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Found 1 result

  1. Hey guys, so I'm apologizing now for how long this is going to be, but I need to get it off my chest... So I've been married to my husband for 3 years now and together for 4 years. I'm 23 and he's 29 and I'm raising his stepchild as my own (I adopted her because her mom chose not to be in her life) and I love her to pieces and love being her mom. My husband has always been my best friend, but he's been different the last few months. It's hard to explain it, but he has gotten super controlling- like to the point where he's always questioning what I'm doing, why it's taking me so long, why I want to do things with friends, who is going to be there and exactly where we'll be going and when, etc. He's been getting crappy with me over stupid things, and accuses me of having an attitude with him when I don't have one at all. It is always random when his moods change and he gets shitty with me, but he's so up and down that it's exhausting. He has no idea that I'm into women and honestly if I ever told him I don't know if he'd even stay with me. A couple weeks ago I was hanging out with a mutual friend in our yard just talking (friend happens to be another guy, but we hang out all the time and we were out in the open in broad daylight and out kids were playing in the yard too so it wasn't like intimate by any means.) and having a beer and he texts me from inside to come in. I replied and said i'd be in in just a few minutes because I was visiting. He then got crappy and when I went in to grab another beer from the fridge, started yelling at me like he was accusing me of messing around. (It absolutely crossed my mind because this friend of ours was super good looking and had a thing for me, but I made it clear that I wasn't that type of person and that we could only be friends.) and yelling that I just want the single life and I don't want to be married anymore, demanding to know why I wanted to hang out with this guy, etc. He went so far as to back me into a corner and yell at me demanding "the truth" and he was in my face so much that I could feel his spit hitting my face. (note: I NEVER question the people he hangs out with or why he's going where he's going because he's never given me a reason to doubt him and I haven't given him reason to doubt me either.) I am very passive-aggressive and I walked back outside to cool off for awhile after that and he hasn't done it since. I don't plan on leaving because my step-daughter needs me and I've promised her that I'll always be around. To top it all off, he'll go 5-7 months without giving up sex or anything. I've tried lingerie, offering a threesome with another woman (I obviously wouldn't mind that lol), giving him a free pass to be with someone else, offering to give him a BJ (which he used to beg for) and asking for nothing in return even though he hasn't gone down on me in over a YEAR, I've tried ignoring him, being flirty, begging, role playing, talking dirty, being discreetly provocative by like brushing up against him and stuff.....nothing works. Nothing. We just had sex for the first time in 6 months, it lasted 5-10 min and he didn't even try to get off. During those 6 months, he'd wake me up in the middle of the night and attempt sex, then stop because "his back hurt", "his legs hurt", "he was too tired", and once, he let me get on top because his back hurt and right when I started to find my rhythm and stuff, he goes "are you almost done?" and I was like "Well, no..." and he goes "Well could you hurry up because my back hurts...you can go ahead and finish though..." and I rolled off of him and had to fight back tears because I have to ask him to like touch my boobs or grab me or do anything with his hands anymore. It's like he's there physically but somewhere else in his head. My emotions are all over the place because I love him so much, but he's all over the place and I feel like he's putting my sexual needs on the back burner to literally everything else and I hate that but I also feel like I'm being really selfish here. He gets SOO crappy anytime I even try to talk about sex or my needs or anything and he gets SO annoyed and says "I need to stop putting so much emphasis on sex/pressuring him and grow up"... I just don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life....I need advice.