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Found 3 results

  1. I fall between being bisexual/demisexual/sapio. When I was 19 I came out to one of my closest friends but never felt the need/urge to come out to anyone else. Growing up I thought I just admired other women in a girl crush kind of way and didn't get sexual urges when I kissed my girl friends, like I did with guys. It was only until my late teens when I actually recognised how much I liked this girl at my college - even one of the guys in my class noticed I did and playfully pointed it out. I liked another girl in my class too but we were friends. I still didn't quite understand my sexuality like I do now. I don't really discuss who I like with my friends/family. I only really discuss briefly whether I've had a date but ive always been a private person in that retrospect. I actually find having to tell people who I'm dating and why rather exhausting. Hetero people can date the opposite sex and not have to be questioned about it beyond who the person is and what they do. Where as for an LGBTQ+ person it's like we have to prepare for a Ted talk and Q&A... "is the other person gay or bi" "why have you hidden this from me" "so are you gay now" etc. I just want to be like Illana from Broad City. Unapologetically dating whoever she wants and not having any questions asked. Just being her!
  2. Welp, it’s official. I can’t do it. And by that, I mean I’ve been kicked off the ‘fun’ train of exploring sex with strangers. This is technically no surprise; I’ve always been that way. I’m not that type of person who gets a kick out of having flings and sexting random people online that I have no connection with. But since discovering my bisexuality, I have realized even more that I’m truly a demisexual. I have joined the Kik app a while back because I had a couple of women from Cafemom there that needed chat buddies. Of course, they were from sexual type groups, so quite obviously, I knew they’d be some sexual talk involved. I didn’t mind that. What I DIDN’T expect was for them to be so overly fucking horny that they’d actually pressure me into sharing pictures of myself. Nude pictures of myself. I didn’t know how bad it was out there. The groups are full of alternative thinking moms, lesbian moms, and bisexual moms. I didn’t know how serious the sexting world was until I stepped into that arena and got bombarded by ladies private messaging me and trying to get me to show myself. I thought these things would take time. If anything, i thought that this would be a group effort or group pressure. But nope. Some of the ladies talk to me privately and within minutes of meeting them, they’re flashing me a titty pic or their flat asses in a thong. Like I said, obviously, I kind of expected this stuff, even though this was my first time in that sexting world. But I didn’t expect the ladies to show their stuff so soon and beg me to to it also. I mean, literally beg. One lady was seriously fucking coaxing me into showing her an ass pic, even after I told her a couple of times that I wasn’t comfortable with it. Like, damn, why are they so desperate? Isn’t sharing porn pics enough? Apparently, it wasn’t enough. They want to see YOU. Is that supposed to make it seem more genuine? Of course, hubby knew that I was trying out these sexy Kik groups, and he was semi-okay with it as long as I didn’t show any nude pics. But I honestly had no desire to show myself, anyway. I can’t get that intimate with someone until we’ve established a relationship. My mind won’t let me do it. I don’t just throw my naked bits out there to the internet. Who knows if these women are even women at all? Hell, you never know these days. Could be transwomen. Could be men trying to see these pics. I trust nothing. I love talking about sex like anyone else, but I don’t like the feeling of being pressured into showing myself. If I’m not doing it, I’m not doing it. That should be the end of it. But I should have known better. I know this world and how people react sexually. If they’re showing something, they want something in return, even though I never actually asked for any nudes from them. They just… shower one another with it. So for now, I’m in the process of weeding myself out of some of these toxic groups. I can’t deal with the pressure. It’s nice seeing the daily tit, ass, and pussy pics (most of which aren’t even attractive enough for me, sad to say LOL), but I still have some morals. One of which don’t include showing nude pics to goddamn strangers. Only someone who loves me and cares for me deserves to see me naked. And even though I feel like a damn prude for it, I’m a happy prude and I’ll stay that way.
  3. Demisexual is a term used for people who experience sexual attraction and can enjoy intimacy, but don’t actively seek it out and often require a deep personal connection before being intimate. Demisexual people often have lower sex drives, but are not completely asexual. Demiromantic people experience romantic attraction, but are not drawn to romance and do not actively seek it out.. After reading this online, it suddenly all makes sense... After reading this, it's like something clicked in my head, and it would explain all the relationships I have had. Let's see, where to start- Relationship A: he was my gay best friend who after awhile of us hanging out and getting close, I started to realize I had a crush on him. We were so close at one point that all he had to do was look at me and he knew what I was tihnking, he was the first person I came out to and he was the only one who said he was proud of me after coming out to my mom...when we were hanging out together it was like we had our own little world and I always liked hanging out with him one on one because I didn't care for a lot of his friends and they weren't always so decent to me... Now looking back, it may of been me and my anxiety...but at the time I wasn't aware of it. But he was.... He played the cello and I loved how goofy he was and how he could make me laugh and then after awhile of us hanging out and stuff, I started to fantasize about him coming behind me and us making out in the hallway and this was while he was sitting across from me... Relationship B- Mr.Clingy: this was the most recent one and this one takes the cake. He drove me crazy at first and then I started thinking he was cute. Our boss at the time tried to play match maker for us and at first I resisted doing anything because I didn't feel right about it and yet I kept thinking about him and we used to do computer lab for the kids and the kids picked up on it really quick that there was something going on between us and so after working with him and being around him, I started to like little quirks of his personality and then one day I realized I was crushing on him and I loved talking to him and we started to do a story by text and we would do these all the time and my feelings for him were growing more and more and now I realize that it was his personality coming through in the story and that was who my feelings were for...not really him cause we don't really know each other. So now all of this is starting to make sense and now to post this, and learn more about myself and keep on exploring and see where this takes me....