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  • Tesserae
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  • Mr Bloggy
  • To Live the Bi Life, or Not Live the Bi Life...that is the question!
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  • The goddess within
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  • My Life
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  • Kycouple911(Teri)
  • Just a Thought...
  • learning to be me
  • GEEKME: the blog
  • Just another day in the life of a girl....
  • My Musical Life in NYC
  • Deep Thoughts (or not so deep)
  • champers' Blog
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  • The Wonderful World of MoonFaeV
  • LIpinkberry's Blog
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  • D's Blog
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  • Since Beginningless Time
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  • Night time reflections
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  • turning.orchid's Blog
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  • One of those days
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  • Cat's Blog
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  • The Dogs Guts
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  • manys blog
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  • hellovegan's BLOGGiE
  • Wishing for the unknown and out-of-reach
  • Kiya's Thoughts
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  • femme frankly
  • Mens' Secret Thoughts
  • Brighteyes's Blog
  • soupdragon's Blog
  • Pink Dr. M's' Blog
  • Mystical Dreams...
  • A Quick Glance
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  • Butterfly's Blog
  • Peas' Place
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  • The Other Side of Me
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  • Sunny Days and Cloudy Skies
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  • Misstree's Mysteries
  • ::Under A Traitor's Moon::
  • Ch-Ch-Cheshi
  • trsh's Blog
  • Being Trinity
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  • greenleafgirl's Blog
  • into the mind of a cereal addict
  • couriouslyshy's Blog
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  • I've nowhere to release this
  • Eclectic...
  • flirtykitten's scratching post
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  • RAWK on!
  • esore's Blog
  • My sweet insanity
  • The thoughts and ponderings of an Angel
  • Halo In Reverse- fuchsiadeviant's Blog
  • lake1's Blog
  • Marlene's Blog
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  • WelshRose's Blog
  • My Thoughts: Samantha's account of life
  • N.F.'s Blog
  • "Indian-giving bitch"
  • purrescious, my precious
  • playbunny's mind dumping spot
  • Haru's Ramblings
  • 1otus' Blog
  • The Fool Poetess
  • curious_kitten's Blog
  • No, I'M Spartacus!
  • softy's Blog
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  • Starrshine in the Sky
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  • Bandida's Blog
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  • Fancy Feets
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  • Free's world
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  • Shelli's Blog
  • Restless Thoughts
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  • Butterfly Ramblings
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  • Mommy Munch's Blog
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  • takagi's blog
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  • dixie's Blog
  • jardylian's Blog
  • streams of (sub)consciousness
  • .
  • The Whine Shack
  • havingfun's blog
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  • Kasumi no longer keeps a blog
  • Chiyuki's Blog
  • cakegrl's Blog
  • My Random Thoughts and Dreams
  • I'm not AD...
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  • Grandy's Blog
  • imemi's internal dealings..
  • mel's blog, my first....
  • This Is Me
  • unsuregurl's blog
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  • My Terrible Typings
  • Shya's Blog
  • The random musings of a BHB
  • Quirky's Blog
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  • ruber's Spot
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  • my blarg
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  • My life
  • Shygurl85's Blog
  • merci's blog on random topics
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  • testing, testing
  • DazedNConfused's Blog
  • Scarlett Says
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  • The Chloe Chronicles
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  • dear dizzle...
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  • Gryphon's Blog
  • Misty's Musings
  • Shizzling Squirtles Batman!
  • A new discovery
  • Kirsten and Kristen's Blog
  • Paige's Blog
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  • Amarena's Nonsense
  • Window to Tog
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  • Pillow Talk
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  • Spiral Staircase of my Mind
  • Pulling The Trigger
  • You Know You Love It
  • BDD
  • Star Dust *..*..*..
  • nonblonde's Blog
  • An Optimistic Pessimist
  • Thoughts of a mad woman
  • DoveChild's Corner Blog
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  • *Chaotic Ramblings...*
  • My Mumbling Mind
  • Twilight's Blog
  • heartsnotparts
  • Sunshine In My Coffee
  • writing musings and funny thoughts on life
  • Rubys Rollercoaster Life
  • My thoughs
  • heaven sent's Blog
  • Didn't want to start a new post
  • One Day at a Time
  • Bi the Way
  • Goddess23's Blog of life my happy times and all the rest in between
  • DarkEyes' Blog
  • Not So Shy's Blog
  • Moonlight0212's personal scrolls
  • Lovely's Mind
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  • Dj Devil's Blog
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  • Just the three of us.
  • Bix's Blog
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  • All Right Story Complete
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  • Sugar's Musings
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  • Painting By Numbers
  • Pixie's Blog
  • Michelle_xoxo's Blog
  • Ramblings....
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  • Ashley's Blog
  • My Crazy Lil World
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  • Stories of 5tar
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  • oh the thinks you can think...
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  • lost&confused83's blog
  • Tangents and Ramblings
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  • Kuribo's Talking To Herself Again!
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  • barmy blubberings...
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  • Katrina's Blog
  • And now for something completely Heather...
  • Ray-Lynn's Blog
  • gene's Blog
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  • endilwen's Blog
  • StormyD's Blog
  • Random Rambling
  • Augusta11's Blog
  • Writings From My Sleeve
  • Daised's Blog
  • Daily Ramblings of a Bisexual Girl
  • From the top of my head to the bottom of my cowboy shoes.
  • Sunflower's Blog
  • BiMusings
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  • InaraGirl's Blog
  • Raffish Ramblings of Lilith
  • Kimber's Contemplations
  • inblume75's Blog
  • nothing really witty comes to mind right now...
  • The Chronicles of Beckifer
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  • Never Isn't An Option
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  • Emo Girlz Has Feelinz 2
  • elf's self
  • NightOwl Song
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  • The Rambler
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  • Inside my Mind
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  • My Blog
  • Bad Romance
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  • Starise Diaries
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  • Midnight's Rantings
  • My Rants, Drama and Scandal!
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  • Lozzie's daily ramblings
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  • We Choose To Walk Our Own Way
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  • The Lucid Delusional
  • Froguar's Beach House (PRIVATE CLUB)
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  • Since Beginningless Time (PUBLIC)
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  • Mari's Blog
  • Jillian's Mind..
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  • wandering thoughts of alejandro
  • The ramblings of Shakti
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  • The Unexpected
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  • Laughter is an instant vacation ~Milton Berle
  • Lozzie's Blog
  • In a fairytale world.
  • Random odds and ends
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  • What's Happenin' With Hula
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  • Drifting through
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  • Random Thoughts and Knowledge
  • The Influence of The Moon
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  • Green Eyed ADVENTURES & misADVENTURES
  • sodivine's Blog
  • My Repressed Thoughts
  • Life unedited
  • Cazzo's first blog :)
  • My stories...
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  • Discovering Me
  • Ogdens girl's Blog
  • words from nacole
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  • Is this what I want?
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  • Thank God for Mon Ami!
  • Lostlovin's Bloggy!
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  • Me & My Brain!
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  • shorty88's Blog
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  • A day in the life of a sleepy girl
  • A day in the life of a sleepy girl
  • Potage de Mot
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  • Baronness19's Blog
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  • realization
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  • Hello, I'm Alex.
  • CC Speaks
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  • geo's blog.
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  • Musings, Revelations and All Things In-Between
  • Rantings, Ravings, and General Complaints
  • Questions of Love
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  • Feelings - From Start & Onwards......
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Found 28 results

  1. Hi I'm Jeni, I am new here. I am looking for advice on meeting women. I have been with my dh for 6 years and we have 4 children between us. he has know from the beginning that I am bi and supports me 100% . He is even the one who suggested this site to me . He understands that my want for awomen has nothing to do with him and honestly just wants me to be happy. He isn't looking for a threesome like most guys. But I don't want some random hook up. I'm looking for a close friend who also likes women. But it so hard to find someone who is ok with me having a family.i am a busy mom I work full time got school only and I am very involved with my kids schools. So I have tried online dating and it never seems to lead anywhere . I just want some ideas please help if you can?
  2. Hi! I just joined today. Hoping to have conversations and possibly friends. I had browsed this forum and feel like I would fit in here. Honestly, I have been bi curious for years. And as years pass by, I don't know anymore if I'm bi or just curious or ... ? Now, I'm more attracted to girls. Ugh .. What to do? It's kind of hard actually to have no one to talk to. The fear of being rejected by my family, my friends, my relatives. Even my bestfriend for 8 years don't know about it. No one knew except me.
  3. Hi, This is the first time I've ever written this out. But I think I might be bi. I've always noticed an attraction to women, but I think it might be more than that. My relationship has just ended (with a guy) and I find myself thinking about being in a relationship with a woman more and more. I don't know what to do or how to process both this and a breakup. I'm just looking for some support and advice. I'm scared to tell anyone in real life because I'm so unsure and this is so new. Thanks x
  4. I grew up my friend... I grew up and betrayal no longer touch me... I got used to back stubbing and i only need just a moment to pull the knife out and clean my wound... I grew up my friend... I grew up and passerbys no longer nake me upset.. I grew up my friend.... And i found out that family is more than blood.. Family are the ones you choose to stay with you once your door is closed.. when you are low... The ones that will not put you inside a box and they will accept you without terms and without limits... I grew up my friend... And i want to make this journey only with the ones that we sing the same tune even if we are out of tune.. I grew up my friend.. And if it is not love then i prefer to have nothing... And if it is not faith then i don't want it... because i prefer to have nothing instead of nearly something.. I grew up my friend and it's not because i am old.. I grew up from my losses.. And now here i am standing.. marked but still alive ... I am not giving up.. I am not surrendering .. Its something i read and it touched me.It was written in Greek and it probably loses in translation but i tried to translate it as best as i could
  5. I've been with my partner since i was 15 yrs old, 16 years I've been with him, love him with all my heart. Since being in my 20's ive known i was attracted to woman, i feel that im never going to get the opportunity to be with a woman because of my relationship... my partner grew up with very homophobic parents, i will never tell him im bi because i know he will cause so much grief for me.... i want to explore, i want to know what its like to be with a beautiful woman but i feel hopelessly stuck..... it feels good to be able to express how i feel without anyone knowing who i am.....
  6. Good day, ladies. I have anxiety and depression, and I swear my studies in mental health have made me more and more aware of how mental illnesses can indeed affect our lives if we are not careful and don't have strategies in place to combat it. I've been with my therapist for 3 years, and I have come a long way, especially since my father died 4 years ago. It's like a battle, but with parts of those battles that I've slain evil dragons that try to creep up and tell me that I'm worthless or that I should worry about stupid shit. Honestly, I just hate when it attacks at random moments either by triggers, or it just shows up. Like today... Today started out as an okay day. After I'd received some mild news about some mundane thing in the world, my brain goes, "ah yes...although this isn't that much of a terrible thing, let's dwell on that and bring in other shit that has nothing to do with why we want to make you feel like crap today! Yay!" Ughhhh! No one has been attacking me at all. No one has triggered anything. This is all me. Usually, I distract myself by talking to my husband who makes me laugh or surfing through my other social media sites and finding funny memes. Nope. After I've laughed, it just sticks. I know it will go away, eventually, but ugh. I will say that I'm yet again irritated by the fact that I've tried to be more proactive in my search for another partner, but my efforts were in vain. I need to go on more outings with my special interest groups, but they only have it once a month. Then I literally just found out that they canceled this month's meeting due to our country's Independence Day on July 4th. *falls to my knees and cries* I was looking forward to meeting more people...this sucks horribly. I was looking forward to meeting some more people and making some acquaintances, and it just all gets snuffed out. I've taken breaks, and I swear, I don't have many friends with whom share my same or similar orientation and/or lifestyle. It's hard. It sucks being a bi, poly and married woman. I swear people think I'm a disease. I think I'm primarily angry at that. Being Bisexual, Polyamorous, and Married Sucks Why does it suck? It's not because I don't like being bisexual, married, and polyamorous. Oh no, personally, I love my orientation and my lifestyle. What sucks is that other people don't like it. This is a problem because I can BARELY find people who want to date me. They assume too much about me. The following assumptions prevent me from finding anyone: 1. "You're just another unicorn hunter." This is far from the truth. While not judging those who practice unicorn hunting, I personally am not interested in finding another partner for the mere pleasures of having a threesome. No. It is not a sexual thing. Will people believe me? Nope. They still think about the last time they were with a married woman, and that married woman betrayed them. Kind of like how some lesbians refuse to date bisexual women because the last one betrayed them and left them for a man. That's pretty much how this assumption goes. 2. "This is just a glorified way of cheating. You are unhappy with your husband." FFS, people do not understand the definition of what it means to be polyamorous. It is NOT cheating. Cheating is a form of DECEPTION. Nothing is deceiving about being polyamorous. If you are misleading people and you claim to be polyamorous, I've got one thing to say to you, "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!" 3. "I don't think you would have time for me. Plus, I don't want to get jealous or anything." One, you don't know me well enough to know whether or not I have time for you. Plus, I've managed time to talk to you, so I believe I'm good at managing my time. Two, jealousy arises in monogamous AND polyamorous relationships. How you deal with jealousy is what makes the relationship either stronger or weaker. In polyamory, we talk about it and find the catalyst from where the jealousy arose. Then we combat it. However, if you're that worried about being jealous, then why are you talking to me in the first place? Those are my top three that prevent me from merely getting a damn date. It makes me want to give up. It makes me want to just begrudgingly be monogamous to prevent any more irritation with my search of another partner. Seriously, I don't know what to do. It's a coin toss. Issues that arise when I DO find someone: 1. They think I'm a solution to their marital problems. My last ex-girlfriend was a piece of work. Although we communicated via online and phone for 3 months before our first date, she revealed all this shit about her husband and another woman who essentially was the catalyst for their marital problems. There were severe trust issues between her and her husband, and finally, I was like, "Are you even ready to add on another relationship in addition to the bs you're dealing with now??" Why I allowed myself to get into this situation, I have no idea. I'll take the blame for that one. I should have just said no. 2. They take advantage of me...or they try. I am not using the word advantage in a means of illegal activity, but I am talking about they use me for their own malicious needs and leave me dry. Same ex gf used me to advance herself in a field we both had an interest in, but she was aware I was trying to develop myself in this same area. She used MY resources to get her way into it and reap the benefits of my hard work. Yeah, she was a horrible person. 3. They magically do not have time for me or do not respect my life. I'm not talking occasionally. Life does happen, and sometimes there may be times when we won't talk. I'm talking about they can't even send a quick text to me. I've known a small percentage who have managed to keep in contact via text, and I was fine. The last few people have sucked at it. Their excuses where asinine too. It isn't fair that I devote some of my time to you, and you don't do the same to me. This is where I miss one of my exes because she was very good at ensuring that she made me feel loved and cared for. We were fine then. Unfortunately, she's the one that got away. The latter portion of this issue is that I cannot be as open as I'd like to be due to my job. It doesn't mean that I am ashamed of my partner; unfortunately, there are jobs out there who do not support the LGBTQ+ community nor do they support polyamorous dynamics. Until I get into my other career, I have to stay closeted. I do know LGBTQ friendly hangouts in my area, but that person has to be mindful of me. There was one girl who had an issue with this AND could not manage her time. She suddenly realized that she had parental responsibilities as well as had issues with me being partially closeted. She knew very well that she was a mother and that her child had needs. Why, all of a sudden, have they become more apparent when you deliberately took time out of your schedule to talk to me for nearly 2 damn months? Also, I hardly ever had issues with my partners knowing that I have to be partially closeted for job purposes, but this one girl was obnoxious. The simple answer "just don't work for them!" does not work anymore. I have responsibilities to meet and bills to pay. Are you going to pay my bills? No. Either deal with it or leave. She chose to leave. Goodbye. Have a nice life! 4. The one that got away... These are people who I matched with, but due to some life circumstances, we were better off separated. This sucks. This hurts more because I've developed an attachment to them, and it's like...gah. I was so close! Sheesh! Oh well. I shall continue to torture myself by not giving up and trying again while taking breaks. Surely there is someone out there who will respect me and my dynamics. Strangely men tend to be a bit more open than women, but I have met those men who feel similarly about the jealousy part. I just hate when I meet men who try to compare themselves to my husband. It is not a fucking competition! Why do they even do that? They try to see whose cock is bigger instead of caring about being in a relationship with me. Then they worry constantly about whether my husband knows or not. If I tell them that I've spoken with and showed their picture to my husband, then why do they constantly worry? I have daily conversations with my husband, and we talk about the partners with whom we are either interested. Where is the issue? Why keep asking if you know I regularly communicate with my husband? There is no issue! Get over it! I think that, largely, they're not used to it and someone has betrayed them in the past. Aye, there's the rub. Anyway, onward march. I think talking about this has helped me minimize my depressive symptoms. Although it is not completely gone, I can still be glad that I feel a small percentage better having written this out and seeing it clearly in black and white. Perhaps I can find more online poly groups. I just wish there was a local poly community where I can have friends who are poly and just talk to them and vent. Namaste, Bella
  7. Sometimes I just wish I was straight. I am so overwhelming at times. It’s hard to figure out where I belong and accepting l this in my 30’s married with kids. It’s so much harder then I would of thought. I feel lucky as I do have a girlfriend and my husband is ok with it as well as her husband. But honestly what kind of relationship can we really have? Can it even evolve at all? We both have families so that is where our properties are. It would just be easier if I didn’t have all these other feelings for someone else besides my husband. I’m not in love with her but I do care for her a good bit. I feel so guilty about that. Ugh, why is it so hard? Anyone else feel this way?
  8. ...so let's have a random chat/get to know each other thread! Apologies if this has already been done but I've not seen it on the first couple of pages and I assume anything past that is a zombie thread. My real name is Chantelle, I'm 33. I have three children - two girls and a boy. Two of them are little so I'm a stay at home parent, hope to get back to the adult world one day! I have a wonderful fiance who totally gets the whole bi thing. Oh we also have two cats and they're a pain in the arse lol. I love gaming, reading, watching too much stuff on Netflix and the like. My favourite music is metal, rock, synthwave and industrial but I'm also partial to a bit indie/folk. Currently trying to lose weight and keep it off now that I'm done having kids. Tell me a bit about yourself
  9. Anyone doing anything for Pride month? It’s not until July in my city. I’ve never been along to anything but would love to go!
  10. How far are we willing to go? For us married women here that we lean slightly to the Gay side or have been with a woman and discovered that we are more than the bi label. Has being with a woman quitenend your curiosity or has it made things worse?
  11. So ladies, Today I bit the bullet and made myself an appointment to get my hair done. I've been debating whether or not to get the ends done blonde for a long time so I'm just going to do it. Then at some point I'll do it some bright, funky colour I need to give myself a confidence boost as I've not been feeling my best. Need to lose weight too but that's obviously more of a long term thing. What self care have you guys done lately?
  12. I'm confused by what a previous gf said to me the other day - she doesn't class herself as bi or lesbian and isn't attracted to any girl apart from me..and said she never finds any girl attractive at all..!!?? To which I replied you must be bi she's adamant she's not.. even though I can tell you now she is (lol) ;) The older I get the more interested I am in women (blush) How do you see yourself ? Do you find the older you get the more you yearn for it ?
  13. I've been on here awhile now reading the forums and all the suggestions about open communication. However, this is NOT an option for me. I had hinted to my husband in the past and he blew it off or joked about threesomes. This time I explicitly told him I wanted to explore with another woman and he responded with a few lovely derogatory terms. The desires and the fantasies about other women are only increasing, and I am afraid trying to ignore it will not be an option much longer. I recently joined a group for polyamorous/bi women that is an hour away, but I am not sure where to go from here. Going to the women's support group means convincing him to watch the kids, and anything more local means posting a picture of my face online that could be seen by non-members (him). Any one have suggestions on balancing needs vs reality when they are complete opposites?
  14. I've been on here a little over a year and It's been an amazing journey of self discovery. It also made me curious about the range of different ways that people who use this site identify. Unfortunately it only lets me ask 3 questions at a time so i couldn't ask more... I clicked for it to be anonymous so no worries on that. Curious what people pick...
  15. I'm in South Devon, on a bit of a mission to find some friends. Having young children makes it really hard to meet people, other than the mummy crowd and that's not really my style. Plus it would be beyond awesome to meet other bi ladies and you can't just ask random people if they're bi haha! So here I am. Come and say hi if you're out there...
  16. So often in talking about bisexuality I find people wanting to dodge "being labelled". Labels are, they explain, bad. Harmful. Restricting, people putting you in a metaphorical box. I wonder what it's about really. Cos when I came out as bi to my sister and she said "me too", labels were really useful. When we talked about some of the problems we'd had being bi, other labels were really useful too - gay, straight, men, women... When I found a bi group, having a word for it was very handy. Otherwise the poster would have had to be terribly waffly, like some kind of parlour game, a version of the yes-no game where you can never say "both" or "and". I think frustrations with labels are often not about labels - which are just words, the very things that have made us such a hugely successful species - but about the things people think come along with the labels. Bisexuals are indecisive. Bisexuals are greedy. Bisexuals haven't properly come out yet and will pick a team later. None of those things are actually about bisexuals. But you hear them enough and being labelled bisexual doesn't feel like a good idea. Which is a shame, because as boxes to be put in, bisexual is just about the roomiest, least restricting box in the world. As wide as the seas. From "my head is almost only ever turned by women, but that one man every now and then" to "it's all about the genderqueers, but there was that one time with someone cis", from "lots of all sorts of people" to "only a couple of people ever, but I'm open to whatever might come along next".
  17. Hi, so as you all may know that I have been on here for over a year now and I just want to say how happy I am that I found shy's and that I am eternally greatful/thankful to the creaters of this site. However, I am really starting to feel alone not when I am on here but offline. I sometimes feel like I am living a secret life or at least that I am keeping this big secret. Its like I can't tell anyone about being Bi, and If I do I can get anything from good reactions to straight up horrible reactions depending on the person. Also, I feel because of my age that many might just see it as people in my life are influencing me, or that its a phase. Not that age is really important at least in my opinion I just think in my case it might play a role. Does anyone else experience this? If so how do you deal with it? Thanks for reading I appreciate it!
  18. There hasn't been much happening over here. I have been chatting every now and then and browsing apps like Her and Tinder. I matched with a couple of woman, but I still haven't clicked with any of them. It seems like most people are either looking for just friendship or just sex. I'm open to making new friends, but I am not interesting in a purely sexual relationship with anyone. Hubby and I also talked a little, and he still wants to be involved. Maybe she would be our friend with benefits... Or maybe she would be a girlfriend. I really don't know yet. He has also mentioned twice that he has a friend who is bi. I met her once, but I don't know... I guess we would have to all meet up and see how it goes. I don't have a problem with him being involved, but I don't think I am going to find someone who is interested in both of us. We'll see. I guess he doesn't have a problem with it being just me and her at first. We'll have to talk more so I can fully understand how he's feeling. I just don't know if I should do it now or wait to see if I can even if I can even find someone.
  19. So I grew up in a very religous family where the only sexual identity was straight. Gays, bisexuals, transgender anything outside the straight identity were considered devient and "sinful," any participation in these other identities resulted in going to hell when you died. So in the midst of my struggle to find my sexual identity and keep my faith, I surpressed my identity for years. Once I did except my sexual idemtitiy as bi and not straight I struggled to keep my faith. I felt that I was acting like something I was not and ended up giving up my faith. My question is how many others have felt they had to give up their faith to be them true selves? Or have any of you mamaged to keep your faith while being who you truly are, and how did you do that?
  20. I have always had an open mind about sexuality although I personally have considered myself to be straight. I feel as though I can comfortably recognize and appreciate the beauty in all people regardless of race, gender, creed or whatever identity someone may associate with. But now I find myself struggling to understand my attraction for another woman. (Women?) I am 30 years old. I married young and divorced after 5 years because he didn't want children. I didnt want them either at the time but I couldn't stay knowing children would never be an option. I decided this was a deal breaker for me. After a few years of being single I met a great guy who I love and have been with for 3 years now. We live together and have talked about wanting children in the future but it's never been a need for us. I'd say I am content, happy enough although there is room for improvement. We're a bit distant now that I recently started a new career which I absolutely love. I've found my calling! The only... issue is that I have developed an almost overwhelming attraction for my female boss. I just can't figure out why her, why now or how to let it go. And for my career, for my own sanity-- I NEED to understand what's happening (and how to proceed). My boss is a stud which blind sided me so bad because I tend to notice women who are generally way more femme. And again, I've always been able to say to myself, "Oh okay, she's cute/pretty," regardless of the "type" of woman that person is. But with my boss.... I've never been more attracted to someone before, male or female. It's that sort of feeling you hear other people talk about, what you read in books or watch in movies yet I've never really felt for myself. It's that breathless, all consuming, heavy sort of feeling anytime I'm around her or think about her. I catch myself unable to focus on her words because I'm too busy trying to control my attraction for her. Or resisting the urge to position myself closer so I can inhale the scent of her. I feel absolutely pathetic. And it doesn't feel strictly physical which makes it even worse. In a nutshell, my position at work has allowed me to become close with my boss so now I'm finding that I am starting to be attracted to her on a personal level as well. One example is that my 7 year old niece came by to visit me at work. My boss was so great with her that I felt a longing for children of my own that I have never felt with my ex or boyfriend. Seeing her with my niece just put this attraction to a whole new level. Seeing my boss with her girlfriend is like a tug of war. On one end I completely respect commitment and monogamy for myself and towards her relationship but on the other hand I find myself being absolutely jealous of my boss's gf or irritated that we are both not single. Now I'm questioning everything about myself. I'm trying to figure out if this is just some power trip attraction, if I'm lonely or unhappy or if I truly am bisexual. Part of me thinks I might already know the answer... I have another coworker who is also a stud and has the same style as my boss. It's not the same breath taking attraction like I have for my boss but I catch myself seriously checking her out now also!!! Plus, this coworker is a little touchy feely which I am experiencing more guilty pleasure over. (It's nothing inappropriate, but I get flirtatious vibes from her). Am I reading this wrong? Am I projecting what I feel on her now because my boss is more off limits then my single coworker?? I've never experimented with women before. Never felt as though I missed out but now I wonder if I am. What I'd really like advice on Is whether or not it's too late for me explore? Am I just unhappy with my bf and looking for excitement? And most importantly -- how can I become okay with how I feel about my boss? Better yet, how can I get rid of these feelings??? One last note to this post that is turning into a novel-- I work at at huge fitness club. So eye candy everywhere. But I don't notice the fit men or women. Not how i notice my boss. Crap, and now my coworker. But it's like comparing an ocean to a stream. ***And I'm currently wanting to drown myself in said ocean*** I'm begging anyone who reads this for any sort of input or advice. Please and thank you in advance.♡
  21. So, a few years ago now when I first became a moderator here I decided to write a blog explaining my life to date, my journey if you will. A little background on the woman who'd become your new mod. But, after deciding to leave shybi shortly after, I deleted that blog along with my profile before I left. Looking back at that now it seems kinda foolish, mostly because I didn't back up a copy before I erased it, and because of that here I sit at my keyboard once again. At the moment I'm trying to remember what I shared, but my memory isn't my best feature so I guess I'm starting this from scratch. So here goes... This will likely be my only blog, like an extension of my profile if you will. Just to let you all know who I am and why I'm here. Maybe I can help some of you with my story in the process. I'm not one to overshare usually, not with strangers anyway, but I do like to use my experiences in life in order to help others, so I'll try to do this without going into too much detail. My story began like a lot of women here, growing up I always felt different to the other girls. I was very close in age to my sister and cousin and so the 3 of us were brought up like siblings and spent most days together. When they'd have dolls and pretty dresses, I'd have cars, climb trees and get dirty. Now I don't want to sound like your typical uneducated idiot who believes girls should have dolls and boys should have cars, I believe in giving children whatever toy most interests them, there's no girl or boy toys in my house, but at that young age it made me feel like I was different because I wasn't your "typical girl" like them. As I got older they started to discover make up, and do each other's hair, and I'd be out playing sports and not giving a crap about how I looked. All my friends were boys, I did try and make friends with girls but I just didn't feel comfortable being around them because they didn't like what I liked. It wasn't until I was 12 that I finally became best friends with a girl. She was nothing like me, she loved make up, and boys (something I'd never even thought about). We would spend a lot of time in her room listening to music which was something we both loved, and talking about whatever pop star we had a crush on. I didn't really notice boys at that point, but I went along with it because I wanted her to like me. We did everything together, we were always together, then I started to develop feelings, for her. At that point I told myself it was wrong, that it wasn't how things were meant to be. In the end I became really jealous every time she spoke to any other girls, and maybe that became more and more obvious to her, then after a while we were no longer friends anymore. I was devastated. Told myself I'd not let that happen again and went back to making friends with boys until my late teens. I think this was the realisation for me that I was different, but because I felt it was wrong I hid it from everyone and tried to push it down inside me hoping if I ignored it long enough it would go away. I was 19 before I got into my first serious relationship with a man. I never really trusted them to be honest, things had happened in my past that made me very wary of them, and so it wasn't easy for me to even talk to them never mind trust them. We met over the phone, we started texting on some chat function our phones had back then. It was 2003 and not a lot of people I knew had the internet, nor did we have the flash phones we have these days. He was very sweet and kind, he told me his story, I told him mine, we connected in a way I never had with anyone else and we met after talking for 11 months. He travelled around 200 miles to come see me where I live, he met my family and was the perfect gentleman. Everyone loved him. I had an inkling back then that even though he was this wonderful amazing man that loved me no matter what, that something just wasn't right about us. I put it down to my anxiety and having little experience with relationships. I'd struggled many years with health issues, which I told him all about, he understood when I told him about my depression and anxiety issues, because he himself had them too. But when it came to my physical health issues it was a new thing for him. But he surprised me, he was completely understanding, accepting, and patient. You see I've had a genetic connective tissue disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome since birth, you hear about it a lot more these days but back then it was unheard of. I suffered with daily joint dislocations and pain, not to mention all the other wonderfully gruesome stuff that comes along with it. It didn't phase him, he was there during surgeries, hospital appointments, medication trials, he saw me go through some of the worst years of my life. He was also the first person I told about my attraction to women, again it didn't phase him at all. He was completely understanding of my admission that I was bicurious, which is essentially what it was back then, and told me that as long as I was always honest with him and never unfaithful, he had no problems with this. That's when things started to turn kinda pear shaped in my eyes. He kinda gave me that acceptance that I'd always looked for, and I started to notice women a lot more after that. I would often comment on a beautiful woman when I was with him and he'd laugh and agree. Then it progressed, once again I made a female best friend. I was new to the internet and we kinda met online, we spent many years being the best of friends, telling each other everything, sharing stuff that girls share with their besties, but we never actually met which I think helped me avoid temptation. It took a while to develop but I started to have feelings for her. So I went to my boyfriend and told him, he made the odd joke here and there and referred to us as "the lesbians" when in our company. We'd just laugh it off, sometimes I would make a comment that was maybe overstepping for him but because she would respond to it, in a jokey fashion, he seemed okay with it. I crushed on that girl for so many years, but like the previous friend we drifted apart. She moved on with her life, got a boyfriend, and we just stopped talking as much as we used to. I was so sad, it was like I'd ended a romantic relationship. My boyfriend could see it too, he tried his best to even help us reconnect but it never happened and so I just moved on with my life too. Had a big surgery after that and he was my rock through the recovery, learning to do things as simple as walking again, but as always was very understanding and patient. He asked me to marry him shortly after, and I said yes. Fast forward to the day I joined shybi, it was 2011 and myself and my fiancé had been together for almost 8 years. We were happy enough I guess, things never did seem right but I thought maybe it was because we'd been together a long time and relationships do change over long periods of time. I didn't talk to him anymore about my feelings for women, I kept it all bottled up inside and hoped it would go away, after all I was engaged now and so what did it matter. But the years took their toll on me and I found myself more and more unhappy. Then I found this place. I was randomly looking online, searching the terms "bicurious" and "bisexual" and I guess trying to understand it. That's when I came across this place. It was like an Aladdin's cave I must admit, I was incredibly keen, ask any of the old mods here what I was like haha. It was like I'd finally found a place I could be me. I didn't want to come over as depressing, nor did i want anyone to know of my disabilities, and so I decided to create a persona, and that is when "Rocky" was born. I was a huge flirt, I think I hit on every girl who showed an interest in me. I posted all over the forums too, I had finally found a place full of women like me. I wasn't here to find someone, I wasn't here to hook up or date, I was simply here to be myself without judgement. Even if I did come across as trouble, and got in trouble a few times, I loved every second of it. I think the ladies here started to get to know me too, they saw through my mask and discovered that underneath it all I was actually a really kind, caring and understanding individual. People would come to me with their problems and I'd always do my best to help out. I became a permanent fixture here after only a few weeks and I'd never been happier. Now I don't suppose she'll mind me talking about it here, I won't give names or details, but after only a few weeks it happened again. I met someone. We flirted, we talked, we got to know each other, and we soon realised we were very alike. Our lives similar in creepy ways, our hobbies and interests were mirrored in each other, even our boyfriends looked alike, and we soon realised we could tell each other everything. We became the best of friends, we knew there was more there and we often discussed it in detail, but in the end we knew that nothing would ever happen because we both wouldn't leave our partners, and mine wasn't open to anything outside the relationship. Not to mention she was American and I never thought there was a chance we'd ever meet. But we became best friends, and our boyfriends became friends too, and then our families, after a while it was like we'd always been in each others lives. But deep down my feelings for her clouded my judgement and I made foolish mistakes that cost me her friendship, and my relationship, on multiple occasions. I shared with her how I couldn't hide who I was anymore, and she supported me in whatever I wanted to do. So I told my boyfriend that it had happened yet again, but this time it was different. I wanted more, I'd overstepped boundaries, I essentially betrayed him and went behind his back, not in a physical way but emotionally. He was crushed. We talked a lot after that, I think I was finally able to get across to him that this wasn't just a curiosity, but this was me, and had been me this whole time. He told me he'd forgive me, that we could make it work if I was more open and honest with him, but I wasn't to seek out a woman again because he couldn't handle that betrayal again. I agreed at that stage, I told myself I couldn't lose him even though at that stage I realised that maybe I'd become more dependant on him than anything. I told myself no one would want me the way I was and he did. Why throw that away? Guess what, you guessed it! It happened again. But this time it was different. After being here for a while I decided to leave shys, I continued my friendship with the girl above outside of shys, and even though I've put her through a ton of shit over the years I'm pleased to say we're still friends. But I couldn't stand being here anymore. I could see all these women talking about their experiences, their girlfriends, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I got on with my life and tried to forget about the place. Then one night, I got into a conversation with my friend from here about our relationship, it was always kinda odd, and people would often ask us if we were dating we were so close, but I felt I could still talk to her about my feelings. That night we talked about how my feelings were still all over the place, that even though I'd gotten over this crush with her, I still wanted to be with a woman. I was miserable and I didn't know what else to do. We talked about it a lot and she told me she'd support whatever I chose to do, and with that, I decided to come back here one night and see if my old friends were still around. I logged into chat on December 5th 2013, I was approaching my 30th birthday that month, and my 10 year anniversary with my fiancé. I didn't recognise anyone at first, then a few familiar faces popped in and it was like I'd never left, and there she was. I'd noticed that all the girls in the room were flirty and outgoing and so my old persona sneaked back in pretty quickly, I started to flirt with everyone in the room I think, I'd been gone a while and I was like a kid in a candy store I guess. But she stood out, to this day I still don't know why her name caught my eye. Something about her just drew me in and I found myself wanting to know more about her. She was the quietest in the room, not really talking much, and maybe that's what intrigued me a little, she wasn't falling victim to my charms like everyone else haha. I tried my hardest to get her attention but she didn't really respond. Then I asked a question, so where is everyone here from? Everyone replied, and then she did, Michigan here.... My first thought was oh no not another one You see the girl I mentioned above was also from Michigan and I made some stupid joke about how I had a thing for women from Michigan. She laughed and went back to being quiet. I did my usual stupid chat stuff, flirted, virtually dancing with the others, think I virtually stripped at one point, but she never said a thing. So I decided I was gonna send her a PM. The reason I had for messaging her was a stupid one, and was all I could come up with, but it got her attention. We chatted for a little after that and then went back to the main room where she started to join in a little more. After the night was over I left her a "Hey you" kinda message on her profile and she responded. From that moment I knew this wasn't your average attraction, after all I had no idea what she even looked like. For the first time I was drawn to a woman before I'd even laid eyes on her. This was a different kind of connection. We talked on and off numerous times after that night. I'd log on to see if she was there and when she wasn't I'd log out again. She wasn't around for a little while after that and I found myself asking around to see if anyone knew where she'd gone. No one knew. Then one day she came back, I didn't ask where she'd gone or what she was doing, I just told her I was glad she was back. I got a little forward after that and asked her for a photo, at this point I was already hooked and I told myself I didn't really care what she looked like because we'd connected in other ways. She told me she didn't share her photos here but she'd pm me one. I was so nervous, what if she wasn't what I usually go for? what if that would be a problem? I loved her personality already, and as much as I don't care about looks, I felt that some kind of attraction had to be there. I opened her message and saw her, she was adorable. I told her right away, I think it made me even more keen to pursue her. But I played it cool this time, I wasn't about to ruin this. Then one day in January of 2014 I made a status, a status that was seated in my depressive nature, she responded in a caring concerned way and told me if I ever needed to talk to message her. She told me later she never thought I'd take her up on the offer and was pleasantly surprised when I did. We got talking, not much, just bits here and there but in private. I showed her my weird bendy joints, mostly I was curious about how she'd react. It didn't phase her, at all, she'd worked in the medical field and anything of that nature didn't scare her off, she seemed more intrigued than anything. So I made the choice to ask if she'd like to chat outside of shys, she was like... Sure! Where? And I said how about WhatsApp? Here's my number, add me, I'll be there. She told me later that she didn't think I was serious, that a girl like me would give her the time of day, that she tried to call my bluff and she was shocked when she found out I was being serious. And that's how Tbare and I began. Outside of shys we became inseparable, we talked every day, we'd call each other, skype, and those feelings I had for her only grew. This was unlike anything I'd ever felt before and at that point I knew, I was gonna have to come clean yet again and tell my fiancé. Only this time I wasn't sure what I was gonna do. This time I couldn't just cut ties and apologise, this time I couldn't push it deep down and forget. I was in love, and it kinda felt like the first time. My boyfriend slowly saw my relationship with her develop over time. He told me of his concerns but I just shrugged them off and said everything was fine. He knew it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. Then one night she told me something on the phone, some bad news, and I broke down in tears. I was genuinely sad for her, I was a mess when my boyfriend walked in and saw me sitting there in a puddle of tears. He had no idea what was wrong and just hugged me in silence. Eventually he asked what was upsetting me so much, and I flat out told him that this girl was going through something and I wanted to be there for her, the fact that I was stuck here and I wanted to be there with her was making me miserable. I didn't want her to be alone. I loved her. I think that was the night we both realised we were over, we were distant after that. I guess we went through a separation, he said he needed time to think before we sat down and talked about it. I saw this as an opportunity to spend more time with her and that was when I knew that my relationship with him was over. Shortly after this the woman who I loved most, my grandmother, my best friend, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. 6 weeks to 2 months they told us at the hospital. As I was the only one not working in my family I stepped up, I was gonna take care of her like she had done me when I was a kid growing up with so many problems. I gave it my all, I was on 24hr call, feeding, toileting, changing, I saw my nana go from the strong independent woman I admired and loved turn into a shell. It broke my heart. I was there for everything, good and bad, we got to spend the most amazing 6 weeks together. But they were also the most heart breaking of my entire life to date. I didn't want to put her through the knowledge that my relationship was over, she'd loved this man like her own grandson for over a decade, they were the best of friends. He was heartbroken when he found out, but agreed we would keep up appearances while she was still with us. He visited her when he could, he'd hold her hand and talk to her for hours, he'd hold bowls under her while she puked up whatever meds they gave her that day, he helped me take care of this amazing lady and for that I will always be grateful to him. During the 2 months my nana was sick I decided to introduce her to T, I kept thinking she isn't gonna get to meet this amazing person I want to share my life with. They had to know each other. So I told her all about her, her life, her family, our friendship, she was always so intrigued about her and always asked about her and how she was doing. Then they spoke on the phone one night while I left them to go do dishes, I came back to hear them both in fits of laughter. They got along well. Then she stopped laughing and said to her, I wouldn't say this if I didn't mean it but you're a very beautiful girl, and I'd love nothing more than if you were my 5th granddaughter. That was exactly what I wanted to hear, even though I never really knew if she knew (She asked me on several occasions why myself and my boyfriend had split up, and I kept saying we hadn't) I always told myself that she did and she accepted her and us. Even if she didn't, or wouldn't have, it didn't matter after that. My nana loved me and nothing would have gotten in the way of that. I was there when she took her last breath, I held her hand and told her I loved her. Was the hardest thing I've ever done. T was there for me every day, talking to me, listening to me, sometimes just hearing me cry for hours on end. She gave me the reassurance and the strength to get through it all. She was my rock and I couldn't have done it all without her. On the day my nana died my fiancé showed up to see her, but it was too late for him to say goodbye. I reached out to hug him and he pulled away. I asked him if I could please have a hug, that's all I wanted, he eventually obliged but instantly pulled away. I asked if we could talk, he said it was too late and that I'd made my choice. I guess I just wanted a chance to make a clean break, to talk it all out and say what needed to be said. But he wasn't up to listening, and to be honest I don't blame him. To this day I feel guilt ridden over the whole thing, he was a good man, and I'm not the type of person to hurt anyone. I care too much to ever hurt someone. Yet here I was hurting the one person who'd been there for me for over a decade, no matter what. I wish I could go back sometimes, not to change where I am now, but to change how it happened. I'd have the decency to tell him straight. The last thing he said to me was, we all make mistakes in life, that he has made his fair share too, but we made these mistakes to learn from them. That he hoped that what had happened meant that I'd learn from it and never do it again. I promised him that. He walked away after that and we didn't speak for a long time. It's been 3 years now and we're finally in a good place, we can talk and be friends to an extent, and we still help each other out when we can. I truly hope that he finds someone who is worthy of his love, because like I tell everyone still, they don't make a lot of men like him anymore. My relationship with T only blossomed after that. I went to visit her 4 times in America, which was terrifying as Id never flown before. The first time was in the fall for 2 weeks, second time in the summer for almost a month, the third time again the following summer for almost a month, where she got down on one knee and asked me to be her wife, and then last but not least the fourth time for a month over the Christmas and New Years holidays. We struggle with the distance like any other couple in a LDR, but we make it work. We just had our 3 year anniversary and we couldn't be happier. I have truly found my soulmate, the person I want to spend my entire life with. But at the same time I found myself, which was the most important thing in all of this. We continue to grow as a couple every day and our love for each other has never failed, and it's been tested so many times. I know that she is my happy ending, and I will always do my best to progress forward and get closer to the day we can be together permanently. My family love her and have accepted my relationship with her, although it took some time, and her family love and accept us just the same. We're always gonna encounter people who think we shouldn't be together, and sadly we've known of a few, but the most important ones, and their opinions, are the only ones that matter to us. I thank this place every day for her, she is my reason for all that I do. I fight harder, I achieve more, and I never give up, because of her. She has had such a profound impact on my life, and I have never loved anyone like I love her. She makes me happier than I've ever been, and I hope that I can always make her proud of me as we go through life together. She is my reason for getting up every day and fighting the hand I've been dealt, and I like to think the support, love, and adoration that I have for her has made her more accepting of who she is, and how far she's come, because she is truly an amazing, strong and beautiful woman, and I couldn't be luckier in life than to have her by my side. So I guess I wanna finish this blog (If you've gotten this far) with this, don't be someone you aren't. Don't portray yourself to be anything less than the amazing, unique, individual that you are. We are all blessed with this ability to see the beauty in people, no matter the gender. I think that's a pretty amazing ability to have. So why hide it. I know there are women out there who can't be open and honest to everyone they know, and that we live in a world where this is seen as something wrong in the eyes of many, but never hide it completely. I tried and it ended in disaster. It wasn't until I accepted who I was and embraced it that I was finally able to be happy. Even if the only place you can be open is here, be open, be proud, and never, ever, see it as a curse. I hope not only I, but others who read this, can learn from my mistakes and go on to use this as a way to make their life better. Rocky x
  22. So I've just had the most amazing night. Threesome with my man and a girl I've been meeting with Started of slow but when we got into it my mind was blown My favourite part had to be me and her 69 when I was on top and my man was eating my ass at the same time. Omg goosebumps thinking about it. He slid into my ass while we were still in the 69 and I came harder than I ever have before. The dirtiest thing was right at the death after hours of fun me and her were kissing so deeply and he came over faces and we kept kissing with his cum dripping on our faces. I know feel like I am a pornstar and can't wait to do it all again lol
  23. New

    Hello everyone! I was told about this site by a friend of mine and I love it already! Im Rivka, 22, Bi (obviously), Married but Poly, Wiccan, and currently residing in Georgia. I hope to make lots of friends here!
  24. Hey all you American ShyBi gals! I'm traveling solo from Aus to the U.S in just over a week and am in L.A and N.Y the longest. Whoo! In L.A, I'm staying on Sunset Blvd, and was wondering if there were any cool lezzy spots I could snoop out on my first few days there? In N.Y, I'll be in Times Square (I know, hectic!) and again wondering what's close? I'm finding Google a bit cryptic... so reaching out to the people! Hoping to go to spots that are relatively easy to get to, and safe. Who knows maybe I'll bump into one of you - keep your ears open for an Aussie accent! haha
  25. Omg so I'm married. I've been with my husband for 15 years but realized that I'm bi a few years ago. He's accepting of it and even open to me exploring a relationship with a girlfriend. (He's awesome!) Anyways, I just booked a trip to visit one of my closest friends who just happens to be a lesbian and who I've developed feelings for which she doesn't know about. I'm so nervous for this trip but I'm hoping I can get up the courage to tell her how I feel. Any suggestions on how to do that??