried to clarify. "Earlier when you asked me something, I didn't mean to sound rude." She moved from her computer and began walking toward the other students who were packing up to go. Normally she stands in the area, from which she was walking away, until we are all out of the door. As she walked away from me, she didn't look at me and said, "You have never sounded rude toward me, Jane. I say inappropriate things all the time in front of you guys, so I don't get offended easily." She seemed...nervous. But trying to play it cool. Argh... I just want to know why she is always looking at me. It's one thing when she is teaching and making eye contact with me because I am paying attention. And that's what I had finally told myself it was all about. But when she is speaking with another student and looking past them at me? What is that about? I'm nothing to write home about. On a good day, I think I have average looks. I have gained weight (I had lost weight by running, stopped running after pregnancy, haven't found motivation/time to run again). I don't dress to stand out. I don't know what. about me, would catch the eye of someone as beautiful and amazing as her. When I leave her class, my head is in the clouds. I love it and I hate it. Well, there is only one more class left before the final...then I will probably never see her again. It makes me sad, but maybe I can finally stop thinking so much about her. And really move on. Thanks for letting me vent.
  6. Reading back over my post, I know it sounds a bit manic. I wasn't intending to sound like I was going mental over it. I'm totally fine. I just felt pretty dumb. I mean, it's not as if I 100% believed anything would happen between us. But, as with any ending, it's going to make you a bit sad.
  7. I deleted my other thread. I felt so stupid because it occurred to me today that my professor is just indifferent toward me. I don't know why I only picked up on it now, but (with the exception of a few times she has talked to me) she doesn't seem to care to talk to me. I came in early today because I had something I actually wanted to tell her -- I genuinely had something to say, not just because I am finding excuses to talk to her. Well, she was talking with another student in the room and saying some very poetic things about math. She mentioned something that I had knowledge of, and when I interjected, she didn't even look at me. She just kept talking. And I wanted so badly to add on to what she was saying. Not that it was any more profound, but just to give my thoughts on it and hopefully get her opinion on my thoughts...but it's like she didn't want to acknowledge me. Or already forgot I was in the room. And I'm pretty sure she was only looking at me during those times during class because she was waiting to see if I had an answer. But I am so freaking quiet that I think she had to look at my mouth to see if anything was coming out. THAT'S why it seemed like she was staring.. I realized this because today I just mumbled an answer, but she "heard" it because she was reading my lips -- which is what I think she always has to do because I don't speak up. Yeah, so I am an idiot. And for anyone out there who is wondering, "Does this mean she is into me?" Just know that if you have to guess and wonder, she probably isn't. And if you aren't in a position to just flat out ask, save yourself the heartache and move on.
  8. I can relate to how you feel. For what it's worth, though, I have only been attracted to women who are on the heavy side. My current crush is much thinner than the women who usually catch my eye, but it is never about looks. That's absolute honesty. Sure, I admire those who are stunningly beautiful, but aesthetics only go so far. It's the person's quirks, mannerisms, personality, and unique physical attributes that I become attracted to. One time, I was completely infatuated with a coworker who was quite overweight, had a crooked smile, and didn't really care about what she looked like . I was taken by her intelligence, sense of humor, and all the things that made her, her. Also, it's a big plus if someone is approachable and not closed off. (Something I need to work on myself.)
  9. There is something beautifully magnetic and mysterious about Helena Bonham-Carter.
  10. Well, this looks very promising! Good luck and I will be looking forward to an update. I am pretty shy myself, so it will also be interesting to know how you take your approach. :-)
  11. Yes, I find that I am attracted to two specific types of women. 1.Dark curly hair, warm brown eyes, and curvy. 2. Red hair, blue eyes, curvy, with a strong or prominent jawline. And that perfect blend of assertive, but humble that you mentioned. Not every woman who fits the physical descriptions above catches my attention, though. There is something else that is hard to describe. I think it has something to do with how much attention they give me. Not sure if that makes sense.
  12. I awoke to the sound of Dana's voice. "Jane, I think it's time you wake up." She had opened the sliding door, pulled back the curtains, and sunlight filled the room. It was smaller than the room we had kissed and fooled around, but still quite large. "I could hear your phone ring several times," Dana explained. "So, I thought I should wake you." She was standing with her arms folded again, nervously rubbing one arm. I looked at my phone to see several missed calls and texts from Brad. Then I noticed the time. It was already two in the afternoon! I sent Brad a text to apologize and told him I'd try to be home soon. Flashbacks from our sexual encounter played in my head. I wondered if she wanted to talk about it or forget it even happened. I usually don't blurt out what's on my mind, and I don't know what possessed me to say it, but I calmly asked, " this the part where you tell me you don't remember anything from last night?" Dana laughed, "Absolutely not, but I'm glad you asked because I wondered the same of you." She sat down on the side of the bed, next to me. "I have to admit that it wasn't the way I thought my night would end. It was a little go that far... so quickly, but..." I began to say. " regret it?" Dana asked. "No! Well...part of it. Wait - do you regret it?" I asked. "What part do you regret? And then I'll tell you my regret." Dana was assertive, but still maintained that pleasant tone as she did in the classroom. "I just...felt uncomfortable with another man in the room. I feel like I cheated in a way. Not me and you. Just, you know, a naked man in the room." I shyly explained. "I thought you'd say that. I felt your uneasiness and I'm sorry. That's actually part of my regret --not turning you away." Dana looked down at her hands that were nervously fidgity. "Oh...okay." I said. "No, I just mean...waiting until you and I had a private moment. Waiting until we talked more about feelings instead of jumping right to sex...and in front of my husband. I don't know why I'm embarrassed to tell you this after what we did last night...but I think..." Dana paused and her face flushed with embarrassment. "What? You think...?" I pressed. "I think I was just.. happy to see you. I was...thinking of you even before you showed up. I was thinking of us and it an incredible turn on. And there you were. If I hadn't been drunk I probably would have hid. But I don't want you to think I was just playing out some sexual fantasy. Jane, I have feelings for you and it's confusing, but then it's not, and I just don't know where this could go." (To be continued...)
  13. Anyone else feel paranoid about putting their photo up? I put one up, but then worry someone I know will notice me. 

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Curious Jane
    3. kairi


      Thank you  :) We all have our insecurities and little things we don't like about  ourselves.

    4. bluebell


      I know what you mean

  14. My entire body felt flushed and I could feel the swell between my legs was growing. Dana was still on top of me and she seemed to have not come out of her drunken and horny stupor. I was very much still turned on. Dana's fingers moved to my panties again. She moved them to the side and this time, slowly pushed two fingers inside me. She kissed me, then whispered, "Is this okay? I have never..." "Yes," I breathed. I would have let her slide her fingers in and out of me all night, but I felt uncomfortable that Chris was watching. I just needed to get off. I used my own fingers to stimulate my clit while Dana continued to ease her fingers in and out of me. The intense orgasm was almost immediate. My back arched and I tried to hold it in, but a soft moan escaped. Dana pulled her fingers from me and leaned in for a kiss. "I'm getting in the shower, "Chris whispered to Dana before kissing the back of her neck. "Want to join me?" He was using his white t-shirt to clean up the semen off her back. "I'll be there in a moment," she said softly. Chris moved to the bathroom and shut the door. Dana waited to hear the sound of the shower, then laid down beside me. "Were you looking for me?" she asked. "I was surprised to see you." Yes, she was still drunk. I couldn't help but laugh. "No," I giggled. I was looking for the restroom. I'm glad I didn't have to go badly." "Me too, " Dana laughed with me. Our giggling faded and it was silent. Dana ran her fingers through my hair. "Did that really just happen?" I said aloud. Dana let out a sigh as she replied, "My exact thoughts." "I really don't want to...But I should go, " I said. "Why don't you stay in one of the other rooms?" I didn't know how Brad would feel. I didn't want to leave him alone alone in the morning she. I knew he'd have a terrible hangover. And I was sure Laura was looking for me. She had my purse and phone. I explained my worries to Dana. She got up from the bed and fumbled with her purse, which was on a dresser. She found her phone and called Laura. She made up a story and said she found me vomiting in the bathroom and thought it was best that I spend the night. She also confirmed that Christy, who took Brad home, called Laura to advise that Brad sobered up and had gone to sleep. Dana instructed Laura who to leave my phone and purse with and said that person would have them brought to the room I would be staying in. It was right across from the room we were currently in. I was relieved that Dana had extra clothes I could sleep in. I was even more relieved when she told me that the other room I was staying in had a full bathroom. Dana handed me a set of pajamas. "There's something else in there for you," she said with a wink as I began to leave the room. "It's new, don't worry." It was 4am and I was exhausted, but I definitely needed a shower. I immediately went to the bathroom when I got into my assigned room. I carefully unfolded the clothes Dana gave me;they had been rolled up into a cylinder shape. I was curious as to what kind of surprise she could have rolled up with the clothes. When they were completely unraveled, I was looking at a purple vibrator. I let had out a chuckle. The vibrator was about 6 inches long and had a nice thickness to it. There was a small extension off the side, which I figured was for clit stimulation. I left the vibrator on the sink and got into the shower. The heat and the steam felt wonderful and my mind began to replay the events from the past hour. Dana's curvy body and perfect breasts. Watching her fuck Chris. Dana on top of me while Chris fucked her. Dana's fingers inside me...then tasting me on her fingers. Thinking of it turned me on all over again. I quickly stepped from the shower and grabbed the vibrator. The shower was huge and had a ledge that was big enough to sit on. I sat there, turned on the purple massager, and opened my legs. I pushed it inside me until I could feel the extension touch my clit. The sensation was amazing. It felt even more incredible as I thought of Dana, helping to bring me climax just minutes ago. I thrusted the vibrator in and out of my pussy a little faster. Each time the vibrating extension rubbed my clit, I became closer to orgasm. I thought Dana, touching me. When I knew I was very close to climax, I pushed the vibrator inside me and kept it there. I imagined that the fast vibration on my clit was Dana's tongue. My legs quivered as I came, and to my surprise I blurted Dana's name.