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BiTriMama

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BiTriMama last won the day on December 14 2018

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About BiTriMama

  • Rank
    Ladylike as Fuck
  • Birthday 03/03/1980

Profile Information

  • Location
    California
  • Interests
    Triathlon, hiking, backpacking, camping, surfing, the outdoors in general, furthering my education, running, trail running, skiing, travel
  • Favourite Film
    Swingers, Sideways, Kissing Jessica Stein

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  1. BiTriMama

    A bit of a cliche?

    @Taliame @Androgynygrl I hope both of your husbands have applied for disability through the VA. If not, have them meet with the VSO (veterans service office) and apply ASAP. SO many benefits and money for life. I’m 90% disabled with the VA. (Former Navy corpsman)
  2. BiTriMama

    A bit of a cliche?

    Good luck with your divorce! Who knows, maybe the way things work with women will work out better for you. Women flirt so differently from men. The two women I’ve seriously dated have had to be extremely explicit about their feelings for me, as I just was not picking up on their attraction. A lot of people find that dating online is easiest. It comes with its own hiccups, but it works. There are tons of posts here about it (and about other ways to meet women). In my limited experience, attraction between women is less physical and more mental. I wouldn’t classify either of the women I’ve been serious with as “my type,” but I was incredibly attracted to them as I got to know them. I don’t personally think you need to be with a woman to be “allowed” to identify as bi. Choose what you feel describes you based on what happens between your ears. You’ll find your way around. Start exploring queer circles and events in your area. Get into the forums here. And when you’re ready, start poking around the dating sites/apps!
  3. Non-monogamy is a more broad term for anything that is not strict monogamy. Polyamory is generally more specific to more than one relationship, often with a primary relationship and then other relationships branching off of that. It still includes a level of commitment to all those involved. But that doesn’t include people who might have the occasional threesome or allow for a FWB on the side or something even more casual, or even cheating (non-ethical non-monogamy) where non-monogamy encompasses all of those. I have had two poly relationships. In my marriage we had a closed triad, where we had a girlfriend, and none of us would date others outside that. Later I dated the same woman (after leaving the same marriage for other reasons), and we had a poly arrangement. You still have agreements in any case, which can be violated. My ex-GF wasn’t able to adhere to our agreements which is what broke us up. Any of these relationship styles require a lot of trust, honesty and communication in order for them to work over the long term. There are a lot of threads on the site where women have shared their experiences with non-monogamy (both ethical and non-ethical).
  4. BiTriMama

    My Dad's Friend

    I’m glad to see that OP was able to go to her dad about the situation. I am closing this thread.
  5. BiTriMama

    Hey I’m new!

    Welcome! This is a great place for support while you’re figuring things out. We ask that you not invite random messages or send them without having build a rapport in the forums. Most of the action on this site is there. Have you spoken with your partner about your feelings? It sounds like he might be supportive. As far as what to do, that depends on you two and what feels right for you. You’ll see that there are all types on here, and you can read stories from ladies who have been there.
  6. Keep the conversation going. Things may evolve as you both figure out what you want, what’s okay, what’s triggering, and what may be okay over time. I like to recommend the books The Ethical Slut and Opening Up. They’ll help you avoid common mistakes, and spark conversations that will help you both find your boundaries. If possible, have him read them, too, before you start talking too much about it. my ex-h and I (ex for other reasons) tried a triad situation. We had something on and off for 6 months with one woman. It didn’t work out for several reasons. I don’t think any relationship with someone else would have worked with my ex-H. But we did keep talking (it actually improved our communication in some ways for awhile). Later, that same woman and I dated for a year (well after I’d left my marriage). She identifies as poly, and I tried to go with it, but she had a hard time sticking to our agreed-upon boundaries, and that broke us up. Each situation is different. Keep checking in with each other, and give full disclosure (to a level he says he’s comfortable with- some people have agreements about what is or is not said).
  7. Let’s try to keep this thread on-topic. These ICE raids are a very real thing, these concentration camps and separating families are real things, and many people live in fear every single day in a way that many other cannot fathom. It’s not okay to minimize or dismiss another’s experiences. The current political climate has given a lot of racist people free reign to fly their racist flag carte blanche, and it is NOT the same country it was 4 years ago. What @caliwoman is describing is happening all over the country every single day, in ways it hasn’t in almost a century. It is not acceptable for people to live in fear every single day, but it’s happening, and it’s despicable. As a reminder, this site is a SUPPORT forum. HEALTHY debate is allowed. We will not always agree with one another. However, name calling and intentionally provoking members are not acceptable.
  8. Lubricant can make ALL the difference! You should always use a lubricant that’s compatible with your contraception (for example, water-based lubricant with latex condoms or latex anything). He should still proceed slowly, with you in charge of the pace, or you can get on top and go as you’re comfortable. But lubricant will make it 1000x more comfortable!! FWIW, my first time having sex with a guy was not painful. Maybe SOME women experience pain, but not most.
  9. I would ask your doctor for a referral for pelvic floor physical therapy. Do you have any difficulty with urination or bowel movements? Are you waiting until you’re “warmed up” before you try to have penetrative sex? Are you using lubricant? Do you masturbate at all?
  10. I listened to a lot of the early episodes. But then it turned into a lot of stuff about blow jobs and I was like, meh. They’re pretty funny, though!
  11. Please hit report in the future so that we can tackle these. Thanks!
  12. Well, I go camping for a few days and you get swamped!!  Thanks for holding down the fort!  <3

    1. leigh11

      leigh11

      Lol inconsiderate of you to go camping lol lol. Hope it was a great getaway xxx

  13. BiTriMama

    New and confused

    Welcome! This is a wonderful place for support. There is a big difference between being bi and being gay, and having an interest in women does not exclude an interest in men. It also does not mean you want the same things, same traits, same experiences with both. Often, where we fall tends to wax and wane along a spectrum, rather than landing squarely at the 50 yard line (or in either end zone, for that matter!). Keep talking, dig through the forums here, and hopefully in time you’ll figure out what feels right for you. You’re the only one who can answer that for yourself, and you don’t have to have all the answers. Good luck!
  14. It used to be in How Our Forum Works, but that whole forum went away, and it’s killing us! We’ve been harassing the admin to bring it back, because Leigh and I have been fielding all the newbies without that, so people don’t realize when they join that they’re violating anything, and we can’t give them a warning and direct them to the rules anymore. It sucks, but short of starting from scratch, there isn’t much else we can do for now.
  15. What kind of advice are you looking for? Have you dug through the forums at all yet? You’ll likely find there are a lot of women who have been where you are and sought out similar advice that you may find helpful.
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