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Found 18 results

  1. I have a friend of about 10 years. We aren't particularly close, although I think she believes we are more connected than (I feel) we are. She has a male friend who's gay and who has become an acquaintance of mine (and was also a FB friend). I dropped by their office weeks ago, where the two own a business. While talking, the two discussed what picture she should send a guy she's chatting with. He scrolled through her phone and then turned to me and said, "What do you think about this one? It was a naked pic of my friend, one in which I could practically see her cervix. LOL. I looked up at her and she's just staring at me, waiting for my reaction. In the past, she has waxed and waned between being curious about being w/a woman and has asked if I'd be down w/her watching me have sex with someone (and act, she assured me, she'd derive no pleasure from- she just likes to watch). After a few minutes, I have to leave and the guy follows me and shouts, "What happened? Did it turn you on." I laughed, told him no and went to the meeting I was rushing to. A few nights later, she calls me at 11:30 p.m. I'm completely knocked out when she does. I answer it, worried it's an emergency and can hear her laughing (and the same guy cracking up in the background). I hear him say, "This is gonna be so funny!" I hang-up, pissed off because I go to the gym at 4ish on the weekdays. This time, another number calls back and I assume it's him. 6-7 more times, that number calls and I send it to VM. One final time, I pick it up irritated and I hear them both laughing. I hang up and block his number. She calls me the next morning while I'm at the gym (she knows this is where I am in the morning) and I send it to VM. She then text messages and says, "Surprise, surprise, you didn't answer. I just wanted to catch up. Give me a call when you can." I'm still pissed off from the night before and also, I have things to do- so I don't call her back. The next day, she calls again while I"m at the gym. I text her around lunch time and ask her what's up? She said, "Just wanted to catch up. Can you stop by my office? I need your expertise on something. No one is here right now." I'm eating lunch w/someone, so I don't hear the text right away. When I see it, she's text messaged again, "No smart ass, I just need your expertise. LOL." I don't respond. I'm a little weirded about even seeing her nude picture, because I almost feel like it was intentional. The two of them are funny people, but they do enjoy the kicks from drama they start. Usually, I'm not a part of it. I hang with them once in a while, shoot the breeze, and leave. I see her more, considering I don't see her that often, but she's one of the few friends who have a relationship with my parents and we've been friends for about a decade. I've already declined her request to watch me have sex, a proposition that didn't freak me out at all because I understand that we all have our kink. Two days later, he sends me a message on Facebook: Hey, how are you? Arlene said she has more pics to show you." Obviously, he's referring to my friend. I just send a smiley face back. Other than that, I don't respond and leave it alone. The next day, he messages on Facebook: "Hey, call us at the office." I don't read the message, because it will show it's read, but I see the alert on my computer. I don't respond in any way, not wanting to further this anymore. The day after that, he calls me on facebook and I don't answer. The day after that, finally, I don't hear anything, which is good. In the following week, I notice that he's removed from my chat window. I check and he's unfriended me but she hasn't and she's still a FB friend to my mom. I don't know what to do. Whether to say anything or just leave it alone and let the friendship fade into being acquaintances. What would you do, if anything?
  2. Since so many of you have unrequited crushes thought you might have an insight into what's happened to me. I'm in a weird numb emotional state at the moment and wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation. I've been in love / madly infatuated with my straight (bi-curious maybe) friend for well over 5 years. We became good friends but she wasn't interested in anything more. I accepted that and settled for a very one-sided friendship. I would do most of the organising of get togethers and I put far more into 'us' than she ever did. I could never bare the thought of not having her in my life so I was willing to always do more for her. Guess I was like a love sick puppy. Now after many years of this set-up I've finally come to realise just how unhealthy this relationship is. And although there is still some attraction there I have fallen out of infatuation with her. Its like everything I admired and thought about her has just dropped away and instead of thinking she is this amazing Goddess of a woman I now see her for what she is, flawed like the rest of us ! In fact she has treated me quite poorly on many an occasion, but I always forgave. She is doesn't have the qualities that make a friend and its taken me this long to come out of an all encompassing 'spell'. It has to be for the best that this has ended, as it has been very emotionally exhausting. But I am left feeling anxious and very lost. I've cried a lot, felt angry and now just a bit confused. I should be feeling liberated, right ? What's going on. ?
  3. I made the mistake of dating my best guy friend who I used to have a crush on some years ago, despite this crush had long since worn off and we were in the friendzone, he was there for me after I had a difficult break up so I thought I'd give it a go with him when he asked me out. Unfortunately after some months of dating it never felt like more than friends with benefits. I had no romantic feels for him,the sex was always awkward and neither one of us declared our love for each other so it seemed best to end it there. I asked if we could step back to just being friends, at the time he agreed, I gave him some space. But now he wants us to try and get back together and I don't have any desire for a man in my life at this point in time. . .Especially since I've moved on and quite possibly have the woman of my dreams in sight. Any advice on how to break this to him (not sure that I'm ready to be out of the closet to him just yet, I don't want it to sound like an excuse even if it is a valid reason) that I'm not interested in re-starting a relationship with him?
  4. Hiya! I've just joined and hoping to meet wonderful friends, make bonds and have fun and hopefully not to be too shy for too long.... I am married and not sure if my husband suspects but before he came along I would fantasise over women and occasionally watch female porn. Its hard to explain but I didnt know if there was something wrong with me but over cocktails with uni friends years ago I admitted this. No surprise I dont see thar friend anymore, I mean really? Sorry if this all sounds bad but though I am friends with hubby, I am not in love with him. He would die for me but I already know I want a divorce and he knows that much. I'm bored as hell and we dont have that special bond I would like and know can have with a female. This isn't about sex..he is well endowed and could please any woman I guess but there's just no fire and conversation is dull! Recently I cut my hair quite short. Its just made me feel sexy and liberated. I felt I needed a change in my life as a busy person, this was the start. Thinking life's too short to be miserable!? I'm not afraid..in London I noticed other females that check me out. I'm just a bit shy off what to do next??
  5. How do you guys deal with trying to get over a crush that you know won't work out? Especially when it's on your friend? A while ago I posted asking for advice about how to tell my friend I was interested in her. Long story short, she didn't return my feelings and she is straight. That happened about three months ago. It's okay though. We're still friends and nothing has changed about the dynamic of our relationship, which is a relief. Actually, my feelings for her have faded in terms of physically and mentally reacting to her--thinking about her all the time, not being able to eat or sleep sometimes (yes, I liked her that much!), etc. Those reactions don't happen anymore. I think I've calmed down a lot because I know there's no chance she could ever like me back. I still notice her beauty etc, but I don't feel a strong desire to be with her anymore. But that's not the crush I'm trying to get over (just figured I'd provide an update on that situation). This crush is on someone different. We'll call her Nora, who I've known for a couple months. We're friends. We lived together while we were both studying abroad in the same place. This crush isn't nearly as intense as my previous one was. I do think about Nora a lot. But the main issue is that my interactions with her tend to steer my mood in different directions depending on how well these interactions go. It's unsettling. This situation never happened with my previous crush. For example, a while back we were talking and she randomly mentioned she was scared about having to find a job after graduation. I asked her what she meant and she pulled away, saying I didn't have to "dig deep." Which bothered me, because why bring up something like that and then say you don't want to talk about it? I got over it quickly, realizing she isn't obligated to tell me more about stuff like that just because she mentions it. But the next day we had a Skype call with one of our other study abroad roommates (who I'll call Sam) and the entire time she was passive-aggressive and made it clear she didn't want to be there. It was frustrating and saddening. For the entire next week after this event I was feeling down. I replayed everything over and over again and was generally paranoid about the state of our friendship. I wondered if I did anything wrong, if I should stop trying to reach out to her, if she really wanted to be my friend, etc. Then one day she messaged me and we had a great conversation and suddenly life was great. No person has never affected my mood this much. Then yesterday, she messaged me about wanting to attend a comedy special at our university. I got super excited because I thought it was a chance to hang out with her one-on-one, which almost never happens. But then she told me she invited Sam to come with us and instantly I was sad. Not because I dislike Sam--I'm closer to Sam than I am to Nora, actually--but because I wanted to hang out with just Nora, you know? Plus, Nora proactively makes one-on-one plans with Sam all the time, but never does so with me. Which hurts. I don't mind them hanging out one-on-one with each other, but Nora, why not me (Sam and I hang out one-on-one all the time)? Nora doesn't know I'm bi. She actually came close to asking me once but changed her mind at the last second and asked me something else. She may have suspicions about me being bi though, because I've openly voiced my attraction to some female celebrities. And when we lived together, she would nervously tell me not to look at her while she was changing. Which I wasn't doing in the first place--I don't check out anyone while they're changing, even if I find them attractive, that's an invasion of privacy. But that's an example of why I think she may have her suspicions about me. I kinda think she doesn't want to spend one-on-one time with me because she suspects I may like her or try to flirt with her. I do like her, but I try not to flirt with her anymore, because I respect friendship boundaries. I used to flirt with her because it was fun and because I didn't think there was any harm in it. Or that she would even notice. But now I've changed my mind--she may be noticing and it could be making her uncomfortable. I also don't want to flirt with her anymore because I'm trying to get over her. Plus, I'm 99% sure she's straight and I don't want to read into any interactions that may suggest otherwise, because I did that last time and it turned out the girl wasn't into me. I don't want to make the same mistake again. So these are all of my feelings about this girl at the moment. Hopefully the examples illustrate the reasons why I want to get over her--I think about her way too much when there's no way we'll ever be a thing. Any ideas about how to move on? It's really challenging so far, especially because I want to stay friends. Has anyone ever managed to get over a crush--or a crush on a friend--without being rejected by them?
  6. If I don't phone, text or email you, please know you're still in my mind & heart. Which is why I can't contact you. It would hurt too much. It might lessen in time, but, I don't know if it will ever completely go away. If you reach out to me (which I hope that you will), I may not answer or get back with you. Believe me, I want to, more than anything. I'm keeping all of the messages. Even if they seem to be deleted, I saved them elsewhere. Right now, I don't have my phone on much & I'm not checking my email. The phone would probably be the best place,though, when you want to get a hold of me.
  7. I've met this girl through mutual friends. She's a 20-year-old and we attend the same college, but I'm her veteran (I'm 23). Multiple people have crushes on her, she's shy and rarely opens up, and is also very charming. She has two main friends (the ones we share) and they still aren't sure of her sexuality. Well, one day I asked for her Whatsapp, we're very alike (practically the same person) and I thought we could have lengthy conversations about our mutual interests. Sure enough, she showed me some nice conversational feedback that I usually don't get from straight girls, with some playful banter.. When it ended, I didn't initiate it anymore, and neither did she. Until a week later, when she saw me in person, and texted me almost midnight. We've had conversations everyday since then, the entire day, and we're both initiators. A week after I asked her to walk around the campus with me to explore the forest, and she did. There was this unspoken "What is happening here?" going between us. There was a moment where we were alone and the air got tense, so she told us to turn back, and so I did. She kept her friendship with me a secret from our mutual friends. Fast forward two months (present day) and we're still texting 24/7, she opened up to me about her sexuality (she knows she likes men, finds women attractive but isn't sure, since she has never hooked up with one). I tried to occasionally flirt but she would change the subject, so I stopped. She never initiates flirting. Calls me an affectionate nickname that I found out recently she uses only for me (I won't say it here since it's portuguese). One day she said "You're so pretty, I should use pictures of you as my profile". Then she started escalating towards sexual innuendos. We were playing online chess and I was losing, so I told her to get it over it and eat my piece (it's a phrase that also makes more sense in my language) already, she replied "I like it slow". Ok. And then the next day I was typing in the shower, and told her "I'll get back to you later, Wet hands are making it difficult to type." ... to which she replied: "I'm wet too [pervy emoji]. Hahaha that was awful. I meant I was doing dishes." ... Ok. There are a lot of other things, however, she knows I'm interested, I couldn't have made it clearer (I'm even embarrassed to admit some downright sexual flirting I've tried). Plus: she always rejects people who are interested in her. And also reblogs a lot of "heteronormative" wedding shit. I really don't get this girl, should I give up? Keep friends? Try something? Or keep subtly flirting and let her take initiative?
  8. My husband was killed. And I don't think it could have come at such a bad time for us. So much had gone wrong. He was in and out of the home, blatantly cheating, facing jail time... It was horrifying. But he was broken... He was hurting... Ptsd... I had come to a point were I just wanted to forget everything and love on him. We'd talked... He had been home... It felt like a newer better beginning..... And then he was gone. Within a matter of two weeks he was gone. As I sat with him his last hours, I wanted him back but all I could think about was all the time we wasted being mad at one another. But I think it was his time. He was overwhelmed with life. I was happy he didn't have to suffer anymore. But I'm lonely. I lost me friend. Through all of the hurt, I lost my love. On a different note, many things that néeded to happen has happened since he has been gone. I've found a different sense of purpose... Of how bad things happen for a greater good... My heart hurts many days though. I think all I ever wanted was love and be loved... Moving forward is so questionable...
  9. About this girl, again. I've had a crush for over 3.5 years, off and on. I've lately been on an "off" streak with her though. Anyway, several months ago, I started disclosing that husband and I aren't monogamous and that I'd discussed doing "stuff" with another coupled friend of mine who also likes women more, but is in a relationship with a man. A few weeks later my crush held my hand on a car ride home, and a couple weeks after that she drunkenly made out with me (I've told that story so many times, even I'm getting sick of hearing it haha). We went several months without discussing it, i thought she didn't remember it, and then one day out of the blue she blindsighted me by bringing it up, told me i was a good kisser, and that she and her fiance had discussed she and i sleeping together, but ultimately he wants to be there and she would rather be alone if we were together. I almost kissed her that day but got scared (of overstepping boundaries/making her fiance mad since there was no definitive agreement on physical touch) and didn't do it, which I'm not sure if I regret or not. Topic dropped, haven't spoken of it since. A couple of months have gone by, and my feelings have (temporarily, I'm guessing) waned. We went out together a few afternoons ago, and talked about just random innocent stuff. I was telling her about one of my best friends who used to claim asexual to avoid being hit on, who I believed was actually asexual until she told me she wasn't. Anyway, i was telling her a random thing about this friend, and how she had a crush on a girl and a guy who look like they could be twins. She said "they should all just be in a polyamorous relationship". Then later at her house, her fiance was youtubing Neil Patrick Harris videos, and she mentioned NPH is her fiance's man crush. He jokingly said she gave him a pass with NPH. She said "we could just be in a polyamorous relationship with him, but he isn't interested in my type (since he's gay)" to which i quickly just stated "hey, it's not always a triad, you can have a V or many other variations". Anyway, nothing too major, i just thought it was funny that she'd brought up poly twice in one day. I'm not thinking too far into it, because as i said, she hasn't been on my mind much lately, but it tickled my brain and made me wonder if poly relationships had been on her mind (not with me specifically) because it's an odd thing to refer to twice in a day when she never has before,or if it was just a random thing. I make weird connections and notice when a topic has been mentioned multiple times whether it's pointless or not, so that might be it. I dunno. Just musing.
  10. About 10 months ago, i made friends with a girl who walked into my bar while i was working. She'd just moved here from out of state and was exploring the city and stumbled upon the place. I thought i caught a "not straight" vibe from her right off, but that day I soon heard her make a remark about how she's not into women, but she'd spend $2 to see boobs (in response to one of our bar regulars saying he'd bought someone a $2 beer to see her boobs), so i pushed any thought i might have out of my head. She's not into women. Then found out a few days later that she was my new neighbor, and we've been super close ever since. She might be my best lady friend right now, actually. She's always loudly proclaimed she was asexual, so I completely believe(d) that. She's always being hit on, by men and women alike, and she's always politely and jokingly deflected any advance. Like, always. She's been on a couple of dates, but never got very excited about them, and always ended anything very quickly. I've never made any advance, by the way, and I often end up running any creeper hitting on her off of i can tell she isn't into it. . Anyway. She's always been very affectionate... it's in her personality. She's that way with almost anyone, if she's friends with them. So it's not just directed at me. She'll always slap my ass, hug me, kiss my cheek, tell me she's gonna fight my husband to the death for me, we're gonna get married, etc. It's all joking. But lately I'm starting to think she's not totally straight/asexual. I say this because... a few weeks ago, one of the bar regulars (a woman) who always hits on her was hugging her goodbye, and sneak kissed her on the lips. Neighbor girl looked shocked/not exactly happy, and said she was not expecting that, while Regular Chick said that was exactly what she intended to do. Which angered me a bit, because Neighbor has turned Regular down multiple times when she's made sexual advances (Regular girl has also informed me that she WILL have sex with me, despite me telling her im not interested... it's a weird scenario, she's very aggressive), and i don't think it's okay for ANYONE to go against someone else's wishes/boundaries, regardless of gender. Again, I'm very protective of Neighbor and get really mad if she's made uncomfortable. Anyway. About a week later, we were drunk and Neighbor was telling me goodbye, and kissed me directly on the lips. Which shocked me (not in a bad way, that's just never happened), but i brushed it off. Then about a week after that, she and i were ordering shots and I was sitting on a barstool with my legs tucked up and my ass kinda in the air, leaning over the bar to order. She slapped my ass, told me how fine it was, and asked me why i "gotta make her question her sexuality" and she's "supposed to be asexual, that's what she tells everyone". And that she's gonna steal me away from my husband. She and my husband are very close also, by the way, so that sort of joking isn't uncommon. I basically brushed that off too, because joking about being in love with me is a thing she does. Anyway, last night, we were out again, and we all got a little crazy. I was flirting super hard all night with my new coworker's girlfriend (who I'm kinda starting to crush on a little bit). I honestly don't remember at all what lead up to this, other than the fact that she was about to leave.... but Neighbor grabbed my face and kissed me again, only this time it wasn't a quick peck, she actually used a little bit of tongue, and made it last for a few seconds. I'm sure we said our goodbyes and "i love you"s afterward, then she left. But i can't completely remember. Is she really asexual/straight? Like, really? I'm not asking because I'm necessarily interested (only because i don't allow myself to have feelings for unavailable people, and when someone states a sexual orientation that indicates i don't fit into their scope of attraction, i take their word..... had i originally not heard her say she wasn't into women/is asexual, I probably would have been somewhat interested). I know most women don't do those things unless they have a reason, but you'd have to know this girl. She's a wildcard. Freespirited, boundary-less, humorous, and outside of social norms. And i don't think she's trying to play head games with me. I know she loves me and wouldn't play games. I've never given her any reason to believe she could, and even if i had, i don't think she would. She's very aware of my bisexuality (I've introduced her to my crush, and afterward she told me my crush was a beautiful woman and she can see why I'm so enamored by her). Is she curious and just comfortable enough with me to feel safe exploring those feelings? Is she really asexual? I know she can have feelings for men because she's had a crush and went on a date (which didn't work out), but I'm guessing that's more emotional than physical, so still within the realm of asexuality. I'm not reeling over this, not like i would had it been my crush saying/doing all of these things. And I'm not curious enough to ask her what's up, because that would probably be weird. I'm just confused and trying to figure it all out. I'm unsure of whether I'd want anything to come of it too, simply because i love that woman to death and would never want to ruin our relationship. She's just really suddenly giving me a "not asexual/straight" vibe again, for the first time since the first i met her and I'm trying to figure it out.
  11. Any advice would be appreciated... As I've written before, I've had a crush on a friend for over 3 years, nearly 4 at this point. I'm not sure if what i was perceiving was actual flirting, or just me wishing it was and projecting my feelings. But since we met, there have been too many instances to ignore where something suggestive has been said about us, or between us, or something has happened. It always seemed like she'd warm up and act flirty for a while, then suddenly cool down. About a year ago, I'd pretty much gotten over my feelings for her, and it stayed that way for several months. Then on NYE this year, she held my hand on the ride home from the party. It sort of resparked my interest, but I was still unsure. I'd been talking to another lady friend of mine about a potential fwb situation, because we're both basically lesbians who fell in love with men who accept and support our sexuality. I'd told my crush about that. Then a month later at a bar, she drunkenly began making out with me, passionately, for a long time, and we almost went back to her house to have sex. It was possibly the most aggressive makeout session I've had with a woman ever. We didn't talk about it for several months, and I got the feeling she didn't remember it, and didn't necessarily mean for it to happen. Our friendship had grown quite a bit, and i was enjoying that, while simultaneously struggling to push my feelings aside and forget what had happened (and what almost happened) between us. I took her out for her birthday in May, and we split a bottle of wine and had an additional glass each, then went to the park to walk around. I don't remember what brought it up, but she mentioned the time we made out, and told me I was really good at it. She then told me that after we made out, she and her fiance had discussed the possibility of she and I having sex, but that she didn't want to have anyone watch (neither do i) and her fiance insisted on being there if it were to happen. *grrrr* She also made certain to let me know she wouldn't feel weird at all about me seeing her naked, just my husband. I failed to mention that it had crossed my mind (a few hundred times) and that my husband and I have discussed it too, and honestly, there was a lot more i wish i would have said but i was in too much shock to think straight. There was a point at the park where i felt such a strong pull to lean in and kiss her, but i was too afraid of how she'd respond. Looking back, i kind of wish i had. I was in a good place for a while, thinking she might want what i want too, and i was willing to be patient and hope that somehow we could all discuss it and figure out a solution. If nothing else, intimacy had at least crossed her mind, which i took as a good sign. One night, about a month ago, she and her fiance came out to the bar i work at while we were just hanging out, and a coworker mentioned how close she was sitting to me, and that it seemed to him that her body language communicated that she reciprocated whatever i was feeling about her. She came over a couple of weeks ago with a bottle of wine, and gave me a little makeup lesson, then she, her fiance, my husband and I went to a work event with her fiance's coworkers at a brewery, then back to their house for a bit. Everything seemed fine then too. Then suddenly, she seems like she's completely gone cold the past couple of weeks. She barely responds to texts (she's always been bad at that anyway), she hasn't initiated any contact or asked to hang out, barely acknowledged my birthday last week and as far as i know, she and her fiance ignored my husband's invitation to come out to celebrate (which only added to the mountain of disappointment i was already experiencing about my birthday), and didn't seem too excited about canoeing a few days after my birthday (though we did try, but the river was too high so we settled for hanging out at a little man-made beach). I don't even feel like we're as close of friends as we were a month ago. I can't think of anything i might have done to upset her, unless she somehow figured out i was crushing on her, and is weirded out by it (although, I'm fairly certain the only way she could have is if she read some of my posts here, which is unlikely, but still possible as she is bisexual also). And I don't want to just ask her and come across as needy and obsessive if I'm just overthinking things. I'm just sick of being confused, sick of the (seemingly) hot and cold, sick of wanting something i probably can't have. I just want to find someone to take my mind off of her. I don't want to keep holding on to something i might be imagining. But if there's a chance, i do want it. What should i do? I'm not good at just cutting off my feelings, and i don't want to lose her friendship by pulling myself back too much (though i have decided I'm going to stop trying to initiate seeing her until she indicates she wants to hang out). I'm just so frustrated. How do you stop wanting someone? Why are there so many mixed signals?
  12. How long did it take to get over the woman who "turned" you? LOL. More accurately coined as your trigger crush; the person who blew you out of the water and left you questioning (if you have one). I love my hubby. I do not want to hurt him, but my feelings for her far outweigh anything I have felt for him. Perhaps it's just the crush talking there. I know it's not fair to him to still be pining after her. So, my question is how long did it take you to get over your trigger crush?
  13. Hey guys! So I know that some of you have seen my last post about me possibly having a girlfriend a few months ago. I was too excited then and wasn't exactly thinking clearly, but here's the deal. The friend from 8th grade that I told you guys I saw again on a dating site listed as bisexual... she and I have made ways to hang out more lately. She's very fun to hang out with, but for the most part, she's horribly immature. She has a huge crush on me, which I was overjoyed about, but it's partly because she's desperate. She's almost 31 and has had little to no romantic relationships ever in life, she's a virgin, lives with her mom, and she has no kids. I'm not saying all this to judge her or bash her, but I have realized that the fact that she's desperate to experience love is obvious and a little... overwhelming for me. To be honest, I don't see myself being with her romantically. She's not my type intellectually. She acts a lot like a 12 year old in public and makes mistakes that in my opinion, shouldn't even be made at her age. I can only enjoy being with her as a FRIEND, but she's still overly excited about doing more with me. She talks about us kissing, going to spas, and dating. (meeting her fam, etc) Perhaps it's the fact that we talk about sex a lot through online chat and share some other freaky things sometimes, but either way, I only ever got horny around her that first time was because like I said, it was new and exciting to even be around her again after so many years. Since then, I haven't gotten that way around her because I am beginning to see her true colors. I'm also finding out that she's nowhere near interested in being polyamorous with me and the hubby, which can only mean that her intentions for being with me aren't pure and honest. She secretly wants to fool around with just me, hoping that somehow, I'll fall for her only and leave my marriage. I have told her quite frequently that I'm not leaving the marriage to pursue a woman, but she acts as if it's a joke sometimes. So as of now, I don't think her intentions are where they should be... the same way mine probably weren't in the beginning, either. I need to figure out how to eventually let her down without hurting her too much. She's very shy and frail in her emotions. Maybe it's partly my fault because I led her on too much at first. I'll admit it. Hey, I jumped the gun too quick. But now, I need to woman up and let her know that I can't be sexual with her just for kicks. I take my relationships seriously and I take sex seriously. I don't want to do something with her that I'll regret because if I do, she'll definitely be way too emotionally attached to me and I won't be able to get rid of her. That being said, I don't want to hurt her too much when the time comes where she starts coming onto me strong. How do I do this? Any help is appreciated. Thanks!
  14. Just had our third meet with the same girl in the last two weeks and it keeps getting better. If I knew threesomes were as good as this I would of started a LONG time ago haha
  15. I found this forum a week ago and have been addicted. A lot of similar stories to mine. Finally decided to join. I've known and been ok but not really out about being bi for about 15 years now. Since that time had a super painful awkward crush on a very close long distance friend and it went horrible when she finally called me out on it and I fessed up. It's been almost 10 years since then and I am still not completely over her. Never believed in soul mates until I met her. I still think she felt similarly but was even more sheltered and could not reciprocate. I was also going crazy with emotions and probably pushed her away with too much. We had a nice chat about 5 years ago basically apologizing to each other for how it all went down and admitting that we've had a lot more experience since. I have gotten married to a man and had a kid since. Love my husband very much, amazing sex, love our family dynamic. We've talked in general about bisexuality and I've been pretty open about believing I only fall in love with individuals and male/female doesnt matter to me at all. I don't fall very often either. Maybe once a year or two. Since being married there was one woman I got close to and she was open about being bi, but it was close to the time of her moving so nothing ever happened but I am pretty sure she knew how I felt. Still talk on the phone from time to time with her. So this brings us to the present. A few years ago we moved to a new city. Met these new friends who share my one super passionate hobby and are a couple. Took it pretty slow at first, but eventually got very close to the wife. We text/ talk daily, hang out multiple times a week now. I realized I was crushing about 6-7 months ago. I am not normally a touchy feely person but was wanting to be close to her all the time. She is relatively new here too and her husband works a lot so I think she is lonely. They have no kids but are supposedly trying. Sometimes I wonder if she lets me lean into her all the time because she doesn't want to lose her closest friend here or if she actually reciprocates. A few months ago we were watching a movie in my bed ( have no idea how I was able to casually talk her into that, but we've done that a bunch of times!!!!) and I made some comment about some sexually fluid character and she asked if I think I could like both guys and girls. And I said I pretty much identify that way and gave some vague description of the soul mate girl crush, making it seem like more of a romantic relationship than it really was. She said she's been asked to be in a threesome 'by a very aggressive friend 'before but was not interested. We've gone on a weekend away together and shared a room where I was sure something was going to happen and I made small moves but she was sick and not feeling well and nothing ever happened although we still had a great time. So a few days ago she texts me that she's been listening to a playlist I made for our trip (all girl musicians) and that she's been noticing all these 'pairs of awesome looking women' I was at a party and had A little to drink so I got brave and wrote back 'are you turning gay?' And she says maybe. She says she is not into swinging but believes in the kinsey scale. I wrote back a couple of flirty things but she had plans with the hubby that night. The next morning I was mortified, but she seemed even more eager to hang out and we spent most of the weekend together. Monday she invited me to lunch. Yesterday she came by our house and hubby and I went to get drinks with her. Our arms must have bumped 50 times during the walk and whenever she handed me something her hand would linger way past what is normal. Am I reading too much into it? I can never gauge. Should I say something? Should I make a move? I have never initiated anything in my life. I have no idea how to do it. Should I tell hubby first before I do? I don't want to lose him, but I do want to pursue this. I can't get anything done at work. It's driving me crazy... Help?
  16. Before you were fully comfortable being bi, how would you have reacted to a close female friend telling you they like you? A friend you never thought of in that way. I am trying to think back to what i would have done. I think early on i would have been confused and scared, just like i was when boys told me they liked me. And probably ran away. Later on when i was just figuring it out not sure what i would have done. Maybe said i was flattered but don't feel the same way. Maybe been curious. Not sure. Now i can't think of a single friend i wouldnt give it a try with if they felt strongly about me even if i never thought of them that way. My thoughts on sex and emotions have evolved massively over the years.
  17. I am feeling quite lost right now. One of my best friends has suddenly stopped replying to my messages completely. I know she's okay because she is still posting things on FB. I would just let things go but it came kind of out of the blue. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding and organised my hen party. I last saw her at her birthday party where she danced with me and chatted to me a lot. My question is - should I try to contact her again or give up? I have been a bit dull and ill recently and she is quite lively and likes going out. I have been on a very high dose of anti-psychotics and anti-depressants for OCD and depression and I didn't tell her about it because I didn't want anyone to know. But it has affected my behaviour and made me quite languid and slow. I also have occasionally said things which are out of character which may have stopped her wanting to be friends. Nothing terrible, just a little odd and oversharing which is not like me. I don't really know what I would say if I contacted her. I guess I would tell her that I'd been ill but I wouldn't want to sound like an apology or as begging her to remain friends as that would be weird. Thanks for reading this. Any advice would be much appreciated.
  18. More to follow, just had to share. She is awesome, the friendship developed slowly, so happy! I have someone to meet and chat with. I wouldn't have had the courage to do this without all the support and conversations on here with all you wonderful people. Thank you!