BiTriMama

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BiTriMama last won the day on September 6

BiTriMama had the most liked content!

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About BiTriMama

  • Rank
    Ladylike as Fuck
  • Birthday 03/03/1980

Profile Information

  • Location
    California
  • Interests
    Triathlon, hiking, backpacking, camping, surfing, the outdoors in general, furthering my education, running, trail running, skiing, travel
  • Favourite Film
    Swingers, Sideways, Kissing Jessica Stein

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  1. Give her some time. Expecting anyone to be 100% okay with it, especially your parents, who have probably envisioned your wedding and your married life since you were born, is asking a lot of people. This is brand new information for her, so let her have her initial freak out, and then settle into her new reality. If this is the worst of the freak outs, you're doing REALLY well. It doesn't even sound like she's judging you or anything, but just like this caught her off guard. She doesn't have to totally understand it, but rather accept that it's how YOU feel. I think she'll get there sooner than later. Congratulations and great job coming out! You're taking some HUGE steps!!
  2. Also, FWIW, I think my mom is at least bicurious, if not bisexual. She's mentioned a couple of girl crushes to me before, like the lesbian who sold her her last house- she said if she was ever with a woman, it would be someone like her, and mentioned that woman a few times and has made a few passing comments here and there over the years. She is potentially on the verge of leaving my stepdad right now, and frankly, I hope she goes out and explores! I want her to know herself and live her life without regrets. Now, granted, this is something that's been going on for the better part of 10+ years, so I have had plenty of time to understand and accept that, but it was never anything except maybe a little weird at first.
  3. I agree about putting it casually in another conversation. That's usually how I come out in general to people. Keep it more natural, and not like you're telling her you have cancer. At least you've already planted the seed, that should make it easier. You can answer any questions she has about it then. Don't bring up what YOU think her concerns are- let her ask you, otherwise, you risk GIVING her things to be worried about! Let her know you're proud of her activism and being out, and maybe that you wish you'd felt that brave at her age (whatever's true for you).
  4. I get the messy marriage, sexuality aside. I left a bad marriage for reasons outside of my sexuality almost 3 years ago, and it was the best thing I ever did. Do you want to stay married?
  5. Welcome to the site! This is a wonderful support forum. If you haven't already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to review the site rules and other helpful posts. Are you out to anyone around you? That might be a good place to start. Check out support groups and LGBT events in your area. You can even meet friends on dating sites. There really are people there seeking friends! I met one of my closest friends on OKCupid! Facebook can be a good way to find LGBT groups and events in your area, as can Meetup.com. I hope that helps get you started!
  6. Welcome to the site! This is a wonderful place for support. Please review the site rules and other helpful posts in How Our Forum Works. Be honest with your husband about what you want. Realistically, finding a woman who will let him watch this will be REALLY hard. There are lots of dating sites out there, which might be a good place to start, as you can put your situation into your profile.` Spend some time reading through posts in the forums, and you'll see that many women have been in similar situations. Enjoy the site!
  7. Welcome to the site! If you haven't already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts. If you peruse this forum, you will find many posts with this same question. It's wonderful he's open to letting you explore! Try dating apps/sites, socials for gay/bi women, and just being out in the world and honest about your situation.
  8. Very little romance about it! LOL We had a lot of fun together. Had a quickie at the summit of a mountain we climbed together just before someone else came up!
  9. On a lifeguard tower in Coronado (San Diego). Was fun with the wind blowing and the sound of the ocean in the background!
  10. Welcome to the site! If you haven't yet, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts. Come out as you're ready. Are you married? Does your partner know?
  11. Welcome to the site! If you haven't yet, please check out the site rules and other helpful posts in How Our Forum Works. You're far from alone! This is a great place for support from other women who understand your plight.
  12. We work hard to keep that predatory grossness away. It slips in every so often, but if it does, feel free to report it. We try to take care of it right away. We feel it's important to have a safe space to be able to express something that for so many is sch a fragile element of our being.
  13. Welcome to the site! If you haven't already, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to review the site rules and other helpful posts. As you've figured out, you're FAR from alone! The Married forum is chock full of posts about how to broach the subject with your husband (and if you're patient, I'm in the process of putting together some FAQ posts with links to many threads on the same topic, including that one). It's hard to tell your husband something he never knew about you that's so significant, but it can also be a blessing. Let him absorb one element at a time, but if he asks if you want to explore, be honest. Give him time to absorb this before you even consider looking for someone, but be honest that yes, that is something you want. If he insists on being involved, and you really want to do it on your own, be clear about that, too. Involving him just to be allowed to do something can lead to resentment (which many of us can attest to). Be patient with the process, and keep coming back here for support as needed. Do you have any friends that know about this? Being able to vent in real life makes a big difference, too! Good luck!
  14. Welcome to the site! If you haven't already, please review the site rules and other helpful posts in How Our Forum Works. I edited down your original post, as this is not a dating site (though yes, connections happen). It's wonderful that your husband is into you being into women! There's a great book you both ought to read if you're planning to explore this called The Ethical Slut by Dossie Eaton. Do you have any friends you might try coming out to? You might be surprised who else is in a similar situation! When I was married, I was fairly out about our situation (seeking a triad, had one for a few months), and I was FLOORED by how many others were looking for the same thing!
  15. Welcome to the site! If you haven't yet, be sure to check out How Our Forum Works to see the site rules and other helpful posts. It's tough when you and your husband can't see eye to eye on how this could play out. Some suggested reading: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman (it sounds like you two have different love languages), and The Ethical Slut by Dossie Eaton. Appeasing him by trying to do this with him would likely make you resent him. Hopefully you can find a meeting of the minds!