Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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lostgirl78 last won the day on January 20 2015

lostgirl78 had the most liked content!

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About lostgirl78

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    Lost and confused
  • Birthday July 8

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    A song of ice and fire series
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    Game of thrones
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    Lord of the rings trilogy

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  1. Wow, looks like my post got totally taken over and turned into a feminist “all men are evil, and we must rise against” post. I’m sure looking at all of the comments here, that I’m not going to be the most popular person her on Shy’s after I say this. But I really don’t care. I don’t hate feminism, I’m all about women getting equal pay and opportunities. I’m 100% for gender equality. But there have been a lot of things stated on this post that I do not agree with. I think that when you go into a marriage expecting monogamy, it’s unfair to “demand” for your partner to be okay with you going outside of your marriage for sexual or emotional intimacy. Anyone would be blindsided by that conversation. If you enter a marriage, heterosexual or homosexual, and you think your partner is straight or gay, and then years later, find out that they are actually bisexual and want to be with someone other than yourself, of course you aren’t going to be okay with that. It’s not what you agreed on when entering the marriage. I would be surprised and insecure if my husband told me that he was bisexual and wanted to explore that part of himself. So I don’t blame him for not being okay with my sexuality that was unknown to him when we got married. As far as saying that gay relationships are more flexible, that isn’t necessarily true either. I know a lot of gay and lesbian couples who are very monotonous. I also know several who have gotten divorced due to infidelity. Just like I know many heterosexual couples that are in open marriages and are perfectly happy. I don’t think that it’s fair to say that one is more flexible than the other. That’s just a very general statement that’s really untrue.
  2. He hasn’t outright given me an ultimatum, it’s just understood that he considers it cheating. And if I did cheat again, and he found out about it, he will leave. But we haven’t even discussed my sexuality in over a year. It’s like if it’s not talked about he thinks I will forget about it. If I stood up to him and said, hey, I really want to have a sexual relationship with a woman, I know he’d say that’s it. He’d ask for a divorce. He’s not okay with sharing me with anyone. He’s not okay with me having any intimacy with anyone but him. Even if it’s only emotional.
  3. I wish I had never had any of those conversations. I wish I had admitted it to myself without talking to him at the same time. I literally didn’t admit to myself that I was actually bisexual until he flat out asked me if I was a lesbian. It took me by surprise. Here I was thinking “it would be really hot to have a threesome with him.” Thinking to myself that “it’s every guys fantasy right? I’m a good wife letting my husband have that. And how hot it would be to share that with him.” But when he asked me that, I thought to myself, What? A lesbian? And it was like my whole life flashed before me like a movie screen. It went all the way back to my very first girl crush, when I was 7 years old. Me always wanting to be as close as possible to my attractive female friends. Me dreaming about and fantasizing about kissing them. Lusting over their figures. And that’s when it hit me, clear as day. No, I’m not a lesbian, but I am absolutely bi. I guess I should have known he would have reacted the way he did. He was always jealous and insecure. Since we were kids.
  4. The other thing is, even though I’ve always been bisexual, I haven’t always admitted it to myself. When I started to realize my desires for being with a woman were getting very intense, I would talk to him about it. Like four play. Mentioning how fun and sexy it would be to have a threesome. At first he was all over it. Agreeing with me. Then when he realized how much I really wanted it, he started to get worried and straight out asked if I was a lesbian. That is when I admitted to myself, and him, that I am bisexual. It never occurred to me to keep those feelings and thought to myself. I guess hindsight is 20/20.
  5. This. Sometimes I wish I never would have told him about my sexuality at all. Then I could have a female fwb and he wouldn’t be any the wiser. But because he does know, and because he knows I’ve cheated before, I can’t even have a perfectly platonic girls night out with a straight friend without him being suspicious and jealous. What am I talking about? I just can’t have one. Period. He gets mad if I go to work events. Or Skype with my lifetime best friend who lives far away. Much less want to go out with some friends.
  6. I think that’s exactly it. I just don’t know exactly what that is yet.
  7. Thank you. It’s been a struggle. When I first came out to myself, I did to him as well. He wasn’t okay because he thought I wanted to leave him for a woman. He was afraid I was a lesbian, not bi. I tried to reassure him. I even said I wanted my first experience with a woman to be with him. As a threesome. (I know most women on here are very against that) He would go back and forth. One day saying he’s up for it, then the next being very insecure. It created a huge wedge between us. I felt I couldn’t talk to him. After that he became very distant and upsupportive in every aspect of my life. I became depressed and that’s eventually what caused me to cheat. The need for affection. Since then he has been very untrusting and insecure about every single friend I make. Even new work relationships. So needless to say, we don’t talk about it. AT ALL!
  8. Holy friggin hot!!!! Damn, I need a cold shower after reading that!
  9. Glad you’re on here! Now get to posting so you can start to have more access to things and PM!!
  10. Thank you all for your responses. I’m not asking if I should leave my husband or not. I know that that’s a question only I can answer. I guess I’m asking how anyone can manage being in a maogomous relationship when you have these desires to be with both sexes?
  11. Thank you hun! I know we talk a lot about this. And I very much appreciate your friendship and your advice!! Xoxo
  12. Yes. STILL. Sometimes I feel like it’s getting better, then it goes right back. It’s like two steps forward and four steps back. I just don’t know anymore. We are supposed to be working on being together. But it’s not really “good”. I don’t know if the trust will ever return. And probably for good reason since I’m constantly thinking about being with a woman again. I’ll PM you when I can.
  13. I think that Kenzie needs to start posting and commenting! Get in there girl! Build up your posts and make some friends!! 

  14. I would appreciate any input you have on this, actually. Will you PM me with your thoughts?
  15. Hey ladies! I am an older member, meaning I’ve been on the site for several years now. I tend to come and go. I haven’t been actively on for about a year now. But here I am again, struggling with my thoughts and emotions, and just needing some advice and support. A little background since most of you on here don’t know me. I’m married and have kids. My husband knows I’m bi and has never really been okay with it. I came out to him many years after we were married. Mostly because I was in denial myself. A while back I cheated on my husband with a woman. We are still together but he is still not over it. Since then I’ve been trying to be the good, devoted wife. But I’m not happy. And I know that part of the reason I’m not happy, among other things, is that I still want a woman in my life. My kids are younger, and I don’t want to destroy our family and leave my husband just so I can give in to these desires. But I also don’t know if I can live like this for the rest of my life. Always wanting something I can’t have. Always being scrutinized. Never being trusted to have any friendships with either men or women. Even at work. Never having a life of my own. Never again feeling the loving, soft, sensual touch of a woman. What I wish I could have, and know I never could, is for my husband to be okay with me having a female fwb. But since that isn’t a possibility, I’m stuck fantasizing about it, and driving myself crazy! What do I do? How do any of you that are married to men, deal with it? Sometimes the desire is so strong that I find myself thinking about cheating again. (I know that sounds horrible) Does anyone have any insight or advice to offer me?