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Found 35 results

  1. Hi guys! Advice really needed... So, to try to sum it up - this girl and I have been "together" for about six months. I put air quotes around together because we had reservations and we, by no means, were in a full blown relationship. It was my first same sex relationship and I was honestly very scared sometimes. And she knew this, and was supportive. We texted every single day for 6 months, no breaks or anything. At first, it felt really good and we were like so into each other. Then slowly, things just started to fade. I honestly think it was because we just didn't progress at all, and we needed to take the next step. We would start fighting and bickering more often, over really petty things. Everything she said started to get on my nerves and I would feel as if i was just bored of talking to her. There were several times where we had really big fights and she asked me for space and I said no, because I was afraid of losing her. In retrospect, I should've said yes. We never had sex, or even really kissed. When we would hang out we would sometimes get cuddly but nothing would ever happen. We never really progressed over the 6 months we talked because I was so in my head and not willing to accept my sexuality yet. I pushed her away all the time because of it. I'm only out as bisexual to a few of my friends and sort of my dad. I'm almost 21 years old and I still live with my parents. Same with her. But deep down, we just got each other emotionally and mentally and we had this amazing connection that was being overshadowed by a bunch of stuff that didn't matter. A few days ago, we got into a huge fight over something really stupid. It ended in us ending things, for real. She told me that we didn't have enough in common and it was just getting to be too hard to think of new things to talk about, which I agree with her. But we shouldn't be ending things because of that. If we had spent more time together in person and actually tried to go on dates and make memories together, we wouldn't be running out of things to talk about. But we still really care for each other and are still very much attracted to each other nonetheless. I told her I needed space and that we would re-assess where we were in a few days. We left things on good terms and we were both nice about it. I cant help but think that we just didn't give it a real try. Like, I feel like I'm willing to give it another shot, a fresh start. During this time that I've been not talking to her, I've realized how much I miss her and that I genuinely don't want to give up on us before I give it all I have. I think we just needed space from each other to get some clarity. I have no idea if she will agree with me or if I'm just very sad right now and trying to convince myself we should give it another shot. I just need some advice - do you guys think I should see if she wants to give it another shot? Or maybe try to be friends first for awhile and see where it goes? I'm not sure what to do, I was planning on giving it about another week before I talked to her again anyway. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you very much!
  2. Alright y’all. I’m 23, & I just got out of a serious, long term relationship with a man (I was sure he was the one but it didn’t work out). I’ve identified as bi since I was a young teenager, so that’s nothing new, but I have such little experience with women sexually (I’ve had sex with women, but only in a group sex setting where men were involved). I want to use this time, now that I’m single for the first time in quite awhile, to really delve into my queer identity, and broaden my horizons sexually. I have a few prospective hook ups, but I don’t want to come off as completely clueless when things start goin. Help me out??
  3. So, I had a conversation with a new friend today and I don't know what to say to help her. Her self image is so low that she doesn't even want to be touched tho lately she allow me. I can't start making compliments to her to make her feel good because she'll think other things and I don't want that.She opened up to me today more than normally and I can see she is desperate and on the verge to break. I tried to advise her about depression once and since then I can see her approaching me. I told her few things today but I don't know how to make her focus on the good parts. She is stuck in her past and can't get over it and I really want to help her.I don't know how to advise her to make her see that she shouldn't focus on her regrets and although it's not my job but her husbands, I'd like to make her change the way she sees herself. Any advice would be appreciated.
  4. I came out of a 4 year relationship in May it was a mutual calling time on the relationship after retrying from a breakup in December. It was my first serious relationship, I am only 22 and lived with her since I was 19. It was a very intense relationship as she didn't have much contact with her own family and virtually became part of mine. I was her bestfriend, girlfriend, mother and father all in one it felt sometimes. We were both pretty broken people who started out as friends and really helped each other and fell in love but eventually that faded. She often got violent when drunk and then it started happening when we were sober too. It became toxic and unhealthy and became very clear we needed to break up but both felt trapped in the house The breakup was painful and elongated, she was a bi-curious girl who cheated on me with guys at the end and was seeing a guy when we still lived together. When she moved out we missed each other we tried again when we lived apart and shortly after we broke up got in to a relationship with a guy. I became quite depressed living in a big house to myself we had planned to start a family in and started to get in to debt from the bills and got a housemate and me and my ex drifted a lot We tried to remain friends but fast forward until now we have each other blocked on everything and don't speak and she's moving in with her new boyfriend. It scares me that she can move on so fast. I feel that it either invalidates our whole relationship for me, because she wasn't in love with me for her to be able to move on and seriously commit to someone so soon. I've tried dating other people but I just can't seem to let them in. I feel like I'm constantly comparing myself to her because she is so happy in her new relationship and I think that makes it harder. I tried seeing a new girl but I had to end things because I thought it was unfair when I still feel so sad for the breakup with my ex. I feel pressured by everyone around me to move on but will find it so hard to trust someone again. I feel really self destrucive like every relationship I'm going to implode before anyone has the chance to hurt me again. Has anyone been through anything similiar? Is it normal to be bothered that your ex has moved on so soon even if you don't feel that you're in love with them anymore? Is it stupid to still want answers about cheating etc. after a breakup? Is it normal to be bitter and offended by your bi ex now identifying as straight and saying they aren't attracted to girls and this new guy is perfect? I feel like an experiment I still have so many questions and I feel like it hurts because we were planning a family when I finish my degree and we were going to move back in together. Even though I KNOW the relationship it was unhealthy. Why do I sill care? LL
  5. Okay, so I have a big crush on this girl who works at the gym I go to, she's one of the personal trainers there. I think she may like me, but I'm not sure, at the moment I'm 50/50, so I need ideas on how I can show I'm interested without making a fool of myself, because for all I know she could be completely straight and have a boyfriend. We have never properly spoken, only said a few words when I handed a phone in that I found and when she almost bumped into me by the doors. I was on the leg press the other week and noticed in the corner of my eye that she kept looking over at me, so I looked at her and our eyes met for a brief moment. Then she walked past and stared right at me and smiled, so I smiled back. Then I saw her again today, she'd been doing a class and looked really cute and sweaty in this football shirt. I walked past and she was talking to someone and smiled at me. Now I don't know if she's just being friendly or if she likes me, I've noticed her looking at me since I joined, but I assumed she was just checking my technique or people watching because she's bored. But since she's started smiling at me it's got me thinking maybe she does? What do you guys think I could do to show I'm interested or to see if she's interested? I'm quite shy so just going up and asking her out is out of the question. I was thinking I could ask her if she could show me some exercises for my legs and bum on the mats (I do actually want to add something new to my routine) and flirt a bit then, what do you think? I've never flirted with a girl before, I don't know how to make it clear without being too full on, that I'm flirting and not just being friendly. Any help or advice is appreciated!
  6. Hi everyone So the other day I was telling someone that girls always think I am at least 10 years younger than I am due to my face and the fact I am always getting id'd (I'm over 30!). She said but it's a good thing and you look so cute! I told her that it has affected me going on dates and again she said the whole cute thing. At this point I started to think about the fact girls do not hit on me or if I flirt with one they don't seem to get that I am. Does anyone else have a cute problem? I really don't want to be viewed this way but have no idea how to get out of it. Even when I am assertive or more dominant I am still told I am cute...sigh! i feel like I need to change something about myself to break away from this but I have no idea what. I feel I always end up being the friend of a girl I like while she tells me about the 'hot' girl she likes. I guess I just need some advice.
  7. Hey Ya'll Ok, so I've been struggling with accepting this. I imagine that what I have to say isn't unique but I definitely need some help. I'm from SF, I'm active in church, 22, musician....and I'm bi, there I said it. No surprises here considering I'm on shybi. I just wanted to get suggestions, advice, tips, a little tlc because I'm new to all of this. I sort of separated my questions so you can respond to what you wish. Acceptance/Coming out So far I've only come out to 3 of my friends whom all identify as either straight or questioning asexuals. All 3 of them were so cool about it and don't treat me any differently, it's so refreshing. I'd like to come out to my family but as much as I know they love me, I know even my attraction with no action would be wrong to them. They'd see me as a completely different person and I don't know if I can handle that. Advice for Christian bi's growing up in Christian families? I have a group of friends who are a mixed bunch in race, sexuality, gender and I know they wouldn't care much. I'm afraid that my reputation as a Christian would now somehow be tainted by the fact that I'm attracted to more than just men. The thought terrifies me of overwhelming rejection, I've seen every gay, or lesbian family member be in one way or another ostracized or made fun of. I literally just want to be the same me and date whomever I'm attracted to. Why the heck is that so wrong? Dating: Ok, now for the good stuff lol. I've never dated, I'm a virgin, never even had my first kiss. I'm talking to a really awesome person on okcupid and have been getting a lot of mutual likes from other women as well. More for what I can say in real life (or I'm just oblivious?) I really want to ask this girl out but one, I'm terrified. So, help? My fears and concerns are this; What if I'm outed by someone that I know while on a date, is it fair to the other person to date them when you're not completely out, what if there's no physical attraction upon meeting each other (ahhh), what if she's turned off by my inexperience, what are some good first date ideas, what are some good rules of thumb for dating women, how do you know if a girl is into you? First kiss tips? These are all questions that I'd ask my siblings, since they don't know about this shybi part of me, well I guess ya'll are my tentative shybi siblings. So please teach me your ways lol. That's all for now, lol send help, Baby bi signing out -UnicornKween
  8. Hey guys, so I'm apologizing now for how long this is going to be, but I need to get it off my chest... So I've been married to my husband for 3 years now and together for 4 years. I'm 23 and he's 29 and I'm raising his stepchild as my own (I adopted her because her mom chose not to be in her life) and I love her to pieces and love being her mom. My husband has always been my best friend, but he's been different the last few months. It's hard to explain it, but he has gotten super controlling- like to the point where he's always questioning what I'm doing, why it's taking me so long, why I want to do things with friends, who is going to be there and exactly where we'll be going and when, etc. He's been getting crappy with me over stupid things, and accuses me of having an attitude with him when I don't have one at all. It is always random when his moods change and he gets shitty with me, but he's so up and down that it's exhausting. He has no idea that I'm into women and honestly if I ever told him I don't know if he'd even stay with me. A couple weeks ago I was hanging out with a mutual friend in our yard just talking (friend happens to be another guy, but we hang out all the time and we were out in the open in broad daylight and out kids were playing in the yard too so it wasn't like intimate by any means.) and having a beer and he texts me from inside to come in. I replied and said i'd be in in just a few minutes because I was visiting. He then got crappy and when I went in to grab another beer from the fridge, started yelling at me like he was accusing me of messing around. (It absolutely crossed my mind because this friend of ours was super good looking and had a thing for me, but I made it clear that I wasn't that type of person and that we could only be friends.) and yelling that I just want the single life and I don't want to be married anymore, demanding to know why I wanted to hang out with this guy, etc. He went so far as to back me into a corner and yell at me demanding "the truth" and he was in my face so much that I could feel his spit hitting my face. (note: I NEVER question the people he hangs out with or why he's going where he's going because he's never given me a reason to doubt him and I haven't given him reason to doubt me either.) I am very passive-aggressive and I walked back outside to cool off for awhile after that and he hasn't done it since. I don't plan on leaving because my step-daughter needs me and I've promised her that I'll always be around. To top it all off, he'll go 5-7 months without giving up sex or anything. I've tried lingerie, offering a threesome with another woman (I obviously wouldn't mind that lol), giving him a free pass to be with someone else, offering to give him a BJ (which he used to beg for) and asking for nothing in return even though he hasn't gone down on me in over a YEAR, I've tried ignoring him, being flirty, begging, role playing, talking dirty, being discreetly provocative by like brushing up against him and stuff.....nothing works. Nothing. We just had sex for the first time in 6 months, it lasted 5-10 min and he didn't even try to get off. During those 6 months, he'd wake me up in the middle of the night and attempt sex, then stop because "his back hurt", "his legs hurt", "he was too tired", and once, he let me get on top because his back hurt and right when I started to find my rhythm and stuff, he goes "are you almost done?" and I was like "Well, no..." and he goes "Well could you hurry up because my back hurts...you can go ahead and finish though..." and I rolled off of him and had to fight back tears because I have to ask him to like touch my boobs or grab me or do anything with his hands anymore. It's like he's there physically but somewhere else in his head. My emotions are all over the place because I love him so much, but he's all over the place and I feel like he's putting my sexual needs on the back burner to literally everything else and I hate that but I also feel like I'm being really selfish here. He gets SOO crappy anytime I even try to talk about sex or my needs or anything and he gets SO annoyed and says "I need to stop putting so much emphasis on sex/pressuring him and grow up"... I just don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life....I need advice.
  9. Honestly, I have always been attracted to women as much as men. Though I haven't really dated much and when I did it was only men. The women I found myself to be attracted to were either straight, already taken, or just saw me as a sisterly type. Honestly, I can't even tell if another female would even be interested in me, Most likely I would need them to spell it out for me. I'm too shy to even say anything otherwise. Any helpful advice would be appreciated.
  10. I just recently entered in a non-monogamous relationship and need some advice. Let me give you some background information. I have been married to my husband for 15 years, together for 17 years total. We got married in 2002. He knew I was Bisexual/ Gay before we were married. It wasn’t until 2008 that I finally realized that I was Bisexual/ Gay and came out to my husband. He was very accepting of my orientation. We have a very open relationship. He knew I would eventually find a woman I connected to and who I would share my first f/f experience with. It wasn't until October 2016 that I met and started talking to a woman I met here on Shybi. We talked for several months before we had a face to face meet up. We met for the first time in January 2017. For both of us it was an instant connection. We have been dating ever since. Since she is married and has a family. Due to marriage commitments we only get to see each other one day month and she has to be back home my a certain time. Our husbands has given us permission to see each other. This is hard for both of us, because we have fallen in love with each other. For me it was love at first sight. I'm head over heals crazy about her. The love I have for her is like nothing I have never felt like this before not even with my husband, and she feels the same way. She loves me very much. I don’t know if it’s just, because young love that I feel this way, but it feels right and natural when my girlfriend and I are together. To me she is perfect. This Sat is the 4th time we get to spend the whole day together. I can see me and her having a real future together. I love my husband very much and still see us together in the future, but she is all I think about. I even have separation anxiety when we're apart and I talk to her as often as I can. The advice I need is how to balance a long distance relationship and my marriage.
  11. Hi, So I've never done this before (joined a forum - never mind that it's a bisexual one!) I'm 24 yo and have have never told anyone that I think I may be bi. I guess I've not even told myself because I keep making the excuse that I'm not sure if I am. My brain concentrates on the fact that there's doubt in my mind, added to the fact that I am attracted to men and the fact that I've never even kissed a girl so can't be sure if I'd actually like it - all of which combines to me always deciding to suppress it. I've been raised Catholic and so always have it in my mind that I don't want to disappoint my parents - even though my older sister came out years ago, and they're fine with it. I know it sounds silly but I feel like the fact that she's out means that I can't - like they can handle one of their daughters being bi, but not both. And, they always had they're suspicions with my sister but they say it was obvious I was always straight. I've always thought that I could always keep a lid on it, but recently when I get drunk I always end up flirting with girls as well as boys and wake up the next day with this horrible dread and guilt. Can anyone relate? How did you get out of this? How can I be sure if these feelings for girls is actually real? I don't want to tell anyone I like girls cos what if I said that then actually tried being with a girl then found out that I don't like them after all?? I joined this because I don't really have any people around me who are similar in this way - they're all straight girls with steady boyfriends. Could really do with some advice! Sorry for the essay!
  12. So, I've been thinking a lot about this. Back story - it has been 3 months since the most outrageous short term relationship with a best female friend ended bc her husband found us out. We are both married to men and have children. We managed to navigate through some really hard/scary times in the aftermath of the "affair" and have remained incredibly close sans the physical/sexual stuff. We have both had lots of ups and downs dealing with it all. However, desire never went away. So as I think about the whirlwind, what it was like to try and get over my 1st girl crush/1st female lover, the fact that we still see each other in our day to day lives and socialize often, if I had another chance to kiss her again, would I? should I? Knowing how long it as taken me to get past our relationship and what we experienced together and the fact that it has been a lot of personal work to try and reduce the frequency in which i think about her in a romantic sense...and knowing how cool it would be to do it again... Thoughts?
  13. I started talking to a girl from my work place and shes friends with a few people who know my ex girlfriend out of work. I have always thought shes super hot and spoke to her once at work and then when she was on holiday I got drunk and messaged her and she replied and we had a good chat and a bit of a flirt. She maintained she was straight. Me and my ex had only recently split up and she found out and kicked off. Over the next few days we messaged non stop from morning until night. We talked about hanging out. Then randomly I got a message the next day from her saying we shouldn't speak anymore explaining that shes 110% straight, and that she doesn't think it's appropriate to spend time just us two or go for food but okay if we're with other people. She didn't want to cause any drama for anybody with my ex being involved. The next time we were in work it was just us two for about 4 hours so we had a proper laugh and then we just kinda continued to message after and we talked a lot about sexuality and sex and flirted a lot. It's so confusing. We arranged to spend time together that I'd make us some food and she'd come stay at mine and watch a film. She said she wishes she was gay but she likes men only and apologised for it. She also said that she likes me, and when I asked her to explain what she meant she said that I'm lovely and hilarious and kind and sweet and that I have everything but she is not gay and cannot have sex with me. I'm really starting to fall for her and I don't know whether to take the subtle signs as she may still be interested and carry on pursuing this or should I be taking what she says and backing off. I'm really confused as she's done stuff before with girls and the signs are so mixed and back and forth. I don't speak to any of my other strictly platonic friends from the moment I wake up until the moment I got to sleep.
  14. For as long as I can remember I have been turned on by both women and men. I have had 2 brief encounters with ladies and really enjoyed it. I have have a live in long term male partner of 19 years and 5 kids ages 9-27... This is an itch I need to & want to scratch. Being a new member I would appreciate advice on how to flirt and recognise come on signals from another woman please??? Thanks in advance x
  15. This is what my daughter just told me, We were taking about what we want for the new year.
  16. It's her birthday next week, on Valentines Day. We've been friends for 15 years but have been getting closer the last few months and I can't stop thinking about her lately. What can I give her for a birthday present that will show her she means a lot to me as a friend, but with a very slight hint that there could be more to it? She is creative, artistic, a beautiful singer, very spiritual, a great teacher, and a wonderful friend. I'm a bit stuck on what to give her. Let's not over think this one, just the first thing that pops into your head, but nothing too sexy. I'm not trying to give my feelings away here, just a subtle hint that could go either way. Thanks shy bis!
  17. I'm hoping for some advice from all you experienced (and not so experienced!) Ladies... A few evenings ago something happened between me and a woman I have never met before. I was quite drunk and started chatting with her while she was working. I was attracted to her so asked her if she was single, thrn asked her for her number (I have never ever ever done this before, I have no idea what came over me). She gave me her number and off I went with a smile on my face. A little while later I saw her again and asked her to come outside with me. She took me into a staff area, and I kissed her. It was really good, and really unexpected. She then went back to work and I went home. Now I'm unsure what to do next. I keep thinking about how good it was, but I don't know if I should leave it there, or if I should text her. I feel like I may have deceived her in a way, as I didn't mention I'm married....and now I'm not really sure how to mention it. We exchanged a few messages later on the same night, but she hasn't text me and I don't know if that's cause she's not interested, or maybe she wants me to text her seeing as I was drunk and she was sober?! Help me please!
  18. I am 3 months into a very intense FWB relationship with a woman (& I am married to a man). Much of the background is in the Married/Commited forum titled What's Going On & Whats going on Update (if interested). I am overwhelmed with how I have been feeling lately (like a love sick puppy..) and desperately trying to shake it. Despite a full time job and having 2 little kids, she is constantly on my mind. Every spare moment of downtime is consumed. I have been doing my best to keep it all in my head (even though my Husband knows) bc I don't want my husband to feel jealous or concerned he is losing me, he isn't. I just suddenly feel so fulfilled both emotionally and physically by her and it is weighing heavily bc she gets me like no other & I have allowed myself to be vulnerable in every sense of the word. Anyone ever experience this? is it possible to shake it? any advice on how to refocus without distancing myself from her? Is this just New Relationship Energy that I need to recognize and let time help me work it out?
  19. Hi friends, I love this place btw. Helps me vent and get an outside perspective. I have a friend that I haven't seen in years but we kept in touch. I moved back to LA before she did . I knew she had a gf but never pursued her. She moved to LA months later with her gf. I use dating apps here and there to see what's out there. One night I was using HER and my friends gf popped up. I thought they had split or what not but it turns out they were not split . In my head why is her gf on this app if they are still together. I never told my friend . Not the type to do that. A few months later my friend and I went out to an art show. Her gf wasn't able to make it because she was sick. And she was telling me how it's hard to do anything because her gf is always sick. Blah blah blah. All I could think about was , well maybe when you're out she's at home chatting with other girls on dating apps . *smirk A few weeks later she asked me if we can have dinner together. I ended up inviting her out to my friends birthday. I was hammered most of the time but remember her making remarks like she wanted to sit in my lap and kept touching my face. And in the backseat on the way home of my cousins car she snuggles with me. The next morning she told me her gf was mad that she came home late. And asked me if anyone has randomly added me as a friend on Instagram . And i said yes. Turns out her gf has been stalking / spying on me. I ended up getting upset and told her gf to call me if she wants to grow the f*** up & not be a lil b**** and use fake accts to follow me. My friend got scared of course and hasn't talked to me since. She's scared cause I might let her gf that we were flirting all night??? But she don't know that I'll tell her gf I know she's up on dating apps . I am so split right now. I'm stuck between telling my friend how I feel and what I know ---- but I don't want to get in someone's relationship. I know for a fact my friend is hella bored and not happy.
  20. It should be the end, there's nowhere to go, I've been defeated.....but yet I can't accept it. After having the dreadful talk with my husband I now know where he stands, unfortunately, it's nowhere near where I'm standing. He's made it clear that his happiness takes precedence over mine. He can't be happy with me exploring my bisexual side and I can't be happy without it I feel like I am already sacrificing so much of what I want to make this right. If I'm honest with myself I know deep down what I really want is a full on serious relationship with a woman. The truth is if he and the kids weren't in the picture, at this stage in my life, I believe I would probably be with a woman, only a woman. I'm happy and grateful to have my husband and children, and their happiness is important to me. I realize that I can't have that kind of relationship with a woman, not in my current situation, and I accept that. I'm willing to compromise and sacrifice most of what I desire....for them. I don't question that, it's not debatable, it's my commitment by choice. I can still find happiness and contentment with a lot less, that something less is negotiable, or at least on my behalf. My husband however is in a different place, he doesn't want to make his own sacrifices and compromise to try and find a balance, even though I've made it clear that I won't be truly happy without it. A little would go a long way, but I get nothing? I can see three options, the first being to accept defeat, throw in the towel, agree to grant his ever wish. Which will mean to drop this entirely, suppress my feelings and desires, in hopes that I can somehow live without them. We all know how that will end......resentment, I'll resent him for taking this away from me, I'll resent him for not considering my feelings, I'll resent myself for not standing up and being my true self. This option, while it might seem to work in his favour right now, will eventually tear us both apart. That resentment will take a toll on our marriage causing it to fail. My send option...cool it for now and and give it more time. Concentrate on making our relationship stronger and building his confidence. Give him the reassurance that I do love him and will choose him above myself. Pretend that I'm ok with his demands....and wait...and hope that eventually he can come to understand this better, understand why this is sonimportant to me. But I do it blindly, not knowing what the outcome will be. I know my husband, he's hard headed, stubborn, sticks to his guns. It's hard to take baby steps with him because I don't know where to begin. Right now he's not even comfortable talking about my bisexuality, there is no "soft spot" , no clear path to take. I realize that we have tons of work to do within our relationship, but do I remain hopeful only to risk disappointment and rejection over and over in the event that he will in fact NEVER be any more open minded than he is right now? Lastly, as was suggested in a post on my last entry, maybe he's bluffing, maybe he's exercising control he does not have. Perhaps he's given me this ultimatum because he knows me well enough that he's confident that I will do as he pleases, choose him, give in, as I always do. I've always been the submissive one in the relationship, given him control, never stood up for what I wanted. He knows this, he knows I'll submit to what we wants. What would happen if I called his bluff, take the upper hand, and stand firm to my beliefs? Not sure I have it in me, but I'm entertaining the possibility. I've committed so much of my life to pleasing everyone around me, partly out of fear of abandonment, partly because I enjoy seeing others happy. Is this my time to take control and stand my ground, hand out my own ultimatum? This is risky, I could lose everything if it goes badly, or on the flip side I could gain a great deal, starting with my own self respect. I honestly don't know where I'm supposed to go from here, there is no easy or right answer to this problem. I'm open to any advice or opinions from you ladies, I thank you all again for the overwhelming support you all have shown me over these last few weeks, it truly is appreciated
  21. I've been on Shy's for about two months now, I've gotten some much needed support and understanding, but also some great advice from some very insightful ladies. I've even gained a few friendships, all which I appreciate more than you know. Throughout all of this I've been able to get a fresh perspective, a positive turning point in my life. Over the last number of years I've been feeling depressed, not understanding why, I needed to somehow validate why I was feeling so down, there must be something wrong with me. I've pegged myself with just about every mental illness in the book but nothing seemed to fit perfectly. A couple of days ago I had a session with a psychiatrist who suggested that rather than having a medical condition, perhaps I've been experiencing several contributing factors leading to depressive symptoms. Some of these factors are beyond my control, however some of these negatives can definitely be turned into positives. I'm the only one who can do that. I can't change the way my husband feels about me exploring my sexuality, but maybe I can take steps to strengthen our bond and improve our relationship. I can't change the shame and guilt I feel from past experiences, but maybe counselling can help me work through those issues and give me a brighter outlook on the future. I have chronic back pain due to an injury that is out of my control, however I am out of shape, and by taking steps to get fit and healthy I have confidence that I can feel better physically, mentally and emotionally. I have poor self confidence and insecurities, mainly about my body image, this can be improved with hard work and determination. I recently received some valuable advice from a woman here who's younger than me but wise beyond her years. She pointed out that I was weighing much of my happiness on the ability to explore my bisexual side, she was right, I've been putting all of my eggs in the one basket. Bisexuality is just a part of who am, it doesn't define me, it's not my sole purpose in life. I've been happy in the past, before ever acknowledging this part of me and I needed to stop and think what else makes me happy, what other aspects of my life can I improve to feel better. My craving for a woman is surely about more than my sexuality, I realize what lies underneath this really has more to do with my dissatisfaction with my current relationship. I've been putting too much emphasis on the negative in my life, but honestly I have it pretty good, I have a wonderful husband who loves me sometimes more than I deserve and is an excellent father to our two beautiful, healthy children. He works hard to provide for us and goes above and beyond so that I am able to stay at home with the kids. I have two wonderful parents who are there for me and my family in every way possible. I have been fortunate to live a life filled with love while also enjoying some of the material things that some can not or have no such interest. I have many positives in my life but have chosen to focus on the negative. She said to me "the more we focus on the negative, the more negative comes. The more we focus on the positives in our lives, the more positive we get". The truth is, my empty feeling is about more than my yearning for a woman, and it's time I take some of my eggs and place then elsewhere. I'm not giving up all hope of ever exploring my bisexual side, and it certainly doesn't change the way I feel about my sexuality, but I need to first focus on ME and what I can do to like myself again. For me, right now, that's to improve my relationship with my husband and improve my self image be getting fit and healthy. Because in actual fact neither is in a state right now that could withstand sexual exploration. She quoted the lyric from the Rolling Stones, that really rings true in this case "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need". I told you she was wise, what's wiser than The Rolling Stones lol So that's where I am, today anyway, but with my ever changing moods, there's no guarantee that I'll stay that way for long lol. The minute I find myself having another "gay day" I'm sure it will all fall to shit, I might have to keep myself out of the forums to avoid the insane jealousy I feel for you ladies that have got it all together lol. Seriously, hats off to all you ladies who have achieved the balance and contentment that I haven't even begun to figure out. Cheers to the beginning of my brand new journey of self discovery...... starting with step 1...get active and eat healthier
  22. Ok me and this girl have been following each other's blogs for a while, about a month ago I was tagged by her to do a selfie challenge. I posted my picture and she responded that she thought I was pretty. She posted hers, I'm straight but have always been curious, when I saw her pic immediately found her physically attractive, I reptiles that I thought she was pretty also. We started pm. We were talking one night and I jokingly said if I was going to ever crush on a girl it would be you, she replied me too. She is bi and has experimented with a few girls. We were talking again one night and I asked her a few things about her experience with girls. She replied the next day saying do you want your answer to your question to be more generalized or specific to you. I didn't understand . She said I can tell you what I like to do with women or I can tell you what I want to do with you. So she told me what she would do with me given the chance. I was fine with it, intrigued . We talk some more she mentions how she likes that I look so sweet and innocent , type , but that I'm also smart etc. we talked about being curious about each other and stuff we have in common movies , etc etc. she is a very upfront , brutally honest person , I'm more quite, nice reserved. We continue to talk when we can through pm, she lives kinda far away. 2 hr by plane, 12 hr drive. She mentions one day how it's too bad she lives far away because she would love to give me a great first time with a girl , we agreed that there is for sure a mutual attraction physical and mental, and curiosity. I would be open to that with her. I said well let's keep talking getting to know each other and if we still feel there is something there, maybe I can visit when my vacation comes around , she said she would like that . We talk some more she says she never been attracted to a girl on so many different levels before me, usually it's just physical. That she is attracted to men more physically and women mentally , but with me it's all of it. This is where it gets tricky, she said she wanted to get to know me better, so I took it as to continue pm . Maybe once a week is pm ask in general stuff, about work etc. she rarely replies back, when she does it week or more later. I do know she has a demanding job, I thought ok she just real busy , then I noticed that on her blog she answers ask from her inbox with mile long answers the same time I just pm with a very short hi, etc. then when she finally replies to me she's like I wasn't ignoring you I was busy etc. this happens a lot lately with the long blog answers but ignoring me . I finally just laid it out to her , I said I think I need to step back for a bit , with pm and stuff, I'm trying to make an effort to get to know you because I'm interested , you say you are but yet you barely acknowledge my messages which are not many , you never pm me first or ask anything about me, tho she claims she wants to get to know me more ? . She replied that she has a lot going on right now and while she is very interested in me she needs me to not get offended it has nothing to do with me, and no it's not a hookup thing with her, she wants us to meet a some point meet etc , I messed up by contastly questing her motives about why she's never contacts me first etc even though she's told me many times why, then i accused her of wanting one thing , finally she gets mad which I don't blame her and pm me saying how apparently I'm not listening to anything she said about liking me etc, and it insults her that continue to think she wants just a hookup , that if I can't believe her , she has no interest in people that play games, she is very blunt person person and Dom . I said I didn't know it seemed like I was playing games , I'm sorry for that , then I screw up again in a pm making a comment about how if I heard from her I'd be schooled, won't hold by breath , she replied back saying after the many times she told me what was going on and why she can't talk right now , I go and make a bitchy comment like that , then no she is not interested and apparently we don't get along , I replied that I honestly didn't think it would come off that way, I hate talking over text , I apologize , said for now I'm going to back off and give you your space to do what your busy with , I hope at some point we could start over and I communicate better, she replied few hours later saying that she wasn't ignoring me , and that she didn't say forget about it, just out right now , I don't know if she meant not right now, I backing off for a few weeks let things cool down, may contact her after that start slow , any advice on what she meant by I'm not ignoring you, I didn't say forget it
  23. I am happily married to my college love, we are 38 and have two children and have a great life. I have kissed a few girls (& liked it) but they were more staged/alcohol fueled circumstances vs. emotionally charged 10+ years ago . I have been monogamous with my husband for 19 years. Lately I find myself fantasizing about one of my friends (mom friends through our children). It is all consuming. We spend a lot of time together and we are very close. We do a lot of fun stuff together with music & concerts being one of them. A week ago when we were next to each other at a show I had an overwhelming feeling of electricity that has me in a complete tizzy. I cannot stop thinking about her. I know she loves me as a friend and dosen't suspect anything more but I do know that we have a strong connection/vibe when together. She knows that I have kissed a woman before, she has not and mentioned she wanted to hear more about that (I think only for curiosity..but she never asked me and I won't offer up the details unless asked). I would love to just kiss her & see what these feelings are about , wouldn't be ready or open for anything more. Is this Pandora's box? What is going on? Anyone been here before?
  24. ? inquiring mind would like to know ? thanxx