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About gamerchic17

  • Rank
    French Kisser
  • Birthday 11/25/1979

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  • Music
    Paramore, Edm, Latin Music
  • Location
    Broomfield, CO
  • Interests
    Working Out,Dancing, Drawing
  • Signature Fragrance
  • Favourite Book
    Anything Star Wars related.
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644 profile views
  1. Haunted is a good one. I'm sorry you had to go through this. This whole new world of dating seems so much more complicated then before. Granted there are more opportunities as well. I guess the more options we have the more opportunities for rejection, but I guess that's what makes us strong. I figure it's better to be able to learn to let go, than to be afraid of putting myself out there. It's definitely worth it to find happiness and fulfillment. A friend gave me some good advice. She said to just enjoy each new person/experience for what it is, and just keep putting yourself out there. You never know what's around the corner.
  2. Thank you Cloudburst. Thankfully, before I really started to pursue searching out someone to explore with, as several crushes on straight friends. I had made the decision to work through those feelings and maintain the friendship. I feel that those experiences have made me stronger, and also have made getting over this easier. Granted, I have still not been with a woman, and this was officially the first person who has really engaged in conversation, and stated that she hoped I would choose her to be my first. Then questions started getting very direct. She seemed like she knew exactly what she wanted, and was getting very flirtatious. I think just going there got me very stirred up and hopeful that this was finally going to happen. Plus she os a OB nurse, and a mother herself, and those things made me feel extremely comfortable that I wouldn't be judged for certain physical imperfections, because I'm sure she's seen everything. :-D I honestly only cried about it the day it happened. I appreciate everyone's kind words, and advice. I feel like I'm ok, and can move on.
  3. Thanks ladies. It's a lot to think about. I certainly appreciate the responses. It is a bit funny, tho, just in the sense that 20 years ago I was 18 and letters were considered a more thoughtful means of communication, and if I wanted to find out where someone lived, I could just look it up in the phone book, or call 411, and ask. In all honesty, she told me where she worked already, so it's not like I had to go digging for info. I had kinda gotten busy and didn't read these responses until after I sent the letter. I basically just said that if she still needs support while figuring things out, that she can find me on here. I honestly feel better after writing things out and dropping it in the mail. I figure if she wants to get back in touch, she will. and if I don't hear back, no big deal. It honestly seemed so abrupt, like right after she told me she was feeling extremely overwhelmed, and wasn't doing well. That's the only reason it seemed odd to me. It just sends up red flags for me, but that may be just because of the issues I've been faced with at times, with my husband.
  4. Thanks, yeah. She was telling me that she was in the middle of a move, and was feeling very overwhelmed. I'm definitely gonna send a letter. It's gonna have to go to her work, but at least it will get to her.
  5. I'm not sure what to think of this. I know I've heard about this from other members. I had met someone on a dating site, and we had been messaging eachother for a couple weeks. She asked me to chat with her on Google Hangouts. We had gotten pretty personal. And had been talking about doing a video chat before possibly meeting up. (She lives in Wy, and I'm in Northern CO.) Recently she told me she was moving to make it easier for her pursuing her Nursing Bachelor's. She had been feeling overwhelmed with her move, and her daughters were finishing school, so she told me she'd get back to me real soon about out plans. I messaged her a couple days later to see how she was doing, and she said, She wasn't doing very well, and very overwhelmed. She apologized for not being able to be a good friend due to being so busy, and asked how I was. So, I tried to encourage her, having been through a move myself recently, and told her she could call me if she needed to talk. I waited a couple days, and tried to message her again to see how she was, and now my messages wob't go through. I tried to email her, and is says the email address doesn't exist. She completely deleted her account. I'm a bit worried about her now. I know this happens, people get cold feet. I told her about Shybi when we first started talking, and even gave her my ID. She was trying to figure out her bi curiosity. It's strange that she would just disappear, because she's told me where she works. I'm tempted to send her a letter by snail mail just to make sure she's ok.
  6. Ok, so I found this article about flagging. Wondered what everyone thinks. I'm thinking of showing up to First Friday at Tracks, here in Denver, some night with a few bandanas on. There needs to be one for married, but open. Lol Flagging Is A Fierce Way To Show The World You're Queer AF | GO Magazine
  7. Thanks ChemFem. He worked for housing and dining at CU. He was a maintenance tech for HVAC for the dorms and cafeterias.
  8. ChemFem, yes he goes to pick them up sometimes. He does take care of things when he's feeling physically able, and has been trying to do more. We are down to one vehicle since his truck broke down. He's been dropping me off at work, and them off at school in the morning. Part of the issue is that our auto insurance had lapsed last year, after he lost hos income, and my job was only bringing in 700.00 a month. I was hit by a lady trying to beat the red light, while I was making a left hand turn, taking my kids to school. He had to front $1200.00 of his backpay to buy us a new car off Craigslist, and now I'm paying 50.00 to the court, and 175.oo to the insurance every month. I do realize there's no excuse for him saying the things he says, whether he apologizes or not. He had actually been doing so much better when things were going well between him and his ex, but she has been backing off even from the friendship. I imaging that a lot of what he describes feeling with her is her desire, which is something that has never been there with me. Blueberry, thanks for that. Interestingly, I have already been through the depression, and me blowing up. About 8 years ago is when this all kind of came to a head. It was about the same time I fully realized my attraction to women,and also when I started counseling, and making healthy relationships outside of my marriage. I do have a plan. I'm just trying to make sure I can do this without relying on controlling family members. I have to get a job and save money to be able to move out. Thankfully, in the meantime, I have a lot of support from friends. I am also making voice recordings anytime he says we need to talk. Because I want to make sure i have proof of what he says when he's angry, in case he tries to use the kids against me in court, if it comes to that. Thankfully I would say he is only like this once a month. It's like man PMs. The rest of the time he is very sweet. At the very least he will hang out with the kids, and I can go out with my friends. They are trying to help me meet someone to explore with.
  9. We moved out of my in-laws' house about three months ago, after living there for three years. My mother-in-law triggers him to no end, but a lot of it is because she refuses to avoid him. Anytime he was triggered, I would end up getting snapped at and accused of starting arguments just because I opened my mouth, and my tone might have been off. We have been ok until the last few weeks. Any form of disagreement is seen as disrespect on hos part. If I present a differring opinion, he thinks I'm arguing, and goes off on me. He went off on me last week, threatening to make me get down on my hands and knees and beg to use the car. I have gotten to the point since then of recording every conversation on my phone. Just in case I need proof at some point. Sometimes the voice recorder doesn't work so well. Today, he came and told me that we need to talk, while I was in the middle of eating breakfast. He says he's come to a decision about our relationship, that if we get denied for our mortgage, he is going to disappear and never come back. It honestly wouldn't bother me if he just said he was leaving, but he basically said that because of all the constant pain he's in, he wants to die. He also blames me for his blood clot, and the physical pain he's in all the time, because I don't make it go away for him like his ex does. I guess recieving sex from someone who really has no feelings for you is kind of unsatisfactory. He says I owe it to him to stay and make the best of things, but them punishes me for being human. Ie: forgetting things because I have so much on my plate right now. Being a clutz. He has said that he can't stand me, or our son, because he feels that our son is just like me, because he lies. I don't want him to do anything to himself, but I really don't want to stay with him either, after all the verbal, and emotional abuse he's put me through. I'm in the process of applying for full time jobs, but it has to work with my kids' school schedule. I wish this was over. He tells me over and over that I have ruined his life by not realizing I wasn't into men before I married him, but then again, he's the one that was so in love with the idea of being with a virgin. I have followed the Abuse resources thread. I was just holding out that things would be different once we moved out.
  10. This is exactly where I'm at in my marriage right now. My son is having behavioral issues. This counselor thinks he's oppositional, defiant, while the school's testing has shown he suffers from childhood depression. Could be from having Dr. Jekyl / Mr. Hyde for a dad. We never know of he's going to offer a fair consequence, or just drag my son off and smack him in ghe face really hard for talking back. He swears that he's never going to lose control, but he has. We just moved out of my in-laws' house, and things were not good. My husband was being triggered by his mom constantly. We were constantly living in a state of turmoil being around my husband. We finally got out, and things have been better for a while, but he has started acting like a tyrant again I want to stay for the kids' sake, but I'm not sure if he's doing them more harm than good.
  11. I'm definitely gonna have to look through some of these. My husband has PTSD, and has pretty intensely angry outbursts.
  12. Well, she came over and we had some drinks. We were supposed to play The new Legend Of Zelda, but really just ended up talking about relationship stuff. She worked out later than normal, and ended coming over around 10:30pm. She kept texting to make sure it wasn't too late, and I kept telling her to come on over. She replied, saying that she needs to get me out to a bar to meet some women. She knows I like her, I have been very up front about it. She really wants to see where things go with this other girl. Things have gotten pretty serious, between them. She keeps kinda jokingly telling me that she'd be too much for me to handle, and that I need to find somebody to explore with. We're still gonna hang out, but I think we're better off as friends. I'm really glad to at least have her as a friend especially since a mutual friend of ours, to whom I became very close with over the last year, moved back home to Florida. She was a huge support to me regarding the things I go through with my husband.
  13. I definitely will let you know. I was concerned ar first too, and then after I started hanging out with her, he was telling me to just make a move already, and even offered to sleep on the couch and let us have the bed, the last time she was over. She declined, and then I ended up giving her a massage on the couch, until 2:30 AM. I wanted to go further, and even told her I wanted to kiss her. After she started seeing this other girl, I talked to her over the phone and asked playfully if I should have gone for it, and she says "You never know if you don't take the risk." I told her that I guess I'll have to be a good girl from now on, tom which she said nothing. Ugh. So confusing. I guess I will just have to feel out the vibe tomorrow.
  14. Oh my gosh. I'm unsure why, but I have not been getting notifications on posts that I created. ChemFem, my husband was diagnosed with PTSD almost two years ago now. It's bad enough that The University Of Colorado in Boulder put him on administrative leave because of it, and then declared him disabled. On top of it he has a deep vein thrombosis, a blood clot in his abdomen. He has been on blood thinners, which have cleared that up, but as a result, he is in near constant, severe pain. With those two things, plus his mentality that he "knew" I was a lesbian when he met me, but thought he could mold me , and recreate what he had with his ex. He blows up every so often. He'll be fine for a a few weeks, saying that he feels like, even though neither one of us is into eachother sexually, that we have found ways to care for eachother, and that he wants to stay together for the kids, so we can give them a stable childhood. Then something will set him off. Like today he came to me to tell me that he had a realization regarding our judgement , that isn't showing up on our credit report, and hasn't the entire time. That even though we have been preapproved for a mortgage, and our credit scores have gone up from paying off debt, that the mortgage could still fall through, and if that happens, he's planning to disappear and never come back. Saying that the kids like me and not him, they listen to me, and are going to turn out just like me, and can't stand me, and doesn't want to be around to see that. I am currently in the process of finding a full-time job to so I can put an end to all of this.
  15. I can definitely relate.. It's extremely frustrating., We have come to some hard truths about out marriage. Sex has never been wonderful, due to feeling nothing emotionally for him. PLUS, i'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian, and not bisexual, because I feel no attraction for men whatsoever. A good friend of mine introduced me to her coworker a couple of months ago, and I feel very strongly attracted to her. I thought it was going to go somewhere, but now, I'm not so sure. We were texting eachother, and things were getting pretty hot. She is single and 8 years younger than me. She met another woman who is closer to her age, and is divorced, and now she isn't contacting me. She still says that she is there for me, and we'll stil get together, but you know you can tell when things change. Although, I'm a little unsure in this world of polyamory, where things stand. I guess I'll se tomorrow.