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Found 27 results

  1. This is a spin off from a different thread that sparked an interesting discussion. Some argued that being in a polyamorous relationship is the same/similar to having an affair, which then sparked the idea that given certain circumstances cheating or having an affair can be justified. I disagree with both of those statements. Let's open the floor to everyone else: A) is having a relationship outside your relationship still cheating even if your partner knows, consents to your extramarital relationships? B) are there situations where seeking intimacy outside your relationship without the expressed given consent of your partner ok? Aka is it ever ok to cheat? And other such questions. Discuss.
  2. So... It's been about six years since I came out to my husband. Only in the last year or so have I been truly honest with him about my intense attraction to women and my need to act on my feelings. Any time I talk about it, he seems to fall apart or we fight. Since then, I've become completely unable to connect with him sexually. We are affectionate. We kiss and touch and cuddle. But every time we start out with sex, my body seems to say 'no.'" Add to this that about six months ago I slept with a friend, it was brief and amazing, but we ended it because neither of us wanted to hurt my husband. Now, I have an even more difficult time connecting than before, and although my encounter is in the past, I still think about it all the time. Honestly, this has gone on so long it has me wondering if I'm really just gay. But then, my husband and I did have some pretty great sex back in the day. Have any of you had difficulties connecting with your husband physically? Is there anything that helped?
  3. Hello everyone, I am 38 and I have been married for 12 years. While my husband and I have had minor ups and downs, we have had a monogamous and happy relationship. We do not have kids (grad school kept us way too busy). Anyways, I had one intense relationship with a woman before I met my husband, but other than that my experience with women is quite limited. I am equally attracted to both men and women and my husband knows about it. He has never suggested a threesome, but he never talks about my sexuality either. About 2 years ago, I met one of my husband's co-workers. We struck up a friendship, talked about politics and places we have lived, etc.. I realized fairly quickly that I was the only person in our circle of friends whom she told that she was bi. I did not tell her about my experience right away, but I definitely enjoyed being around her. She recently moved to an adjacent state and has been messaging me/ inviting to come over to her place. My husband is not invited. I have super strong feelings for her and I really do not know what to do. She has had a lot of experiences with women, and she lives in a very LGBTQ area, so I am just wondering, is she inviting me to her house as a friend or she is she interested in more? She has made a lot of friends in this new town, so I do not think that it is an issue of her being lonely. She is extremely busy and very successful, so her schedule is always full. However, in her messages she says "come and visit any time" . I am afraid to ask her is she likes me just as a friend, because I am terrified at the thought I may lose her. I told my husband that I have feelings for her and he took the news fairly well. He asked me if I slept with her and I said no (truth), but after that convo he never brought up the topic. He knows that we are in contact, but that is about it. I love my husband and he is a nice guy. But, I love this woman too. Question for you ladies: Is this woman interested in me? Is she inviting me over as a friend? What the heck do I do?
  4. ` While the question is in a general sense, since SSM is now legal; if you met a girl you loved......and she was bisexual the way you are, would you marry her (if you could) ?
  5. Hey ladies! I am an older member, meaning I’ve been on the site for several years now. I tend to come and go. I haven’t been actively on for about a year now. But here I am again, struggling with my thoughts and emotions, and just needing some advice and support. A little background since most of you on here don’t know me. I’m married and have kids. My husband knows I’m bi and has never really been okay with it. I came out to him many years after we were married. Mostly because I was in denial myself. A while back I cheated on my husband with a woman. We are still together but he is still not over it. Since then I’ve been trying to be the good, devoted wife. But I’m not happy. And I know that part of the reason I’m not happy, among other things, is that I still want a woman in my life. My kids are younger, and I don’t want to destroy our family and leave my husband just so I can give in to these desires. But I also don’t know if I can live like this for the rest of my life. Always wanting something I can’t have. Always being scrutinized. Never being trusted to have any friendships with either men or women. Even at work. Never having a life of my own. Never again feeling the loving, soft, sensual touch of a woman. What I wish I could have, and know I never could, is for my husband to be okay with me having a female fwb. But since that isn’t a possibility, I’m stuck fantasizing about it, and driving myself crazy! What do I do? How do any of you that are married to men, deal with it? Sometimes the desire is so strong that I find myself thinking about cheating again. (I know that sounds horrible) Does anyone have any insight or advice to offer me?
  6. I am bisexual.. I have always had an attraction to both men and women. I have never been in a relationship with a woman, other than friendship and some crushes.. which left me crushed. I am happily married. I met my husband 6 years ago this month. I was open to a deeper type of relationship at the time and looking to settle down. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we are pretty perfect for each other. - We work together as parents and as a couple which is very important to me. So, why do I feel like I still want to be with a woman sexually? - There are times, when it's an overwhelming sensation.. I can't stop thinking about meeting someone in a similar situation and having a sort of "friends with benefits" - "girlfriend" - I even have a difficult time describing it. So can you have both? Can you be happy in your marriage and still be attracted to women? Is this what being truly bisexual really feels like? A tug of war where you find yourself one day looking at a man and thinking "wow.. he is hot." And then another looking at a woman and think "she is so beautiful or sexy." - although 90% of the time I end of having more sexual fantasies when I see a woman than a man. - Perhaps it's because I haven't been sexually with a woman in so long.. - sometimes I just feel a bit lost.
  7. For those of you who are attracted to women, how do you handle being married to a man? Do you have "arrangements" with other women? Do you cheat? Do you fantasize? Do you love your husband so much you don't need to have a woman in your life? I actually like women more than men, but I'm having better luck dating men for some reason and am starting to wonder if I want to marry the guy I am dating now. I feel very happy and sad about this...I think nonstop about women, but I also love our relationship. I am not the type to have the internal stability to have an open or poly relationship. He doesn't want that either, and he knows I am bisexual.
  8. I'm was sat on a train, a train that will take me to meet Tess. We were flying off to Greece and I just couldn't wait. I really needed to recharge my batteries, I needed to have a rest and mostly I needed to indulge myself in my gorgeous girlfriend. Yes, I really couldn't wait. I'm leaving behind everything and everyone and thankfully it all feels good to do so... A chance to step out of my world and enjoy some sunshine, some swimming and some love and romance with some Greek 'Olives' and some deliciously sweet honey.... Yes, I couldn't wait. This last 20 days have been a huge rollercoaster ride of emotion with Phil and I. After the holiday in California I've struggled hugely. 15 days ago we had a big fall out. Big by our standards anyway. The next morning I wrote him a letter. I had planned to save the letter to read to him sometime soon, sometime when the time felt right. I wrote about how I was finding all if this just so difficult. I wrote of how I could see and feel his sadness but I was so sad and unhappy deep inside too. I felt the time had come for me to take a step, take a step towards us separating as I had to think about my happiness too now. We both just seemed to be so miserable inside, so inside ourselves. I honestly couldn't see a way forward for us as a couple and I felt the time had come for me to think about me....I just keep doing what I'd tried so hard to do. Keep my marriage going while holding onto what I'd found with Tess and myself. What I'd found deep inside me. I felt I honestly saw us being better friends than husband and wife and I felt, as a family we would all feel happier and closer again. Well as it turned out, that very same day I wrote him that letter he asked me 'what was up'.... I couldn't put it off any longer and so I told him. We sat and talked. What I told him was nothing new, he'd heard it all before. But I then read him the letter I'd written. Reading my own words was easier. Telling him we needed to move our lives forward separately was easier, reading from my letter. And he listened and he knew that he had to finally let me go.... There were no tears this time, just the weight of sadness and resignation maybe..... That night my youngest daughter came home and he told her I wanted us to separate. We had both talked with her about this before and so she was upset but not surprised. She knows and see's we aren't happy right now and she understands. It was hard seeing her not know who to comfort first. There were no tears on our part but an obviously visible sadness. I really felt for her at that moment as a few tears slipped down her cheeks... The next night we went to tell our eldest daughter. She was quite emotional. A bit angry, a bit sad, and also concerned for herself and her little family too. Her husband was visibly sad. He later told us he has felt we were his role models. He always said he would always strive to be like us.... He was just in a state of utter shock poor lad. I had told my eldest daughter about 'me' a few months back but she hasn't acknowledged it or shared that information with him at all. She is so like her dad you wouldn't believe. Bury her head in the sand and pretend it wasn't even mentioned is her style. I've tried telling her she needs to open up a bit more and not keep everything inside. I hope she can learn something from this. I had to sit and listen to her lectures about how hard it was to rent, how difficult it was to go it alone and how mad I was. All the practical things were the things she was worried about. Our eldest is so practical, just like her dad. Our youngest understands more though as she understands the emotions I feel and how I've struggled. It is a comfort knowing one of my daughters understands me. The next day my son in law sent me a few texts saying how upset my eldest was and how much he is hurting too. This was hard but I knew they had to deal with the shock and I just had to read these texts and deal with their words....he later apologised for his texts bless him. I totally understood his worries and sadness. On the outside we look like a perfect couple. He was feeling at a loss and hugely concerned for Jo too I'm sure. ,.......... And so now I felt a calm wash over me somehow. I now also felt the time was right for me to move into our single bed. I'd tried this before after I'd been struggling, I had only managed the one night in there that time. Now I feel so at home, so relaxed and so at ease in my single bed I just knew the time was now right. It's just lovely having my own space. You can certainly not accuse me of rushing or making hasty decisions. Lol ........... Now I'm home from my holiday with Tess. We had the most amazing time. It was exactly the holiday I envisaged us having tbh. Wonderful, fun, romantic and full of very special moments. (See previous gushy blogs. Lol) Now I'm home and it was nice to feel comfortable slipping into my single bed again. I held no guilt or feelings of awkwardness at being there alone. It feels like the right place to be. My hubby told my brother and his partner while I was away. He told them about Tess and me being gay. I doubt he has told them too much about our struggles we've been through over the past few years but in time they will understand more I'm sure. So right now we are living together as friends. Friends who can live in 'our' house very cheaply. We are there for each other for family things and practical support. We've made plans to separate our finances a bit now which feels odd. I'm going to have to be looking ahead as to how I can support myself independently. We've no dependant children now so I need to find a way to earn some more money I think. Lol But It's Father's Day on Sunday and I really hope we can all be together and enjoy a family day in the garden. It's things like that will help my hubby I think. Help him feel, for now, it's worth us staying and living like this. He needs to find things to help him move his life forward, I know I have and it's a wonderful feeling. My mum and dad are going through a lot atm and it's going to be a tough time. My dad is a wonderful wonderful man and I love him so so much. He had his op on his colon but sadly the cancer that had spread to his liver couldn't be operated on at the same time because it had grown. They are waiting to see what the plans are now. Whatever lies ahead I just know it's going to be a tough time with them somehow. So that's a quick update on life as I know it. Most of this was written before my holidays with Tess. I find it a good way of holding onto my memories and my feelings. Every day brings a different emotion and struggle for all of us but I'm still looking up and looking ahead. Today the sky is beautiful, completely cloudless and clear deep blue. However I always think that a few fluffy clouds can add to the beauty of the day. But if we have a day of dreary dark grey we should still look up and ahead and know there is a lining of bright shiny silver twinkling and waiting just for us. Thanks for reading girls. Your comments are always appreciated. xxx
  9. Hey guys, so I'm apologizing now for how long this is going to be, but I need to get it off my chest... So I've been married to my husband for 3 years now and together for 4 years. I'm 23 and he's 29 and I'm raising his stepchild as my own (I adopted her because her mom chose not to be in her life) and I love her to pieces and love being her mom. My husband has always been my best friend, but he's been different the last few months. It's hard to explain it, but he has gotten super controlling- like to the point where he's always questioning what I'm doing, why it's taking me so long, why I want to do things with friends, who is going to be there and exactly where we'll be going and when, etc. He's been getting crappy with me over stupid things, and accuses me of having an attitude with him when I don't have one at all. It is always random when his moods change and he gets shitty with me, but he's so up and down that it's exhausting. He has no idea that I'm into women and honestly if I ever told him I don't know if he'd even stay with me. A couple weeks ago I was hanging out with a mutual friend in our yard just talking (friend happens to be another guy, but we hang out all the time and we were out in the open in broad daylight and out kids were playing in the yard too so it wasn't like intimate by any means.) and having a beer and he texts me from inside to come in. I replied and said i'd be in in just a few minutes because I was visiting. He then got crappy and when I went in to grab another beer from the fridge, started yelling at me like he was accusing me of messing around. (It absolutely crossed my mind because this friend of ours was super good looking and had a thing for me, but I made it clear that I wasn't that type of person and that we could only be friends.) and yelling that I just want the single life and I don't want to be married anymore, demanding to know why I wanted to hang out with this guy, etc. He went so far as to back me into a corner and yell at me demanding "the truth" and he was in my face so much that I could feel his spit hitting my face. (note: I NEVER question the people he hangs out with or why he's going where he's going because he's never given me a reason to doubt him and I haven't given him reason to doubt me either.) I am very passive-aggressive and I walked back outside to cool off for awhile after that and he hasn't done it since. I don't plan on leaving because my step-daughter needs me and I've promised her that I'll always be around. To top it all off, he'll go 5-7 months without giving up sex or anything. I've tried lingerie, offering a threesome with another woman (I obviously wouldn't mind that lol), giving him a free pass to be with someone else, offering to give him a BJ (which he used to beg for) and asking for nothing in return even though he hasn't gone down on me in over a YEAR, I've tried ignoring him, being flirty, begging, role playing, talking dirty, being discreetly provocative by like brushing up against him and stuff.....nothing works. Nothing. We just had sex for the first time in 6 months, it lasted 5-10 min and he didn't even try to get off. During those 6 months, he'd wake me up in the middle of the night and attempt sex, then stop because "his back hurt", "his legs hurt", "he was too tired", and once, he let me get on top because his back hurt and right when I started to find my rhythm and stuff, he goes "are you almost done?" and I was like "Well, no..." and he goes "Well could you hurry up because my back hurts...you can go ahead and finish though..." and I rolled off of him and had to fight back tears because I have to ask him to like touch my boobs or grab me or do anything with his hands anymore. It's like he's there physically but somewhere else in his head. My emotions are all over the place because I love him so much, but he's all over the place and I feel like he's putting my sexual needs on the back burner to literally everything else and I hate that but I also feel like I'm being really selfish here. He gets SOO crappy anytime I even try to talk about sex or my needs or anything and he gets SO annoyed and says "I need to stop putting so much emphasis on sex/pressuring him and grow up"... I just don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life....I need advice.
  10. I have finally decided to make the hardest decision on my life. I am getting ready to leave. I have been married for 15 years together 17 years. I am leaving because I can't live a lie anymore. I will have to move away from my family because they will not agree with my decision. I would like to know if anyone has made a similar decision. If so what was the easiest, what was the hardest?
  11. I'm 24 and currently in the process of divorcing my husband (whom I love very much but it just isn't working) I'm bi curious but only my husband and my best friend know. I want to meet women like me but I have no idea where to start, and a huge fear of coming out.
  12. Lets hear it for the man! - or woman- what do you appreciate about your partner or partners? - I appreciate his emotional maturity.. I appreciate the little things - laughing together - his playfulness - his thoughtfulness.
  13. I am struggling with this. I am married but polyamorous, but when I seek potential partners, I can't seem to find any in my area that are interested (because I'm married). Even though he wouldn't be involved, they don't seem to believe me. Rant over
  14. Just a little more about me and my lifestyle. Im married but we are polyamorous. I am free to explore relationships with Women, but have struggled to find any interested in me.
  15. Hello, This is my first post on here so apologies if it's not in the right place! Quick about me, I'm 27 been married for 7 years in April and ive got two small (3 amd 1) girls...if im being honest, I've known that I am bisexual forever but only something that ive recently accepted amd actually spoken to my husband about. Ive dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety from being a teenager onwards and this is the first time ive actually felt comfortable enough within myself to talk to him about it. At first he was really into the fact that I also like women (amd would also like to open our relationship up for threesomes etc with both men and women). But I feel like the initial 'newness' has worn off for him now and recently he has become very insecure about us, me and our relationship. I/we have always been honest with each other but now I feel I just dont know how to show him that I love him and want to be with him and come home to him but I want to also have experiences with others and especially with women. I met a woman about 5 months ago and we text and skype a lot. Hubby knows about this and as happy...we even arranged for her to come to visit but hubby got cold feet at the last minute and we cancelled which really upset me because think I am developing feelings for her. To be frank, I feel really confused about what to do and how to feel and act. Had anyone any advice? Really I just want to have my cake and eat it I think! Amy advice or comments are more than welcome!!!
  16. I’m still looking for that special woman. It’s HARD as FUCK. Because I’m married and we have young kids, it’s a struggle. No one wants to deal with that. It would be one thing if we didn’t have kids yet; people would be more willing to join. But nope, not at this point. Finding a bisexual sisterwife is damn near impossible. I’ve tried a few dating sites already, where hubby and I both pretty much shared a profile, but no luck. Plus, those dating sites charge the hell out of you just for trying to get in contact with somebody. It’s ridiculous. What’s the point of being there if they charge you just to PM someone? -___- Not giving up, though. This just started this year. We honestly haven’t been looking that long. It only seems like it’s been forever. It’s just a struggle for ME because my heart seriously aches for some genuine female companionship. It literally makes me cry sometimes, because the reasoning for me craving it so bad is because EVERY SINGLE FEMALE in my life has done me wrong somehow. Not the males; the FEMALES. So I have a real hole in my heart from being emotionally damaged from females, even family. Yes, especially family. Even if I have to take someone in who only has the potential of being bi, I’ll do that and see where the relationship goes. I can only hope that it goes there. But I am like, DYING to try some pussy. I want to be so close to a woman right now. I want a poly-amorous relationship. I know it’s possible to love more than one person. As much as I’d like to, I know I cannot focus on this depressing shit all day long, so until I find her, I’ll just be working on bettering myself and getting my shit together financially. Building up my business and raising my kids. Because no one wants an unmotivated person in their lives. ;)
  17. Hi there. So, it's mine and my husband's 3 year anniversary. To be honest, sometimes I worry that just because I'll be happy even if I never experiment with a woman that it somehow excludes me from being able to comment/connect. I love this community and support it offers, and would love to find a friend to explore this aspect of myself with, but I'll be ok if I don't because he comes first. I feel a bit.. worried as if one day I'll be turned away. Everyone's situation is different, every relationship is different, I truly believe that. And everyone here seems pretty awesome, and I feel like a b***** talking about this. This seems a bit rambling but I just needed to reach out for a moment. Believe me, I'm not saying that I think any of you would be a jerk. It's just like.. when you love a man so much, does that make your attraction to women less valid? I don't think so, but I worry about feeling that way.
  18. Hello everyone, I don't know what took me so long to find you! I am married and have been for 25 years. I have always been attracted to women and had a very short lived relationship with a woman a few years ago. Once I opened that door, I'm finding it's damn near impossible to close. So I struggle now, with keeping my husband and 4 children happy and wanting "more" for myself. My husband and I have never really talked about this, although he knows I find women beautiful. Fortunately for me, I've been transparent about my feelings with my closest girlfriends and found they love me unconditionally. But still, you can't really delve into these issues with folks that just don't understand it. Anyway, happy to have found you.
  19. So for years my husband has been aware of, and encouraged my bisexuality. For some reason, all of the sudden, he's nervous about it and not sure if he's okay with it. I don't know if it's because I told him about joining Shy's, or because things haven't been perfect between the two of us for the past few weeks... I don't understand. I feel like I would want him to be considerate of my feelings if our roles were reversed, but a total hypocrite too- because I still want to date. Ugh. Anyone experiencing/ed this before?
  20. Hello ladies, Sorry for those of you who have wasted time reading this thread, but the decision of my friend I was mentioning in this thread (the thread was not about me) is a deletion of this thread. She would prefer no whatsoever connection in relation with Shy from now on. So, I will edit this change now, as I do not believe I am entitled to delete the whole thread by myself? I contacted a moderator, Lilac_lover, to ask her advice on that. If anybody knows if I can delete a thread by myself, please let me know! Sorry about that!
  21. As I've mentioned before, I told my husband about my attraction to women a few months ago. His reaction was not wonderful. While he is understanding, he can't grasp the idea of me exploring my sexuality with another woman. The last time we talked about it he made it clear that he would never change his mind and he is not interested in talking about my sexuality anymore. This has obviously been very difficult for me and it has put a wedge in our marriage. However, I think my husband is a master of denying. I don't think he realizes how this has emotionally distanced us. In fact, I have said many things over the years that would clue him into my bisexuality but he never realized. Or he didn't want to. So now I feel uncomfortable talking about this with my husband which is the first time I haven't felt comfortable talking to him about something. So I decided to seek the help of a marriage counselor. I told my husband that I wanted to see a counselor because of other marriage issues we have because of his mother. Deep down I think he would admit that he knows that's not the only thing I want to talk about. I plan on seeing the counselor alone first to come up with a plan for talking to my husband about this. But I'm also afraid if I do that he might feel betrayed like we are conspiring against him. This is just delicate territory and I'm not sure how to proceed. I'd really appreciate any and all advice that you all have to offer.
  22. This is basically a theraputic post. I can't put this on some other site... no one would understand. So, if you don't want to listen to someone whine about their teenage crush then move along little doggy. I've screwed up, a lot. I'm 27, but I'm acting like I'm 17 again. The woman who I've been in love with (like... alpha and omega love) since I was 13 came back into my life recently. I remember the day she messaged me... I started freaking out to my husband, hahaha. Our relationship has taken a lot of twists and turns. She knows I am in love with her, and I know she has feelings for me too. However, she is married with a child now. I've tried to come up with ways it could work, but in the end I don't think it ever will. But we have made cutesy little pacts that "If your guy goes, I'll take you in." and we are both each others "second" choice, hahaha. But we've gotten a little touchy before. We don't see each other in person much, since we live 30 minutes away and both can't drive. But I know this woman is going to be in my life for the rest of my life. That should be enough. But when I love someone I need to be with them. And there's this wall that I hit, and a line that I cannot cross. I don't dislike her husband, I understand his feelings, I get it. It's weird, it's stupid, but I have always loved her. And now I have her back, so I need to hold on as tight as I can. So while I'm feeling all of this, this 19 year old red headed vixen type swoops in and snatches up my heart like a fish, gobbles me up, and spits me back to the sea. That's for another time. I feel so vulnerable and stupid. Nothing is the same for me anymore. Nothing. I've changed into a person I don't know. My husband is just along for the ride, but he's changing too. I feel, as if I'm coming alive in some respects, discovering me. But at the same time I feel like I'm fading away. I don't even know what I'm typing at this point. But I know I need to slow the f*** down in life. I feel like I ran towards a cliff at full speed, jumped, and now I'm in free fall and I can't see the ground. Hopefully pillows? I love so hard, and so fast, and so fiery. When things go south, I spew hate and venom. It's like I can't control my heart. It is searching, searching for something it longs for. I just don't get it. Why did all of this start? Why did she of all people come back into my life if I can't be with her? It's the most painful thing in the world! And I'm afraid... what if in the future I do something, become a homewrecker... destroy those kid's lives? I'm so scared of the unknown, of making mistakes, of being bad. Yeah, a lot of crying was involved in this. I should probably stop now. Have you ever loved someone you can't have? A rose behind a glass window? TL;DR: Girl gets "friendzoned" by married other woman, very sad, wah wah. <3 Thanks for listening.
  23. My husband is bisexual! I had absolutely no idea up until very recently that there was even a chance he was anything other than straight! I came out to him a year ago and he was very understanding and kind and made me feel very secure and loved...at the time I thought he was just expressing deep empathy for me but it turns out he understood how I felt WAY more than I knew at the time. Two weeks ago we were having a conversation one morning and the subject of sexuality came up...and he came out with it! He said it's been weighing on him for his entire life basically....and after I came out to him he said he really wanted to tell me but he didn't know how he also was afraid I would look at him differently. There isn't a lot of support for bisexual people in general but I do think it might be even more difficult in some ways to come out as a bisexual man. Anyway I'm honestly thrilled and I feel more in love with him than ever! He is slowly opening up more and more to me and it's been quite fun to admire attractive women and MEN together
  24. First I'd like to let you guys that don't know about postsecret.com, know about it. It's a website where a guy takes secrets that people mail to him and posts them. Every Sunday, he puts up a whole new page of secrets he received that week. I have been checking postsecret weekly for years, and I own most of the published books. Highly recommend this site to anyone looking for something new to check out. That having been said I read a secret awhile back that really opened my eyes. It was a woman who had sent in a postcard and her secret was that her lack of sex drive for years and years, and subsequent action, had contributed to her husband developing erectile dysfunction later in his life. She regretted it. She especially regretted it when she hit her sexual prime and he could not satisfy her. This woman, this stranger, this secret, this postcard, opened my eyes. My sex life had been lacking, for as long as I could remember. My drive has never been very high and as a result I don't go out of my way to meet my needs. Eventually that led to a bunch of sex that was only fulfilling for him, and after years of it I just kind of forgot that sex was supposed to be fun. It was a chore to me. I hated it. But after reading this woman's secret I thought to myself, I don't want to do the same thing to my husband, and I'm afraid I'm doing just that. For years, like more than 10 years, our sex was "Wanna have some lovin tonight" "Sure". No foreplay, no kissing. In the beginning he tried often to pay attention to me and mine, but I was too embarrassed to let him spend much time in my area. Not because I have anything to be worried about, because I'm an incredibly insecure individual who just didn't value herself at all, or my need for orgasm, so I didn't not ask or require that my husband value it either. My husband is a good, good man. I don't blame him for not pressing the issue all these years he thought he was giving me what I wanted, but it made me feel unwanted. Because I didn't ask for what I wanted, because I never told him what I wanted, I never asked to get off, I always made him a priority in sex and because I insisted on it, year after year after year, I began to feel that it was normal. Long story short, it caught up with me. It got to the point that I wasn't even willing to have sex for him anymore. It was a chore. It took me a long time to realize what I had done, what we had let happen, to our passion. Backtrack to about 8 months ago, when we finally had an open conversation about it. I felt like some kind of freak, the things that I was saying, the things I was telling him I wanted to try, the things I suddenly wanted to ask him to do to me. But I got through it, and have learned to be more vocal about what I want. Sometimes I have to remind myself I've been having sex for him for 15 years and that it's ok to ask for something I want, it's hard to change that switch in your mind. That one that says "Someone might judge you for that behavior". But I switched it to, "I don't give a flying rats ass because this is my husband, he wants to please me." Our sex has gotten amazing! I have been brave enough to ask for things I've wanted for years, but never asked. Just Sunday I woke him up to some good booty, then reminded him to keep me on his mind all day, because I was going to want more after putting the 8 year old to bed. A year ago that man would have been lucky to get it once a month (Sad, I know). Now I have a hard time waiting until we put the boy to bed! I want to put this out there, because if I had had someone say these things to me before it might not have taken so long for me to prioritize ME in my sex life. A womans orgasms are important. It's okay to have to ask your partner for something specific. If you don't tell them, how do they know? Two weeks ago, my husband said something to me I'd never heard, and it was so hot. He had been massaging me, and touching, and pleasing me, for about 45 minutes. Things were super hot, and it was all very erotic and gentle. And suddenly I couldn't take it anymore, and I begged him to put his dick in me. I wanted to please him the way he had been me, and I was ready at that moment. With a big, huge grin on his face he whispered in my ear, "Not tonight, and maybe not tomorrow. Now that I know the ways I can please you without it, I want to see you get off more than I want anything else." This Saturday we will be celebrating our 10 year wedding Anniversary...and all I can think about is where I can drop our son so we can have sex ALL day, not just all night.
  25. Hey all, I'm in a ltr with my dbf but I am coming up against issues related to my attraction preferences. Right now I am experiencing much more physical attraction to women than to men which makes me feel super guilty. I feel like if my partner knew, he would be upset. At the same time, I feel very sexually attracted to men when there is a romantic/emotional connection. My partner and I have been somewhat distant the last few weeks as we have been dealing with moving in to a new place and him starting back up at school as a teacher which takes a lot of time from him. This causes us to lose track of some of that romantic connection which brings the sexual satisfaction to our relationship. Definitely feeling anxious about it and have talked with him about how to bring that romance back in such busy times. Working on it. I think I'll always feel a bit guilty though about my physical attraction preferences. How does it work for you all?