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Found 14 results

  1. Where are you on Kinsley scale as of today? I am here (stage 4): http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/results.php Which is correct as I do not see myself attracted to any other man than my husband, rarely if never fantasize about men, but mostly about women. Now the question is: how to reconcile THIS with a monogamous heterosexual marriage? I naively thought my bisexuality would remain dormant since I got married 8 years ago - very naive of me. I became bisexual at 26 yo and I am 41 yo. Recently a woman awakened this side of me which to be honest I am delighted to have found and felt again. I have been at ease with my bisexuality since I have embraced it. There has been a lot of threads on those boiling steamy topics: heterosexual marriage, monogamy versus bisexuality. I see no white and black reply (obviously). So where are you on the Kinsley scale and how much does it match the reality of your present life? Are you missing something, are you satisfied, are you wishing to change something and unsure how? Or did you, and successfully? Jump in! :-)
  2. I got engaged to my boyfriend recently. There were some issues before that were worked out. I told him I was bisexual and monogamous. I explained it to him and thought that was the end of that. Turns out he didn’t understand it. He seems to be trying but nothing I say seems to be able to make him understand that I, being bi, could be married to him without absolutely having to having to have a girlfriend. And I don’t know how to explain it to him. I would really appreciate some help.
  3. No one knows I'm bisexual, perhaps a few wouldn't be surprised if I was but I feel pretty invisible. I love makeup, softly spoken, love wearing mini skirts/dresses but I'm more of a doc martens/chunky boots kinda gal than stilettos; (can't walk in them to save my life). It's not like I want to wear a flashing top everyday saying "Bisexual Woman" across it, but I sometimes wish people wouldn't assume I'm straight, especially since I don't even speak about relationships/dating much and if the topic does come up I always use 'they' or 'people' instead of 'him/her' or 'men/women'. Which is how my mother sussed I am bi, though she is accepting we have never spoken about my sexuality. This year I've fantasised about relationships with women more so than men, where as before it was the other way around and I'd think about women only in a sexual way rather than romantic. I can't see myself being in a relationship anytime soon but if I had to choose it'd be with another woman. I suppose I have to start going to bi meetups/events in my area as I can't stand online dating! What's your experience with being a bi femme?
  4. https://www.themarysue.com/warner-bros-wonder-woman-bisexuality-petition/
  5. The DC superhero Wonder Woman will soon be in the media spotlight as her first big screen motion picture opens on June 2nd. The movie, starring Gal Gadot has been a long time in coming as Wonder Woman was created by William Moulton Marston back in 1941. Last year marked the 75th anniversary of her creation and the occasion was celebrated by her being nominated as a ceremonial ambassador to the UN, a decision which was quickly overturned after a vigorous protest was organized by UN staff who objected to a fictional female superhero (created to be a role model for girls), being granted honorary status. Lynda Carter and Gal Gadot (past and present actresses to portray Wonder Woman) Wonder Woman was indeed a champion for the rights of women when she created by Marston and his inspiration came from the suffragettes and the first wave of feminism in 19th and early 20th century. One particular source was the literary work of feminist Charlotte Perkins Gilman (1860-1935) who was a lecturer, writer and champion of autonomy for women. Her most known work is The Yellow Wallpaper, a short story about a woman who suffers emotional and mental breakdown as a result of a "rest-cure" prescribed by her doctor. The story mirrors Charlotte's experience with postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter when she was was subjected to "rest" which was in fact an emotionally damaging enforced isolation. After recovering Gilman began her life's work of being a champion for the equality of women and the necessity for women to be able to work outside the home. Gilman also wrote acclaimed non-fiction as well including Women and Economics and The Home: It's Work and Influence which elaborated on the thesis that women remained severely undeveloped when confined to domestic toil within a home. Charlotte Perkins Gilman Gilman also wrote a trilogy of feminist utopian novels, and one in particular, Herland (1915) provided a setting that would be used to create the back story for Wonder Woman. Herland was a speculative work of fiction that explored the possible nature of a society made up of only women and girls. The plot involves a group of 3 male explorers who discover a hidden plateau where a female-only society has been evolving separately from the rest of the world for over a thousand years. The women reproduce through parthogenesis, a type of asexual reproduction that is found in some species of fish, birds, amphibians and reptiles. The men are surprised to discover that Herland is advanced technologically and yet ecologically sustainable and that it's inhabitants are well-educated, healthy and happy. After a prolonged visit the men realize that Herland is a society that is superior to theirs in every possible way. Herland is the inspiration for Wonder Woman's birth place and home - Paradise Island which is inhabited by only women who reproduce asexually. The story of Wonder Woman begins when a man, Steve Trevor is injured in a plane crash near Paradise Island and is rescued and brought back to health. Diana (Wonder Woman) falls in love with Trevor and travels back with him to help save the world from the Axis powers (the main concern in 1941), and other subsequent evils. William Moulton Marston would have been very familiar with the works of Gilman and other feminists of the time because he was immersed in that world though his association with feminists. His childhood sweetheart and later wife Elizabeth Holloway, a psychologist and attorney, exemplified the liberated woman who achieved success outside of the home. Marston's mistress Olive Byrne was the niece of Margaret Sanger, the radical feminist who championed the birth-control movement in the US and founded the organization that would evolve into Planned Parenthood. Her mother Ethyl Byrne was also a radical feminist who championed for the same causes as her sister Margaret. Holloway and Byrne contributed to Wonder Woman both inspirationally and creatively; they provided advice and details about plots and dialog and it was Olive's article written for Family Circle in 1940 about Marston's views on the morality of comic books that caught the attention of M.C. Gaines, publisher of Superman. Gaines would go on to hire Marston as a consultant and then as writer for a new female superhero, Wonder Woman. She was conceived to be an inspiration for girls - she would be strong like Superman, but she would combine the use of that strength with wisdom and love. The comic was immediately popular and became one of DC comics most successful during the 1940s. Marston's work as a Phd Psychologist also informed a belief in the goals of feminism, which he believed were important for improving the world. The quotes below reveal how his ideas closely reflect the feminism of Charlotte Perkins Gilman. " Marston also had quite radical ideas, especially for the time, about women's sexuality. In his book Wonder Woman: Bondage and Feminism in the Marston/Peter [the illustrator] Comics 1941-1948 Noah Berlatsky summarizes Marston's views: Many people find a lesbian subtext in the early Wonder Women comics and recently DC comics announced that Wonder Woman is canonically bisexual (see blog post Fluid Icons). Lesbianism was also present in Marston's unconventional family life. Byrne, who met Marston while attending university was invited to live with the couple to ostensibly raise their children so that Elizabeth could continue her career without interruption. Their relationship became polyamorous, including sex between the women and Olive would go on to have two children of her own with Marston. Another woman, Marjorie Wilkes Huntley, was also considered part of the family, although she did not live permanently with the Marstons; when Huntley resided at the home the threesome became a foursome. The complicated Marston relationships were a radical solution for building a family aligned with the goals of feminism - to allow Elizabeth Holloway to fulfill her full potential as a gifted attorney without having to sacrifice having her own children. Olive Byrne fulfilled her great talent and ambition to be an exceptional mother and she with Elizabeth allowed William to fulfill his potential in creating a superhero icon for women's rights that would have a significant and persisting impact on society. There was more, though, to their family structure than vocational goals - there was a deliberate attempt made to fulfill the women's sexual potential, which included having have sex with other women. Marsten family photograph (1947) - Standing: Byrne Marston, Moulton (Pete) Marston, Olive Byrne Seated: Marjorie Wilkes Huntley, Olive Ann Marston. William Moulton Marston, Donn Marston, Elizabeth Holloway Marston [Olive's children are Byrne and Donn; Elizabeth's children are Olive Ann and Pete] After William's premature death in 1947 (he was only 54) DC Comics hired another writer to continue Wonder Women stories but she drifted away from the feminist roots that Marston, Holloway and Byrne had planted and she became an unrecognizable shadow of her former self during the 1950s and 1960s. She was transformed into a figure that conformed to the status quo rather than one that championed for change. Holloway and Byrne remained together as a couple for the next 33 years until Byrne's death in 1980. In 1972 Gloria Steinem, who read Wonder Woman comics while growing up, chose her to be on the cover of the premier issue of Ms. Magazine thereby linking the 2nd wave of feminism of the 1970s to the 1st wave of the early 1900s. On Wonder Woman, Steinem is quoted as saying: In addition to the upcoming release of Wonder Woman there is a movie scheduled for release later in 2017 titled Professor Marston & the Wonder Women which will detail his unconventional life and the creation of Wonder Woman. It will be interesting to see if the full extent of the domestic and romantic arrangements that Marston, Holloway and Byrne lived with will be depicted in the movie. They were way ahead of their time socially and perhaps their free polyamorous bisexual lifestyle is still too risqué to portray even in our supposedly progressive and tolerant era. References: Melody Hour - Louis Icart Charlotte Perkins Gilman http:// https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlotte_Perkins_Gilman Herland, by Carlotte Perkins Gilmanhttp:// http://www.gutenberg.org/files/32/32-h/32-h.htm [Many of Charlotte's written works are available for free at gutenberg as they are 100 years old, or older] An online version is available at: http://hilobrow.com/2013/07/16/herland-1/ In addition, excellent audiobook versions are availble at youtube https://youtu.be/WJtrW-26NdI and Librivox http:// https://librivox.org/herland-by-charlotte-perkins-gilman/ On the Cliff (1910) - Charles Courtney Curran [1861 - 1942] The Last Amazon: Wonder Woman returns by Jill Lapore http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/09/22/last-amazon One less woman in politics: Wonder Woman loses job as UN ambassador https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/12/wonder-woman-un-ambassador-gender-equality Production Begins on Angela Robinson’s “Professor Marston and the Wonder Women” https://blog.womenandhollywood.com/production-begins-on-angela-robinsons-professor-marston-and-the-wonder-women-5f791bbcdd3 The Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lapore https://www.amazon.com/Secret-History-Wonder-Woman/dp/0804173400 [This excellent book focuses on the lives of the people who created Wonder Woman and those who influenced them. Highly reccomeded] The Surprising Origin Story of Wonder Woman by Jill Lepore http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/origin-story-wonder-woman-180952710/ Wonder Woman: Bondage and Feminism in the Marston/Peter Comics 1941-1948 by Noah Berlatsky https://www.amazon.com/Wonder-Woman-Bondage-Feminism-1941-1948/dp/0813564182 [Another excellent book that focuses on and analyses the content of the comics themselves] Wonder Women of History http:// http://womanwondrous.juliamichels.net/wonder-women-of-history/ [Included in every issue of the early Wonder Woman comics was a quite elaborate (for comics) mini-story about a famous and/or important woman from the past. This is a list of each person chosen. Bound to Blog - The Hooded Utilitarian http://www.hoodedutilitarian.com/2009/04/bound-to-blog-wonder-woman-1/ [This is a blog by Noah Berlatsky in which he blogs an in-depth analysis of every issue of the early Marston/Peter Wonder Woman No.1-28, Recommended if you are a nerd or fascinated by the feminist vision of Marston]
  6. Warning: Potential Spoilers Below!! When I learned that this was a Charlize Theoren movie I made plans to see it as soon as possible, and I did this past weekend. I loved her as Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road and I was expecting her to portray a cold, tough badass spy, like a female version of John Wick crossed with James Bond. She fulfilled those expectations brilliantly and her character, Lorraine Broughton, will become an icon for feminist badassery. Earlier this summer I was slightly disappointed that Wonder Woman had to be surrounded by helpful males in her quest to save the world. I was delighted to see that Lorraine didn't require male sidekicks; she is cunning, ruthless, relentless and fully capable to complete her missions on her own. I was expecting her to have a sexual relationship with another woman at some point during the movie but I was surprised by how it was portrayed. Her sexuality is vague with a suggestion of her being involved in the past with a male spy so when she gets involved with Delphine Lasalle (portrayed by Sofia Boutella), a French spy, we can conclude that she is bi-sexual, but sexual identities are never mentioned. Their attraction, and subsequent pleasure with each other is shown as unfolding naturally without the need for labels. The relationship between Lorraine and Delphine is more than raw passion and we see moments of vulnerability and tenderness unlike anything that we usually see between a conventional heterosexual couple in action movies. As this romantic sub-plot was being developed I found myself silently cheering them on and I fervently hoped the movie was about to undergo a radical genre change halfway through from action to romance (my hopeless romantic self being fully engaged) but alas, my hope went from full to less, as it usually does. Still I'm very encouraged by the way their relationship was developed and I see it as a very positive step towards fully normalizing attraction, love and sex between women on the big screen, and in our society. I really wanted and wished for a happy romantic ending in the movie but sadly that wasn't in the cards this time, perhaps I'll get that wish in a future movie (#HopelessRomantic).
  7. So about a year ago my older daughter and I went on Religion journey. We didn't find anything that sparked either her or my interest. But she has been asking again if she should be going to Church. There are several churches that are gay friendly in my town. A few even have rainbow flags outside with the rest of their banners. I would insist she attends a loving a tolerant church. Also I just watched L word Mississippi. Very interesting to see the dynamic of people accepting the gay side of them.. but also feeling like they are " living in sin." Anyway... How many of you are religious and practicing... in whatever way that means to you. Prayer, Church, Ceremony outside or inside, etc..... Im hoping this wont end up in the debatable topics.. Personally I strongly believe in a higher power and pray often for clarity, guidance, strength and courage. Though my higher power is not judgmental or conduct enforcing. Its an unconditional love kinda thing. Im hard enough on myself.
  8. Another thread reminded me of a discussion I've had many times in my past two relationships. Is dating someone of the same gender as your existing partner the same as dating someone of the opposite gender? Do you prefer one of each, if you are not exclusively monogamous? If you are in a heterosexual relationship, where you are allowed to date women, are you also allowed to date men? Is your husband allowed to date women? Opinions?
  9. Research focused specifically on women's sexuality is relatively recent compared with research on men's sexuality. Only since roughly 2000 have researchers begun asking the questions "what is the nature of women's sexuality?" and "how is it different from what we know of men's sexuality?". One of the most significant results of these investigations was the 2008 book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire by Lisa Diamond which brought attention to how women's sexuality can change over time. Diamond's work was qualitative and longitudinal - it was based on interviews of 100 women that she tracked for more than ten years as they emerged from adolescence into adulthood. She found that the women, as a group, exhibited a capacity for flexible erotic response which is triggered by situational and interpersonal factors, and which varies across individuals - some people exhibit a greater degree of fluidity, others less so. The above two sets of graphs from her paper "Female Bisexuality from Adolescence to Adulthood: Results from a 10-Year Longitudinal Study" illustrate the results of the study. She started with women who identified as being in three groups - lesbian, bisexual and unlabeled who all showed some degree of attraction towards women. Over time, at each interview interval she observed that a sizable percentage of the women would announce a switch from one type of identity to another - some even self-identified as heterosexual, a category that was absent from the women at the start of the survey. The graphs in Figure 2 are especially revealing of the change in the women - their attraction towards women has become less intense over the 10 years and a large percentage, over a third, are now having sex with men. The results are quite surprising because it had been believed that sexual orientation was basically biological in origin and highly resistant to change. In subsequent studies Diamond has broadened her focus to include men and heterosexual women to see if and how their sexual attractions and behaviour change over time. She used existing social surveys with much larger data sets, including the National Survey of Family Growth (US) and the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health (Aad Health, US) each of which features over 10,000 randomly chosen people. The data reveals that men also seem to exhibit some sexual fluidity but not to the same extent as that shown by women. What is really fascinating though is the data which shows the number of women who describe themselves as being attracted to "mostly the other sex". In the above slide Lisa is pointing to the "mostly other sex" bar that has gone off the chart. The graph represents data from the 2008 Wave 4 Aad Health Survey and indicates that about 15% of young women who were surveyed are mostly attracted to men, but have some level of attraction to women. The data from the preceding 2002 Wave 3 Aad Health Survey showed that number to be about 10%, which indicates an explosive growth over a very short 6-year time span. The next set of data, the Wave 5 set, is not due till 2018 but I suspect that it will show further increases in the category. The above slide shows the total amount of bisexual attraction for men and women over time; each bar in the graph represents the results from a major longitudinal study, and the black portion of the bars represents people who have indicated that their same sex attraction is exclusive, in other words exclusively gay or lesbian. The yellow portion indicates those that have any degree of non-exclusive same-sex attraction. One can easily see that same-sex attraction for men (the set of bars on the left) is stable over time, for both those that are exclusively gay or for those that are non-exclusive. The same is also the case for lesbians, but look at the yellow bars representing women who have non-exclusive attractions towards women; they are rising quickly over time. This is evidence that heterosexual women are also sexually fluid and that there is some kind of major change underway in our society. Lisa Diamonds' work has been followed by another type of research in women's sexuality that generates quantitative data from a laboratory setting. One of the leading researchers in this field is Dr. Meredith Chivers, a sexologist currently at the SAGE (Sexuality and Gender) Laboratory at Queen's University in Kingston,Ontario. Chivers uses various means to measure her subjects bodily responses to the depiction of sexual activity, one of which is vaginal photoplethysmography (a hard word to say!). It involves inserting a small tube inside the vagina which accurately measures the increase in blood flow in the walls of the vagina during sexual arousal. Chivers also gives her subjects a keypad which they use to indicate how aroused they feel during the course of the experimental session. One of the goals of her initial research was to see if the two measures of arousal - the objective measure of blood flow and the subjective measure of the participants would match, or in other words exhibit sexual concordance. Sexy, 90 second video segments are displayed to the women interspersed with neutral scenes of landscapes to return their state of arousal to a base level. Daniel Bergner, in his book, What Do Women Want? describes the content of the scenes: "A slender woman with a soft, oval face and dark, curly hair sat on the lip of a large tub. Her skin was tan, her areolas dark. Another woman rose from the water, her soaked blond hair raked behind her ears. She pressed her face between the brunette’s thighs and whisked with her tongue." "A woman with long black hair leaned forward on the arm of a lounge chair, her smooth buttocks elevated. Then she settled her light brown body onto the white upholstery. Her legs were long, her breasts full, high. She licked her fingertips and stroked her clitoris. She pulled her spread knees up. She handled one breast. Her hips began to grind and lift." "A man drove himself into the ass of another man, who let out a grateful moan; a woman scissored her legs in a solitary session of nude calisthenics; a bespectacled, sculpted man lay on his back and masturbated; a man slipped a woman’s black thong over her thighs and began with his tongue; a woman straddled another woman who wore a strap-on." The chart above shows the results for a study Chivers did in 2005 which is detailed in the paper "A Sex Difference in Features That Elicits Genital Response." This work provided evidence that women who prefer men, ie. heterosexual women, have a unique and non-specific genital response to all the types of depicted sexual activity. In other words, their genitals, as measured by blood flow, are turned on by anything sexual. The subjective response of heterosexual women though conforms more to their claimed orientation towards men although they do reveal arousal to non-preferred sexual stimuli (ie. to female-female sex) that is significantly greater than that for the other groups - gay men, straight men or lesbians. These results have been replicated by many other researchers since then using different types of sexual arousal measurement and different types of sexual stimuli (ie. audio narratives versus films). In a recent 2015 paper, "Straight but Not Narrow; Within-Gender Variation in the Gender-Specificity of Women Sexual Response" Chivers was interested in finding the differences in sexual response between the two groups of women that have been traditionally lumped together into the category "heterosexual". She separated those women into two narrower groups, those that were exclusively androphilic and those who were predominantly androphilic with some attraction towards women. Chivers was surprised to find that the latter group of women showed significantly more arousal, both genital and subjective to same-sex stimuli. The two graphs above show the results of a first study that used 90 second video clips as the sexual stimuli. A second study was done using audio narratives of sexual encounters instead of video and there was a difference in the subjective ratings of exclusively androphilic women who significantly preferred the narratives featuring men while predominantly androphilic women rated the male and female stimuli as equally arousing. The objective genital response for both groups showed the same non-specific pattern as in the first study. Dr. Meredith Chivers (seated centre) and the staff of the Sexuality and Gender (SAGE) Laboratory, Queen's University The scientific data seems to show that women's sexuality is comprised of two systems - a genital arousal system that is non-specific, at least in exclusively androphilic women and a subjective desire system that is influenced by multiple environmental and personal factors which can be influenced by the genital arousal system but can also suppress or diminish the signals from it. The rising numbers of women who are "mostly heterosexual" could be explained by a combination of women's non-specific genital arousal with the acceptance and increasingly positive portrayal of women having sexual and romantic relations with other women in our cultural media. Once an attraction to other women is subjectively acknowledged, it would be relatively easy for a woman today to enjoy and strengthen it through fantasies with masturbation, perhaps including the consumption of easily-found internet lesbian porn. As the number of women who are attracted to other women increases, and their level of desire increases, more women will have sex with each other, which will be reflected by our cultural media, creating a positive feedback loop to further encourage women to feel attracted to other women. We are living in a very exciting time for women, and if trends continue it will be easier for us to fulfill all our desires and to enjoy the full range of our sexual potential and capacity. References: The Mirror of Venus - Edward Burne-Jones (1833 - 1898) Daughters of the Mist - Evelyn de Morgan (1855 - 1919) Bergner, Daniel. What Do Women Want?: Adventures in the Science of Female Desire http://www.amazon.co...s/dp/0061906093 Chivers, Meredith L. The Specificity of Women Sexual Response and Its Relationship with Sexual Orientations: A Review and Ten Hypotheses. Archives of Sexual Behavior, January 10, 2017 Chivers, Meredith L., Katrina N. Bouchard, and Amanda D. Timmers. Straight but Not Narrow; Within-Gender Variation in the Gender-Specificity of Women Sexual Response. Available online at: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0142575 Chivers, Meredith L., and J. Michael Bailey. A Sex Difference in Features That Elicit Genital Response. Biological Psychology 70, no. 2 (October 2005): 115 20. Diamond, Lisa M. Female Bisexuality from Adolescence to Adulthood: Results from a 10-Year Longitudinal Study. Developmental Psychology 44, no. 1 (2008): SAGE - Sexuality and Gender Laboratory, Department of Psychology, Queen's University http://www.queensu.c...-and-gender-lab The Puzzle of Women's Sexual Orientation - Why Straight Sexuality Isn't so Straightforward in Women - a lecture by Meredith Chivers at the Who You Love Conference, 2012 Lisa Diamond. Just How Different are Female and Male Sexual Orientation? Cornell University, posted December 5, 2013. http://www.cornell.e...f-men-and-women Meredith Chivers Women's Sexuality Ban Righ Centre Talk, Queen's University, 2016 Meredith Chivers The Agenda with Steve Paikin, 2016 Lisa Diamond. Women's Same Sex Sexuality Over the Life Course, University of California Television, June 22, 2010
  10. I went to the strip club with my ex-husband and a group of friends last weekend. Had a blast and got my first lap dance (well, back-to-back dances). The aftermath of this is having to hear judgmental comments about how I looked while at the strip club. Being there in that environment is one of the few places where I can be me. Where I can let my hair down and show that side of me. When it comes to women, the only person who I'm very bluntly honest with is my ex-husband; I'm able to talk to him like I write on this forum (that, in itself, is a work in progress- understandably). The comments I've heard after the fact have been the following: You looked like a dog in heat. No offense to the kids on the little yellow school bus, but you looked like one of those children who drool. You were drooling all over her (the stripper who danced for me). You're hooked (on the strip club). You looked so desperate to rush to the stage and make it rain for that chick who danced for you. And things of that nature. I've never had so many comments geared to my romantic life until I expressed my interest in dating women. And I'm a little over it. I almost feel like some people in my life take too much of an interest re: that part of me. They've never spoken this way until now, when my feelings, interactions, and social situations surround my romantic same-sex feelings. I still have residual shame and guilt regarding how I feel, as evidenced by the fact that if I check-out a woman who I'm unsure is bi/gay, remorse inevitably ensues. For me, I don't find it appropriate to look at women unless I know they have an interest in women...that doesn't mean I don't do it, I fight myself w/it all the time because I know that the fall-out will be me, beating myself up for it. I just don't recall anyone saying much about my sexual preferences, before. I know that by opening myself up to this, as with anything, will come comments and judgments, but I've always been this way. So damn frustrating for me, because this has been anything but a walk in the park. I def need to make more bi/gay friends...
  11. I haven't found any threads addressing this topic and thought about putting in the independent women forum but think it can address topics for singles and married people. Poly people can have different kind of dating arrangements. Dating two people individually. Or couples seeking out a third. That is my recent experience and so I am going to look at that particularly scenario. I had a date with a married couple, which they both enjoyed. It is hard for them to find people they both like. And we went to a party together, so they enjoyed the threesome dynamic of both having a connection with me and each other. (triad) They said they had a great time and want to see me again next week. I have considered it as a option but do not want to commit. I would spend another evening with them, if I did not have a date with someone else new I would rather meet. There are two single guys I do like and want to go out with, so it would probably be only if this couple wanted me to see them on a night when other people were not free.... But then even though they knew I was travelling this week, they wanted to meet me spontaneously during the week, which felt like a little high pressure. So they both must really have a crush on me. When I gave a little push back, they told me they were considering that maybe a triad could work out between us. So this is where I want to explore this dating topic.... Because individually neither of them were my type. They were lovely people and we had a nice pleasant evening together and I felt comfortable. It was a good date, not a trainwreck, but I don't feel fireworks for either of them. And in a triad the relationships have to work in every combination not just a married couple being infatuated with the same person. I recognize it is probably difficult to find someone that is easy going and fits well within a couple. But I am not searching for a couple, plus they are the only couple I have ever been on a real date with. So I appreciate that. I can consider dating them like I would an individual, but then all of the same rules apply, except in double because I have to find two people both of whom I am attracted to, and I think that's a challenge... Any thoughts or experiences?
  12. As I explained in another thread, some weeks ago I had this sort of epiphany, awakening, call it whatever you like, when I realized I was probably bisexual. I was not questioning my sexuality at the moment, I just happened to read about bisexuality by chance, without even looking for it, and something clicked in my head. I looked back and immediately recognized a lot of moments in my life where I had been attracted to women or there was a sign of it. From that moment on, I couldn´t help thinking about women a lot and I started to notice them around me, in a way I had never done before, and I couldn´t help it. It´s like if all the repressed feelings suddenly had been liberated and were overwhelming me. I completely forgot about men for a lot of days. There is a colleague at work in particular. We got along well. Before this, I said to myself she was very nice and great in a friendly way. Now I understad I like her. I dont have any crush on her for the moment, but I definitely feel a lot of attraction and now I see it. Scary. Tonight I was having dinner, and I could not stop staring at the waitress. After that, I went to another place for some drinks and I saw another girl in the place. She had a very natural beauty, the way she moved, the way she was dressed, and she definitley had "something". I was infatuated and amazed at how much I liked her. What puzzles me is that this happened overnight. Had I seen those women a few weeks ago, I would have noticed them, but I would have said I was admiring their beauty, that I liked the way that girl was dressed, that the appeal they had was anything but sexual to me. A month ago, I did not even think that I could like my colleague. Now that I am aware of these feelings, they sime like a trillion times more intense than before. Sometimes I even think that this is some sort of auto-suggestion, that I am inciting myself to like women, because I do not understand how I couldn´t see this before. Or was I actually inciting me not to like them before? I guess it´s because everything is very recent and I am still a bit confused. Did this happen to any of you too when you realized or accepted you were bi? Is it usual to feel this way now? I would like to know your thoughts on this, especially of the ones that. like me, realized they were bi later in life.
  13. Does our media lead culture, or does the media finally catch up and begin to reflect the changes that have already taken place in the lives of women and men? Most likely it's an ongoing combination of both. When Katy Perry released "I Kissed a Girl" in 2008 the revolution in same-sex acceptance was well underway but the huge popularity of the song may have been a factor in getting some people in the "early majority" (see Waves of Change) to change their attitudes and join the revolution. The songs' message of experimentation and positive self-discovery probably had an ever greater effect on what I call the second wave of change - the acceptance of same-sex potential within ourselves. I heard an anecdote from someone who attended a Perry concert and she said a huge choir of young female fans joined Perry in belting out the songs chorus " ... and I LIKED IT!". Those girls in attendance who hadn't tried it yet probably moved closer to actually trying it after hearing (and perhaps participating in) that deafening endorsement. Katy Perrys' anthem was a huge hit (it charted on Billboard at No.1 for 7 consecutive weeks) and its lyrics were a direct and positive celebration of same-sex behaviour that society couldn't ignore. That kind of affirmation has been much slower to appear in movies and television, with a few notable exceptions in television series: Will and Grace which ran from 1998-2006 featured a gay main character and Buffy the Vampire Slayer in which main character Willow falls in love with Tara in season 4. Willow's coming out is especially noteworthy because she was previously in a relationship with a man and so her story is one of bisexuality and sexual fluidity. Willow was the first LGBTQ iconic character in pop culture but others have followed. J.K. Rowling announced in 2007 that Professor Dumbledore is gay and may be openly portrayed as such in a sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Another major iconic character that was recently revealed (2014) to be LGBTQ after the fact was Korra from the hit teen animated show 'The Legend of Korra' which is a sequel to the acclaimed series 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. In the final moments of the series finale best friends Korra and Asami appear to leave through a spirit portal as romantic lovers. This interpretation was confirmed by the shows creators afterwards, and it is quite a big deal because of the stature of the show(s) - Avatar is ranked at #15 in IMDBs' top 250 TV shows of all time and Korra is ranked #160. Korra is shown being interested in men earlier in the series, so her story could also be considered one of bisexuality and fluidity. The comic book industry has also been revealing that some major characters are bisexual. DC Comics has announced that Batman villians Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn and Catwoman are all canonically bisexual with the added label of non-monogamous added to Ivy and Harley, which one supposes will give their writers more flexibility in plot creation. DC has announced that all three will probably appear in a Harley Quinn movie that is being planned for 2018 after the success of the Suicide Squad movie in 2016 in which she appeared. There is some speculation that at a minimum Harley and Ivy will be portrayed as lovers which would be a first for a mass market major motion picture. DC surprised many this past September when they announced that their premier female superhero Wonder Woman is also canonically bisexual. Those familiar with her backstory were not especially surprised however since she has always been portrayed as originating from an all-female society of Amazon warriors that live together on Themyscira (Paradise Island). It follows logically that the women there must have romantic relationships with each other and since Diana (Wonder Woman's actual name) is from there it is perfectly natural and normal for her to desire other women. DC and Warner Brothers are releasing a Wonder Woman movie in June, the first major motion picture starring a female super hero, and they are unlikely to add any controversy to such an important and high stakes production so we probably won't see her bisexuality revealed this time. I think it is likely though that we will see female romantic couples in the background on Themyscira especially after DC's bisexuality announcement in September. If they don't portray female couples it would seem like a sin of omission and perhaps a slight to the LGBTQ community and they will probably want to avoid that risk. Walt Disney Studios is already seeing the start of a controversy about one of their most popular animated characters, Elsa from Frozen. There has been a spirited campaign on the internet to convince Disney that it is time to have a beloved princess fall in love with another princess, and one young woman, Alexis Isabel Moncada created a twitter hashtag to promote the idea - #GiveElsaAGirlfriend. Alexis explained why she did it in a letter she wrote: Her words are heartfelt and convincing and many on the internet will rally to her cause; Idina Menzel, the actress/singer who was the voice of Elsa has confirmed her support for Elsa having a girlfriend in Frozen 2. Disney is also feeling pressure from another direction - GLAAD (formerly Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) who gave them a failing grade in their 2016 Studio Responsibility Index, which measures the quantity, quality and diversity of LGBTQ people portrayed in motion pictures. Disney will face a significant backlash from social conservatives though if they do give Elsa a girlfriend and that would affect them financially. On the other hand they have a fantastic opportunity to give young girls and society an icon with an enduring message of tolerance, openness and acceptance. They appear to be approaching the horns of a dilemma and It will be interesting to see how things unfold. I think the Waves of Change will continue regardless of how Disney acts but I'm pretty sure the speed of change will increase if Elsa becomes an icon for same-sex love. Someday, sooner or later we will see a Disney princesses movie with a closing scene like this: References: The Huntress - Julius Leblanc Stewart [1855-1919 ] (Artemis, Goddess of the Moon, Hunting, Wild Animals, Children and Birth is the one standing, holding a bow. She is standing vigilant guard as protector of the Nymphs who are urging her to join them in play. I suspect she was part of the inspiration for Wonder Woman) I Kissed a Girl - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia...I_Kissed_a_Girl Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia..._Vampire_Slayer Korra and Asami, Lesbians? or Bi? - from Avatar Wiki http://avatar.wikia..../Thread:1296798 'The Legend of Korra' Creators Confirm "Subversive" Series Finale Relationship http://screencrush.c...-series-finale/ IMDB Charts - Top 250 TV Shows of All Time http://www.imdb.com/...ptv?ref_=tt_awd Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy may be Girlfriends in New Film 'Gotham City Sirens' http://www.lgbtqnati...am-city-sirens/ Catwoman is Officially Bisexual http://www.theverge....dc-comics-lgbtq Wonder Woman is Bisexual DC Comics Confirms http://www.maxim.com...bisexual-2016-9 Public Gathering on Themyscira - From Wonder Woman Earth One by Grant Morrison Will Wonder Woman be the Movies' First Queer Superhero? https://www.theguard...rhero-dc-comics Gal Gadot Wants Catwoman Acrtress Halle Berry to Play Her Wonder Woman 2 Lesbian Lover http://www.express.c...-Berry-Catwoman (this isn't a reference I used above but I included it as a juicy reward for people who look at references ) Why I Created the Trending #GiveElsaAGirlfriend Hashtag http://www.mtv.com/n...m=share_twitter Love Should be an Open Door - Idina Menzel Wants to Give Elsa a Girlfriend in Frozen 2 https://moviepilot.com/posts/3944383 2016 GLAAD Studio Responsibility Index http://www.glaad.org/sri/2016 "And They Lived Happily Everafter" (Princesses) - Jose Rodolfo Loaiza Ontiveros https://www.flickr.c...rodolfo_loaiza/ (It would be an interesting mash-up of plots to get Ariel (The Little Mermaid) together with Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) but I'm sure Disney would be able to figure it out, and if they did we might get to see this also:
  14. I drew this thinking sometimes how bisexuality feels to me. Watching two directions, sometimes in harmony and sometimes not, feeling sometimes two, sometimes one.