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Found 22 results

  1. So I want to hang out and make friends, especially non-straight ladies lol. IF I ever get time - recently seperated from husband and have 3 kids! I am from Camrose, Alberta so not a big place. Anyone else from around here on this site?
  2. Hiya! just wondering if there’s any British ladies about? Would love to make new friends! I’m from Wales! Xx
  3. So, I had a conversation with a new friend today and I don't know what to say to help her. Her self image is so low that she doesn't even want to be touched tho lately she allow me. I can't start making compliments to her to make her feel good because she'll think other things and I don't want that.She opened up to me today more than normally and I can see she is desperate and on the verge to break. I tried to advise her about depression once and since then I can see her approaching me. I told her few things today but I don't know how to make her focus on the good parts. She is stuck in her past and can't get over it and I really want to help her.I don't know how to advise her to make her see that she shouldn't focus on her regrets and although it's not my job but her husbands, I'd like to make her change the way she sees herself. Any advice would be appreciated.
  4. I'm in South Devon, on a bit of a mission to find some friends. Having young children makes it really hard to meet people, other than the mummy crowd and that's not really my style. Plus it would be beyond awesome to meet other bi ladies and you can't just ask random people if they're bi haha! So here I am. Come and say hi if you're out there...
  5. Granted I am new here but I kind of feel like everyone here is in some form of a committed relationship. Not to harsh anyones vibes but I'm kind of feeling like I may be the only single person here. Everyone's been super nice and welcoming. Its just hard to relate when everyone's in a completely different stage then you. I have made some friends here but I haven't met anyone who is around the same place as me, 25 and single.
  6. Hello Ladies, I'm a brand new member and wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 53 year old bi-curious woman looking for a safe space to explore and learn. Thank you!
  7. So I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I have a thing for my best friend. We've known each other for 10 years, have lived together, practice our religion together, helped me raise my oldest child, and she even was there for the birth of my second. She knows I identify as Pansexual, and she identifies as Asexual. I would love to date her, we share so many interests, but she doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I don't know what to do.
  8. How I thought life would be 5 years ago if all my friends had babies without me: ME: Hey, you want to go on an adventure with me? FRIENDS: No way. We're parents and we hate adventure and don't know why we ever liked it. Bye! Come find us when you have your own kids and we can relate to you again! How life actually is now that most of my friends have had babies without me: ME: Want to go on an adventure? FRIENDS: Can I bring my kid? ME: Of course! I love that freaking thing! BABIES: *cuddling me and hysterically laughing for no reason* FRIENDS: Well let's go already! As my role model, Auntie Mame once said: "Life's a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death."
  9. Hey ladies, I am a 33 year old female from the Philadelphia, PA area. I have been in a committed relationship with a man for over 12 years now. I have had a couple experiences with women and he knows. I have not shared with him that I certainly identify myself as bi. I feel like theres a part of me that is missing. He would see any physical relationship outside of ours as cheating and I cant say I blame him for that. I would never want to hurt him he means the world to me.. I think of being with women every day. just not sure how to handle my feelings and hoping to find support and guidance through these forums.
  10. I am starting life over after a 15 year relationship with my kids' dad. I feel like I'm finally able to be myself and live my life how I want for the first time in my life. I came to this site to meet like minded people, share experiences, and make new bonds with people :-)
  11. I can only think of one friend right now that I am close enough with to actually hangout or vent to. Over the years it's seems like most of my friendships have drifted apart. Idk what happened but I am just not close to anyone now but my one best friend. It hurts when I see so many people going out with a group of friends. Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me because I try to make new friends, but it seems like it's so hard to do so. Every time I think I made a new friend, we end up drifting off and not being as close as I would like us to be. I don't wanna strain my only friendship by talking to my best friend every time I get lonely. I feel like if I had some more friends then I wouldn't feel as lonely as I do sometimes. Why must life be so hard? :( :( :(
  12. I've written about this girl many times. I met her over 3 years ago and have been crushing on her since. She began dating a guy friend of my husband and mine, shortly after we met her, and we've become pretty close friends since. As a quick recap, the second time i met her, she'd just started dating my friend, and we were at a party. At one point another girl friend and my crush were on the porch, and i walked out. The other friend immediately asked "[Ambrosia], if you were a lesbian, would you fuck [crush]?" right in front of her. I stuttered and said yeah, and sort of changed the subject (i wasn't out at that point). Later in the evening i heard my crush tell someone she was bi. So that was one of the first things I learned about her. As time progressed, she and i would flirt off and on, cuddling up to each other, prolonged eye contact across a room, her boyfriend making suggestive comments about us (including once asking her if I was "her type" and telling me to kiss her on two drunken occasions). More recently, she held my hand on the way home from a new years party, and at the end of January, initiated a drunken makeout session at a bar and which culminated in us planning to continue/go further once we got to their house, but the night got interrupted. Also, everything I've gathered from that night makes me think she didn't remember any of it. Anyway, that was at the end of January, and we hadn't discussed it since, although it's been eating me alive. I'm just too scared to bring it up. Anyway, we were at their house on Saturday night, and something about that night came up (unrelated to us making out). We were all discussing memory loss or distortion from that night, and she said the last thing she remembered was having a second drink (which was before she started making out with me) and then angrily walking home because her boyfriend was trying to crash a party of strangers when we were planning on meeting them back at their house (by the time we got there, she was mad so she went to bed, and he was puking outside). At that point, her boyfriend blurted out "I was positive [Ambrosia] and [crush] were totally gonna bang". I giggled and didn't really say anything, and she giggled and said "yeah, that will happen. When we're drunk". Then I said "yeah, I tend to get frisky when I'm drunk" and she said she does too. Then the conversion turned to something else. Argggh still no answers! Does she really not remember a single thing from the 2 or more hours we were all over each other, planning to go back to their house and have sex? Also WHAT "will happen"? She and I actually having sex "will happen"? Or just making out enough to make him think we're "totally gonna bang"? We've only made out once in 3 years, so it's not like that's just a thing we do anytime we're drunk. The only other time i kissed her was at her boyfriend's request more than 2 years ago, and it lasted less than a minute, didn't get hot and heavy (although it still turned me on) and definitely wasn't leading to sex. And do we HAVE to be drunk, or would she respond positively if I made a move while sober? My husband even noted the vagueness of what she said. He suggested if it ever happened again, to enjoy the ride, then towards the end, just ask her if i can kiss her sober too, or if it's just a drunk thing. Is that super weird? It's just driving me crazy. I don't want to freak her out if everything is just in my head. All of the flirting and cuddling and awkward convos being "just what platonic girl friends do", rather than a sign of mutual attraction. I don't want to prompt a serious conversation letting her know it meant more to me, if it was just a bit of fun for her, (or worse) a drunken mistake sure doesn't remember and might regret. But if she does regret it, why would she say "that will happen", essentially telling me she's down if she's drunk? AND DO WE HAVE TO BE DRUNK??? Any objective perspectives out there? I think I'm too close to the situation to read it clearly, and it's driving me mad. At this point, I could forget every other woman of I could just have her. But that's a scary, vulnerable place to be. I love her dearly as a friend and would rather endure the pain of silently wanting her than lose her friendship. But if there's a potential for more, I'd hate myself if I missed out because I was too scared to do our say anything.
  13. I think I am ready to make some friends in real life who are bi. But, I have no idea how to do this. I'm not looking for a relationship or a fwb, just would like to meet other women who are like me. How do I do this? I'm so afraid I'll be like socially awkward or something, I don't know.
  14. I went to the strip club with my ex-husband and a group of friends last weekend. Had a blast and got my first lap dance (well, back-to-back dances). The aftermath of this is having to hear judgmental comments about how I looked while at the strip club. Being there in that environment is one of the few places where I can be me. Where I can let my hair down and show that side of me. When it comes to women, the only person who I'm very bluntly honest with is my ex-husband; I'm able to talk to him like I write on this forum (that, in itself, is a work in progress- understandably). The comments I've heard after the fact have been the following: You looked like a dog in heat. No offense to the kids on the little yellow school bus, but you looked like one of those children who drool. You were drooling all over her (the stripper who danced for me). You're hooked (on the strip club). You looked so desperate to rush to the stage and make it rain for that chick who danced for you. And things of that nature. I've never had so many comments geared to my romantic life until I expressed my interest in dating women. And I'm a little over it. I almost feel like some people in my life take too much of an interest re: that part of me. They've never spoken this way until now, when my feelings, interactions, and social situations surround my romantic same-sex feelings. I still have residual shame and guilt regarding how I feel, as evidenced by the fact that if I check-out a woman who I'm unsure is bi/gay, remorse inevitably ensues. For me, I don't find it appropriate to look at women unless I know they have an interest in women...that doesn't mean I don't do it, I fight myself w/it all the time because I know that the fall-out will be me, beating myself up for it. I just don't recall anyone saying much about my sexual preferences, before. I know that by opening myself up to this, as with anything, will come comments and judgments, but I've always been this way. So damn frustrating for me, because this has been anything but a walk in the park. I def need to make more bi/gay friends...
  15. We met online (non-dating site), she's a bit younger, single, attractive, very chill. She is also bi-curious has only kissed a female in the past and said that experience was so-so as that female wasn't that good at it. She's cool with me being in the entertainment industry, she finds it hot. We've been flirting heavy for months now! In the beginning when we first met she had a bf that was mistreating her and I was there to support her and she leaned on me and then had the courage to finally end things as she naturally deserved so much better. She was also gearing up for a very important job interview at the time that she was nervous and doubtful about. She not only wanted me to help her with what to expect, types of interview questions etc but also support her thru it. Her own bf didn't even ask how it went and she voiced her frustrations to me. They had been together for 1-2 years and we only had been chatting a month or so. It was the summer so we chatted everyday. She went back to school in the fall so we didn't chat as much but she did invite me to her place to have a drink and some cake (I love cake) for her birthday and also she let me know where she was gonna be for New Years as if to say please show up there. We are located in the same region, but I wasn't able to do either with my schedule unfortunately. I definitely wanted to and she knows this. She doesn't know I'm married tho. I usually say upfront but with this situation it kinda never came up (she never asked) so now I'm not sure how to as she may get upset, jealous. She joked one time that I'm a player which I feel she may view me as based on the industry I'm in...she may have some insecurities with that. She always lets me know she misses me and lately always puts "xx" at the end of her messages to me. As I'm learning more about this whole new area it seems like we could already possibly be somewhat in a relationship...? Thoughts...
  16. I tried a Blog ages ago and I didn't like it, but I'll attempt another. It's about a girl I knew years ago when we were teenagers. Her name I'll refer to as just R. We grew up in and outback town in Western Queensland. A small town of about 300 population. In those days there were NO internet, No Mobile Phones and No TV until 1980 which was only the ABC from South Australia. The local schools were a Catholic School and a Government School we refer to as a State School. Both schools only went to Primary or year 7. Kids had to go away to Boarding Schools or try Correspondence Schooling. I went to the Catholic School and R went to the local State School. We didn't really know each other then but after we had finished school about aged 17 we became friends. Our fathers were 2 of the 3 local builders in town. Her father was an Odd man, there was always something that I didn't like about him and I felt uneasy around him. He was very strict with R. She wasn't allowed out much but he trusted me, so we went to the movies sometimes. Her mother was an alcoholic and rarely came out of the house. We both got boyfriends at about 18/19. Her bf was a strange guy as well. He seemed to be a bully and not a man I liked at all. He was 13 years older than her, but she was happy, so I was happy for her. They were to be married and I was to be bridesmaid and my bf, who was 20 years my senior, was to be best man. They were to be married in our capital city of Brisbane, which was a full days drive from where we lived. After me and my bf got there, we were told we weren't wanted, they had changed their minds. My bf was furious as we had to get time off from work etc. So we left, and that was the last time I ever saw her. I was heart broken. Then about 2 years ago nearly I got a Facebook friend request from her. I was stocked as it's been about 31 years since I've heard from her. We emailed nearly everyday. He husband had treated her so badly. Bashed her etc. She eventually divorced him and had to disappear, No one could know where she was. Later she meet another man and had a kid, that split up. Then she got herself a black belt in Taekwondo as she was determined no man was ever going to bash her again, but, it happened again. This time it was worse. Bashed, broken jaw. I sat reading her emails with tears rolling down my face. How could this lovely, innocent girl I once knew be treated like this? To her it was all now in the past. She said she was glad we had got back together as friends. She said she loved me as a friend and we would never be separated again. Our fathers both got dementia and were in nursing homes, which now they have both passed away. They both passed within 3 months of each other. Then about 6 months ago, I got an email from her saying she didn't want to be friends anymore. She said I was too controlling and she didn't want to be controlled anymore ever. Wtf was she on about? I emailed back, but no reply. I've emailed a few more times over the last 5 months, but no answer. If I ring, she won't answer. I don't get it at all. There has to be an explanation. I had told her I had had a fling with a woman. I thought this may be the reason as she is very straight. I had told her in an earlier email about it, and she didn't mind at all. Who wants to be straight and cop that sort of abuse off men. This is something I think about often and wonder why she would cut me off after being in touch for so long again. Just goes to show, we never know what is in someone's head really. I hate not finding the answer. I find it hard to just let it go without knowing what I've done wrong. Maybe my love is just too much for her as she hasn't known real love and friendship. I understand she is straight, and I'd never risk losing a true friendship because I had stronger feelings. It hurts so much.
  17. This is probably the most emotional post I wrote so far on Shy - I usually do not like to write while feeling emotional but I need to get this off my chest. All my life prior to my marriage that took place 8 years ago I lived fully. I had lovers, women and men. I have experimented sex, love, passion, and other more specific pleasures - and I can say I feel extremely lucky and grateful I could. It did help me lead a rather peaceful marriage (to a man). I guess as we got married to an older age than average, we both had lived a lot before this union and we both benefit from it (many temptations were fulfilled already). One thing I noticed from Shy is how many of us ladies, have crushes on female friends. They sometimes if not often are not bisexual, nor (or barely) bi curious. They leave us in that case, rather not satisfied and not fulfilled. And I am one of those. Or should I say, as of today: I was. I met this woman a year ago - I wrote quite often about her already. Conservative marriage, straight, rather refrained, our small kids and hubbies are friends. From a powerful friendship I fell for her. My bisexuality that was dormant woke up. She may have been a little shaken and flirty at times, she may be bi curious, she may even be attracted to me specifically, which in fact I al quite sure about, but the amount of pressures she put on herself (education, society, marriage, gossips and her "buckling everything deep down inside" personality ) will never allow me to know much more. Except, based on experience, that I am pretty sure that not only her feelings towards me are more than friendship, but that she knows about mine. I have given a lot of myself into this friendship. I usually do with my friends. I always say, that friendship is a platonic love - and friends are our second family, the one we learn to carefully choose throughout life. I don't know who I would be without my female friends today! Someone less happy and less complete, surely. With her..I have above all, been around, as a friend - especially when her dad died recently after months of a painful agony. Being a friend does not mean you should expect a reward. But friendship does require a balance. To me, it's a moral commitment. But without reciprocity on the long term, it cannot work. And for the first time in a year, I feel treated roughly. Of course, I would not be hurt if I had no romantic feelings about her. I would only be disappointed. Today, I do feel hurt AND disappointed, as our friendship was our core and I thought it was real. She, is a more selfish type than I am. Not judging her on that - this is her nature. She will have a tendency to protect herself more by being more selfish. She is like a little oyster at times. Closing down and opening up very slowly and not for long. But I find myself realizing that not only is she constantly refusing to meet me since a few weeks, would it be for coffee but even with our kiddos ! - - it's a no no invoking very silly pretexts or even none but a "But I do love you..". And there is nothing I dislike more than being buttered up... Today she just proposed me to meet with another mum and our kids. And this was a huge huge slap in the face. We have not, her and me, seen each other once, one to one, since weeks if not months. Which I love doing with my female friends on a regular basis - because then talks get deep, confidences arise, trust develops. Now, I have had a few issues (life I guess) and I also realized that I could never open up to her about those. There was no spontaneity to do so, no way to reach out at her. Our communication may be daily and affectionate if not intense, but yet....something does not take off. It occurred to me that there will be no evolution at any level, and I think the reason may be this wavering - between a platonic friendship that still struggles to grow, and a romantic attraction that does not materialize. And the funniest part of it is that this is mostly my fault. She has at times, been blurry, incoherent, flirty, hesitant and I know she sometimes did or said things that to me are so easy to say or do but to her the introvert and hyper pressured from childhood, were a massive effort. Nevertheless I feel I have been projecting a lot on her. I am now closing down - refusing any offers from her to come, to meet under any circumstances. I feel this is what I need to do. I know this will become too extreme - but I don't know any other way. I don't know either, what to tell her when the questions will arise "what is wrong? What is happening to you? " as I know that in a maximum a couple of days she will not stand the silence. She never did. She starts freaking out and running back to me. Then comes the usual buttering Frenchie up, and Frenchie usually wipes the state clean and things go back to "normal". Thinking we had moved up a stair but it was never the case. But what is the interest of normality if neither the friendship nor the romance will really take off? And realizing, above all, that I thought we had a friendship she would give a priority to, like I did. And no, she does not. Today it's over - because it has never begun.
  18. Hi everyone! I know for many it is so hard to come out to people, even to really close friends, specifically straight friends. I have a friend I came out to back in the summer, a good long time friend, not looking for anything more than feeling I could share with her. Her response was awesome, and I was so happy I came out to her. We were talking daily, and then she started to back off. We still text but they are very direct, simple texts. She is having trouble with her marriage, in which she has been unhappy for years, and has some health issues. She says that when she goes through this she becomes introverted, and doesn't want to talk about it until she knows what she is doing. We haven't gotten together, we haven't even talked on the phone. Yet, when I text her that I miss her and hope she is well, she will say that she misses me too, sends me "xoxo", says she loves me (as a friend, of course).. She knows she can trust me...and I wish I could help her, but I wonder if it is really her issues or that I came out to her. I want to share with another straight friend, but this makes me nervous. On one hand, I feel that I can, but then I feel it will change our dynamics. I guess I won't know until I share, IF I share. Any thoughts?
  19. So first of all, I love my friends. I think I know some really fascinating, kind, intelligent, talented, and all-around amazing people, and I love spending time with them. I also like spending time alone once in a while, and so do they. This is all normal. While hanging out with my friends is awesome, where I start to get frustrated is in actually getting to the point where we successfully hang out. I feel like the more easy it should be to reach someone (with all the advances in social media and the fact that everyone walks around with tiny computers in their pockets), the less likely I'm actually going to get a hold of them. People don't RSVP to parties, or they RSVP and then don't show up anyway, or show up late and leave early. People don't return my text messages. They contact me saying, "We should hang out soon!" and when I try to specify times and locations, they fall off the face of the earth. I feel like I'm being ghosted by people I have known for over a decade. I was bridesmaid at their weddings. I held back their hair when they threw up at spring break. I attended their live performances, art openings or book launches. I helped them move. We are FRIENDS. I'm sick of feeling like I'm stalking my own friends, texting them over and over again like a clingy first date who won't take a hint that they're not interested in a second. But I also feel like if I just step back and let them contact me, I will literally go months without seeing anyone, because I'm not on anyone's radar as a priority. Unless they need me to help them move again. Does anyone else feel like this?
  20. I have been meaning to do this for awhile and so here it is...there have been a lot of things going through my mind and one of my main things is that I need to focus on me and not my job that I don't want but need for the money....I spend a lot of time at home thinking about work and that needs to stop.... Anyway. On to my mind- 1. This week is around the 7 year anniversary of when I realized I wasn't straight. I thought I was a lesbian with a crush on my gay best friend and we went to a fall dance together and it was after hanging out with his friends that I realized I wasn't straight...it led to an awkward week because I had that floating around in my head and even though he was my closest friend at the time, it was a struggle because I knew that if I brought it up to him, it would reveal my feelings I had for him... Well, fast forward a week and we had everything out on the table and were closer than ever, one of his friends told him I liked him and so he already knew... He was also the only one who said he was proud of me after I came out to my mom and so this time of year I start thinking about him and how our friendship started my self discovery.... 2. I need to create a work life balance and leave work at work. Right now I want a better job and have to find the motivation everyday to go. I have been applying for jobs and getting really good at the interview process and I am trying to focus on what I want instead of focusing on a job that I don't really like. Right now there is a lot of drama and people getting caught up in what another coworker is doing and I hate the fact that I am there mostly because I am there for the money and try to stay focused on my next job that I want. 3. It has been nice not thinking about my former crush- the one I have been blogging and posting about, I admit, I do think of him and now I am hoping that it continues not hearing from him. I feel it's good that I don't dream about him and don't even want to hear from him...I do check periodically to see if he has called only because I have had a few unknown calls and no voicemail. So who knows? About the only way he could get in touch with me is my work email and all I would have to do is delete that..soo..I am just glad that he is at another school that Is out of my area and that I won't be applying for...so that's one awkward situation off the list... 4. I'm also to the point where I focus on myself more and not so much others, although there are times that I get anxious around other people at work. Ever since I stood up for myself, the drama queen hasn't told me what to do like she was before. I stay to myself and do my job and leave after. I am also to the point where I don't mind keeping things to myself and having my own interests and not minding being different from people around me...well, that's kinda sorta...sometimes are better than others. 5. I am realizing that I keep thinking about women and have found myself checking out girls. I also have had the need to be more social at reach out online and start connecting with people at least online. I am limited to online as I get to know myself and would love to make like minded friends to chat with. I tried to keep things to myself before and it just didn't work. I figure the more I connect with others, it will help me to accept myself.
  21. So it has been awhile and I have been doing a lot of thinking and one thing I am realizing is that I need a balance between work and other things, a lot of my stress lately has come from focusing on work when I'm not at work and do more online. I am looking for a full time job and working on learning how to drive... And that is what I focus on. The one close friend I had has stopped texting me because she got busy with her new job and so right now I guess we are only friends on Facebook...I also am realizing that I need to put more energy on myself and do what I want..the same amount of energy I am putting into other people, needs to be put on myself. It has been about 3 months since I have communicated with my former crush. I do think of him from time to time, but that is severely decreasing from before and it's starting to feel really good to not hear from him. Although I have to admit a few times I have thought about texting him to share with him what I was going through job wise cause he has been in the same boat.. But I didn't... I am also wanting to talk and get to know people like me...I am trying to figure out how to do that,,
  22. This is just a question I sometimes have trouble with at times. Nothing to do with my sexuality tho. When it comes to people you work with, do you mix your private life with your work life.? Do you become friends with the girls you work with.? Or, keep work and home separate and never the twane shall met. I can be a very emotional person and put in 110% into everything I do, including friendship. I'm always there to help when needed and as I'm a giver, it makes me feel great when I've helped someone out and a good result has been achieved. Sometimes I let people into my private life so they can get to know me and understand me. It builds trust but... it makes me very vulnerable as well. Is there a line there.? Is it better to not get too friendly with your colleagues? A job I was in years ago, A lady told me to never think for a minute these people are you friends, they will take advantage of you when they get the chance. Do your job, do it well and, go home. I've never really followed that advice, as I thought it was a bit cold, but, I'm now thinking of doing that. Just wondering what other people do. I'd like to hear your opinions on this.?