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Found 87 results

  1. Anyone has a crush on anyone from Shybi? You don't have to tell us who it is, just yes or a no would suffice
  2. I posted these pictures in another thread, but I thought people might enjoy them in their own thread. Please feel free to add similar pictures that you find
  3. So I just have a question, if someone has been taking abuse through communication will it eventually turn physical?
  4. What makes Women Beautiful... Is it here soft flowing hair or her flush cheeks Is it here arched brows or the way her eyes blink Is it the way she speaks or the way she feels Is it the things she wears or her touch that gives you chills Is it the way she walks all grand and poised Is it the way that she smiles so full of joy What do you think it is that makes women Beautiful....
  5. Morning my beautiful sisters: I feel that if we unite-like here-with no pretenses or judgement we can be so intensely connected as women. I thought starting a stream of positive and empowering quotes, poetry, tattoos, art, videos, music would be a great way to connect and inspire us all while we navigate our journey's here. Much Love Zu
  6. Forever and me, Forever & us.... Well it's been a while since I wrote a blog. I'm glad to say that of late my need to spill my emotions into a blog have eased. I do love writing of my life, and of my journey to finding myself though. So today I really feel the need to put down on here just how I'm feeling. How amazing, how energised and how truly excited I am feeling about my, about our future. This excitement is all thanks to one thing I think. One thing I've unknowingly always searched for. And I've found it and I can't begin to express just how lucky I feel. This one thing is my new business, our new business. My lovely girlfriend discovered our new venture. As soon as she saw it she knew it would be perfect for me and I couldn't be any more grateful to her than I am for introducing me to this. The thing is, she sold this business venture to me like a true professional. She didn't think this would be her type of thing, she didn't think she could ever do this type of thing initially. Luckily I soon had her realise that she actually could 'sell' too. We could in fact do this together. She sold it to me after all didn't she? I've always been in sales. Even when I was working as a hairdresser in a salon I've always loved selling the products that I've used and loved. It's not selling to me, it's about sharing something you enjoy using with your friends and family. When I gave up hairdressing to have my family I've still always sold things, I sold Avon to my friends for fun, never made any profit but had a lot of fun with it. (Typical me to not think making some money from it and securing my future!) lol I then went back to work part time and sold photo printers for Epson. Oh I loved that job. Demonstrating and talking to people all day. I was then asked to join the team at PC World selling computers. Omg I didn't have a clue about computers but I learnt the basics and did really well. The store manager wanted me because I was passionate about helping the other clueless customers who avoided the 'geeks'. I could sell on their level and I did really well. It was a fun time working with a crazy bunch of lovely 'geeky' people. Then I found my dream job. I became an 'assistant manager' for a new Lush store in our hometown.... This was an amazing job, an amazing company with even more amazing products. I eventually also became a regional trainer with Lush. We then went on and took our little Lush store to No1. in the company. I loved my time with Lush like no other. My family had to live eat and sleep Lush along side me. Poor them.... I focused all my energies into this job and it paid off. We were so successful. My 'friend' was the store 'manager' but we were both in high regard with the people that owned the company. We were on a roll and doing a fab job. I loved the front end of this job, selling and motivating the team. On the shop floor selling. Being the face of what we sold was what I loved. My 'friend' did everything behind the scenes fabulously. She could focus on the stock and paperwork and getting our name out there. She would talk on the radio about our store, she had our products in lights in the town (all for free) and she had friends and connections in useful places. She was a market trader by nature and great at what she did. Lush loved her. What happened next is something that leaves me sad but not bitter. One day I just realised the time had come to leave....and so I did. Just like that... I left the job I loved more than any other ever... Sadly she wasn't the 'friend' I thought she was. But hey ho, time to go... . So I was out on a limb and looking for a job. And so almost 6 years ago I started working in Boots. I was a Christmas temp and they put me on the electrical department. The amount of hair dryers and straighteners I sold that Christmas was amazing. Being successful there in my temporary job led me to be offered the job as a full time advisor for No7. This is a great job in Boots. The training is good, the products are good and the team were lovely. Yes, I was happy to have found something to like..it wouldn't replace Lush, but it was good and I felt lucky. (They paid better than Lush though) This job has been my saviour in a way. This past 3 years the girls I work with have helped me through a pretty tough time. No matter how much I've been struggling work has been my way of coping. It took me out of my reality Mind you I now only work 3 days a week, That's more than enough on a counter as busy as we are. Our team were 'team of the year' last year. This is a huge accolade for our store and our team and something we were really proud of. But that means one thing....more pressure, more targets to beat and managers that always want more.... It truly is an exhausting job. Silly really when you think, we only sell a bit of make up and skin care. But the girls I work with make it all worthwhile. It's been a good job and I've enjoyed it. And now I look back on my life and I see a girl who has finally found herself. I am a girl who lives with a man but is deeply in love with a woman. And I now look back and see that my working life has just been something to give me something to do. Something to enjoy and have fun doing. My job in Boots is no longer quite so much fun and I realise that being so fab at something when you work for someone else doing jobs like I have doesn't get you that far. I never had drive or desire to look at myself and want for more.... I was always happy just working hard for others..... .......... Forever.... Well now I'm older and I'm wiser and I'm Gay. Yes being gay and being married to a man is pretty hard tbh. I want to be in a position to live my life for me. I need to be financially more secure. I need to be able to survive, to live and to enjoy a full and exciting life where I can be true to myself, where I can treat my family well and do the things in life we all want to do.... And my darling girlfriend has just gone and found it for me.... As soon as she saw this opportunity she just knew this was made for me....or maybe I was made for this, but she found it and she saw it in me.... It's an uncanny coincidence just how this came about and I truly believe this was written in our stars and sent to us. Sent for us as a way of helping us move our life forward, forward to where we both eventually want to be..... Tess's sister originally found this opportunity and liked the look of it immediately. Tess's sis is a bit like me, she's a product kind of girl. She likes 'stuff'. Lotions and potions are just her thing too. So Tess's sis had an evening to show her new venture and her new product range to her friends. Tess enjoyed the evening but as sat listening to the chat about these lovely 'very natural Aloe Vera' based products she just thought of me. Yes, Tess sat there and just saw this opportunity and she just knew it was perfect for me. A few days later Tess's sis showed Tess a link on YouTube. The lady who featured on the link is called Natalie. Now Natalie is the #1 distributor for this company. She has been working with Forever for 8 years and her mum has been with the company for 18 years. Being #1 with the company has given Natalie a pretty amazing lifestyle tbh. A lifestyle that would be beyond most people's wildest dreams. So Tess took one look at Natalie's face on this link she was watching and could hardly believe it. Natalie was a mum from her sons school. Tess never knew what Natalie did for a job, she was just a mum who she saw often at the school gate. And there was Natalie talking on this link about this amazing business opportunity with this amazing company. That was it, Tess just knew she had to tell me more. So she told me again about Forever and what it's given Natalie and her mum. She told me of the fabulous product range and all the health benefits that you can get from this companies amazing products. This company who grow, hand harvest, stabilise and manufacture the purest Aloe Vera on the market. This company that are truly ethical, still family owned and are only sold directly, through passionate distributors such as Natalie and her lovely mum and she told me again, just how much her sis was loving her new 'job'. Thanks to Tess It didn't take me long to see this was the perfect opportunity for me. All of a sudden I had a focus, a vision and a dream.... Omg I felt excited like I'd not felt excited before. I could do this, I could do this well AND I could be doing this for me....for us, and for our future... and then I thought to myself that Tess could be doing this too. And so it took me just a few words, a tiny bit of extra convincing to assure Tess that she could too 'sell' Aloe Vera products. I told her she had in fact 'sold it to me' hadn't she.... and yes, she saw what I saw and so, together we were off. We were off on the start of a path than I truly know is going to take us where we want to go and I'm excited like you wouldn't believe. Together we could do this. Along with her sis and a truly inspirational support team we were off. The support, the company and its history, and mostly the really wonderful products we sell are what make me so convinced of this. I feel I've waited all of my life to find something like this. Something that I can do with a passion, and a drive, and a determination that will finally give me the credit that my work ethic, our work ethic deserves. I can't believe that Tess has found me this opportunity, and I'm so happy that she has joined me for the ride. I'm just so excited about our future you can't believe. She calls me her little puppy. She loves my crazy enthusiasm and the way I give 110% all of the time. The way my head is so full of plans and dreams and just everything Aloe. I truly am Aloe inspired. She grounds me and supports me in her calm, truly lovely selfless way and I just know together, with Forever we really are going to fly..... .......... Thanks for reading this girls. I'm sorry it's soooooo long but I just had to capture a bit of what we've found. If you, or anyone you know, may ever want to hear a bit more about this inspirational company and the opportunity we have been so grateful to have found then please don't hesitate to pm Tess or myself. You never know, it could be part of your path too..... Tess thank you baby for everything, and for loving me like you do. We've just shared another wonderful weekend away, it was perfect and I truly love you ..... 'forever'.
  7. I scribbled this last night when I had some writers block going on...decided to add a background to it. A Woman, Rising.pdf
  8. So my friend and I have a history of telling each other about the sex we have had with our male partners. Lately, I’ve noticed a shift in the details of what we talk aboit it being more explicit. For example, she goes in detail about her body and how she felt when having an orgasm, how many times she orgasmed, etc. and different sex toys she thinks I should use. She has once told me that she felt sex was “overrated” and she felt it wasn’t a necessity in her relationship with her male partner, yet when we taking about it, she gets very explicit and it almost feels she’s purposefully trying to turn me on, but I’m too shy to let her know that. I also have mentioned some explicit things about my sex experiences with my male partner, but I’m wondering is this a sign that she’s also into me as I am to her? Am I over thinking this whole situation? My last topic (Help! I think I’m in love with my best friend) explains our history. I’m just so confused about all of this and I’m so scared of ruining the years of friendship we’ve had.
  9. Hello everyone. I’d like to see what everyone thinks about my situation. I’ll make the story as short as I can. My best friend and I have been close friends since the ages of about 13 (me) and 14(her). We were tight as glue growing up, we would have sleep overs at each others homes, go on different outings together, and practically be attached at the hip. Over time, I started to have feelings for her other than the normal “best friend.” There would be small signs of what I considered flirting between us like playing in each others hair, sitting on each others lap, cuddling together when we slept over, extremely touchy, etc. I just felt that there was so much sexual tension all those years, but I didn’t really know how to go about it. About 4 years after we met, I was about 17 years old, and I couldn’t handle not expressing to her how I really felt so I told her through text. I told her that I had had a crush on her for a while and liked her more than a friend. Her reaction was that she had also felt this way, but never was able to tell me for reasons I don’t remember. Side note: at this time her family had moved to a different state, so at that point, we were keeping in touch via phone/long distance. So after she told me about how she felt, we ended up having phone sex. At least twice. I don’t know how it started but it happened. After that, we never brought it up again. Our friendship still continued and fast forward to now, we’re in our mid twenties and still considered “best friends.” We are both in relationships with men and she has children. We see each other in person about a few times every other year, but still keep in close touch via phone, FaceTime, etc. The feelings we expressed in the past to each other has never came back up again. I recently saw her in person again and for some reason, all I’ve been thinking about is her and it’s driving me nuts! Part of me wants to mention the past and how we felt about each other, but the other part of me is afraid. I’ve never felt this way about a female, ever. I have normally considered myself a heterosexual female, but now I don’t know. Maybe bicurious? How should I approach her about the past? Should I express to her again how I feel about her? Do you think she really felt the same way towards me? Any suggestions?
  10. I am curious to know what the women in this forum want from a woman in terms of their bi relationships. Are you looking for casual sexual encounters, an emotional connection too, or a full-blown love affair? There are quite a few posts where people seem to think that they can control the emotional side of things once they begin to have a sexual relationship with a woman, and I'm sure many of us know that this isn't the case. Sex with a woman can be an extremely intense and powerful experience (and downright explosive!), very different from sex with a man (even one you are genuinely in love with), so it isn't to be underestimated. For those of you who are in more than one relationship and/or who are in a relationship with a woman who is involved with someone else, how do you handle jealousy and other emotional complications? I personally find navigating the emotional landscape of two relationships at once very difficult, and have sometimes felt consumed with jealousy about my lover being with her boyfriend/husband, even though I am with someone else too (I know, it's totally hypocritical, but it's very difficult to control this sort of thing...).
  11. Morning beautiful ladies! Over the years I have spent being a mom, working with high risk children and youth, filling all the roles and responsibilities set out on my path... The one thing that keeps me vibrant, that helps me thrive, that keeps me balanced and well is SELF CARE. Here are some ideas. I thought we could use this stream to share ideas of how we maintain balance in our busy, hectic lives.
  12. Follow me, she said This girl of 21 Follow me to bed And let's finish what's begun. Her hair like satin silk Her skin that burns my touch Her lips so full and begging me Ive never felt this much. In twilights gloom I cling to her As our breathing's slowing down. I know I'm never letting go To this magic love I've found. Artemis3
  13. I love it when my phone lights up and it's you calling or texting me again asking "wanna chat?". You live a stone throw away from me and never in a million years I would have thought that I would be so lucky! Every night we sit outside, have a smoke and talk, we can talk forever and a day and it still won't be enough. Mostly it's you talking 'cause you are such a chatty girl, but I don't mind, I'm a "love to listen" kinda girl, we fit together. I love listening to how your day was, who pissed you off and what made you laugh and all the time we keep that eye contact going. Everytime our eyes meet you give me that sexy little smile and I feel myself go weak. Eventhough I love listening to you, there are moments that I get so lost in you that I sometimes don't even hear what you are saying, I really don't do this intentionally but damn you're so beautiful. I try to concentrate so hard, but your brown eyes are so alluring when they sparkle just for me, the way you move your hair away from your face OMG I wish I could do that for you, your laughter makes my heart skip a beat and everytime you lick your lips I just want to grab you and kiss you like no other has kissed you before. The sexual tension and connection between us is so strong that I fear that when the day comes for us, I think I might just go out of my mind. I want you so bad it hurts in places that I never even knew existed. And then it's time for us to part. We go in for a hug and just for a second I swear it felt like you moved in for a kiss but we both nervously turn our heads and hug instead. A hug that lasts longer than it should.....and then you walk away and do that thing that brings me to my knees, you wink and blow a kiss and say: "see you tomorrow night"! Fuuuuuck, I just can't wait that long! I adore you my girl.........these nights make my days worth living for.
  14. *Fill in the blanks xx Example: 1. Love is....a song. 2. Love is...NOT selfish or easy.
  15. The BBC ask "COULD YOU LOVE A ROBOT" and explains at http://www.bbc.co.uk/guides/zqq6sg8 It has certainly got me thinking on several levels. Since I was a very small child I have often 'fell' for any robot or android that has been in films or TV programmes. I have wept human tears for some of their situations and actions. Robert the Robot in "Fireball XL5" touched me HAL in "2001: A Space Odessey" The robot in "Lost in Space" amused me a great deal The giant robot in "The Day the Earth Stood Still" both terrified and amazed me in it's undying faithfulness Data in "Star Trek TNG" totally reached into my heart and stole it on occasion in his need to be more than the sum of his parts to understand and become more human. If only humans tried as hard to be better humans huh? Robin Williams the eponymous "Bicentennial Man" campaigning to be made more human and getting his own rights to own himself This list is hardly complete... I confess that it has only ever been on an emotional level I have 'related' to these sci-fi inventions. I have never imagined making love with a robot or anything physical happening ever. I can say the fact that most have had male gender names has not disturbed me at all as I have not been interested sexually in any way. I think what I have personally related to is their need to exist and be themselves freely (but that's another story and diversion we do not need here). Lots of us develop relationships with machines. Every one of my cars has been named and I have cried when they have gone off to be sold or scrapped. I do not name my guitars but I refer to them as female (maybe it's the curves?). We make love to ourselves and others sometimes using "toys" we have no emotional connection to but certainly we do sexually. So the who robot thing is not quite as far fetched as the BBC are talking about. Morally and eithically I believe in physical and many non-physical relationships being consensual about all things. Yet I eat meat and fish, drink milk and digest cheese and eggs where the animal has not consented to what we do to it. Somewhere in my rationale, therefore, I fall flat on my face. The whole concept, therefore, of robot (android) relationships is fraught with moral and ethical questions. I have no problem 'feeling' for a robot or android but if I change that to having a relationship what would need to be in place first for it to have a remote chance? Well, consent would have to be tantamount. I do not want a robot (with specific thought to android) obeying my commands. For me there has to be sentience and a need for the robot (android) to want to take part. Being subservient or some kind of slave would not be acceptable to me for anyone (thing) I had a relationship with. SEx, as far as I can possibly attach thought to it just now, would not be part of the bargain. Yet, for the robot/android it may need to have sex to feel whole. Because se is not involved at this stage their gender identity is not so imprtant to me but could be to them. I think if some robot got all macho my ideas may change but, to date, I have not put greater thought into it. When people meet and fall in love they should in the least grow and evolve together. I would want no less with a robot/android. I don't want them to be a 'thing' and I would want them to have rights as to their own 'life' This is all beginning to sound crazy as I write this so I am going to leave it here for now and see what other members think. Over to you ladies for your thoughts and opinions if you have any
  16. I personally don't mind it. But what is your take on that?
  17. So as far as i have known all my life i have been attracted to guys, but it is also true that i never really had an emotional connection with them as i couldn't get myself to trust them and mostly i have been hurt and rejected by them. From last year since the age of 20 i went to this volunteering group and i met this lady there and i don't know we just connected. When she touched me i got butterflies, but it was different to how it was with a guy, she acknowledged that there was a connection, but she was married. I had these feelings for a friend once at the age of 18 but pushed them away. So at the beginning of this year i met another girl and the way she spoke, the way she motivated me i just fell in love with her and i wanted to hold her hand and just be with her i also wanted to kiss her, but i couldn't. I haven't even kissed a guy yet so why do i want to kiss a girl? i don't get it. I guess i am a bit bicurious, but right now trying to figure things out i also think once i kiss a girl i will know for sure.
  18. - I can't stop thinking about the incredible sex we had last night. You were unhinged, intoxicating, forceful, lustful. - The moment I felt your hands caresssing the curve of my back, my breasts, hips, waist, I knew I was in for a treat. You hauled me from the depths of sleeping and my body responded to every touch until my hips grew restless with anticipation pushing against you for more. - Your hands and fingers working their magic between my legs, inside me, forcing me to breathe harder and faster. You continued to work, determined to hear me scream and gush out until I pleaded for you to fill me from the inside. - When you finally decided to do so, I couldn't help but gush out again, and scream out. I met each continuous thrust rhythmically.. You wanted something from me.. I abliged... and you couldn't contain any longer coming with such force. My body still trembling from the orgasms... and now from feeling you release... I love you we heard each other say, as we drifted off into a wonderful deep sleep in each other's arms.. - Thank you again for last night darling. -Feel free to share yours-
  19. Lets hear it for the man! - or woman- what do you appreciate about your partner or partners? - I appreciate his emotional maturity.. I appreciate the little things - laughing together - his playfulness - his thoughtfulness.
  20. "The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity." – Ulysses S. Grant Hi Family, Today, I would like to talk about when you find a new love.........everything is running good/smooth on all cylinders, then life hits you like a semi-truck, at full speed! "Real life" like ill parents, mental health issues, depression, sick children, expensive car break downs in the middle of buck nelly no-place, friendship bloops and blips, job changes, personal health issues, divorce, financial challenges, and other crises that can strain and perhaps even break up an otherwise solid relationship. Nothing like life coming in and screwing up your good thing.........right? During mid-life though, when we are supposed to be living our best lives, these swift kicks up the pants can be extremely distressing (especially for us seasoned beauties). We are trying to get our grooves back (which is my interest at this stage in life), and here are these competing interest staring you in the face. In a new relationship, sometimes you question whether your new love will be able to stand all of your rain. Well in my opinion, in a loving, mature relationship................when one has a problem............you both have a problem. For those of us in shiny, new, relationships with no issues.........do you ever stop to think about what you'd do if you or your partner had life issues that prevented you from seeing each other, making love to each other, even talking to each other at times? How would you handle these unexpected competing interest? Do you/will you stand firm, or do you tuck your tail and run? Do you/will you gripe, complain, and add more stress? Are you selfish.............or selfless? Are you a giver..........offering love, kindness and support? Or are you a taker..............yet another person attempting to suck the very life out of the relationship and woman you claim to love and cherish so deeply? " The true test of a person's character is how they stand during test of adversity" – Unknown This year alone, my new partner and I (of only a few months) have had so many challenges, it's literally unreal. Our lives are in constant transition it seems..........all awhile we are still trying to get to know each other, love on each other, and learn one another. Some of these life challenges belong to us............and we own them (i.e. divorces). But then, there are those unexpected challenges that come from nowhere fast to interrupt what should be an otherwise smooth time for us during our getting to know you phase. Our attitudes are "no matter what...........we are going to ride this out so that we can be together." We have chosen to look at the entire picture, long-term..............instead of only looking at the challenging moments. We take time to check on each other, and we assist each other with our problems. Sometimes it's just the brainstorming on how to solve some of our challenges and obstacles that makes our love stronger. I am competing with real life, and I want to win. I want her to win too. I want US to win at all times together. I am of the mindset that if WE continue to be selfless and work as a team.........WE can win. There is no "I" in teamwork. We women carry so many burdens and bags it's a damned shame at times. And not just our own bags and burdens, but also the bags and burdens of our spouses, children, parents, extended family members, good friends, acquaintances, and/or our jobs.........................It's hard carrying all of those bags and burdens alone. If you're fortunate enough to have found "Ms. Right," and she's a good Ms. Right, then you understand her value and worth. You understand and appreciate her in ways that most men can't comprehend. Most men simply don't have the capacity to do so. You as a woman know how it feels to have carried all those bags for years all alone. I finally know how it feels to have some help carrying those bags now that she has entered my life. It's like she is a mirror of myself...............she treats and supports me in a way I have wanted and wished for for years. If you have one of these special ladies in your life and she's stepped up to the challenge instead of fleeing like a bat outta hell when life decided to compete, don't forget to return the love! One day.............it will rain at your house. It's nice to be able to have someone to bring an umbrella to the rain shower for ya! Be the partner or lover that you have always wanted and deserved. For those of us who have decided to put do away with Joe, and snapped us up a beautiful, sensual, strong, voluptuous, loyal Jane.............you better appreciate her. A strong, beautiful woman walking next to you during life's adversities in my opinion is better than money and gold. It can be very difficult to survive lots of curve balls in a new relationship, especially for us middle aged beauties. When life deals us competing interests that attempt to impede our new relationships.....be a contender instead of a quitter. Try being/thinking selfless, instead of being selfish. If she's weak...........you be her strength. When she's too tired to love herself..............love her. When they've sucked all the life out of her...............you be there to fill her right back up. That's what true love is all about. In return, she'll remember all of the love you gave, and pour into you during your weakest moments. Love is patient...........and love is indeed kind. One last but important note. These aren't instructions for ANY woman...................these are life lessons for THE right woman. This won't work for any gal............it has to be the right gal. Choose wisely ladies. When life competes............play to win. True love is too hard to find these days, especially for those of us middle-aged sisters recently embracing or bisexuality. Live free, love freely, but don't forget to carry an umbrella for the rainstorms. Take very good care of your lover, as she is also your friend! " Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them. – Publilius Syrus " Have a great evening! DIY Queen
  21. Hi Shybi Family!!!!!!! I am sure many women have been in enough relationships regardless of sex (hopefully more than one) to be able to decipher when a person's interactions with us means us good or harm. Today, I'd like to talk about we women being jaded (fooled) by politeness. A politeness so complimentary, nice, so disarming..................it sets you up to be betrayed. I have had been a victim of "politeness," disguised in many forms a few times in my life............by men and women. In terms of men.............it's the general scenarios where you meet some "nice" guy who's good looking, charming, charismatic................saying all the right things to get you. Whether it's to get into your pants or get your hand in marriage...........the guy clearly has an agenda (as you see later in the relationship). After sometime in the relationship you learn this person really isn't nice perhaps. Sometimes you learn the guy is a creep/pervert/sex addict. Sometimes you learn the guy lured you in for nothing more to take his mother' place in being his glorified maid, housekeeper, bed wench. Sometimes you learn the guy simply likes to control people.............you took the bait so you're it. Maybe he has mental health issues. A guy with multiple personalities, maybe he was bipolar or schizophrenic and on his meds when you met him...................polite and kind. He turned into a monster without them. Where oh where did that polite person go you ask yourself many a days. In any event, we end up in bad relationships with men sometimes because of their insincere politeness. Books have been written about men and their shenanigans. But it's the women that I would like to focus on right now. These same scenarios can take place regardless of sex. Politeness is a form of diplomacy..........easily disguised to ensnare an unsuspecting victim for personal gains. I have been straight jacked by some women in my life. I've also seen how we can turn our politeness on and off when it suits our needs. I've seen women use politeness to disarm and conduct absolutely stunning acts of betrayal. Like a high school best friend sleeping with my husband and sharing all of my personal secrets with him...............enabling him to come back and use them against me. Friends all throughout high school and she commits the ultimate betrayal. The same thing happened with another really good friend I helped a lot riding her around town in my car, having her at my home, breaking bread with her, even partying with her. She was nice, kind, mild, not the brightest apple in the barrel....................but she was smart enough, cunning enough, polite enough for me to allow her into my small circle to screw my boyfriend and fuck up my otherwise nice relationship. Nice right! I did all the things I was supposed to be, or so I thought. I was kind to someone that showed kindness. I was polite to people who were polite to me. I shared with people that shared with me...............I thought I had a firm grasp on protecting myself from being betrayed. Stabbed in the back. Pushed from behind by a ride-or-die friend or love. I was wrong. Being jaded by a woman can even be more difficult to get over than a man. We are supposed to have this invisible "sisterhood," regardless of age, sexual orientation, or ethnicity. We know how it feels to be poo poo'd on. We all have the horrible let down stories by friends and loved ones. But as a woman I must admit, being jaded and cut deep by a woman is so much more painful. Because most of us are sensitive, nurturing beings, it's almost inconceivable that a woman you're in love with could: Cheat Be Abusive (Physically, Emotionally, Sexually) Be Deceitful /Deceptive Act Selfishly, or Use Sex and Kindness as Weapons for Behavior Modification Yes my friends...............we women can be some ugly critters at times. If you haven't had the experience yet, count it as a blessing. If you have................I hope you have healed and moved on. I say all this to say that as women, we must be careful to not be jaded by politeness or early expressions of love. Sometimes when someone is being overly polite, there are motives to betray us. When people are about to screw you over, they aren't usually mean which would give us a heads up. They are generally nice to you, to get you to drop your guard before they stick you in your ass with a pitchfork. It's a form of manipulation. For women, it's a manipulation we women have been labeled with since the beginning of time.............back to Adam and Eve (for the religious). So ladies..............as you embark on your lady love journeys, be wise. How do you prevent being jaded by a new love or acquaintance (but can apply to anyone in general): Self-Awareness (Be Aware): Be aware of conversational moods. One minute you have red flags going off all over the place and hairs standing up on the back of your necks. Pay attention to people and their sudden or renewed interest in you. It's likely not you, it could be what you bring to the table. Over-politeness is often difficult to detect when meeting new people, so go with your gut. We women can be mean, vindictive, cruel, selfish, manipulative human beings. We can also be kind, beautiful, caring, compassionate, loving, attentive human beings. As we go throughout our lives experimenting, searching and finding love, and when it's not right for us...........letting go, please be go into (and out of) any and all relationships (casual, committed, or otherwise) with a do no harm perspective. Leave the woman (or women) in your lives better than you found them. Ladies, don't take her kindness for weakness. But the most important take away is to not allow another to disarm you, leaving you open to wounds. Have a wonderful week!
  22. Hello Mi Familia!!!!! Hoping you all are enjoying your weekends. After reading a few posts over the last few days, and have a few conversations with family and friends..........a resounding theme comes to mind. Words do matter. Words matter for a variety of reasons. Depending on how deep your thought processes are, words said (and even those unspoken) can give insight to a person's mind and heart. Words have more power than we give them credit for. We should use our words wisely as so to not wound or hurt others. Use Words to Build Up & Edify In relationships (especially in relationships with women), we must choose our words wisely. We can use our kind, thoughtful words to build up a partners, spouse, lover, or acquaintance, or we misuse words to tear each other down. We must be extra careful as women pursuing relationships with the same sex. Speak to others the way you desire to be spoken to. Speak to your partner the way you desire to be spoken to. Think of your love as a delicate flower in need of nurturing and TLC. Use Words for Correction (with care of course) At times in relationships, we must share words of wisdom. At times, we must use our words to make things right, to help make wrongs rights, and to have adult discussions about things that are not right in relationships in order to get back on track (if/when possible). Choosing the right words, the right tone, the right time, and the right place to bring correction is as important (if not more so) than the correction itself. Appropriate words should carefully and thoughtfully selected. As women, we are sensitive beings, and we should be treated as such. Use Words to Illustrate Love While the old saying "Actions speak louder than words" is true, we women NEED, NEED, NEED to hear kind, loving words from our partners, lovers, friends, companions, etc. In a world that tells us we aren't skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough, good enough, happy enough, rich enough...............we need to practice telling each other how much we love one another. If you are in a relationship, flowers, candy, trips, and jewelry are nice................but hearing a heartfelt "I love you" along with a great big hug and kiss frequently is EVERYTHING! At times, communicating love verbally is more valuable that all the money in the world (although money is nice). Take the time (more often than not) to illustrate your love for your significant other, children, and even family members using your words. For some, it's uncomfortable to say I love you, because of the lack of hearing and receiving love. If you find that this is the case.............practice saying to others what you wish you had been said to you. Use Words to Speak Life Not Death So many times we women are quick to tear each other up. We will gladly hand you a new ass...............especially after years of abuse, after a bad relationship, etc. I have been guilty of this a time to two. We can kill someone with one sentence. Kill a spirit, damage a heart, destroy an otherwise healthy mind. Be cautious when speaking while angry and during heated discussions. Words are easy to spit out............but our ears, hearts and minds can easily absorb such callous words, preventing them from being forgotten. Speak life..............don't be the person a lover remembers for the hurtful, unkind words spoken that killed her spirit, destroyed her spirit, and ruined her mind. Make Every Word Count At the end of the day.............words do matter! You have the opportunity to wake up every single day and use your words for good, and not evil to your love. Use your words to speak love and not hate to your love. Use words to speak life and not death to your. Use your words to help and not hurt your love. If you've been hurt by words (or lack thereof) from parents, a spouse, or a love and you have used words to carry anger, sorrow, hate, desperation...........change your words. Speak positively. Hang around positive people. Read positive self-help works. Enjoy nature, begin to heal and make the choice to speak love into everything you do, and every place you go. Write positive things about yourself, and tell your love about the positive feelings they evoke. You may only have one opportunity use your words............make the moment count. Choose love........
  23. Hello Family, It's been a long time since I've been here. A lot has happened in my life. I met a beautiful woman (here), and since the first time we made love..........things have happened fast. Nothing that we initially decided upon in the relationship rules has stood. We had a friend/lover (aka friends with benefits) kind of relationship that changed pretty much within the first 30 days to something much more than we ever anticipated. We have changed so much, but I am happy to be in this place right now. It hasn't been without bumps, bruises, and some drama.............but we are still here. I noted a few things about my journey about going from being bi-curious to bi-sexual and married, to bi-sexual and in a committed relationship with a bi partner. Hopefully my "Mid-Life Kink" experiences will inspire others. . Life Changes I am in love with my partner, and we have come out to a few of our close associates. We both have divorced, at different times and for different reasons (she initiated hers, my husband initiated mines).........I have moved in the short-term to another state (our already long distance relationship is longer...but we are putting in the work to make it work for us). I cut my hair...........new life, new hairstyle. Transition Transitioning and being bi (having been heterosexual, married, and have adult kids) is kind of difficult. I feel strange, but free. Deciding who to tell about my new partner, when to tell, and how much to tell is something I've never had to worry about before. As a free-spirit, open-being...........I have a hard time trying to explain to people about who I am now because of the homophobic rhetoric and cultural issues. Evolution I am evolving each day. Learning about my new beautiful partner. Learning how to share my life with a woman. Learning how to love and be loved by a woman (which feels so good I must say). We have so many things in common. She is a great lover and friend. Loyal and dedicated. I feel blessed to have someone so kind, thoughtful and most importantly is keenly aware of what this woman needs. It is so much different from being with a man............or a bad partner. I feel as though I am evolving into who I should become at this stage in life. I am sad that I didn't learn this about myself until I turned 45 years old. No matter the age, it is never too late to learn, change, and evolve. I am planning to live my best life now..........with her. Navigation It's been a very long time since I've dated. Having to get to know a person (and be vulnerable so that my partner can learn me) is challenging at times. I (we) have rolled up our sleeves and committed to doing the work. Learning how to communicate with each other, reading body language, listening for tone changes..................it feel so natural. Again, not like having to guess what's on a man's mind, what did he mean by his actions, etc? It's night and day...........but still the newness of navigating "woman speak" is new and an adventure to say the least. I am glad I have a patient, respectful lover and partner who is as vested in us as I am. Imperfectly Perfect It means just what it says. We are two imperfect people, attempting to have an imperfect relationship.............and that's PERFECT! Imperfect bodies (middle-aged women will know what I mean), imperfect lives, imperfect characteristics. We are flawed. We know it, we appreciate it, and we respect these things about ourselves. We live day to day, and we don't place any undue expectations on each other or the relationship. We are able to live our lives, learn about each other, and cultivate the relationship. Stop looking for perfect, it does not exist. Perfect for you does............go find it. Sex The sex is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is AWESOME!!! We try new things, we sext, we have the some of the same "risque" desires which is so liberating. No boring...........conventional, missionary sex! We are spontaneous and we both like that. We are hitting on all cylinders in the sex department. I discovered her honey hole..............and I haven't looked back. Can't stop...............won't stop! Middle-aged sex is the best sex of my life! Friendships Since we have come out to some of our friends...........we have received mixed reviews. Some long time friends are happy..........understood how miserable we each were, and approve of our happiness. One or two of our friends (hers) are confused.......are more concerned about marriage facades, children unable to bounce back from divorced parents..............financial implications rather than emotional well-being. Then we have long-time friends who are territorial about another female taking her place, wanting to know how they and their friendship is going to fit into this new relationship situation. My bestie imposed physical contact preferences so that "she" wouldn't be uncomfortable. Who does that? Another friend of my partner is jealous because now my partner isn't as "fun" and "available" (the friends' words) as she used to be. As long as she and her friend were able to vent about how horrible their marriages were, it was fine. Now that my partner is deciding to take a risk and do something with her personal life (besides wallow in misery), her friend is can't deal anymore. Each one of us (my partner and I) had a friend that was kind of upset because we weren't sexually attracted to them.........go freakin figure! While the good coming out situations were good, the bad situations were (and still are) really taxing and draining to both of us. If I have rules, then she too has rules. If her friends are unhappy, which makes her unhappy, then I too shall be unhappy. I had no clue women could be so bitchy and territorial when their friends come out as Bi or lesbian. These situations have really opened my eyes to how selfish, mean, and territorial some women can be to their bi-curious and bi-sexual friends. Still learning how to navigate these minefields. but we aren't letting anything deter us. You'd figure at mid-life you'd be done with childish shenanigans.............the actions of people never ceases to amaze me. Communication I have learned how vital communication is again. After being in a long marriage where I wasn't able to share my feelings, I am in one where I can share any thought I choose. I am finding out how important communication is, especially in a long distance relationship. Communicating throughout the day maintains our emotional and mental connections, even when physical connections/intimacy isn't possible. I value and treasure my communication channels with my new love. If it ever changes,,,,,,,,,,I will know there is a dead cat on the line! At this point in my life, I've learned that communication is vital for relationship sustainability. Stop talking, the relationship dies. Period. And lastly, Vulnerability I have had to learn to be vulnerable. Having been a foster kid...........I had learned to detach and not show feelings or emotions. It was a coping mechanism. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. With my new partner, I decided even before finding her.............I wanted a partner that I could trust. One that I could be vulnerable to and with. I have had a few moments that I had to allow myself to be vulnerable to my partner. She was right there for me. Supportive all the way, all awhile understanding how different and hard it was for me. I appreciated that about her.....and it made me love her even more. It's going to be a long road, and a slow road, But I am happy to be on it. She has a good spirit, and the right spirit. I know deep down I made the right decision. At this stage in my life I have withheld my feelings and emotions, cared for others and been neglected. I now what I have so missed. I am happy thus far with myself. Again, I don't have any expectations, I just know what I need. I am pleased with the results. I hope those older women here on Shybi are able to find and enjoy this other side that has been dormant for so long. Live, laugh, and love. Take a risk, and don't beat yourselves up if you make the wrong choice. This is a great place to learn and teach. You are not the only one feeling the way you feel. Congratulations for taking steps to achieve your happiness! Middle-age doesn't have to mean death........................it could be new life. Best Wishes, DIY Queen
  24. How Did I Get Here? It's been a long journey. Raising siblings, baby sitting my mom's friends' kids, my own kids, my children's friends. Seems that I have spent nearly my entire life caring for others. Freely (and sometimes under duress) giving of myself to the betterment of others, all while slowly depleting myself. Having been married for sometime, I slowly came to my own personal conclusion that married life after a couple of years isn't so rosy like the movies portray. I've done all the things society says I need to do, and yet.............I am still unfulfilled. Life became routine. Love became obsolete. Lies became the truth. Truth is a fairy tale. My nest is empty. My marriage is stale. All intimacy has ceased in my home, and in my marriage. Can't tell you the last time I've had a meaningful hug. A passionate kiss. Nothing done with intention on my behalf. I'm super woman. The maid. The cook. The secretary. The scheduler. The attorney. The tax preparer. The wife..........the help. I was tired........and worn out. Drained. I'm an after-thought now to my husband. A staple. A piece of furniture. Something that needed to be maintained, but unused...........kind of like a piece of exercise equipment. The thing that bound this marriage, is the same thing that has broken it. Here in this place, there was blackness, brokenness, death of a lively marriage that once was, and oftentimes.... despair. And then she came into my life. She is my Queen D. She came into my world like a swift wind. Like an ocean breeze. Gently, yet lovingly wiping years of neglect, pain, and disappointments away. She's never kissed me, never touched me, but somehow, in some funny way.........she's made me complete, I can feel me becoming whole again. I've fallen in love with her. Her love and kindness causes tears of joy. I can't explain why. Her voice relieves my stress. Her messages and calls make me smile. She has given me the life no one else cared to ensure I deserved. She is my oxygen, my AED, my life support. I don't know how I survived so long without her. She's made me re-evaluate everything about myself, and my life. We both are married. No one knows about this extraordinary love............ I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I want to take care of her, lovingly. The way committed partners should. In her I have a friend, a confidant. Having her in my life is a breathe as fresh air. Where did she come from? She's swooped in and saved me like a super woman. My own personal shero. I just love her so much. She sends me songs that reminds her of our new love. Our songs speak to my heart and to my soul. They speak words neither of us can't quite come up with to describe this love. This is no ordinary love. It's a love that's quite divine. It's slow-burning, yet intense. It's deep running, and earth shattering. It's the kind of love people only dream of. The kind of love I thought did not exist until she came into my life. I'm happy she's here. My life is more tolerable now. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. How did I get here? How did this happen? A straight, married woman falling in love, hard another woman. It's been a long, wandering journey. I'm happy to arrive here. I'm comfortable in the skin I'm in. I am me, and this is who I am now. I'm preparing myself for my beautiful Queen. My Queen, she's beautiful, she's strong, she's wonderful. All the things I need, all the things I ever wanted. All the things a man could not be for me. Intellectually delectable. Spiritually delightful. A site indeed to behold. In all my years of living, dating, falling, marrying..........never has a person touched the places that she's touched. She is my healer, my private hedge of protection from this cruel world..........and cold uncaring people. I will care for her, and she for me. And THIS is the way it will always be. I can't wait to see her. To kisser her. To hug her, and to love on her. My best I shall always give to her. Here is where I am, and here is where I want to stay. With her by my side, I can conquer anything. My Queen is my little secret, and treasured place in my heart, until it's time to share her with the world. I can't wait to reveal her to the world, so that I can give her the love, kindness, and commitment she deserves. She is my happily ever after. My forever and ever. She's my new beginning, and my end. I can't wait to travel this new path. A new road, with my new Queen. * Name was changed to protect privacy
  25. This episode murdered me. All of it. Especially the love lost between Bill and Heather. OH MY GOD Also... somewhat like Waters of Mars? Like.. same "monster", totally different resolution? But still. I'm super excited about a lesbian companion.