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Found 118 results

  1. I'm confused by what a previous gf said to me the other day - she doesn't class herself as bi or lesbian and isn't attracted to any girl apart from me..and said she never finds any girl attractive at all..!!?? To which I replied you must be bi she's adamant she's not.. even though I can tell you now she is (lol) ;) The older I get the more interested I am in women (blush) How do you see yourself ? Do you find the older you get the more you yearn for it ?
  2. Thought the ladies on here may be interested. Deals with some of the topics we discuss on here regularly
  3. Hey guys! I need some advice on my ongoing situation. To keep it short, there's this girl who I'm basically in love with. She's a year older than me and we work together, but over the past month or so we've become insanely close out of the blue. I've known her for a few years now but we never really used to talk at work or even notice each other much until last month, which was super strange. I have no idea why it happened. At first, i was getting vibes from her and she was definitely flirting with me. We are very touchy with each other and it doesn't feel awkward or weird. One day, she mentioned something about how she used to think she was a lesbian because she could never get any guys in high school or something like that. But other than that, she hasn't ever really verbally confirmed her sexuality. I'm assuming she's straight. She has a boyfriend and they are serious, they've been together for at least three years. I'm bi, and I think she knows. I've talked about having feelings for girls (or a girl) before to her. Lately, my feelings and attraction for her have skyrocketed and it's starting to drive me insane!!! I have no idea what to do or how to proceed. I want to be with her all the time and cuddle and be intimate with her...it's not even necessarily sex. I just want to be close with her all the time, and when I am with her I'm so happy. I miss her so much every second i'm not with her, which is quite a lot. I'm worried if I tell her, it could make things awkward between us and I don't want that because we work together. I think she'd be understanding, but you never know. Especially since she has a boyfriend. She's never ruled out being attracted to women or being willing to experiment before. Basically, I just don't know how to proceed. I'm seeing her again in a few days and I'd like some advice on how I can either talk to her about my feelings without it becoming terribly awkward (we're both in our early 20's). Thank you so much! :-)
  4. So I found this show the other day and it is already on season two. I need to watch season one. The show is about a couple who the husband hires a hooker to cheat on his wife and then the wife tracks her down and ends up in a relationship with her and they move her in to their house. Looks to be interesting.
  5. Recently, I came out as bisxual. I told my friend and she was so great about it. But i confessed i had no idea what I was doing or what I want. Being a lesbian herself, she said I should explore to figure things out. That is what helped her. A couple weeks later, I ended up messaging someone from school who was a few years ahead of me but we had mutual friends. It was nice and innocent enough, so we decided to meet up one night to talk after he got off work (it was the best time we could find). Very early into our conversation he asked me if I had lost my virginity and I answered honestly with a "no"; it has always been something I felt proud of being able to say. I felt a little weird about it him asking me so early but I ignored the feeling in my gut. When we met up, we talked for a while and walked around. It was a simple walk in the park at night, looking at the stars and learning about each other. Then, he pushed things further. I told him before that I wasn't that kind of girl but we were in the moment and I've never been in that kind of situation before. We didn't have sex but we did take it pretty far for our first time meeting. After that night, I realised a few things. I know in my gut that he would have pushed me further if I didn't keep stopping him and telling him to wait. Now even his name, the taste of the gum I was chewing that night, the memories of a lot of "firsts" make me feel sick to my stomach and feel a lot of regret. He told me he has slept with a lot of girls before and that he even had a list! I ignored all of these red flags and stayed when I now know that I should have left him right then. It was somethhing new and i wanted to figire out what i wanted. This was the to do it right!? Now I know I was wrong. He knew i was new to everything and nervous and he fed off that. He enjoyed the taking so many of my first-time experiences that I was not sure I was ready to have yet. I feel as if I were his prey. I feel like he used me for another name to add to his list and I don't know how to handle these thoughts. It's been about a month and it still gives me chills (not the good kind, the creepy kind). I've only talked to a couple of people about this and they all said "just block him" or "just find someone else in order to forget him" but I don't want to put myself in that kind of situation again. It has made me seriously think about who I am as a person and what it would mean if I were to use someone else to forget. I would be using someone as I feel I have been used. I don't want that; that's not who I am. I won't talk to him again and I ended things. But I still can't shake what has scarred my memory. He has become the memory that haunts my mind as if to remind myself of just how naive I was and capable of being made felt like a piece of shit that can pressured into things. I don't know what to do.
  6. I fall between being bisexual/demisexual/sapio. When I was 19 I came out to one of my closest friends but never felt the need/urge to come out to anyone else. Growing up I thought I just admired other women in a girl crush kind of way and didn't get sexual urges when I kissed my girl friends, like I did with guys. It was only until my late teens when I actually recognised how much I liked this girl at my college - even one of the guys in my class noticed I did and playfully pointed it out. I liked another girl in my class too but we were friends. I still didn't quite understand my sexuality like I do now. I don't really discuss who I like with my friends/family. I only really discuss briefly whether I've had a date but ive always been a private person in that retrospect. I actually find having to tell people who I'm dating and why rather exhausting. Hetero people can date the opposite sex and not have to be questioned about it beyond who the person is and what they do. Where as for an LGBTQ+ person it's like we have to prepare for a Ted talk and Q&A... "is the other person gay or bi" "why have you hidden this from me" "so are you gay now" etc. I just want to be like Illana from Broad City. Unapologetically dating whoever she wants and not having any questions asked. Just being her!
  7. I'm taking the time to figure out my bisexuality but something has weighed heavy on my mind. Is it a struggle for lesbians to engage in something with a women who has never had experience being with other women? I'm asking because if I ever get the courage to try and put myself out there or feel out vibes, I'm wondering if it would save me more rejection if I stuck to finding connections with bisexual women instead? At least to start off? I don't know, I think I'm just feeling a little embarrassed that I'm 30 and have never had any experience dating women. I'm afraid that it's going to be a turn off for women who know exactly what they want. Plus I'm attracted to women who are strictly lesbian so I feel very conflicted about even trying. I know I can't predict who will break my heart, but are there any expectations I can set so that rejection won't damage me so bad that I force myself to be straight? Should I prepare myself for lesbians to be out of my league because I'm so new at this?
  8. Overwhelemed and underprilidged. I remember when I saw her, for the first time. She walzed across the room. She had long brown hair and she was just back from Cairns. She was a doctor. But she was opposite to all of the other doctors. Calm and cool with this tendency to float unnoticed. But I noticed. It was the first time id noticed. And there are so many days that I wish that I never noticed. But I did. And that was the beginning of the end really. The last time my head would be clear forever. ...I would love to share more of my story. But is this the best place for it or a forum? Or should I blog? Help! I am new to shybi...
  9. My lady crush's fiance coined a new term while i was over at their house yesterday: lesbinym. His explanation of the definition of the word had me cracking up once the confusion went away. Crush was playing Skyrim, which is why he used ridiculous words like "stoneflix". "Lesbinyms. They're something that seem like lesbians, but they're not. Kind of like homonyms. They look like lesbians because they do things that lesbians do, but they aren't actually lesbians. They're not in an actual relationship. It's not rockbook official.. or.. posted on their mycave wall. But definitely stoneflix and chill. Alchemy and bone. No need for rock and paper, they're all about scissoring!" Obviously, he was a tad inebriated.
  10. Hi everyone, This is the first time I have ever come somewhere like this! Im 42, look and feel younger and really, really want to find a safe way to know if my fantasies are what I want in my reality. I promised myself many years ago that I will have an experience with another woman but it just hasn't happened. OH knows, he is the only person I have ever told and of course he thinks it's s huge turn on and would live to be part of it. I don't know how I feel about thatwould like the reassurance of his company, but this is something I want for me. I have no desire to see him with another woman, I would enjoy having him watch me though. I have no idea how to meet someone. I confess I don't want a full emotional attachment because I don't want my relationship to suffer or be compromised in any way. I just want to experience sex with a woman. Maybe go that far, I don't know! Is this too much to ask of him and of the woman in my imagination? I really feel this is something to take gently, something I want and would live to have him see. I would enjoy it turning him on, but it has to be at my pace. Thoughts? X
  11. For quite some time now, I thought I was basically just on the verge of being a lesbian, with only my attraction and love for my husband being the reason i could say "bisexual". Any attraction I'd feel would inevitably be towards a woman, never another man. Husband and i would check out women together, so many would catch my eye. Then i started sleeping with "her" and a weird thing happened: other women don't really catch my eye anymore either. I can admit objective attractiveness, but it's like all other women pale compared to her, the way all other men pale compared to my husband. He and i have always had this thing where we'd alert the other of an attractive woman while out in public... I've stopped looking, and anytime he points someone out lately, my general response is *shoulder shrug* ".... eh". Last night, a close friend had a birthday party and he was giving me the "hey, look over there" eyes... and again, when i saw the objectively beautiful girl he was referring to, my response was "... eh". He burst out in laughter and said "you really do only need one of each, don't you?" It's not that i don't find other women attractive... I think it's just that when i find the person that fulfills a certain need, my brain shuts off to others who might also fulfill that need, because it's already being fulfilled. Never knew that about myself until recently.. I've just been assuming I was "mostly gay".
  12. I have been attracted to females my whole life but never had the guts to really explore it. I talk to my boyfriend and told him that I wasn't wanting a relationship was a girl but I was curious about the other part of it and he gave me the okay to explore but I'm not really sure how to go about that
  13. There hasn't been much happening over here. I have been chatting every now and then and browsing apps like Her and Tinder. I matched with a couple of woman, but I still haven't clicked with any of them. It seems like most people are either looking for just friendship or just sex. I'm open to making new friends, but I am not interesting in a purely sexual relationship with anyone. Hubby and I also talked a little, and he still wants to be involved. Maybe she would be our friend with benefits... Or maybe she would be a girlfriend. I really don't know yet. He has also mentioned twice that he has a friend who is bi. I met her once, but I don't know... I guess we would have to all meet up and see how it goes. I don't have a problem with him being involved, but I don't think I am going to find someone who is interested in both of us. We'll see. I guess he doesn't have a problem with it being just me and her at first. We'll have to talk more so I can fully understand how he's feeling. I just don't know if I should do it now or wait to see if I can even if I can even find someone.
  14. What, if any, bisexual/Pride themed items do you have? I have a pair of bisexual earrings and just bought a bisexual tank top to wear to Austin Pride later this month.
  15. Ladies for those who havent read my first couple of posts, I'm about to get married and my dilemma was to tell or not to tell my future husband I'm bisexual. Only a close friend knows the real me but after listening to some wise words on here and I want to be honest, I am going to tell my partner who I really am and have been for over 30yrs. I'm now trying to find the right moment, I know there never is one, but I feel now that I want to scream it out loud. This is having only told my friend a few months ago and kept it all to myself for most of my life. I never thought i would ever get to this point! Did anyone else feel like this? I'm sure you did, I just need someone to tell me, some confirmation. Thank you Ladies x
  16. I am bisexual.. I have always had an attraction to both men and women. I have never been in a relationship with a woman, other than friendship and some crushes.. which left me crushed. I am happily married. I met my husband 6 years ago this month. I was open to a deeper type of relationship at the time and looking to settle down. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we are pretty perfect for each other. - We work together as parents and as a couple which is very important to me. So, why do I feel like I still want to be with a woman sexually? - There are times, when it's an overwhelming sensation.. I can't stop thinking about meeting someone in a similar situation and having a sort of "friends with benefits" - "girlfriend" - I even have a difficult time describing it. So can you have both? Can you be happy in your marriage and still be attracted to women? Is this what being truly bisexual really feels like? A tug of war where you find yourself one day looking at a man and thinking "wow.. he is hot." And then another looking at a woman and think "she is so beautiful or sexy." - although 90% of the time I end of having more sexual fantasies when I see a woman than a man. - Perhaps it's because I haven't been sexually with a woman in so long.. - sometimes I just feel a bit lost.
  17. When I first starting questioning, I was anxious all of time time. I felt like I had to figure everything out that very moment. Slowly but surely things are getting better, and the anxiety is starting to disappear. Now I just feel like chatting and finding someone I have a connection with. I'm kind of picky, so I don't know if that will ever happen. We'll see! Hubby and I are also reading "The Ethical Slut", and I think it's already going well. We had an amazing conversation after doing one of the exercises from the book.
  18. Interesting article. https://www.themarysue.com/the-bi-eye/?utm_content=buffer9e955&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
  19. http://www.allthetests.com/quiz30/quiz/1336960634/Are-You-Lesbian-Bisexual-Bi-Curious-or-Straight I got 46% Bisexual, 46% Lesbian and 8% straight Not surprised by the answer considering I rate myself between a 4 and a 5 on the Kinsey scale
  20. Coming out later in life to older parents? Those of you who have come out later in life did you decide to come out to your parents or not? Just curious. I am out to everyone except family and don't know if I'll ever tell them.
  21. bicurious

    I have been lurking around on r/r4r and similar subreddits, but I still haven't found anyone that I click with. Maybe I'm just too picky or expecting too much... I don't really know. I thought that Reddit was a good idea because you can remain anonymous, and it would give me the chance to figure things out a little more, but maybe it would be better to look for someone around my area. I have tried a few apps such as Tinder, Her and Moovz and have matched with a a couple of women that I wanted to get to know more, but they ghosted. I was told that there are clubs in my city too, but I'm not sure if that's my thing or not. I wouldn't even know what to wear! It has been years since I have gone out. Sometimes I think it would be easier, though. I am always afraid that if I click with someone online and we decide to meet up that they won't like me in person. Although, I have met a few people from Badoo in person, and it went pretty well, but I wasn't looking for anything more than friendship. Well, I think I just need to learn how to go with the flow and not worry so much. Maybe someone will pop up when I'm least expecting it.
  22. Last night I was out hanging out with some friends. I don't remember what the context was, but I said something to a friend of mine that was good news or something to that effect, and she said "ahh i could kiss you!" Then turned to her boyfriend and asked if she could kiss me. He said yes, and we had a little peck. That wasn't the bad one. She was pretty good at it. Another friend was nearby... she's the wife of the owner of a very popular shop in our somewhat small downtown community. She has no filter or concept of tact, and is always drunkenly trying to get me (and other women) to sleep with her. Like, once after telling her I didn't want to sleep with her, she point blank told me "you keep saying no, but I will have sex with you someday". I have absolutely zero interest, especially after this. Anyway, she saw the little kiss between me and my other friend and said "ooh! Can i have a kiss too?" So I hesitantly went in for a little peck. She grabbed my head and shoved her slobbery tongue halfway down my throat and wouldn't back off. I was very tensed up and trying to keep my mouth closed, and she stopped and told me to open my mouth more, and proceeded to shove her tongue deeper into my mouth until I couldn't handle it anymore and pulled myself away. It felt like a warm slug rolling around in my mouth. Why did i let her do that?? Don't get me wrong, i like a little tongue when given properly. Teasing little darts in and out of my mouth, gently grabbing my lips with teeth and lightly suckling on them... wonderful. That's how the majority of my kissing experience has been. But what happened last night... just too much. I'm not sure if it's because that girl actually kind of repulses me sexually, or if it was simply the sheer amount of her saliva that she was shoving into my mouth, but i did NOT enjoy it, and unless she forces herself onto me, it will not happen again (like she did when she surprised my neighbor by kissing her rather than hugging her, and after my neighbor pulled away with a disgusted look on her face saying she wasn't expecting that, and the girl laughed and said that's exactly what she was planning on doing). So two questions: Do other people enjoy having an entire, sopping wet tongue sloppily shoved into their mouths? Like, am I weird for hating that? She's like 35 and has been with many people, so it's not like she's unpracticed. Is that normal? And also, how would i go about addressing her borderline rapey, forceful behavior in general? I feel like I need to tell her it's not okay, neither with me nor anyone else who is clearly resisting her. I understand she's a woman so she thinks she gets a free pass on things that men could actually get in trouble for. But i don't think that's okay. It's made more than just me uncomfortable. And when I told my neighbor (another female who has also been on the receiving end of her aggression) and two dude friends about it, they all basically told me she kinda assulted me. And that it wasn't okay. Which i already felt, considering the repulsion i felt during/after her kissing me, but wasn't sure if it was that big of a deal. Anyway. Sorry. Weird stuff.
  23. I find it funny how some people tend to forget the meaning of bisexual. The prefix bi- means two. I also find it funny how people end up getting upset because one dares to comment on the opposite sex and admire their beauty. Did we not forget that such individuals exist? It's like, I am bisexual...it states in and of itself that I too find men attractive as well. I also hate how the media portrays bisexuals as promiscuous, confused, and selfish. Honestly, they are so far from the truth it's not even funny. Bisexuals are anything but confused. If anything, we are more sure of ourselves that most. Not to toot my own horn, but I know exactly what I like...and still discovering more. If I could tell you the reasons why I find Johnny Depp so unforgivably attractive, we'd be here for years. My dear goodness...I find him just...wow. Then, the great thing is that when I turn around, I notice the ever so beautiful Jennifer Aniston and I'm really crushing hard on her. I don't find that particularly odd at all. Even then, am I really bisexual? I don't even think I fall into that category. I end up having seasons... Sometimes, I tend to notice an overwhelming development in the female populations and I've dived into women. This is where I am now. I think what I'm going to stop doing is saying I'm bisexual and just say I'm simply, sexual. Thanks Margaret Cho! I love that lady. She's raw and she's awesome. I don't even think I have a category. It's more of who that individual is. Especially when it comes to gender. I don't have a rhyme or reason to who I am attracted except that I like contrast. I really love contrast. I'm an artist for goodness sake! Ah, seeing that I've traveled off into another tangent, I'm going to come back. Bisexual does not mean I have to choose any one gender. Why are people so caught up in something that isn't their business. If I like you, it's not what is in between your legs. It's what's in your brain. I'm an intellectual kink and proud of it. The brain is the sexiest organ to me. It's so complex and so amazing that we are still researching about it's magic! Thank goodness I majored in Psychology. I just can't get enough. But yeah, I'm sexual. I am an Air sign and I go where the wind flows and it's taken me to some wonderful places, by the way. Namaste, Bella
  24. Hi I am new here and new to the whole experience. I live in Tennessee looking to meet new lady friends in that area and all over the world is fine too. I am married. Sigh will explain more when I get to know you. I am excited and nervous about this new adventure.
  25. Hey guys! I just need some other opinions on my situation - So theres this girl. We work together and we're definitely friends but we don't hang out a ton outside of work or anything. We're about the same age but she's slightly older than me. Lately, I've been getting this "vibe" from her...and I'm definitely crushing on her, so I'm not sure if it's just me, but she's sending me signals. She has a boyfriend, but she has never said that she's not interested in girls or ruled it out. She's been teasing me a TON and recalling goofy things that I've said or done like months ago. She touches me a lot, like she'll purposefully put her arm on my arm when she's speaking to me or she'll accidentally touch my butt. She was telling a story about someone and she could've easily just said "so and so hugged me" but she was like they hugged me..and then proceeded to hug me for just a tad too long... then continued on with the story. It was just kinda odd, like she didn't have to do that. She also was playing with my hair kind of discreetly when I was talking to another coworker. She mentioned once that my hair was cute kinda in passing and that I had a nice butt, also in passing, but didn't dwell on it. She also (I think) likes spending time alone with me. I was in another room doing a project and she came back there to ask me a completely stupid question that she could've asked me an hour later when I was finished, and just ended up in there with me helping me finish the project. If we're working with another person, she'll ask them if they wanna leave to go get food or go home early, and then tell me that she wants it just to be us. Or once, it was 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave and she told two other workers they could go home but then looked at me and kinda smirked and said "except you, you're staying with me," when she could've easily stayed for 10 min alone. In a year, the employees from our work are taking a trip (for various business reasons) and I wasn't sure if I was gonna go, but she is going and she was telling that there will be two people to a bed and kind of causally said "aw, you should come then we can share a bed and cuddle and it'd be so fun!" and then she kept trying to convince me to come. Mostly cause she doesn't really know anyone else super well, but I'm not sure that's the whole reason. In general she just acts really flirty and I just get this really strange vibe from her! I don't know what to make of it....like it's possible she could just be doing this all in a friendly way but it's just the WAY she's doing it...and that vibe i'm getting. I know she isn't gay but do you think there's the SLIGHTEST chance that she's maybe bicurious or bisexual?? Is it true that when two people are into each other or attracted that there's a vibe or tension that's there? Do you think I'm just sensing this vibe because I have a crush on her? It honestly never used to be this way, like when we first met for the first few years it was pretty normal. I've always thought she was very stunning and cute, but not until recently did I start sensing this vibe from her. Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated! THANKS oh and we're both in our early 20s.