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Found 13 results

  1. I've recently started dating someone who I have very strong feelings for and really want to be with. They (they're non-binary) are polyamorous and were in a long-term relationship when we started dating, although they broke up with their primary partner quite soon afterwards. I imagined that this was only going to be something casual but it's quickly turned into something more. I didn't mind the thought of polyamory when I thought that this would only be a sexual relationship, but I have some doubts about whether a poly relationship is for me in the long term. However I really want to be with this person and I can see the benefits of polyamory as well. At the moment they are seeing one other person apart from me, and I'm not seeing anyone else (although I do have a date with this woman this weekend). It's just all quite new to me (to both of us actually) and I'm not sure how to feel secure in such a relationship and how to deal with jealousy. It seems that a lot of the people on this forum are in some type of non-monogamous relationship so I would really love to hear about your experiences and appreciate any advice for how to make it work and be happy in a polyamorous relationship.
  2. For some time now, at least a decade, I have balked at the idea of a soul mate. The idea of a one and only seems ludicrous to me, especially given how we change over time and in the presence of different people. You will draw something out of me that another wouldn't, and so to me we seem to spend our lives caroming off one another and occasionally ending up in a pocket*. That's not to say that there isn't commitment, true love, or any of those other familiar terms, but maybe I'm too firmly rooted in this plane of reality to allow for the more spiritual exploration that those words entail? Like most other Big Thoughts that I dance with I tuck it into the "Maybe, But Whatever" category. But then again words also have different meanings based on who is using them, right? Maybe you believe in or know that soul mates exist and your definition of it is different than mine. So here's the rub: what does the term "soul mate" mean to you, and is it real? Can you have more than one? Do they last forever? And what do you mark on your tax return? GO! (for me if I find the word "soul mate" bubbling up in my brain I know that someone is activating me in a manic, nearly mystical way. It means I'm curious, I want to know more, I want to try harder, go farther, etc...but put a ring on my soul? Nah. She's interested in things I can't even wrest from unconsciousness to fully understand.) *I must miss playing pool.
  3. I just got dumped by my secondary partner because they don't like my primary. Not in the sense that they dislike the arrangement - they specifically dislike this individual. Normally my reaction to "it's me or them" is "I'm choosing the one who didn't make me choose." However, this is not the only person in my life who dislikes my boyfriend. Due to a belladonna allergy he has sporadic anger management problems when he has ingested something he is allergic to, such as chili peppers. That was actually demonstrated this morning when he got in an altercation with security on the train. I had half a mind to break up with him then and there. Maybe the conversation with my secondary would have gone a different way... They say the only common thread in your failed relationships is you, and I do cop to my fair share of baggage. However the saying doesn't entirely hold here. This is the second person who's broken up with me because they didn't like him. The first time, there were other issues, but with this most recent one it's literally the only reason. If I'm honest with myself the secondary partner is a much better fit for me. I think all three of us know that on some level and it's the source of some of the tension between us. Half the conversations with my primary partner lately have been about various problems in our relationship. It's not like we're married or engaged - the only formal thing holding us together is a lease that's up in July. Feel free to respond with "dump his ass already!" "this is why poly doesn't work" "you need to go to couples counseling and read xyz book to strengthen your primary relationship" "men suck!" "hugs" or any sentiment that strikes your fancy. Warning I am grumpy and sarcastic but I will restrain it as best as possible. /rant
  4. So my husband and I have these friends. They have been together since college and just got married after 10 years together. We knew the dude, Jim, for a long time. My husband grew up with him and I have been friends with him since high school. Jim's wife, Annie, has been around since early college so we all have known each other for awhile. But we don't really talk about deep stuff together even though we have been friends for awhile. I would call us old friends, but not close friends. Jim's personality it pretty introverted. A little immature. He's the type to just want to spend all day with his computer. His wife is more outgoing, a little bit butch with super short hair, facial piercings. I always got a bit of a gay vibe from her. She also has a lot of lesbian friends which doesn't necessarily mean anything but I just always thought she liked chicks too. But we have never talked about it. So recently a mutual friend found Annie on Bumble. She said she was in an ethically non-monogamous relationship and she was looking for an open minded lady or couple. I'm not really surprised but at he same time I'm so curious! Mostly because I'd love for my husband to be that supportive of my sexuality. And I just want to know questions like how long has this been going on and does Jim date dudes or participate with the couples/ladies they find. I'm not at all interested in trying to get with them though. Neither is my type, my husband would never go for it, and we have known each other for too long. But I am certainly intrigued. The four of us are going to the beach together in early July and I'm curious to know if they will try anything or if they will at least open up to us about their situation. Just thought I would share! The good news is this has opened up conversation between my husband and me about it which works in my favor. Jim and Annie don't know I'm bi. Or at least I haven't told them but I do think they are at least suspicious because they drop hints from time to time.
  5. Hi ladies, I've recently came a cross a show on Netflix that I think you may like. Its called You Me Her. Its about a married couple introducing a 3rd to their relationship. The wife is bisexual and the husband is bored so meets an escort called Izzy. Then the wife meets her and they both fall for her. As someone who is bisexual and has been polyamourus in the past I found it really interesting. There is a huge lack of poly TV Shows and Im really enjoying this one. It looks at the dynamics of how to make a relationship with three people work. Worth a look.
  6. I understand this may be the case for some people; however, as a happily married woman who can see herself loving a woman in addition to her husband (and perhaps I'm already developing feelings for a woman), I vehemently disagree with the following quote: "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second." - Johnny Depp https://pics.me.me/the-law-of-attraction-if-you-love-two-people-at-11657089.png Oh Johnny, poly may not be for you, but you should know love doesn't work that way. Here's a good site on polyamory: https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html
  7. *Warning, this blog will contain content that deals with polyamory. If you are not open to polyamory or don't practice it, I don't want to hear from you. Yes, we are free to do whatever we want, but you're not going to help me. Please carry on.* *Second warning: there will be gratuitous use of the f-word. If you do not like the f-word, Then, do not proceed." I don't think I will never disclose any information about any of my secondary relationships to any of my monogamous friends who aren't open to poly. I have one friend who is open and does not judge me or tell me "why don't you spend more time with your husband" or "be glad you still have your husband." She listens to me, and she understands my feelings! I only have one of her, and I can't just unload on her because she's all I've got! Back to the statement: "why not just focus on your husband and don't even worry about finding another partner?" Are you fucking kidding me? When did I ever mention that something was wrong with my husband? Why do people even bring him into the conversation when he isn't part of the problem??? Why do people do that? This is some heteronormative and mono-normative (I know there is a word for it, but I can't think of it right now) type bullshit! Honestly! It is statements like these that push me to the point where I don't have patience when talking to someone who is not familiar with polyamory. I am upset that every external partner I have attempted to go out with has flaked out on me. My husband has been nothing but supportive! He and I spend a lot of time together! A lot! He and I talk together! Our love life is beautiful. Do I miss him when he is at work? Absolutely, I do! Who wouldn't miss their husband? If I didn't, then there might be a problem; however, there is no problem with our goddamn relationship? Why do people feel like they have to fucking tell me to spend MORE time with my husband?!?! I DO spend time with him! We spend a lot of time together! Every week! Every weekend! Why do people think that I have problems with my primary marriage?! WE ARE ABOUT AS NORMAL AS EVERY OTHER MARRIED COUPLE! For fuck's sake! Why? Why do people assume that there are problems with your primary relationship? The secondary partner isn't an imaginary person! They existed too! I can't be pissed or sad because I lost my second partner? I'm supposed to be numb about this whole other person not here in my life anymore???? So mono-normative of that!!! Ugh! That second partner meant something to me! I'm not just going to pretend that she didn't exist! That is horrible! That is a disservice to another human being, granted she pissed me off, but I cared about her! I still do and that is what pisses me off even more about it! Ughhhhh! She pisses me off that she gave up before the relationship could even have a chance! I'm so angry at her. She was so good. So good. Damn it! I can't even talk to anyone else about it. She even lived SO CLOSE to me!!!! I'm not going to talk about her to my husband because he will get very protective of me and just say mean things about her, and I don't want to hear that. Lol! This is what I love about him. He defends me to no end. I appreciate him and I love him so much. *cries on the floor* My phone is in the other room because I do not want to hear the notifications from my friend who thoroughly pissed me off. Just the mere mentioning of them advising me to "spend more time with my husband" and they've never even spent time with me to know that I do spend plenty of time with him makes me want to slap them. My god. I'm done! Fucking done. I'm going to go to bed. I need to go to my corner and think about all the things I've said. I'm not asking for advice. I am just venting. That's all. I'm not looking for anything. HOWEVER, If you are poly, know a lot about polyamory, and STILL practice, or you have some encouraging words that have kept you strong and active in polyamorous living, I'm not opposed to seeing them. Later, Bella P.S. My apologies for the cursing, but I'm utterly pissed off because I lost my secondary partner because she just...I can't even get into it because there will be a fucking novel here.
  8. Dh and I went last weekend. Whoooooo boy! So sexy. It was quite an experience for us to see it together and see what is possible, but I also had to come to terms with the fact that it is very much movie magic and a stretching of the truth. What are your thoughts about it if you have seen it?
  9. Hey ladies! Whew! It has been a while since I've posted something like this on here. I've been off forums for a long time, and I only wrote one active forum post the other day. I know some of my "old peeps" know my lifestyle, but for those of you who have never interacted with me, I am married (to a man), and we are polyamorous. We had a triad at one point, but have chosen a V-type relationship because it works best with us. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "V-type," it means that my husband and my secondary partner will only be friends. They will not have romantic connections. Hence the space above the V. It is not connected. So that is our vocabulary lesson! I have been unsuccessful in my attempts to find a secondary partner who will stay longer than eight months. Then, they decide after I spent $700 on a plane ticket and ruining my very first time in Florida because they suddenly realized I wasn't good enough without giving me a chance...yeah I'm still bitter about that. Side note: if I weren't sure you were the one for me, I would not make you spend so much money to fly to me. No. I would have told you before you tried to buy the ticket that you weren't my type. But no, she waited until I actually got there, and treated me like I was a bother to her. Her own husband and friends treated me better than she did. I cried the last day at her house on the air mattress she laid out for me, which was in the garage on the first-night mind you. It wasn't until her husband told me that I could move it out to the living room. Yeah, she lied and said they had a room in the garage. I'm thinking it is a nice decked out room. No...it was a mattress on the cement floor in their garage! No, ma'am, I took that mattress and moved that thing out to the living room. That was strike 1. Strike 2 was when we were out somewhere, and we were talking about ideal types of women, and I went first and described her (I was serious. I really liked her)! She starts describing a woman who looked nothing like me, and I'm like, wow...way to make me feel ugly...Strike 3 was when we were back at her home, and she decides to leave me at her home by myself while she decided to go to work and was going to LEAVE my last day there without saying goodbye looking me in the eye. Just, "yeah, good luck on your trip home. Bye!" Like she was glad I was leaving. It was effed up. So yeah, that was messed up. True story, bro. Anyway, I want someone who is committed to being in a relationship with me and will actually take me seriously. Someone who will NEVER treat me like the person I described above. This is why I have become franker because I will NEVER allow this to happen to me. I'm angry that I allowed this to happen. I was an idiot not to curse her out right then and there, but I was not in my home state. I didn't want to make it difficult to come back. What have I been doing? I've been using almost every online forum I could find and OKC. After being used by a woman who was experimenting with me (unbeknownst to me) to see if she like women or not, it put a bad taste in my mouth for heteroflexible people or any of the flexibles. It's going to take a lot for me even to trust someone who is hetero/homoflexible anymore. Yeah, I know...as many strikes some lesbians would give me for being bisexual (note I said some. not all lesbians think this way) just know that is how I feel. I want a loving relationship with a woman who would like to be my secondary partner whom I will love as much as I love my husband. This is all I'm looking for. I want to go to a munch (kinky talk) and see if I can meet people this way. Here's the thing. I feel I have this curse whenever I go out in public to find people. More dudes end up coming up to me, and I'm like, "No no! I want a woman!" Jeeze! Anyway, I'm so frustrated with finding someone who seems to have what I want only to discover that they bit off more than they can chew, and then tell me, "oh I'm sorry! You're a wonderful person, but I'm not ready..." Ughhhh! Breakups are the worst! That's all. I'm just feeling kinda poopy because I can't find a woman who wants to be with me and is not suddenly threatened by my honesty that I would be as devoted to her as I am with my husband. Seriously, people do not take me seriously when I tell them that I'm a good partner. My partners know they are loved very much and I tend to show it a lot with them. *sigh* I'm babbling. I hope I made sense. Bella
  10. Another thread reminded me of a discussion I've had many times in my past two relationships. Is dating someone of the same gender as your existing partner the same as dating someone of the opposite gender? Do you prefer one of each, if you are not exclusively monogamous? If you are in a heterosexual relationship, where you are allowed to date women, are you also allowed to date men? Is your husband allowed to date women? Opinions?
  11. Just a little more about me and my lifestyle. Im married but we are polyamorous. I am free to explore relationships with Women, but have struggled to find any interested in me.
  12. My girlfriend, A, and I have a monogamish/open relationship, mostly because she identifies as poly, and feels a strong need to have both men and women in her life (I'm gay, so no such need). I am on board, that's fine. When she started dating a guy, the first since we got together, in April, I expressed to her that I don't want her to be more "out" about him than she is with me (which basically, she's barely out at all). Historically, she's posted all over FaceBook about her relationships with men, and there's nary a comment about us. This has bothered me for along time, but I understood, and was willing to compromise. She said the public thing regarding men wouldn't be a problem, that it wasn't anyone else's business. She refused for months to introduce me to any friends, and even still, I've only met a couple. She will hold my hand in public generally, but when we go somewhere that she is concerned about being recognized, we can't appear to be together. Today she told me that a new guy, M, she's been seeing for a week is coming over this weekend for dinner with one of her closest friends (who I've met), her friend's boyfriend, and her ex-MIL. I did not attend her birthday party in April because this MIL was there, and she's not out to her, even though we'd been seeing each other for 9 months at that point, and have a 3 year history. I was straight up offended when she told me that this new guy is already meeting the friends and family when I've been hidden for so long, and she's only just recently STARTING to feel okay about me meeting people in her life, nearly a year into dating. But a WEEK with the new guy? Totally fine in her book. And the night before, she's attending his birthday party, with his friends and who knows who else. I realize in poly relationships, it's dangerous to compare. But when I am supposedly primary, this stuff stings. Our schedules conflict a lot, and it feels like even when we do get time together, it's limited, and often interrupted. I am certainly not a part of her social circle or family life. When her dad was here a couple of months ago, I was kept far, far away. She offered to end it with the new guy, and I told her no, that's not what I want. I see that as the road to our demise. She has never been successful in monogamous relationships, and I don't want to set her up to fail, or to resent me. I don't have a problem with her dating this guy and whatever they do physically, but feeling like he's a bigger part of her public life, especially so soon, is offensive and hurtful. I know she cares about me and isn't trying to hurt me, but I'm frustrated that she doesn't see things like this and how they would hurt me. She already knows how much I don't like her being closeted, but I feel like it's magnified when she parades the new guy around like it's no big deal, as if he's the only person in her life.
  13. Over 2 years since we opened up to poly and I still haven't found that connection with a woman that I am looking for. I should be grateful as I have found a lovely boyfriend (in addition to my husband), but really want that connection with a woman. I did find someone but they have a very complicated family situation and as it stands we can't have the relationship we both want.