Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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elliej last won the day on March 23 2016

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About elliej

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    woman of mystere
  • Birthday February 13

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  1. I thought maybe we all have these experiences, and just need a place to tell someone and vent about our feelings. And maybe people can give feedback. This weekend I went to buy some dishes this girl was selling. We had a bit of a chat while I was there. I found out she is a physical trainer. She asked me some information about myself. I told her I was moving and trying to get everything I needed as cheaply as possible to furnish my own place. Later she said she had some extra cutlery I could have. Then she said today she was going to stop by to drop it off. I went out to get it, and we hugged. Then she put her hand on my arm, and she is a pretty girl. And that moment. I felt the attraction. I messaged her thanking her, and she sent me hearts. Oh shit. She's just this random person who probably has a boyfriend, and now I have a crush on her.
  2. Happy New Year! Please read my "single adventures" post for my NYE experience....

  3. So I wanted to post a status update, but it seemed too long and confusing. So that moment where the married woman you are flirting with and will be at the same New Years party as you..... turns up as a mutual friend with the friend you are going to meet. There's more to the story. So the married woman wanted to meet this week, if our schedules coordinated. They didn't. I proposed we just have fun at the party together since we were both going. her husband is in town though. now I met him. I get it. He is super nerdy and reserved. But then my friend comes, with her boyfriend with this other couple. I recognize the woman immediately. My friend brings me over, and it's super awkward for me when she confirms her name and I say nice to meet you. Then I ask my friend privately. So how do you know this other couple??? She said she met the woman on FB. Then later she tells me she met her BF on tinder, and just wanted him to be a one night stand. But now one year later she is in love with him. She tells everyone they met on Facebook.... So she told me she met the other woman on FB..... hmmmmmmm Now I am pretty confused.
  4. Wow ok some better success meeting women through dating app who are really great Wow. So I met a doctor and a woman getting her PhD both I had really good chat with. The doctor is cute, and she was messaging me over the holiday weekend, she and I want the same things in life. The PhD student in married and just wants to be friends with benefits. And she is strikingly beautiful, except she and I aren't looking for the same things, and there are some things she and I don't quite connect over. But this weekend I connected with this guy I really like. But my goal is healthy relationship, so I guess I need to be able to be more objective about that guy if it's healthy. Tonight I don't know what got into me, I asked the doctor to meet me spontaneously, and she loved it. We met at a place near her, not that she lives that far from me. We laughed a lot. I mean she and I have gotten to know each other pretty well. She was playing with her hair by the end, so I think she was into me. The PhD student came back to town with her husband. During the week, they are usually living in different cities. Turns out they plan to be at the same NYE party my friends want to attend. I thought, well that could be sexy. Now she wants to meet for a date before the party. I was initially a little concerned with her the chemistry is going to be through the roof, and then I'm going to be stuck like last time, wanting more and feeling like I have to compete with her husband, which isn't healthy for me. I thought if we met at the NYE party, we could get a little flirt on without any pressure like a date. If we meet before and then I want to go in for a kiss at the party, with her husband there, not sure how that is going to go down. She said he is ok with her dating women outside of their relationship....
  5. Went on my first date with a woman in years.... she was super cute, great date, a lot of laughing. She was definitely playing with her hair...

    1. JadeBleu15


      I love watching a woman play with her hair. However, if I had a choice I would rather be the one playing in it. 

      So wonderful you had a great time. Hope there are more to come. 

  6. my ex bf, who created drama about a supposed new gf in october tweeted tonight he is going to be lonely at Christmas #notmyproblem

  7. Tonight I got offline for a change. And nice to know my knack for meeting strangers hasn't gone away in my new country. I had a hard time connecting with my friends tonight. My phone battery kept dying, so I had to wait 20-30 minutes before I could text them. I went to a cafe while I waited and sat at the only free table. It was packed, so the server asked if three people could join me, and I said sure. They became friendly, and the woman sitting next to me was really pretty. And super friendly, getting really close to me. When my phone finally worked, they made a funny comment that now I had new friends and I should stay. I felt bad because my friends were looking for me. But I wanted to connect with this woman. I did try to get her number. We had discussed that she might want to attend a party that night - she asked me what events were going on. So I asked if I should take her number and send her a text if we found another party. She declined. There wasn't any verbal indication that she liked women or was into me, but it seemed like her guy friend was the one encouraging me to stick around (he was part of a couple). And I really would have liked to explore the chemistry I felt building with this woman. Alas, ships passing in the night since she declined to give me her number.
  8. insecurity about being desirable is actually not "not functioning normally" many people respond in a similar way. You can identify specific components of it. So frequently there is a big anxiety issue. You were able to identify a specific area of anxiety that was triggered. You can do things to cope with the specific anxiety. You can learn healthy coping mechanisms to bring you back to reality. Also changing things in your life to bring in new perspectives can also help maintain this balance. If there are areas you are not challenged or feel stuck or in a rut, these can compound the intensity of the anxiety. So there are things you can do overall in your life to help your mind have a healthier perspective, more elasticity to respond to the triggers and develop healthy coping habits to prevent spiraling out of control. Make sense? And again, I don't think that's necessarily your brain functioning in any abnormal way. It's about channeling your brain in different pathways than the ones which leave you paralyzed or unfunctional, but the triggers and responses of anxiety and insecurity are things many normal people have. Some people have different coping mechanisms which may not be any healthier, like acting out.
  9. didn't say that. she wasn't over her ex. so that's a no-go for me. maybe bringing up the comparison was another warning, but it didn't flag me right-off as a huge deal
  10. She didn't lead with that. She brought it up further into the discussion. Not sure what you mean by red flag. I think there is obviously an experience difference between someone who has only had a few long term committed relationship sexual experiences and someone who has had more partners which maybe weren't always with people that close. But my last boyfriend had FAR more experience than me, and it wasn't really an issue. I think if people just own their insecurities, it really all goes away. The underlying bottom line behind differences in sexual experience/ number are the following: safety/ health. If someone has more partners, there is higher risk, but generally only if they engage in risky behavior. If they are not engaging in risky sex and taking care of their sexual health, then this really shouldn't be an issue. experience/ knowhow. Insecurities arise between sexual partners if one feels pressure to perform at a level higher than their experience. Again, however, as long as these insecurities are addressed, and both are participating in connection and sharing the experience, that's really the issue. Being really good at sex takes a lot of practice. Someone who had one long term relationship versus someone who had just a lot of casual hookups - neither of them could really be good at sex and connecting with a sexual partner. So both could be insecure in terms of intimacy or performance.
  11. Interestingly enough, now that the holidays are here.... the only time of year I actually like crappy romance movies. Only holiday romance movies. I hate general year round romantic made for TV crap. But during the holidays is my one time of year I enjoy this guilty pleasure. ABC, Hallmark etc. But I was just thinking, there are none that are a lesbian story line, and if I am going to binge once a year, I wish it could be more balanced with some options of straight and lesbian pairings.
  12. This is so relevant to a discussion I had this week... Started talking to this woman on Tinder a while ago. Somehow we got to topic about who I had dated. I said I fell somewhere in the bisexual range, and then I felt like she grilled me a little. When I said I had this long complicated history with a man, she jumped to the conclusion that I was 75% hetero. If you want to be so linear, and just distinguish between two different directions of attraction: men and women. I dated women for about 3-5 years I'd say and had a full variety of experiences, so I think my emotional development in relationships with women is pretty even with my emotional development with men. So I'm not a bicurious woman fantasizing about women. But I did feel put on the spot, like I had to prove something. She said she had slept with more women than me, and then said she had sex with 50+ people. That's over twice as many people as I've had sex with total. I don't think it makes her a super lesbian. But I didn't feel ANY room at all for me to be more fluid than that. I didn't feel accepted or equal or able to talk about my relationships with men as equally as valid as my relationships with women.
  13. had a nice session in the women's sauna tonight, and the view was lovely....

  14. Then she messages me on FB. so I told her why I stopped the chat with her. She said she just wanted to talk. She started therapy to help work through some past trauma, so I guess I can support that. But she posted a picture with a friend she had lunch with. Who was tall with dark hair and stunning. She looks like my crush, so that was telling I think. It's not good when one woman is talking to me who does not have as much in the physical chemistry department with me. One time I was on a date like this, and a tall beautiful woman walked by, and I felt like I needed to be on a date with someone I was more physically attracted to. That was this moment kind of. I did visit her friend's profile, and she's not my type because she has different hair color all the time. So she's a little too alternative lifestyle for me.
  15. So after some hot chat with this lady, she messages me from the Lady Gaga concert and asks me to entertain her while she's waiting. Next day though, I ask her how it was, and she said she missed her ex. Next. I stay away from people who are hung up on an ex or the past.