BiTriMama

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BiTriMama last won the day on April 14

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About BiTriMama

  • Rank
    Ladylike as Fuck
  • Birthday 03/03/1980

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  • Location
    California
  • Interests
    Triathlon, hiking, backpacking, camping, surfing, the outdoors in general, furthering my education, running, trail running, skiing, travel
  • Favourite Film
    Swingers, Sideways, Kissing Jessica Stein

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  1. Take a deep breath, and don't overthink this. You're meeting for a date, not an engagement, or even a commitment for a second date. Keep it low key, and don't let too much time pass before you respond. Women who want to meet up sooner than later are often no-bullshit, and they've always been my best bets when talking to women online. Long, drawn-out exchanges end up waning off, or end up being fakes or flakes. Go grab a drink in a local pub or bar, or a restaurant with a nice bar. I agree about keeping it casual, and not going too over-the-top with clothes and make-up. You're going to be nervous. She will be, too! It's okay! The only way to get over that fear is to just DO it. Worst thing that happens? One or both of you isn't interested, and you go your separate ways. You might get rejected, but that can happen on ANY date, and so far, that's never killed anyone. It hurts, it sucks, but you get through it. Don't go into it convinced she's going to reject you, or that will become a self-fulfilling prophecy! HAVE FUN!!! Update us after your date!
  2. The first image in my head reading the title was a bunch of inexperienced women staring at each other, all afraid to make a move. LOL But then you add alcohol, and... Really, that's not the best way to lubricate the situation, no pun intended. Women might consent to things they may not otherwise, not to mention how much more difficult it is to get off when you've had too much alcohol! But I will say that my most gratifying experiences with women (not that I've ever had more than one at a time) have been when they are more intimate and with someone with whom I have already established trust and chemistry. I think if I wasn't in a monogamous relationship, and the opportunity came up to attend something like this, I might go out of morbid curiosity, but it's certainly not what I would have wanted for my first experience.
  3. I'm so sorry to hear you've had to endure this, but I am really glad you're rid of him. Have you considered reporting this, and doing a police report? He doesn't sound like someone who would take responsibility for his actions, and sometimes, it can take extreme measures. It can also help prevent this from happening to someone else. But I also understand if you choose not to go that route. I'm gad to hear you have good support around you, and that you're reaching out to this rape survivor counseling. Sadly, this is an experience many of us (myself included) have experienced somewhere along the way, and it's unacceptable! But it's wonderful that there are resources out there. Hugs!!
  4. You cannot hold a marriage together on your own. Have you two sought counseling? It takes two people working at it to make a marriage work, and she needs to hold up her end of the bargain. It doesn't take a lot of energy at the end of the day to curl up together when you're tired, or give your partner a deep kiss at random in the kitchen. We do what we prioritize (because realistically, it can't all fit in sometimes). Sex, or at least, sex with you, isn't a priority. If she refuses to engage in trying to improve things, or to hear your concerns and needs, then it's up to you to decide what you're willing to deal with moving forward. Staying for the kids never goes well. You deserve to be happy, and I would guess she isn't happy, either.
  5. Welcome to the site! I think there are a lot of us who lean more toward women (I lean so hard I now identify as gay, but I'm more like homoflexible). I will say that you owe it to yourself to get these answers about your sexuality before you end up married to a guy and having kids. It becomes WAY more complicated when you start adding that stuff, and the urge to be with a woman doesn't tend to fade. You can see posts all over this site about that. Many of the women here can relate to the feelings you're struggling with. Dive into the forums- you'll see lots of relatable posts! If you haven't already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rule and other helpful posts.
  6. Not at all! There are many threads about this stuff throughout the site, and a lot of us have been married and seeking a woman. There are more couples and married women than there are women willing to date them, so just be aware. Seeking a woman in the same situation may be your best bet. Don’t give up on the dating sites. Cast a wide net, and stay active. It takes a lot of sifting to find someone worthwhile who isn’t a flake, but they DO exist. I met my GF, who I now live with, on a dating app. You just never know!
  7. Welcome! It IS kind of awesome, I will say! It’s a big realization when you realize that that’s what you want. I’m glad you’ve found us! You’ll find many women here who can relate to your situation. If you haven’t already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts.
  8. Welcome! If you haven’t already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts. Dive into the forums- you’ll see you’re far from alone!! It’s great that your husband is supportive! Are you considering meeting women as well? If you’re considering something outside of monogamy, I highly recommend reading The Ethical Slut by Janet W Hardy and Dossie Easton. Even if you’re only kind of, maybe, but not sure, considering it, I would read that. You’ve found a great corner of the internet with lots of support and great advice!
  9. It’s always a matter of sifting through the rubbish to find the treasures. But they ARE out there. I’ve met all kinds online, including my GF, who I live with. Don’t give up!! There are some threads here about dating sites, which you may find useful.
  10. Have you read The Ethical Slut by Janet W Hardy and Dossie Easton yet? That will give you some great guidance for this, and you ought to have your partner read it, too, if they haven't. It's certainly not a relationship style that works for everyone, but it can work and be very fulfilling with the right parties involved. Jealousy is a normal human emotion, and that book addresses it. MoreThanTwo.com is a site that has some stuff, but I found their stuff to be very anti-monogamy, and I disagree with a lot of the perspectives I found there. I found The Ethical Slut more to my taste, but check them both out.
  11. There are several posts here about online dating, and I would check them out, especially some of the tips and warnings to keep yourself safe. I met my GF on Plenty of Fish (after being single for over a year). I met my prior GF on OKCupid. I've met women from Her before as well. All of the apps have their merits. I would suggest casting a wide net and seeing what's out there.
  12. I agree that your husband needs to get over himself. It's really NOT a big deal, and he needs to quit shaming you for that. I have seen a gazillion nipples in my lifetime (I was a labor a delivery nurse for 2 years and did lactation work for years before that, so I saw my fair share!). It's just a variation. Is his penis flawless? I mean, really? Are his nipples star-worthy? Plenty of women have split, inverted, flat, large, tiny, asymmetrical, high, low, or otherwise "not exactly what society says is perfect" nipples. MOST women don't have perfect nipples. Plus, we all have our preferences for what we like, not that we have say over what our partners have, and if that's a deal-breaker, that says more about that person than the nipple-haver! I don't think this woman needs warning. My GF has inverted nipples, and it's really no big deal. I just had to learn how they work for her, and really, you need to learn how each person's body works, anyway! I'm also glad she didn't "warn" me about them, because that would make me feel like she was embarrassed by them, or ashamed, and they're not something within her control, and they are just another part of her that I adore. I think we all have our body hang-ups, many of which have been commented on over the years by some partner we've had. I have some saggy skin between weight loss and pregnancy, and it made me super self-conscious, especially when I was married and we started dating a woman, who would be the first person to see me like that aside from my husband. But she didn't seem bothered by it, and she had a little loose skin on her belly as well from having two kids, which made me feel A LOT more comfortable.
  13. I agree that it can be good to have that social clean out every so often, even if it does feel lonely. It's quite possible that you are changing, but maybe for the better, and that will attract better people into your life. I know that when I've gone through periods of self-growth, it's changed my relationships on the whole, and I have better people than ever in my life right now. My two closest friends are amazing, my girlfriend is incredible, I am in a great workplace, things have come together in ways I could never have imagined. One of my closest friends of 20 years just stopped responding to me several months ago. She still speaks with my mom occasionally, and she's told my mom that she's down and feels like I would judge her decisions (she's making some really poor life choices right now, but that's kind of been her way). I've had other people exit my life, either on their own or by my choice, when I started standing firm in my boundaries. And yes, serious illness has its way of teasing out the real people in your life. One of my aforementioned close friends deals with this, and finds there are only a few of us who stick with her through the shit times. I'm glad to hear you're in a better frame of mind. It's okay to have those low points. Just don't let them get the better of you. Let this time be one to focus on self-improvement and self-happiness! Dive into your hobbies and talents and really nourish that part of your life. What do you need to work on in yourself? Focus on being an even better you, who will invite even better people into your life.
  14. Welcome to the site! If you haven't already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts. It can be confusing when you've grown up with more black-and-white thinking. You're gay or straight. You're monogamous or cheating. But there is definitely a lot of gray area where many people live. I didn't recognize what I felt for girls as attraction until adulthood. I felt like having ANY attraction to guys meant you were straight, and gay was a sin/perverted, etc, so I didn't even entertain the thought. So you ask, are you a lesbian? Maybe, but only you can determine that one. Eventually, I realized I am, and I am much happier and fulfilled living with a woman. It sounds like your partner is game to let you explore this part of yourself, which is a very loving gesture unto itself. I would recommend both of you read The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton, and then discuss. It'll help you both avoid a lot of the common mistakes and address certain topics that you might not have thought of otherwise. As you've discovered, there are MANY women here who can relate to your situation, and tons of posts about this. Read through the various forums, and feel free to respond to threads when you're ready. Welcome!