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Found 54 results

  1. This has been my conclusion over the past few months, regardless of gender. I have found that there are so many dishonest people online and it is difficult to sift through and find the genuine ones. It's like every time I seem to connect with someone, even if it progresses to steady dating, I find out that there is something they've lied about that is an absolute deal breaker for me (e.g. unemployed, married). It got to the point of where I was extremely guarded with anyone, and I hate being that type of person :( What say you ladies? Do you agree or disagree? Have any experiences to share?
  2. I thought I'd create this topic for all of us single who find it hard to meet a woman. I'll start. Well, the title explains it all. Yesterday I went to a festival and a (much) older guy said near me and struck the conversation with me right away (he didn't leave me alone the whole evening). I enjoyed the festival a lot but when he felt more familiar with me, he spread his legs so widely, I had not much place left for myself. Then he asked me out for a drink, I did, the night was young and I didn't have to go home. He made me all those compliments blabla but all I was thinking...damn, I wish it was a woman. I felt zero attraction for him and I didn't want to come out to him. Anyway, to cut the long story short it made me once again think how easy it is to meet a straight man and how hard a woman. Especially here. I live in a big city with lots of people but my luck with meeting one equals -1 and on the eve of my my birthday I feel down. Please, share your stories ladies
  3. Just needed some advice. So I've been out for almost two years now but I haven't really dated all that much. I recently went to a bi event in my town and met this beautiful woman. We chatted a bit but I never got up the nerve to ask her out before I left. It got me thinking about how I never can "seal the deal" and I think it stems from getting brutally shot down by the first woman I was ever interested in. I think I hold on to that but I can't figure out how to move past it. Has anyone ever struggled with something like this and if so how did you get passed it?
  4. So I've been following one of my favorite queer youtubers Ari Fitz for a while and she posed a very good question. How do you prefer to be approached? Often we're used to feeling uncomfortable when being apprached, so a lot of the time we try to make sure that when we're approaching someone to avoid making it weird, creepy or uncomfortable. With that in mind, sometimes we might meet someone who we think is just being nice but they're actually trying to send signals. So is there an opportunity for us to be more assertive? In what way? I'm really curious about your experiences of some really good and bad times a woman has approached you, your preference on how you like being approached and some do's and don'ts. Alright and go! Happy Holidays
  5. A lot of people like myself like to say that we don't have a type. Honestly, I've been pleasantly surprised by unexpected crushes and like to keep an open mind because of that. As a pretty inexperienced baby bi who is freshly getting into this dating game, mostly online dating I've noticed that although I have an open mind, there are some big Deal Breakers for me. -racist or prefers not to date certain races -smokers. No shade but I've had some really rough experiences being asthmatic, so smoking would really suck -rude or arrogant -no ambition, dreams or goals for their ljfe I feel like there might be more but those are the ones that would get a hard no from me Let's start a conversation, what are your deal breakers/turn offs?
  6. For those of you who have been in a relationship with another woman, what's the most romantic thing you've done? My ef girlfriend lived 40 - 60 mins from me when we were dating. I would make this drive an deliver a single rose to her door. Not just one rose. I wanted her to collect a bouquet. She is German, so I hand wrote German poems by Goethe and attached them to the rose. When she asked me if I knew anything about it, I refused to acknowledge anything. But then when I visited her on the weekend, there they were sitting in a vase. She loved it. I invited her to go to a White party with me where I introduced her to my circle of friends. She sent me pictures asking me which dress I thought she should wear. I went on J. Crew website and ordered and had a dress delivered to her door which perfectly matched her personal style. It arrived during the day just before she was set to leave from work and come to my house to get ready for the party. The look on her face when she pulled it out from her bag and how much she loved it was priceless. Anyone else gone to great lengths?
  7. Oh dear... Someone flirts with you outrageously. Arranges to meet you then cancels. Sent a couple of chatty texts but no replies so time to knock any ideas of that one on the head. lord knows what I’ve done. No point even trying to wonder... sucks pretty badly but no reply is a message in itself... they just aren’t that in to me. Ah ok... lol
  8. Well, today I found out that my Girlfriend was already dating a guy before I even got the chance to tell her that I think we should be friends. Wow! I'm not hurt but pissed now. She lead me to believe she was interested in a monogamous relationship with me. She even sat me down to tell me what she was "about." Meaning not dating more than one person at a time. She said she had " been with women" but not had a relationship with one but, that she really vibes with me and that it wasn't about what someone had between their legs for her but, what they felt. But then, when I'd try to ask her out, after we had been intimate, she was always busy. I had started to pick up signs that she wanted out but wasn't woman enough to admit it. So, that's why I ended it. Now she's following me around like a lost puppy, not because she wants me back but, because we work together and she doesn't want me mad or drama at work. She's afraid I'll post the many nude photos of herself that she sent me in the short time we dated. Sigh, I hope most women aren't like her. If they are, I'd rather be alone. 1
  9. Well, I talked to my girlfriend and told her that, I think being friends is better for she and I. She agreed. I wanted to do this before we started to get angry and end up not liking each other at all. She was nervous that I wouldn't be okay with it. I told her, I was fine. I'd rather be by myself than with someone who wasn't really into me anyway. I knew she didn't want to continue as a couple but was afraid I'd be upset.. She was hanging out with friends and when I'd ask her about going out....she was always busy. No one is always busy. That just means...they don't have time for you. Narrow their options by giving them one less option. I respect myself too much to beg for someone's attention. And, I've been down that road where you care and feel deeply for someone that doesn't feel the same. Life is too short to waste your time on people who can't give you any of theirs. Like I said in one of the forum posts, I don't have a problem being single. It doesn't bother me. If the truth be told, it's hard for me to have someone in my life because I'm quite satisfied all by myself. So when I do spend time with someone, that means I've made you and our relationship a priority. That means, you are important to me. I'm only asking for the same in return, that is...if I mean anything at all to you.
  10. I thought this thread could be a place for single people to post their dating adventures. And I can start with my latest weekly adventure.... I have had this flirty friend who seems to be at least bicurious. This week we met up at an art opening for wine. Also, I had chatted with a girl on tinder who seemed super interested. And the evening begins. My flirty friend who last time talked about orgasms and wanted me to share her bottle of merlot... joined me for an art opening to continue our conversation. We met up at the art space. She ran into another woman she knew, who had an awesome hairstyle and sexy aura. Later, my flirty friend made the comment that she knew her from dancing... and "if she were gay" would be into the way she moved... sounds like it's on her mind, but she has inhibitions. So perhaps if we keep hanging out, we can explore further. But it relieved the awkward tinder/ sms conversation I had with this Tinder woman. So she super-liked me, and I asked her if she was free to hang out Saturday. She said she had to work in the evening but wanted to hang out earlier in the day. Since my flirty friend and I were supposed to get together Friday, and she wanted to go to a salsa party, I wasn't sure I'd be moving in the early part of the day..... When I told the Tinder woman, she said she was working at the same club as the salsa party. So awkward. If there was anything that was going to happen with flirty friend, I wasn't sure about how to work around that if I went to this club where the Tinder woman worked. But I guess after my flirty friend made it clear nothing was going to happen quickly there, it kind of made things less awkward. But I actually found out about a business party at ANOTHER club, except that it was raining. So my flirty friend did not want to bike to the other club in the rain and then get wet again going to the club with the salsa party. She preferred to go straight to the club with the salsa party where the woman from Tinder worked... and dry off before her salsa party started. So the Tinder woman wanted me to come by to see her at work, and it just happened that my other friend dragged me into the club way before the party started. We were talking pretty intensely about an issue I'm dealing with in my life. But then her (male) salsa parten came in so it looked like hey were together. I was looking around for the Tinder woman, and thought maybe I could tell which of the staff was her, but not to be sure. As soon as the guy arrived, she came to our table and got our drinks. She sent me a message on Tinder she thought she saw me. It gave me butterflies a little. I haven't dated a woman in several years. I am still talking to guys also, but why not? Go out with her, and guys and see what clicks?
  11. I started dating after five years of not having, not a single solitary date. I have a hard time approaching a woman. You never know if she's into women or not. Well, my current Girlfriend, (she's not really) found me. she was hired at my job. I know. I know. I have the same rule about not dating a co-worker. Well she pursued me.. She figured out my Kryptonite...she asked me out for a beer. I said, "Yes" what could it hurt? Well, let me explain something to you, I haven't been out on a date in 5 years, we are drinking 13% alcohol content beer, She is 26, redhead, (red hair is my other Kryptonite BTW. Maybe it has something to do with my huge crush on Kate Kane, Batwoman)., she has slate grey eyes, pouty soft lips and perfect breast. I could go on...but you get the picture. Well, instant attraction on my part. And she's fun and adventurous. Down right perfect....but, there's a catch. Yep, there's always a catch. We dated for about two months. Texting here and there, calling occasionally and going out. I even invited her over to my house. That's something I never do. We even....yeah, we did that. Fast forward to one week ago, She gets a phone call from her "BFF" or former "BFF" and she says her friend needs her. She drops everything, arranges for someone to work for her, buys a plane ticket, and breaks our plans to bring in the New Year, and is gone...just like that. No hesitation. So, at this moment, my "girlfriend" is driving cross country from Seattle to North Carolina. So that you get the whole picture. I can't get this girl to text/call me with any consistency. It's like a week to a week and a half where we have to plan to go to the damn movies or out to dinner because, she's so tired, or going home to visit parents and family, or doing whatever else. So, last night,, as I lay in my bed with a bottle of merlot, with my dog and cat...it finally hit me. I wasn't her girlfriend, I was an option. Something to do. A way to pass the time until she could get to what or more like who she really wanted, her BFF. I am treating her, no I've made her a priority in my life but I'm not a priority in hers...I'm an option. Before we started "dating" I told her that I was hard to trust anyone and I told her why. She text me about 10 min ago, I had just posted on fb, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou. She asked me, "Are you okay? I said, "I'm fine." I'm pretty sure she knows now, I've figured her out. And she's trying to hold on, string me a long. I'm a quick learner tho.
  12. OK. So. I have now had two experiences with women. No sex yet, but making out, touching, etc. With the first, I really wanted it to work, but there wasn't really a spark. Chemistry wasn't there. It was nice kissing her and all, and she was pretty and sexy, and nice, but it wasn't the right fit. With this one, OMG, The sparks are FLYING. The first time we got together one-on-one, we started kissing and didn't want to stop. It was so sensual. Hands on each others' faces, necks, chests, backs, hair, hips, breasts. So sweet and soft. With the first, I was nervous. I enjoyed kissing her, but the thought of going further with her made me feel self-conscious and unsure. I realize now that's because the desire and the connection weren't there. Now, I feel like it will all just flow so effortlessly and naturally, because I WANT her so much. I am connected with her mind and her heart, which strengthens the desire. I can't wait to be with her again and just hold her close. Feel her breathing. Touch her skin. Push her hair out of her face. Kiss her lips. The thought of going further excites me to no end. I want to pull her shirt up and kiss her breasts. I want...um. I'd better stop...I want it ALLLLLL. And now I'm sure I will have it. And I am floating on air. Sigh. And it's not just about the sex. That's what makes it so good. She wants a relationship. Connection. Communication. A future. With me, AND my husband. That's what I wanted. I'm living the dream.
  13. How many years older/younger than yourself would you consider dating someone? It's always been +/- 3 years for me, but as I get older, I don't think I'd mind dating people more than 3 years older than me. I think the perception of a year changes as you get older. The younger range is difficult to set though. Definitely couldn't go under 21, but idk if even that might be too young. Guess I won't have to figure that out any time soon anyway.
  14. So I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I have a thing for my best friend. We've known each other for 10 years, have lived together, practice our religion together, helped me raise my oldest child, and she even was there for the birth of my second. She knows I identify as Pansexual, and she identifies as Asexual. I would love to date her, we share so many interests, but she doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I don't know what to do.
  15. Hi! I'm new here and really need help. I have been friends with this great woman for almost 3 years now, well actually at the moment she is my best friend. We are both Bi. We are both married but my husband knows that i am bi and supports it fully. Her husband knows she is Bi as well and also supports it...they have an open relationship. For the last 2 months something has been sparking between us, we have started flirting, i think. She keeps eye contact for longer than whats normal between friends and its kind of like her eyes sparkle when she looks at me. We flirt on whatsapp and once i told her that she should not stare at me cause it makes me uncomfortable, not because its weird but because she has bedroom eyes and it drives me crazy. I said this in a joking way and ever since then she makes a point of staring at me. She also does this extremely sexy thing where she would wink at me and blow a kiss and it makes me weak. I told her its extremely sexy and now she does it every time we see each other. She buys me little gifts like chocolates, biscuits and candy for no reason at all. We send each other sex pics of Bi women and discuss them, like how much fun it looks and how hot it is. My point is, i am really into this woman and i really want to kiss her. She arranged a movie night this Friday with me where we will be alone without our hisbands, it was her idea and i joked and said to her that she only wants to get me alone with her....she laughed and said: maybe hey! And then she did that wink and kiss thing again. I need help on what to do Friday night...eventhough i think she might like me more than a friend i am still nervous and afraid that i might be wrong. Should i make a move or not? If yes, how do i make the first move? Thanx in advance for the help!
  16. My random thought for this morning… I wonder why I’m typically only approached and asked out by men. When I’m at lesbian events it’s rare that women approach me and same with online dating sites. I can be shy, but overall I’m very outgoing and friendly. So I don’t think that I’m putting off negative vibes. I’m OK with approaching women, but it would be nice once in a while if they approached me. Just something I’m thinking about today.
  17. Imagine if the next time you met someone and felt like you clicked, you just automatically told them exactly what you wanted from them? Instead of trying to win them over, feel them out to know they feel the same way before you make a move, or trying to steer them into making the first move so you can go forward guilt-free, what if you were just candidly, borderline-creepily honest? With one guy I used to take martial arts with in college, I would have said, "I know you're really into sex, and I'm not as much, but I am into you. What if I just let you pick me up and throw me onto the bed, but then we just watched cartoons together until I fell asleep on top of your chest? Then I'd get you bagels and coffee in the morning, and we could drive to the top of the parking garage next to the amusement park, and drink our coffee while watching the sun rise over the roller coasters." With one girl I grew up with, I would say, "Can we lay some tarps and canvas down in your living room when your roommates are out for the night, and recreate the paint scene from Better Than Chocolate? I'll bring wine, takeout, and paper plates and cups so we don't have to worry about making a mess, and you can pick the colors and music." I haven't clicked with anyone for a while. It's like that part of my pleasure center just turned off and I don't know how to turn it on again. I meet cool, smart, attractive people and nothing that propulsive pops into my head. No electricity, no sweaty palms, no obsessively checking my phone for signs of contact from them after I give them my number or e-mail. But if I were to meet someone exceptional and that were to change, and I applied the creepy no-filter rule, I might say something like: "I want to take you to the Museum of Art, blindfold you, lead you to the small, dimly lit hieroglyphics room, and let you take the blindfold off so it seems like you've literally been teleported back in time to an ancient temple, because romance is a type of magic and everyone deserves to feel like their lives are magical once in a while." "Hold eye contact with me just a second longer than it feels appropriate. Tell me that I’m beautiful, in the morning when my hair is a mess. When I’m dressed up. When I walk into a coffee shop to meet you for a date. Just because. Kiss my cheek. Kiss my forehead. Kiss the back of my neck. Not as foreplay, just to kiss me." "When you're having a bad day and I can't come over, I might secretly send you a delivery from our favorite date restaurant. And of course I'll include dessert. Please don't forget to take a second to look at the sunset out the window. Have a good night. PS: I'll miss you too." Today's rambling blog post is brought to you by: Loneliness. From the same company that brought you: Rejection! Don't want to settle for a comfortable relationship that doesn't truly make you happy? Does the thought of adding someone else's personal problems to your own make you cringe? Enjoy sleeping in the middle of the bed? Try Loneliness! The first thirty days are free(ing)! If not completely satisfied, return for a full refund of Settling.
  18. This year I've had a lot of obstacles getting my life settled. It's effected my confidence and made me feel like I don't have a lot to offer. Hopefully that's changing, and with work I am seeing and feeling like more solid direction that could clear up a lot of my problems. I think that helps me go from looking just for mr/ms right now to something more. This month my goal is to get my life organized and set up structure to work toward my goals. Three weeks ago I wrote a letter to a woman who could be considered untouchable unless I find someone I know who knows her. No word back, so I guess I am not holding my breath. I did reach out to a friend this week in NYC again to see if she had crossed paths. I just expressed that I thought this woman was someone I would enjoy getting together for coffee to discuss common interests/ background. But I also realize I have not dated women in years. This spring was the first time I had been with a woman in a long time. I've chatted with a few very attractive women from Tinder, and started hanging out with a very flirty friend who seems to have some less than overt curiosity. But she is moving away this summer, so that is ill fated anyway. The two women I've chatted to have travelled a lot so the timing has not worked out to get together. One is Russian and one is part Colombian. And I realize I am avoiding this. I should get out there and go out with some women. Maybe some men too while I'm at it. I did get together with one or two guys I had chatted with this spring but neither appear to be going anywhere. Ok, so I have gotten out there and met up with some guys for some dates. I think if I want to consider giving a shot to a relationship with a woman again, I have to go out with some women? Maybe the more settled I feel, the more confident I will be in dating in general?
  19. So I took a, for me pretty big plunge and set up a profile for myself on pink cupid. Already got a fews "interests" which is kind of exciting, but none from anywhere even in my same state which is a little disappointing. But I am definately exciting about at least trying SOMEHING and the possibilities. Hope everything continues to go well.
  20. Hey Ya'll Ok, so I've been struggling with accepting this. I imagine that what I have to say isn't unique but I definitely need some help. I'm from SF, I'm active in church, 22, musician....and I'm bi, there I said it. No surprises here considering I'm on shybi. I just wanted to get suggestions, advice, tips, a little tlc because I'm new to all of this. I sort of separated my questions so you can respond to what you wish. Acceptance/Coming out So far I've only come out to 3 of my friends whom all identify as either straight or questioning asexuals. All 3 of them were so cool about it and don't treat me any differently, it's so refreshing. I'd like to come out to my family but as much as I know they love me, I know even my attraction with no action would be wrong to them. They'd see me as a completely different person and I don't know if I can handle that. Advice for Christian bi's growing up in Christian families? I have a group of friends who are a mixed bunch in race, sexuality, gender and I know they wouldn't care much. I'm afraid that my reputation as a Christian would now somehow be tainted by the fact that I'm attracted to more than just men. The thought terrifies me of overwhelming rejection, I've seen every gay, or lesbian family member be in one way or another ostracized or made fun of. I literally just want to be the same me and date whomever I'm attracted to. Why the heck is that so wrong? Dating: Ok, now for the good stuff lol. I've never dated, I'm a virgin, never even had my first kiss. I'm talking to a really awesome person on okcupid and have been getting a lot of mutual likes from other women as well. More for what I can say in real life (or I'm just oblivious?) I really want to ask this girl out but one, I'm terrified. So, help? My fears and concerns are this; What if I'm outed by someone that I know while on a date, is it fair to the other person to date them when you're not completely out, what if there's no physical attraction upon meeting each other (ahhh), what if she's turned off by my inexperience, what are some good first date ideas, what are some good rules of thumb for dating women, how do you know if a girl is into you? First kiss tips? These are all questions that I'd ask my siblings, since they don't know about this shybi part of me, well I guess ya'll are my tentative shybi siblings. So please teach me your ways lol. That's all for now, lol send help, Baby bi signing out -UnicornKween
  21. Following a conversation with a girl friend after she went on a date with a woman who heavily altered her pictures. I'm curious, how many of you edit your photos? Or what do you think about people who do?
  22. I was chatting with my GF last night about how we met and what our initial thoughts were of each other. She told me that with my profile (dating app) it looked too good to be true (I have recent photos and always keep it 100 btw) and she thought I was real cute but more “catfish cute” lol. One of my ex’s also thought this when we initially met too thru social media. I’ve worked with many pro photographers over the years who always tell me how naturally photogenic I am and how the camera loves me. I even get mistaken for being a pro model from fans and others in the industry constantly, but only more recently have I been “accused” of being one online lol. Has anyone else who’s been using dating sites been told this, or come across anyone who they felt was catfish cute?
  23. Grrrrrr! I haven't really been dating or putting myself out there. As a matter of fact, haven't even been looking at the fairer sex at all. I suppose I was tired out and wanted a break. Tonight I put an ad up, looking for a FWB situation. I've been getting more and more into strip clubs, simply because it's easier. No muss, no fuss. No drama. No emotional entanglements- which I don't have time for. Yada, yada, yada...I decided (today) that I've had my fun and it's time to wade back into the raging waters of dating ladies. Or at least, a FWB situation. I post the ad and I'm very clear in the title and in the body of the ad: FEMMES ONLY. No men. No couples. No studs/butch/etc. Only feminine women. And here I go into a 20 minute texting convo with someone who ends up being a stud and is chippy with me 'cuz I'm not into that. READ THE AD! Ugh, it's just as bad when men make a blind stab at it and contact me in a long email about how they just wanna provide oral sex. No. No men. I'm just complaining...thanks. Lol. Whew. I feel better.
  24. So I see a lot of individual threats, but thought maybe there should be one threat for the topic if people have specific situations where they are dating people and looking for advice on certain situations.... Maybe this can be this place. Though I guess people in relationships considering poly arrangements might also have similar dating questions. I've posted some thoughts about this "flirty friend" as I call her.... at least in my profile updates if not any specific threads. So this is where things get interesting. So she and I met last fall. We had one night where she was providing me a little too much wine, and we all got a little gropey. Then we went dancing together. I tried to kiss her, but I was a little tipsy. She pulled away. She made a comment about boundaries with not wanting to do something she regretted. (That night I had also come from a bad date before meeting up with them) Fast forward. She showed up at a casual social business event unexpectedly where I didn't expect to see her, and came to seek me out. Fast forward. Finally this spring she and I had exchanged messages back and forth and met up for drinks. The week later, I invited her to a wine and art event, where she made a comment about a woman there being attractive and sexy "if she were into women" so seemed to be on her mind. We went to a club and had drinks and she touched my hand. But I had also been messaging a server at that club who was hoping I would stop by so we could meet, and it was just awkward. After that she has been busy because she is moving to another city. We finally got to hang out again (with other people) last week for a going away for her.... and definitely we talked about me visiting her when she is moved in. So I have kind of been checking out different options on Tinder, and I saw one profile with the same spelling of her name, but the picture is only the back of a woman's head. So I was reluctant to swipe either way. I went to check out her pictures to see if maybe I could see the same picture on her social media profile and determine if this was her or not... I didn't see that picture. She also had a picture of flowers, and I did find pictures of her being super attracted to flowers and made a comment. So any thoughts? What should I do? She moves this weekend, and then goes home to see her mom, because her mom is undergoing cancer treatments. Do I swipe on her Tinder profile? Do I mention her Tinder profile? Do I bring up some romantic possibility another way? Yes, she and I get along great, and I would consider dating her. There is some attraction there, I think. I would be open to exploring romantic possibilities. I really like her input about life, and I feel like we are on some of the same wavelengths on a lot of levels, professionally, and in our spiritual lives, which has been a deal breaker for me in some relationships. It could be exciting to explore the possibilities, and I would be open to that. How do I bring it up? I think the Tinder profile gives me a more clear signal. Before that I got the feeling maybe she was trying to figure out her own attraction to women or something. This is what I mean when women here post situations where they overthink what other women are doing or thinking instead of just giving them space to figure things out for themselves while you obsess over them. Don't obsess over anyone! Maybe she has reached a point where she has started to accept she's attracted to women and is open to pursuing something now. I haven't pushed her at all and kind of totally backed off. I guess I was thinking since she invited me to her place to share a bottle of wine, I would hang out with her and let things happen naturally, but she got busy and that didn't happen before she moved. Should I just wait and see if it works out to visit her and see then if something happens? Or should I try to find her on Tinder and connect that way? But could that get awkward? Or should I try to bring something up explicitly? Not really my style. I really am more of a let things happen naturally person instead of trying to address things awkwardly...
  25. Honestly, I have always been attracted to women as much as men. Though I haven't really dated much and when I did it was only men. The women I found myself to be attracted to were either straight, already taken, or just saw me as a sisterly type. Honestly, I can't even tell if another female would even be interested in me, Most likely I would need them to spell it out for me. I'm too shy to even say anything otherwise. Any helpful advice would be appreciated.