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Found 52 results

  1. I often feel worse when I go back on dating sites. Before signing up, I’m hopeful that this time around, I’ll find someone to connect with. Then I get on, it’s okay for about a day, and then I get bummed out allllll over again. How’s it going for everyone else? Have you met someone recently? Any dates?
  2. So I've been following one of my favorite queer youtubers Ari Fitz for a while and she posed a very good question. How do you prefer to be approached? Often we're used to feeling uncomfortable when being apprached, so a lot of the time we try to make sure that when we're approaching someone to avoid making it weird, creepy or uncomfortable. With that in mind, sometimes we might meet someone who we think is just being nice but they're actually trying to send signals. So is there an opportunity for us to be more assertive? In what way? I'm really curious about your experiences of some really good and bad times a woman has approached you, your preference on how you like being approached and some do's and don'ts. Alright and go! Happy Holidays
  3. I am fairly new to the world of dating men and women in real life. I have online flirted/ had cyber sex/ phone sex/ online relationships with both males and females. And for some reason the guys and girls i like live in continents far from me. I live in Australia and the girl and boy who like me live in the UK and the US. It might be that im shy to meet dates initially in real life. Im from a south asian background so having same sex attraction had been a bit taboo although my brother and his gf are supportive of me. Ive only had physical relations with a female because of opportunity and also i find it easier to form a romantic/emotional connection with females. I think i am bi and i hope i am because i would find it hard to come out to people as gay although i know quite a few gay south asians. I do have attraction to guys but i like females more. So i had known this bisexual guy since 2015 online. We had chatted on and off but it never seemed like it would go anywhere. In 2017 i was in the US on the west coast. We had a chance to meet up. He is from NY. He was unable to meet. He emailed me again this yr out of the blue. He said there was an illness in the family and he lost his email password. We started talking and we found we had a lot in common. He wants to take the next step and commit. So he says. I have told him i have a gf since mid 2017 although it is long distance. That he had a chance earlier but he disappeared. He does not see this as a problem and he is ok with each of us having same sex partners if we marry. Not sure how my british gf will live in the US. He does communicate and reply to messages. But they are more direct and to the point. He doesnt use endearing terms for me like my gf or have that warmth. He has a good job in the US and would not want to relocate. With guys i feel like maybe it would be easier when it comes to society, it would be easier to have children in the future and wont have to keep coming out. But at this stage i know i dont have that emotional connection to him. I met my british gf online in mid 2017. We chatted constantly for 9 months. She didnt disappear or ghost me. She has written poems for me and made bday/valentines day videos. If i ask her something she does it. She took 14 weeks out of her job to visit me in Australia when i was working in a rural town. The bi guy has said he can try to visit me on his trip to asia but has not made any definite plans. She made me breakfast, lunch and dinner each day. When i was tired she did my washing and laundry. I visited her in the Uk. She said she will follow me wherever i am and can move to australia. My family got to know her. While my brother and his gf are accepting my dad has not warmed up as much. I convinved him to support same sex marriage but i guess its different when its your own child. My grandmother and my mother's sister all love her as my friend. Basically they are my only relatives in australia. She is a lesbian but knows that i am bi and i had thought of marrying a guy. She said she can only love me and i am the first girl she has loved and she just wants to be part of my life in any way. Knowing that i could marry another must hurt her in some way and i dont know if i can hurt her when my connection to her is stronger. Ive not got to have physical relations with the bi american guy but i feel safe in my british gfs cuddles and embrace. And in her kisses and touch. She had said she never thought of having children as she never thought she would find someone she could have it with. But she wants to have my children and have children that have my features. If we all lived in the same country i am sure we could figure out an arrangement. At the same time though the bi guy in this situation is understanding i feel like my gf would make more sacrifices and compromises so we can be together. She has said she will be there with me no matter what. I told her i want to write erotic stories. She said its fine for me to do that and chat online as long as i come back to her. Im curious to know if people have different criteria/expectations dating women vs men. Do you look for the same things in both men and female or does what you look for depend on gender? Eg someone loving, caring, passionate lover, good sense of humour and someone you could spend your life with. If you had this same dilemma would you choose the guy or the girl? Sometimes i wish i was caucasian and from a progressive/liberal family where all couples were considered equally worthy. My head and heart are thinking different things.
  4. I recently started to dip my toes back into the dating waters. I an 46 and wow, just wow. For the record, I live in a small town so the dating pool is fairly limited with single people in my age range. I have been laying low with women and have gone out on dates with men--both younger and older than me. It has been tough and a bit disheartening. I am trying to keep an open mind but at least, I have figured it out pretty quickly that these dudes had issues and did not waste my time. This applies to both men and women but if you are single and in the 40s-50s plus age range, have you found it difficult to meet new people and date? I did the online dating scene in my 30s but do not want to dabble with online dating, even though I personally know people who had good luck with it and met their partners/spouses through dating sites. It is also scary and I tend to be paranoid and overly cautious but there are some freaky people out there. I thought folks would be more settled, secure and happy in their 40s-50s plus but not so much. I have encountered a lot of weird, dark energy lately. I would love to hear from single women in the 40s-60s age range as to what your dating experiences have been like. Is it just me or is it tough? Thanks for sharing!
  5. Hey lovely people, I really need some guidance and I don’t really have anyone to talk to that totally understands my situation. Which brings me back here to you lovely people. About this time last year I wrote a post about me being married and crushing on a woman. I no longer have feelings for that person but I do for someone else. So, the new situation is that I am crushing again on another woman, this time feelings are mutual. This woman came into my life about 4 weeks ago and I felt an instant conection to her. She was new in town and she introduced herself to me. She had no friends or family in the area so I offered to show her around town and she accepted my offer. I added her on social media and we exchanged phone numbers and things just escalated from there. I spent a whole 9 hours with her, which included her coming to our place, officially meeting my teenage girls and my husband, interacting with our animals and even having dinner with us. The following day she openly admitted that - as wrong as it sounded - she would like to be more than friends, but expected it not to be possible due to me being married and with a family. She felt bad hitting on a married woman, but I happily excepted. With that, I told my husband, and I had my first ever encounter with another woman - I liked it very much. Since then we have seen each other a few times and things have become kinda difficult. My feelings for this woman have become quite strong and I miss being around her and she misses me. She is in the navy and originally from Melbourne. She was recently transferred to our local HMAS here in NSW, so, she could be called out to sea at any given time and eventually return back to Melbourne when shes completed her service. We had a long chat last night about different things, which has helped a little, but I’m still afraid of falling in love with her and then possibly losing her, but at the same time i’m also affraid of hurting my husband in the process. She is only interested in women, she hasnt ‘come out’ to her close friends or family but has told a couple of people (that she can trust) about us. Im ‘out’ to just about everyone including my close friends, my husband and kids, but not to the rest of my family. Is there anyone out there in a similar situation that could shed some light on this subject? What do you call this type of relationship? What should we call “us” as a couple? Thanks in advance.
  6. Grrrrr! So frustrating! WTH am I doing wrong?! I’ve seen girls with pics of themselves in thongs, bikinis, pasties... I don’t have anything remotely similar and yet I keep getting banned Anyone else experience this problem?!
  7. Has anyone here used Craigs list personals in the past for dating ? I know they closed the site down ....but does has anyone found a alternative other then pof ..okcupid , ect ? I found a few great women on Craig's list opposed to the others . I believe it was because it allowed women that were afraid to put a pic up or something < a avenue to search anonymously ....And I found some normal awesome women that way through the years ....suggestions ???
  8. I met a woman through a meet-up group. Very lovely, pretty girl. We have so much in common and have been talking for days straight, but, we're so very different. She talks of casual dating, which I don't do and I don't have the time for. She was recently dating one woman, but that fell through; all of the women she's seriously dated are "tom boys," which I am not. During our convos, she mentions that she's limiting herself in terms of dating because of her "high standards." Huh? With guys, this was NEVER talked about. I never have had this experience with a guy. They never discussed other women with me or what they were doing to actively limit themselves from the dating pool. I overlook it, maybe she's just different. Mind you, through out our convos, when she puts up a boundary and says she is or isn't some way or into something, I respect it. I get it. Today, we were talking about the same damn thing. About how she wouldn't lower her standards for any girl. I recommended dating sites to her, to which she refused and said it had to happen organically. At this point, I totally feel like a friend. I mean, I'm talking to you like I"m your buddy. WTH? Why are we even talking about this when we should be getting to know each other (and this has happened every day we've spoken). I feel like if she's going to talk to me like a friend, I'm going to lower my expectations of her and treat her in kind. I tell her, "She's out there for you. I know it. And I also know that you and I are going to make such good friends." I wasn't being bitchy. We do have a lot in common and as she's done to me, I wanted to assert that boundary. Her reply was: WTH? What just happened? Did you totally just friendzone me? Well that's a first! And a bunch of laughing smiley faces. I told her, "I'm into you, but the way you're speaking to me has me feeling we're just on two different pages." Last text from her: Wow. Okay. Well nice getting to know you. Take care of yourself. Be well." And now I"m totally triggered because a woman that royally screwed me over (and I allowed it to happen, completely) said the SAME EXACT THING. "Be well." And then a few hours later, she'd come back and I'd do it all over again. I'm so new to knowing what I like and don't like. What's acceptable and what's not. What feels good and what feels bad. Part of this was me; for sure... but is it the norm for women to talk about other women while actively pursuing you or is this what I'm attracting into my life. She's a lovely person. That's too bad. I asserted my own boundary (total "therapy" talk) and she didn't want that. It was too confusing; we were texting all day and talking (which, to be honest, had me distracted from things I should be doing). Back to the drawing board.
  9. I run into many "what would you do" questions while in the dating world. Rather than create different threads, will just put in this one So new scenario (I'm really trying to get out of "hermit" mode and back into dating).: Talking to a woman now who fits well with me on paper. Verified her and everything. Seems normal (so far), arranging an actual date, etc. BUT this is the second time she's called herself ugly. The first time, she said she's not nearly as pretty as I am, Okay, we have an exchange about that. Now she's done it again and a similar exchange: Her: Us ugly people are usually pretty funny. Me: (Trying to be light hearted) I think you just want to hear me compliment you... Her: I don't need anyone to compliment me. I'm intelligent, strong, and capable! This throws me off. I'm recovering from PTSD and all that jazz, so my radar is wonky. I'm always second-guessing these situations and my friends tell me I"m too analytical for my own good. But this exchange makes me go: huh? When we started talking I asked her what her nickname is and she said my friends call me "Kitty or Beautiful." So what the hell are the ugly comments about? I haven't responded. It feels so awkward to segue into something else... And she is very, very pretty. She hangs out with a lot of masculine looking women, so she def stands out in the group- all dolled up and flawless make-up. Leaves me shrugging my shoulders.
  10. I got engaged to my boyfriend recently. There were some issues before that were worked out. I told him I was bisexual and monogamous. I explained it to him and thought that was the end of that. Turns out he didn’t understand it. He seems to be trying but nothing I say seems to be able to make him understand that I, being bi, could be married to him without absolutely having to having to have a girlfriend. And I don’t know how to explain it to him. I would really appreciate some help.
  11. So I just ended a potential relationship with a woman I have been dating for the past couple of months and just wanted to share my story with you all as I traverse the recovery process. There is always a recovery process we seem to journey through no matter the length of the relationship, and the length we spend in the getting over it phase varies for me always! Just a brief background on myself...I've been married for 19 years, have two kids and started my divorce process two years ago which the state still has not granted thanks to the help of our useless attorneys! I use to consider myself bi for many years until the pendulum made a full swing to the left and now consider myself lesbian. I have been dating, and in and out of relationships with women for the past few years and like most of you know it is very challenging! I prefer to give time for healing in between each relationship, and usually wait about a year before I open myself up to it. So this spring I joined one paid for dating site and one free one, just to see who was out there. I spoke to a few ladies, but most of them would disappear from the conversation after about a week, and it's a great way to learn how to not take things personally as this is so common! Then one night on the free one I saw a really beautiful woman who wrote "looking for someone to build a life with", and many other happy things. She also wrote she takes care of her disabled adult son so it be a two person package. We both liked each other and started texting then talking on the phone. It turned out she was on a road trip out of state with her disabled son to "find herself". After a few weeks of talking and emailing we met up. She told me that she had been seeing a poly woman in another state for a little over a year and was being repeatedly hurt by this woman sleeping with other men everytime she wasn't visiting her, even though she went into the relationship knowing that was the agreement. (The first red flag) It sounded more like an emotionally abusive relationship as this woman would offer her sex every few months after being begged for it, then tell her thanks for reminding her why she prefers men. (Weird) She said she didn't want to hurt me but her heart was still weak getting over this woman and she wanted to take things slow. I agreed to that. She ended up staying with me and my kids on and off for a few weeks while she was visiting family up and down my state. I even met some of them. She is a very caring woman and attends to her son around the clock. I learned a lot about compassion from witnessing the level of care to him, and my kids and I learned a lot about being compassionate to the disabled while he was also here..just something I never thought about. Anyway, we got very close and had a lot of fun together while she was here, (we also had a lot of sex) but then she told me the other poly woman had been begging her to come back. She said she had promised to stop there on her way back home and take care of this woman's (ranch) for a week. (Second red flag) So she did just that and texted and video chatted with me while she was there. She told me she told the woman all about me, and that she was seeing me and planning some trips with me. She said the woman kept telling her she wanted her to be happy and follow her heart, and that she can talk as long as I want to me while she was staying there on her ranch. But then she said the woman was sad, crying on and off fearing she'd slowly loose her. After a week she returned home and we continued to video chat everyday for weeks. I felt so happy talking with her everyday. She sent some lovely earrings to both my daughter and I. Then out of nowhere she told me she was going back to that woman's ranch for the weekend to help out with some goats or somthing. I was really upset. In fact I wrote her a long heartfelt message after getting off the phone with her that I felt like I was being used as a backup plan, or as a means to make this woman jealous, and just did not understand why after this woman kept hurting her repeatedly why she would go back to her. She would go to this ranch that the poly woman's ex boyfriend's family owned and clean her house, mend fences, mow lawns etc. and I just did not understand it! She told me that she is not yet willing to give up the friendship she has with this woman as there is still a lot of "love" there and she adores how much she dotes over her handicap son. Plus she loves working on the ranch. And that she wants to remain single, continue to get to know me and when her heart is healed and ready be open to a commitment. She said we should take a little break, and I said fine. But, she kept flirting and sexting me every night! So Memorial day comes and she told me she was still on the ranch and that she'd head home sometime during the week after she got the goat pen ready and picked up the goats. I asked her if she was planning on moving there and she said "no". I asked her when are we going to talk again (we had only been texting) or if she even wanted to. She waited two days to respond at 2:30am "I do want to talk". So I sent her a picture reading "call me". No response for 3 more days. (all sorts of red flags dropping out of the sky!) Now it's the weekend and I'm having my sister in law read all our texts to help me figure it out..just as my sister in law was telling me how confused she was the gal starts texting me "your looking gorgeous" out of nowhere!!!! So I call her up and she answers and we have a sort of ok catching up talk. I asked her if she was still planning to visit me for two weeks in July and she said "yes if I still want her to". Then the next day I get a long email from her talking about feeling suffocated, and how her freedom is so important to her. The poly woman she's been staying with is still important to her, but she thinks and dreams of me day and night...and how beautiful I am. But she does not want to commit and wants me to decide if I'm willing to be her fwb, or if I want to pursue her knowing that she is not ready to commit. I'm pulling my hair out over her wishy washy ness!!!! So I said "call me now"..she responded "I will but her ex is lecturing her on her principles right now". An hour goes by and she finally videos me. I tell her I don't understand any of this, how am I suffocating her so much if she is the one who has been sending gifts and doing the majority of the communications. I told her I'm sick of her being so unclear and that I do not understand this relationship with this poly woman who she keeps going back to after saying they were working on their friendship. I asked her flat out "are you fucking her?' She told me yes that after this last visit they were intimate. I told her it's over with us, and that she is a liar, has been leading me on and is a person with zero integrity for herself or others. She just kept saying how sorry she was. I hung up on her, but before I blocked her I stooped pretty low telling her what a slut I think she is, and she'll most likely get a disease from this other woman...you'll end up used and alone and to stay away from me and my children as I do not want them to learn what a pathetic person she really is. I never stoop that low and go off on anyone no matter how pissed or hurt I am so that was the first. I take full responsibility for not following my gut feelings and for ignoring all these red flags. Many of my friends kept telling me to just give her time, but not being in my shoes or seeing the big picture they were only trying to support me the best way they could. In retrospect I felt worried, and uncomfortable more days then I did happy with her. Now I'm questioning myself why did I hold onto this situation? I even ignored a tarot card reading that said "lies, deception, and escape" as to how she viewed me! I kept hoping she'd get over this woman, and when she'd come visit and spend time with me it will all work out. But instead she was trying to lure me into some poly love triangle after I told her repeatedly I'm monogamous and she said so was she... I'm in a difficult time of my life having a hard time with my job, waiting for the divorce to finalize, being in debt and selling my house with no idea where the kids and I will move to next. It was I know a bad time to open myself up to look for a relationship, because perhaps if I was in a better position in my life I would not have let things go on like I did with the woman. I had asked the universe to send me someone filled with love, as all I wanted was to feel some love and be held. I got just that, only problem is she loves more than just me, she loves this poly woman and lives with another ex gf who is just friends. She has boundary issues and well, reflected back to me my own boundary issues. Sometimes I believe life is so much easier when we are single and not out looking for love. But then when we are in relationship, or even just dating, that is the time we learn so much about ourselves (or don't) and we can grow from these experiences. It is just that it can be so painful at times!
  12. This has been my conclusion over the past few months, regardless of gender. I have found that there are so many dishonest people online and it is difficult to sift through and find the genuine ones. It's like every time I seem to connect with someone, even if it progresses to steady dating, I find out that there is something they've lied about that is an absolute deal breaker for me (e.g. unemployed, married). It got to the point of where I was extremely guarded with anyone, and I hate being that type of person :( What say you ladies? Do you agree or disagree? Have any experiences to share?
  13. I thought I'd create this topic for all of us single who find it hard to meet a woman. I'll start. Well, the title explains it all. Yesterday I went to a festival and a (much) older guy said near me and struck the conversation with me right away (he didn't leave me alone the whole evening). I enjoyed the festival a lot but when he felt more familiar with me, he spread his legs so widely, I had not much place left for myself. Then he asked me out for a drink, I did, the night was young and I didn't have to go home. He made me all those compliments blabla but all I was thinking...damn, I wish it was a woman. I felt zero attraction for him and I didn't want to come out to him. Anyway, to cut the long story short it made me once again think how easy it is to meet a straight man and how hard a woman. Especially here. I live in a big city with lots of people but my luck with meeting one equals -1 and on the eve of my my birthday I feel down. Please, share your stories ladies
  14. My male best friend says that he cannot open up to me and that I'm very judgmental. He says he cannot be truthful about the women he's talking to and therefore, holds back a lot. His situation: He was recently fired from his job. Stays at home all day while living w/his parents and admittedly, spends most of his day on dating sites. Most of his conversations revolve around the women he's talking to. Sometimes I find myself wondering if they are really women, just because I've been catfished. He rarely meets many of the women he talks to (online). He's gone w/me to meet-up groups and he barely says a word to anyone else besides me. I'm trying to be there for him and get him acclimated to meeting people in person (this also helps me make new acquaintances). When he talks to a woman on the regular, he'll ask me for my opinion. My opinion is that now is not the time for a relationship (given his situation), but that it doesn't hurt to talk to people. I try to steer him towards other topics, like a dream that he wants to accomplish or going to the gym, but he's really obsessed w/the topic of dating. This morning he told me that he can't really talk to me. I told him I did listen to him in those months in the very beginning, but that now it's all he wants to talk about. When we're out, he's usually on his phone on a dating site. He's been on multiple sites for a year and a half now. I do ask him for more info about these women he's talking to. Most of them are older women w/children (he doesn't have any) and some of them seem to raise red flags (they ask him to move in together, maybe after a date or two). I don't really know how to discuss the topic w/him anymore. I gave him my honest view of it today, that I think in general it's fine to get to know people, but that with the limitations of his situation, it's prob not the time for a serious relationship (which is what he's pining after). His response was, "See, why do you think I'm not ready? Why do you get to say when I'm ready?!" He also doesn't tell these ladies the truth about his situation, that he's unemployed and living w/his parents while getting back on his feet. I know he's very lost and confused and the addiction to the dating site is a distraction from what's really going on, but if I broach those topics or ask him to see a therapist, he becomes angry and immediately shuts down. I don't know what to do. I feel like talking to him about what now seems to be an obsession would only enable him. I also want to be a good friend, one who listens w/o judgment, but also has their highest good in mind. I'm not sure what the right thing to do is...
  15. Hey everyone, I was just wondering if anyone knew any good online dating websites that are good for married women to look for other married women? They used to go to Craigslist, but that's been shut down and I'm not sure where to look. Okcupid is singles and couples, but not just married women looking to be one on one. Any advice appreciate
  16. Just needed some advice. So I've been out for almost two years now but I haven't really dated all that much. I recently went to a bi event in my town and met this beautiful woman. We chatted a bit but I never got up the nerve to ask her out before I left. It got me thinking about how I never can "seal the deal" and I think it stems from getting brutally shot down by the first woman I was ever interested in. I think I hold on to that but I can't figure out how to move past it. Has anyone ever struggled with something like this and if so how did you get passed it?
  17. A lot of people like myself like to say that we don't have a type. Honestly, I've been pleasantly surprised by unexpected crushes and like to keep an open mind because of that. As a pretty inexperienced baby bi who is freshly getting into this dating game, mostly online dating I've noticed that although I have an open mind, there are some big Deal Breakers for me. -racist or prefers not to date certain races -smokers. No shade but I've had some really rough experiences being asthmatic, so smoking would really suck -rude or arrogant -no ambition, dreams or goals for their ljfe I feel like there might be more but those are the ones that would get a hard no from me Let's start a conversation, what are your deal breakers/turn offs?
  18. For those of you who have been in a relationship with another woman, what's the most romantic thing you've done? My ef girlfriend lived 40 - 60 mins from me when we were dating. I would make this drive an deliver a single rose to her door. Not just one rose. I wanted her to collect a bouquet. She is German, so I hand wrote German poems by Goethe and attached them to the rose. When she asked me if I knew anything about it, I refused to acknowledge anything. But then when I visited her on the weekend, there they were sitting in a vase. She loved it. I invited her to go to a White party with me where I introduced her to my circle of friends. She sent me pictures asking me which dress I thought she should wear. I went on J. Crew website and ordered and had a dress delivered to her door which perfectly matched her personal style. It arrived during the day just before she was set to leave from work and come to my house to get ready for the party. The look on her face when she pulled it out from her bag and how much she loved it was priceless. Anyone else gone to great lengths?
  19. Oh dear... Someone flirts with you outrageously. Arranges to meet you then cancels. Sent a couple of chatty texts but no replies so time to knock any ideas of that one on the head. lord knows what I’ve done. No point even trying to wonder... sucks pretty badly but no reply is a message in itself... they just aren’t that in to me. Ah ok... lol
  20. Well, today I found out that my Girlfriend was already dating a guy before I even got the chance to tell her that I think we should be friends. Wow! I'm not hurt but pissed now. She lead me to believe she was interested in a monogamous relationship with me. She even sat me down to tell me what she was "about." Meaning not dating more than one person at a time. She said she had " been with women" but not had a relationship with one but, that she really vibes with me and that it wasn't about what someone had between their legs for her but, what they felt. But then, when I'd try to ask her out, after we had been intimate, she was always busy. I had started to pick up signs that she wanted out but wasn't woman enough to admit it. So, that's why I ended it. Now she's following me around like a lost puppy, not because she wants me back but, because we work together and she doesn't want me mad or drama at work. She's afraid I'll post the many nude photos of herself that she sent me in the short time we dated. Sigh, I hope most women aren't like her. If they are, I'd rather be alone. 1
  21. Well, I talked to my girlfriend and told her that, I think being friends is better for she and I. She agreed. I wanted to do this before we started to get angry and end up not liking each other at all. She was nervous that I wouldn't be okay with it. I told her, I was fine. I'd rather be by myself than with someone who wasn't really into me anyway. I knew she didn't want to continue as a couple but was afraid I'd be upset.. She was hanging out with friends and when I'd ask her about going out....she was always busy. No one is always busy. That just means...they don't have time for you. Narrow their options by giving them one less option. I respect myself too much to beg for someone's attention. And, I've been down that road where you care and feel deeply for someone that doesn't feel the same. Life is too short to waste your time on people who can't give you any of theirs. Like I said in one of the forum posts, I don't have a problem being single. It doesn't bother me. If the truth be told, it's hard for me to have someone in my life because I'm quite satisfied all by myself. So when I do spend time with someone, that means I've made you and our relationship a priority. That means, you are important to me. I'm only asking for the same in return, that is...if I mean anything at all to you.
  22. I thought this thread could be a place for single people to post their dating adventures. And I can start with my latest weekly adventure.... I have had this flirty friend who seems to be at least bicurious. This week we met up at an art opening for wine. Also, I had chatted with a girl on tinder who seemed super interested. And the evening begins. My flirty friend who last time talked about orgasms and wanted me to share her bottle of merlot... joined me for an art opening to continue our conversation. We met up at the art space. She ran into another woman she knew, who had an awesome hairstyle and sexy aura. Later, my flirty friend made the comment that she knew her from dancing... and "if she were gay" would be into the way she moved... sounds like it's on her mind, but she has inhibitions. So perhaps if we keep hanging out, we can explore further. But it relieved the awkward tinder/ sms conversation I had with this Tinder woman. So she super-liked me, and I asked her if she was free to hang out Saturday. She said she had to work in the evening but wanted to hang out earlier in the day. Since my flirty friend and I were supposed to get together Friday, and she wanted to go to a salsa party, I wasn't sure I'd be moving in the early part of the day..... When I told the Tinder woman, she said she was working at the same club as the salsa party. So awkward. If there was anything that was going to happen with flirty friend, I wasn't sure about how to work around that if I went to this club where the Tinder woman worked. But I guess after my flirty friend made it clear nothing was going to happen quickly there, it kind of made things less awkward. But I actually found out about a business party at ANOTHER club, except that it was raining. So my flirty friend did not want to bike to the other club in the rain and then get wet again going to the club with the salsa party. She preferred to go straight to the club with the salsa party where the woman from Tinder worked... and dry off before her salsa party started. So the Tinder woman wanted me to come by to see her at work, and it just happened that my other friend dragged me into the club way before the party started. We were talking pretty intensely about an issue I'm dealing with in my life. But then her (male) salsa parten came in so it looked like hey were together. I was looking around for the Tinder woman, and thought maybe I could tell which of the staff was her, but not to be sure. As soon as the guy arrived, she came to our table and got our drinks. She sent me a message on Tinder she thought she saw me. It gave me butterflies a little. I haven't dated a woman in several years. I am still talking to guys also, but why not? Go out with her, and guys and see what clicks?
  23. I started dating after five years of not having, not a single solitary date. I have a hard time approaching a woman. You never know if she's into women or not. Well, my current Girlfriend, (she's not really) found me. she was hired at my job. I know. I know. I have the same rule about not dating a co-worker. Well she pursued me.. She figured out my Kryptonite...she asked me out for a beer. I said, "Yes" what could it hurt? Well, let me explain something to you, I haven't been out on a date in 5 years, we are drinking 13% alcohol content beer, She is 26, redhead, (red hair is my other Kryptonite BTW. Maybe it has something to do with my huge crush on Kate Kane, Batwoman)., she has slate grey eyes, pouty soft lips and perfect breast. I could go on...but you get the picture. Well, instant attraction on my part. And she's fun and adventurous. Down right perfect....but, there's a catch. Yep, there's always a catch. We dated for about two months. Texting here and there, calling occasionally and going out. I even invited her over to my house. That's something I never do. We even....yeah, we did that. Fast forward to one week ago, She gets a phone call from her "BFF" or former "BFF" and she says her friend needs her. She drops everything, arranges for someone to work for her, buys a plane ticket, and breaks our plans to bring in the New Year, and is gone...just like that. No hesitation. So, at this moment, my "girlfriend" is driving cross country from Seattle to North Carolina. So that you get the whole picture. I can't get this girl to text/call me with any consistency. It's like a week to a week and a half where we have to plan to go to the damn movies or out to dinner because, she's so tired, or going home to visit parents and family, or doing whatever else. So, last night,, as I lay in my bed with a bottle of merlot, with my dog and cat...it finally hit me. I wasn't her girlfriend, I was an option. Something to do. A way to pass the time until she could get to what or more like who she really wanted, her BFF. I am treating her, no I've made her a priority in my life but I'm not a priority in hers...I'm an option. Before we started "dating" I told her that I was hard to trust anyone and I told her why. She text me about 10 min ago, I had just posted on fb, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou. She asked me, "Are you okay? I said, "I'm fine." I'm pretty sure she knows now, I've figured her out. And she's trying to hold on, string me a long. I'm a quick learner tho.
  24. OK. So. I have now had two experiences with women. No sex yet, but making out, touching, etc. With the first, I really wanted it to work, but there wasn't really a spark. Chemistry wasn't there. It was nice kissing her and all, and she was pretty and sexy, and nice, but it wasn't the right fit. With this one, OMG, The sparks are FLYING. The first time we got together one-on-one, we started kissing and didn't want to stop. It was so sensual. Hands on each others' faces, necks, chests, backs, hair, hips, breasts. So sweet and soft. With the first, I was nervous. I enjoyed kissing her, but the thought of going further with her made me feel self-conscious and unsure. I realize now that's because the desire and the connection weren't there. Now, I feel like it will all just flow so effortlessly and naturally, because I WANT her so much. I am connected with her mind and her heart, which strengthens the desire. I can't wait to be with her again and just hold her close. Feel her breathing. Touch her skin. Push her hair out of her face. Kiss her lips. The thought of going further excites me to no end. I want to pull her shirt up and kiss her breasts. I want...um. I'd better stop...I want it ALLLLLL. And now I'm sure I will have it. And I am floating on air. Sigh. And it's not just about the sex. That's what makes it so good. She wants a relationship. Connection. Communication. A future. With me, AND my husband. That's what I wanted. I'm living the dream.
  25. How many years older/younger than yourself would you consider dating someone? It's always been +/- 3 years for me, but as I get older, I don't think I'd mind dating people more than 3 years older than me. I think the perception of a year changes as you get older. The younger range is difficult to set though. Definitely couldn't go under 21, but idk if even that might be too young. Guess I won't have to figure that out any time soon anyway.